Confessions of the Heartless
People say that once you're a demon, you're considered heartless. I ask myself if I am indeed heartless, I still don't know the answer. Chaos, destruction and deaths I've been there, but really, does that make me heartless?
Every life I take seemed so ordinary to me, is that why people perceive me as heartless? Is not crying in funerals making me heartless? Is it the very life I live makes me heartless? I don't know…
I don't know what I am, nor care what they say, as long as I live, then that's okay. But this boy, whose lying in front of me now doesn't care a damn about the world, is he called heartless like I'm called?
But he's not, how odd…
Indeed I was fascinated with this boy I live with, I serve well with my whole loyalty upon him, and strangely enough, I want him safe always, what could this feeling mean? Am I still heartless? Whispers tell me to sink my teeth on his heart yet I do not listen to them like I always do, should I have obeyed instead?
When he decided to end his life, I saved him from doing it, why?
On his final hour, he sat with his eyes staring at me, darkened with hatred, ordering me to carve the pain in his soul, odd; humans suppose to beg for their lives, do they not? But still, the feeling inside me says that I don't want to kill this boy. Why?
Is this called love?
He told me things, seen him suffer, and wished deeply for his life to end. I still don't understand this boy I seemed to love. He calls me cold, but I gave him all my warmth. He calls me heartless, but I loved him. He calls me safety, but I gave him his death.
How odd this little boy has become…and how he has changed me with his fragile heart I still yearn to keep it beating. He whispered to me when I finally asked him if I was heartless…
He answered.
You are heartless and you will forever be…
You are heartless to those who were against me
You are heartless to the evil that threatens to consume me
You are heartless to all the fears I have at night
You are heartless, and that's why I value you…
As his last word left him, he ceased breathing. I stood, hoping that the boy was just asleep. He wasn't, and I know it full well since I have done it on him. He is dead, forever away from me. The little blessing I claimed as my own. Gone. I am alone again. Something fell from my eye. It was cold and salty. The liquid that people call tears. Why cry over a human?
I finally know to answer this question…
I know why I was crying…
The little boy I claimed as my heart is now gone forever, now I am heartless once more…