I was browsing around my computer the other day and I found a folder containing all of my old one shot's that I'd written and I figured I'd post them again. So here's the first of quite a few. Read and review :)

He never tried to hide his feelings towards me. Ever since I joined the Order, I have heard nothing from him but biting remarks about my clumsiness, scathing questions about how I ever became an Auror, and sharp jabs about what I am.

It isn't my fault that I am clumsy, I was blessed with my fathers height and my mothers dainty feet, not the best combination. I could easily enlarge my feet, or shrink a few inches, but he would detest me even more for that. He never liked what I was, jealous I believe. Perhaps he would want to change is hooked nose, pale skin, and greasy hair, but then he wouldn't be the same.

He wouldn't be the man I have fallen in love with.

He hates me how I am, yet he would loathe me for altering myself. But perhaps if I changed myself into another, he would not so readily push me away. Perhaps if I looked like her, we could fulfill our dreams, we could live our fantasies.

Who said a Metamorphagus doesn't have more fun?

I know what he wants, I know who he wants. I have caught him looking at her occasionally during Order meetings, though he is usually sneering or scowling her way, the look in his eyes is different. There is a certain warmth that he can't hide, especially from one who has watched him for so long.

I was given solid proof one night, when I was ordered to take care of him after one of his Revels. He was in bad shape, apparently he had failed to retrieve the desired information, and had suffered greatly for it. He was passed out on the couch, and I was applying a cooling cloth to his head. Sure I could have simply charmed the cloth to do that itself, but I wanted to be the one to bring him relief.

He was dreaming and his face was twisted into a ghost of a smile. He started to mumble something, but I couldn't' make out what it was. Then he said it again, a name, as clear as day.

"Hermione."

The longing in his voice caused my heart to break a million times over for him. Burning tears streaked down my face and onto his wonderful nose. Why should he waste away, pining for a mere girl who would rather flit about with a Weasley, than be with him. I wanted to be the one he pined for, I wanted to be the one whose name he called out in dreams. I wanted to hear my name on the tip of his those elegant lips, hear his deep velvet voice bring life into those few syllables.

I wanted him, and tonight, I would have him.

It was all planned. Dumbledore had asked me to stay at the castle for a while to serve as extra protection for the students. I had happily agreed, taking any chance I had to be closer to him. Tonight, I would change myself into Hermione, and meet him in his bedchamber. I wouldn't be able to speak. He would easily recognize my voice and all would be lost.

Many would wonder why I love the man who has shown me nothing but cruelty. It is his bravery, spying for the Order and risking his life for the sake of the Light. It is his intelligence, his carefully crafted remarks, his cool demeanor, and his voice. Like silk sheets on newly shaved skin, like melted chocolate, dark velvet. His voice is powerful, one word from his mouth turning my knees to jelly and melting my heart. One word and I was his.

I made my way slowly to his dungeons, making sure that I wasn't spotted. Hermione was wandering somewhere around the castle, and it would not be good for her to walk around a corner and see herself.

It had taken me two hours to get my features just perfect. Her hair was the hardest, so bushy and thick and it took me the better part of forty minutes to get the perfect length. But in the end, it would be worth it. I had even put a charm on my voice to make it a tad closer to hers. At least now I would be able to speak a little bit. If I was completely quiet, he would get suspicious.

I came to his door and muttered the password. I had gotten it from the Marauders Map that I had borrowed from Harry. I had told him I she needed it to make sure no one suspicious was lurking about, and thankfully he had bought it.

I didn't take the time to take in her surroundings. Instead I hurried to where she knew he would be, his bedroom.

I cautiously opened the door, hoping not to disturb him, when the door was wrenched completely open and there he was, standing right in front of me, wand pointed at my head in nothing but his trousers. It seems I had caught him while he was changing.

He sneered at me, "What do you want Miss Granger?"

It took me a moment to register that he was talking to me. I quickly regained by composure, however. This was my one chance to have him, and I was not going to blow it. Instead of wasting my breath by answering him, I opted to have it taken away.

I kissed him.

At first he seemed hesitant and didn't respond, but upon my urging, he began kissing me back more passionately then I could have ever imagined. Before he had chance to reconsider, I pushed him back onto the bed and moved for his trousers. His hands began moving over me, and I felt as though his fingers were burning trails of fire along my chest.

I freed him of his trousers and he growled her name.

"Hermione."

It came from deep in his throat, her name, muttered against my lips. My heart broke and burning tears fell from my eyes, landing on his cheek.

He looked up at me, worry flashing through his eyes as he wiped the tears from my face with the back of his thumb.

"What is wrong, Hermione?"

That was it. I couldn't go through with this, not while he said her name. I slid off the bed and stood up next to it. I allowed myself to change back to my own image, and prepared myself for the storm ahead. He would be livid with me, trying to seduce him by appearing as another.

But the storm never came, there was no yell for me to leave, there was no slap across the cheek, and there was no harsh remark. There was only a smirk on his lips and a fire in his eyes.

He stood up and moved towards me, his hand resting on my chin and tilting my head so that our eyes met. "I knew it was you."

Shameful tears filled my eyes and flowed down my cheeks as he continued to wipe them away, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head and the ghost of a smile reappeared, "Don't be. Now why did you do that?"

"I wanted to have you for one night, I wanted to pretend that for one moment, one night, that I was the one you wanted."

I couldn't see much though the tears, but it looked as though he were smirking, "I believe we could arrange that, Tonks."

My name. He had said my name! I couldn't help but smile, but then I remembered what he had just said. I didn't get a chance to ask him though, his lips cut me off. His hands resumed their exploration of my body, taking my robes with them.

It didn't matter to me who he thought I was. It didn't matter that this would only last for one night. It didn't matter that he didn't return my love. For tonight we would pretend. I would pretend he truly loved me, and he would pretend that I was what he wanted.

The moment I heard him groan with my name on his lips, I realized. I would do anything for him.