Takes place long after the final chapter. Spoilers - don't read if you haven't finished the book. As always, enjoy!
Breathe in. Breathe out.
It's become almost a manual task - breathing, that is. I lay on my deathbed now, relieved that my work is almost done. As I feel my life slipping away from me, I can't help but think of all the strings that I left untied. All the apologies I never made. All of the wrongs left to be righted. My time is limited.
"Not enough time. Leave it," The Voice echoes in my skull. It has haunted me for years, this Voice. I am nearly freed from its clutches. I will not to listen to it this time. Better late than never.
I'm going to write a letter. Just one, as I would need a hundred more lifetimes to apologize to everyone that I've wronged over the years. A letter to Ferris. Dear, sweet Ferris. The man I loved. The man I let down. The man whose very bones cried out to me as I betrayed him. I reach for my bedside table, pick up the quill and parchment that have been waiting for me. My old hands shake as I write what should have been written so long ago.
Ferris, I am sorry.
I am sorry for the pain and the heartbreak that I caused you.
Sorry for the harsh words.
Sorry for letting The Voice convince me to hurt you.
For nearly forcing you.
For looking the other way as you were beaten savagely.
For drowning the note you wrote me.
For not seeking you out in all the years that followed.
For not letting you know how much I truly cared.
Ferris, I know you must hate me.
Hate me for continuing life without you.
But I have not truly been living.
Every moment since I destroyed your letter has been consumed by the thought of you.
It is bittersweet.
Ferris, I regret so much.
Wish I could turn time around.
But I have never regretted being with you.
Ferris, I loved you.
I still love you.
I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me eventually.
We'll have an eternity to heal.
I will see you very soon.
With love always,
Jacob.
It is not enough, I know. I eagerly await the moment I will be able to apologize face-to-face.
Breathe in.
I set down my writing and close my eyes.
Breathe out.
I am almost done here.
Breathe in.
Ferris, I'm coming home.
Breathe out.