The first day we met I thought nothing could
Ever make you smile.
I had to impress you.
So it was like my mission to make you smile,
And every time you did, it was a job well done for me
So I stayed, mainly for research
But then it changed.
I had this thing for you.
I don't know what it was before.
But then 'guys' came along,
And I realized what it was,
LOVE
I was jealous at those guys.
I wish it was me.
I was coward for not admiting it.
I finally did when you got shot.
I was so guily about it
I wish I was the one at your place
Every night I dreamed of you in a pool of your own blood, laying cold and deathly still.
You always die in my dream.
I always cry at night wondering why I ever opened your mother's case
You got shot, and it was all because of me.
I wondered if you ever heard me.
I don't know how you'll react.
You told me you blacked out, and never heard or saw the rest of what happened
But then I heard you from the observation room.
You said you remember.
I was so angry!
I could handle the truth.
I just couldn't bear with all the lies.
I asked you alot of times,
But you still lied
So I didn't joke around anymore.
Didn't bother to smile.
Never talked about innapropriate things.
I would admit I was not myself.
I just had to get you out of my head..
Because you don't feel the same way
Then you told me you were finally where you want to be,
And you told me you want me to be there,
And I was until the day when your mother's murder was reopened.
I told you the truth,
And yet you still let your anger interfere with your heart
So I left.
I don't want to sit around in a corner to just watch you die in the process of investigating your mother's murder.
Of course I want to find justice.
But I don't want you to die while doing it.
You knocked at my door.
And I was surprised to see you there.
I was even more surprised when you kissed me.
But I had to push you back to know what happened.
You told me he got away, and you didn't care.
You almost died,
And all you could think about was me.
After that night,
That changed both of our lives.
Date nights every friday.
Stolen kisses across the table.
We were like teenagers to other peoples eyes.
Acting all lovey dovey in public.
But we didn't care.
We were just fools in love.

Years passed.
And I finally had the perfect time to propose to you.
I remembered you were crying.
And saying it's about time!
I had to laugh on that one.

It's finally the day we've been waiting for.
When I finally saw you walking down the aisle.
I was mesmerized by your beauty.
You're simply stunning.
After minutes passed we finally get to say 'I do'.
And you're finally Mrs. Castle.

Years, and years passed.
We grew old, we watch our children grow,
And have families of their own.
We were the only ones, who were living in the loft.
Every night we recalled all the things that happend to us.
How we ended up being in love with each other.
The things that made us laugh, and cry.
It was memories
And it was well cherished.

One night you told me that you think.
Somethings going to happen to you.
I told you please don't say that.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
You told me just in case.
You told me how much you loved me,
How much you loved the kids.
How thankful you are for people like Lanie, Jenny,
Javi, and Kevin.
I kissed you passionately for us to remember it forever.

The next morning I tried to wake you up
But you just layed still. I held your body against mine
And just sobbed. I always cry at night. I never even tried to hold it,
Because I know It'll only burst out.
Every single morning, I always look at your side of the bed, hoping you'll still be there.
Things will never be the same again.
But I know one thing that'll stay the same.
My love for you.

I wish we had one more day to be together.
One more night to be wraped around each others arms.
One more date.
One more kiss.
I know nothing could ever bring you back.
I will always think of you.
Every second of every minute.
Every minute of every hour.
Every hour of everyday.
Everyday of every week.
Every week of every month.
Every month of every year
I'll always cry at the things that remind me of you.
I know me crying.
Such a girl.
I wish we had more life times together.
I just wish.

Fifteen years ago, I never thought you'd be mine.
You completely changed my life,
And I was happy ever since.
I love you Katherine Beckett
Always