Of course, it wasn't meant to last. They were far two young really, too in love to think that far ahead. It seemed as though even the world agreed with them on that day as grey clouds clogged up the sky and the smell of rain filled the air.
Jyn sighed as she pulled off her wedding ring.
"That's a bit pre-emptive, isn't it? I mean we're not even divorced yet." Came Cassian's voice from behind her. She turned around only to see him leaning up against the door frame.
Jyn shook her head. "Don't. Just don't."
She extended her hand out towards him. "You should probably take this back."
He stared at the wedding band she held between her finger tips before pushing himself off of the door frame and walking up to her. Cassian held out his hand and Jyn dropped it into his palm, her fingers slightly grazing his. She ignored the feeling it gave her and stepped back. Cassian moved the ring around in the palm of his hand, aimlessly staring at it. An unsettling silence had begun to form and hang over them as the very air between them became tense. The only thing that broke the silence in a moment that seemed to last days, was the sudden sound of a baby crying.
Jyn and Cassian's four-month old daughter, Emma, sat in a play pen in the corner of the living room. Jyn turned around and walked over to her, bending down to pick her up.
"Shh, shh. It's okay." She said in a hushed voice holding Emma close to her chest. Emma looked over Jyn's shoulder, her thumb mindlessly in her mouth. She glanced around the room staring at everything with wide eyes when her gaze happened to fall on Cassian who was still standing in the middle of the living room. Cassian made eye contact with his daughter. Although she looked like the spitting image of her mother, Emma had his dark, brown eyes. A feeling of pain hit him as he looked at her.
Emma started to become unsettled and she reached her hand out towards Cassian, making little gurgling noises as she did. Jyn turned around whilst she tried to settle Emma. "You should leave. Your flight probably leaves soon." She said in an almost bitter tone.
Cassian only looked at her, not saying anything. Instead of saying something he moved towards her and when he was close enough he lowered his head a little so he was face to face with Emma. Jyn looked away, staring purposefully at one of the walls.
"Hey," he said softly, reaching out to hold one of Emma's tiny hands. She grasped his finger, her other hand still in her mouth. "Now, you be good for your mom, okay?" Cassian had to stop talking for a second as he could feel the lump forming in his throat. "And know that I love you very, very much." He finished, kissing the top of her head and pulling his hand away from hers.
As he stood up straight he made eye contact with Jyn. Cassian was standing so close to her in that moment, all she did was look at him; look at those deep, brown eyes. That same intense feeling from before returned and for one fleeting moment she felt like she wanted to stop him from walking out of that door. Looking at those eyes, she felt like she could fall in love with all over again. Could.
But then he backed away and so did she. All the feelings of anger and pain once again clouded her mind and she broke her gaze with him, glancing at the floor. "Go." She whispered, not even looking in his direction.
Cassian turned away and walked into the hallway, doing his best to ignore Emma's muffled whimpers. In the hallway, a suitcase, a duffle bag and a babies' car seat were placed on the floor. Cassian bent down to make sure that the seatbelt on the car seat was secure. In the car seat itself sat Sofia, the twin sister of Emma, fast asleep. She was quietly sucking on her dummy, her blue embroidered blanket draped over her to keep her warm. Cassian smiled sadly at his daughter and finally stood up and gathered his things.
Jyn had already said her goodbyes; she knew that if she even so much at looked at Sofia now she would only be filled with a feeling of regret at the idea of letting Cassian take her daughter to another country on the other side of the Atlantic.
But this is what's best, isn't it? Instead of having her children grow up and watch their parents in an unhappy marriage, have them live separately. Even if it meant that Emma would never know her father and Sofia her mother. All of Jyn's mind was trying to convince her that this was the best thing to do.
Finally, she heard the front door open and then slam shut, leaving only herself and Emma behind.
'It's the right thing to do' were the words Jyn kept replaying in her mind over and over again. Even so, that didn't stop tears from forming in her eyes as she bought up her spare hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. She breathed in sharply as tears eventually pushed their way through her closed eyelids and a sob escaped her lips.
In that moment there were no words that could've stop her from crying.
About an hour later, at Heathrow Airport, Cassian sat in his seat on the practicality empty plane, waiting for it to take off.
Sofia was awake at this point and she sat on her father's lap, dummy in her mouth and playing with a paper cup on the pull-out table in front of them. She gave a tiny squeal of delight as she gripped the cup in her small hands. Despite the circumstances, Cassian couldn't help but smile. "What have you got there, eh?" He said softly, and Sofia gave another happy laugh.
Slightly moving his attention away from his daughter, Cassian looked out the plane window next to him and noticed that it had begun to rain outside. The droplets raced down the window and he started at them blankly. His mind began to wonder to Jyn who was still on the other side of London.
They shouldn't have got married; he was only 23 and she was even younger at 21, but he was young and very stupid and very madly in love. He knew that she felt the same way about him too which is why when he proposed out of the blue as they lay in bed one Sunday morning she said yes. Cassian supposed that there was something idealistic and hopeful about it, like the kind of romances you see in indie movies but if the past year and a half proved anything it showed that they were not ready to get married and in some ways, they weren't ready to have children either.
They hadn't even discussed the idea of having kids but of course they were young and stupid and madly in love so it never even crossed their minds that it could happen. This meant that when it did happen, it came as a complete shock to Cassian when he came home from work one day and Jyn just blurted out that she was pregnant, placing the positive pregnancy test in front of him. She had been upset because she assumed he'd be mad but once the shock wore off Cassian became ecstatic and excited and eventually so did she. It was an even bigger shock when they found out they were having twins. Not that Cassian didn't love his daughters, he loved them more than life itself and he knew that Jyn did too, that seemed to be the only thing they could agree on these days, but realistically they should have planned it out more carefully.
They should've waited longer to get married, waited longer to do everything.
But it was too late and once the honeymoon period moved past, they found themselves becoming more irritable and they began to argue more than they ever had before. And about stupid, little things too like dirty plates in the sink or whose turn it was to put the bins out, irrelevant stuff really. Both Jyn and Cassian figured that if they couldn't even agree on little things like that then how could they carry on living together? They grew apart, became more bitter towards each other and eventually they got trapped in this endless cycle of "I don't want to be the one to say it".
Jyn was the one who finally suggested divorce and after a year and a half of married and three years of being together they split up, agreeing to take one of the girls each. Splitting up the girls was probably one of the hardest things Cassian had ever had to do in his life but it was for the better. At least he hoped it was.
Cassian was finally drawn out of his deep thoughts as he felt the plane move and begin to take off. He looked out of the window as he watched London slip by and then finally disappear as the plane moved above the clouds.
So, this was him: he had divorced Jyn Erso and was now on a flight heading to New Mexico in the United States of America where he hoped to get a fresh start with his daughter Sofia.
He put on a brave face for her but on the inside, he was crumbling and in the silence of the plane Cassian sat, staring out the window as tears slowly began to fall down his face.