Dear Reader,
If you found this book lying in a trashcan, pond, garbage disposal, or lumber mill, please return it. You will find nothing inside this, the final tale of the Baudelaire orphan, but misery and despair. If this book was not lying in a trashcan, pond, garbage disposal, or lumber mill, than now is your chance to deposit it in such a place, before you turn to the first page. By doing so you will be saving yourself from many horrid things, such as a monoplane, a fossil collection, several burning objects, and, perhaps worst of all, undercooked Chinese delicacies. Hopefully by now you have decided to dispose of this book in any way possible, but if you are still unfazed, I warn you; this is no fairy tale; with no happy ending.
With all due respect ( and regret)
Lemony Snicket
When I walk down a street ( which is a rare occurrence in itself, due to the fact that I am currently awaiting execution), people normally ask me one of three questions;
Why must the lives of some be so horrid that I cannot bear to speak of them?
How does the story of the Baudelaire orphans end?
Would you please pass the tea?
As the answer to question one is unfathomable, and the answer to question 3 is obvious ( I am indeed receiving a coded message in Pig Latin), I will answer question 2. The Baudelaires story will end happier than many believe, though sadder than most expect. If you still wish to discover one last frightening chapter in the Baudelaire story, read on………..