Disclaimer: Not mine. Obviously. You know, one of these days I'm going to create something for TV that's huge, just so I don't have to disclaim it.

A/N: I saw the episode, don't even know the name, and I haven't seen much of it. Actually, I've pretty much just seen this line. So no jumping on me if there's a problem. Have fun!

Fire Me, Or…

"Gibbs, you're scaring me. You look like you're about to fire me, or send me undercover as DiNozzo's wife."

Gibbs leaned back, sipping his coffee. "However did you guess?" He asked, nonchalantly.

Kate spit out her coffee, and it wasn't because it was too strong. "You can't be serious!"

"As a heart attack." Seeing the look on Kate's face, he softened a bit. "Well, ok, you don't have to go as his wife. In fact, you're not really going undercover. But you are going to be his date."

"FOR WHAT?"

"There's a ball of sorts coming up. The president will be there. Therefore, we are required to take dates. It's too formal to be dateless. Therefore, you're going with DiNozzo."

"Why can't I go with McGee?" Kate was desperate.

"McGee, somehow, has gotten himself a girlfriend." Kate wondered why Gibbs looked like the cat who'd eaten the proverbial canary had just confessed to murder after hours of questioning.

"Who are you going with?"

"Abby." Gibbs smiled and stood up. "You're going with DiNozzo. Get a formal dress by a week from Saturday."

"Abby!" Kate shouted over the loud music blasting from Abby's speakers.

"What?" Abby's head popped up from behind a computer screen.

"You know that formal thing you're going with Gibbs to?" Kate perched herself on a desk.

"Yes…"

"He's assigning me to go with Tony." Abby winced in sympathy.

"That wasn't very nice of him."

"I know!" Kate started ticking off fingers. "First, he assumed I couldn't get myself a date. Second, he assumed nobody would ask me. Third, he assumed that I didn't care who I went with." She threw up her hands. "AND he assumed I didn't have a dress!"

"Well, do you?" Abby cocked her head to one side.

Kate frowned. "Well, no. But that's not the point."

Abby grabbed Kate's arm and headed for the door. "Come on. We're taking the afternoon off and we're going to find you a dress that'll knock Tony dead."

Kate sighed. "At least then I wouldn't have to put up with him…"

Meanwhile, Tony's reaction to the order to "find a tux, because you're taking Kate to that ball" was noticeably different. In fact, a reaction of any sort was markedly absent. Inside, he was of mixed opinion. On the one hand, he was glad for any excuse to take Kate out. He probably would have asked her, if Gibbs hadn't ordered it. If she'd said no, which was the likely answer, he would have just pretended he was being himself and joking.

On the other hand, the fact that she was ordered to go as his date wasn't going to do much for her attitude. Not that he blamed her, of course, but it was going to make her annoyed at Gibbs and at him. That wasn't a good thing.

Tony made a mental note to go check his closet to see if he still had his formal wear. Well, he'd just have to convince her he wasn't a playboy. Uphill battles were his specialty.

Abby spent the better part of the day before the ball at Kate's, getting ready.

"You know, for someone who doesn't have a thing for Gibbs, you're spending an awful lot of time on your appearance," Kate teased her. Abby had brushed out her pigtails, curling her hair until it lay gently across her bare shoulders. Her dress, which was black (what else?), was like a short sleeved dress with the top cut off. It clung tightly to her form, swirling out at the bottom. As she struggled to put on her high heels, she blushed.

"I just feel like I should look my best, since Gibbs is no doubt gonna look perfect, so I don't want to be shown up by my date."

Kate snorted. "Yeah, like that's all."

Abby grinned. "Well, you're sure obsessive for someone going with someone they say they hate."

It was Kate's turn to blush. "I never said I hated Tony… it's just annoyance." Her dress was a bright crimson red, which made her skin look paler and her hair blacker. The sleeves came to points on the backs of her hands, with a loop of ribbon that fit over her middle finger. It was tight and clingy all the way to the floor, and it showed off her years of physical conditioning. Her heels gave her a good three inches, putting her at around 5'9". Between both women, it had taken a good five hours to get looking perfect. They were both right. It was a lot of time to spend on getting ready for guys they claimed not to like…

Abby pointed at the door. "I think the guys are here."

"How did you know?" Kate narrowed her eyes. "The doorbell didn't ring."

Abby smiled. "I can hear them arguing about who should ring it." The doorbell rang loudly. "And Tony lost. Well, since he's your date, you open the door."

"Fine, fine…" Kate maneuvered her way to the door in her heels, and pulled it open. Tony was standing there, with Gibbs behind him. They both were dressed in very formal clothes. Kate managed to keep a straight face, but she hadn't been expecting how good Tony would look in a tux. Gibbs coughed slightly.

"Kate? You girls ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah. Hold on, let me go get Abby." She forced her mouth shut again and headed off to collect Abby. She found her waiting in the bathroom.

"Well? How'd they look?"

"Umm… Wow." Kate grinned.

Abby laughed. "That good?"

"Yeah. That good."

"Let's go, then!" Abby grabbed Kate and dragged her out to their waiting dates.

A/N: Ok, ok, this was supposed to be a one-shot. But it won't be. I promise I'll post the other half what is technically today or Monday. It'll be Tate and implied GAbby. And sorry about the cheesy sounding dress descriptions, but I wanted to get them out of the way so I didn't have to find spots to stick them in other places. I just want to break this up a bit, I still know exactly what's going to happen. Have fun!