Authors note: Hey Guys this had been rotting in my computer for a while so I decided the hell with it and uploaded it and I hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or Paul....*pout*
I happily jumped, well more of fell, and out of the horrible car I have been stuck in for over eight hours and stretched my aching and tired legs. Ugh. I hate that stupid car. Okay, maybe the car isn't that bad, but the people in it are definitely what I hate. Plus being stuck in it for countless hours with a stupid comedy station on the satellite radio the whole way, with Renee and Phil smoking with the windows barely down so I was basically choking on smoke in the back, oh and don't forget how they had the air conditioner blasted the coldest it would get the whole way and I was in shorts and a tank top for crying out loud! And I'm always cold anyways, so I was extra cold. Talk about an unpleasant trip. Taking a deep breath of hot mid-afternoon air while I stood there taking everything in. It felt great to be back in Forks. I was home. Even though I live in Florida, Forks and La Push are my real home. I feel like I completely belong here, you know. Florida is too hot and humid for my taste. My hair would frizz and stick to the back of my neck all the time, and it just felt way gross. Oh, and don't forget all of the pollution. You could actually see the dirt and gunk in the air. Yuck! And being stuck with the queen bitch herself and her new husband, the one person I hate the most in this world, Phil.
" Isabella we…" My mom says so I just tune her out so I can't hear her and start singing a song in my head. It may make me seem a little rude, but my mother and I don't get along really well. I actually, I hate them both. I really wish they would drop dead. I know humming along won't make anything change, but its better than yelling at her, it's better than getting into another one of our arguments. I can feel the tears welling in my eyes. I jump back into the car to sit and wait for them to get out of the gas station and to take me to my father's hoping they wouldn't be too long. Grabbing my iPod from the seat next to me I plop the ear buds in my ears and start playing random music. After a few minutes Phil and Renee get in with a dozen bags of junk food and chips. I swear they are going to become obese. I can hear them blabbing and lecturing me over my music and unfortunately my headphones suck balls so I can't hear my music because they are drowning out my music with their stupid voices.
"Phil gives me your freaking headphones." I snap. He rushes and hands me them, he looks a little pissed. Oh well, I really don't care.
"Isabella, don't snap at him that way, and why do you need his? You have your own." My mother scolded my through the rearview mirror.
"Whatever. And I need them because mine suck balls and you guys won't shut the hell up and stop bitching, so I can't hear my music dumb ass." I say emotionless.
That's how I always am. Emotionless. All the time. I open my notebook to the second page of my personal journal and aimlessly vent my feelings and that kind of thing to the piece of paper. I was always a good kid, but when mom married Phil, he blamed me for being a out of control teen, even though I was good, so after a while I gave up on being good and became exactly what he said I was. When mom married Phil my life turned into a living hell, no lie. I scribbled a couple more things on the page and slammed it shut just as we pull into my dad's driveway. Finally, I'm free from the heartless mother and her pussy ass evil husband. I jump out of the car before it stops and run into the house. It's empty. Laughing and sounds of people come from the backyard and I walk slowly to the kitchen and look out the old small window to the backyard. There's a bunch of people I don't know laughing and having fun while barbequing, like a normal family would. Looks like he forgot all about me. Again. I bet he didn't even miss me. Nope he was here with his happy little perfect family while I was stuck in hell and he didn't even care. He did not even try to fight for me when mom took me away. Nor did he ever even call on holidays, much less my birthday. Heck, he never called. Ever. A tear slid down my cheek and I angrily wiped it away. Mom and Phil stumbled in the front door with my huge suitcases. I need go to my place. The one place where I can just be. The place where I haven't been in years. My place. I push pass Renee and Phil and I'm running out the door, up the street, around the corner to the beach. Phil calls my name, but I don't shout back. Instead I keep running down the beach until I get to my secret place. I stop dead in my tracks and my body jolts forward when I spot someone on my swing. He looks a few years older than me and has light brown skin with jet black hair that's spiked. His muscles and hair are shining in the sunlight like he just got out of the ocean or something. Damn! He's hello hot. But his hotness didn't make me anger subside any. He looks a little familiar though. What is he doing in my spot? I stopped forward with sand flying everywhere, my hair flying, and my eyes set on him with my death glare that most grown men flinch from.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I say through clenched teeth. He looks at me slightly amused and a cocky gin place on his lips.
"I'm swinging." Smart ass!
"I mean on my swing dip shit!" I said putting my hands in thigh fists. I so want to kick the guy's ass right now. Can't I ever get away from everyone? No, apparently not. Besides, I didn't even know anyone else knew where this place is.
"I don't see your name on it." His comebacks with. Think again buddy.
"Oh yeah, look on the bottom?" He laughed and does as I asks and show me. Sure enough my name is still carved on the bottom of the old thing.
"See there's my name." Now it's my turn to smirk.
"I don't know what you're on, but this is my girlfriend's name." What? He has to be kidding me there my name right there that I put on their back in third grade. And last time I checked me as defiantly not his girlfriend.
"Oh? So what's this Bella look like? Maybe sometime I could meet her?" I decide to play along. He sat back down on MY swing. He stared off at something in the distance and looked sadden.
"She's beautiful. She has blonde hair. Brown eyes. Hello shot but fine as hell. Oh and she's the sweetest and kindest person ever. Totally unlike your bitchy ass." I listened impatiently as he described my younger self, when I was sixteen. But now I had dark brown hair that I colored a few months ago before I got my id, and a huge attitude and an anger problem that came with it. The old I died that day in Port Angeles two years ago. And I died even more when my so called mother married that stupid jackass Phil. I swear to god Phil is going to pay for all he has done. Mark my words! I would have done something by now, but he has allies. Allies that have kept me from doing what I want to do most, by using inhuman talents. That story's for another time though. And that little girl hasn't come back since. Wait a second is he? No he couldn't be. Although he looks a lot like him. But he's definitely not him, he's dead.
"Read and weep loser." I flicked my id at him and he looked it over and his face was truly priceless. I laughed as he looked shocked, happy and mortified as hell.
"Bella? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to be an ass I've missed you so freaking much. I just thought you were some crazy chick. They said… never mind." The guy rambled on pulling me into a hug. I flinched back at the touch and took a huge step back. He personally held a hurt look on his face.
"One doesn't ever, and I mean ever hug me again. Two what the hell are you doing on my swing? And lastly, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" I yelled loudly. It was his turn to flinch back.
"You don't remember me do you?" He asked quietly looking at me with a wired look.
" Nope. Should I?" I said casually, even though a sharp pain rose in my chest.
" It's me, Paul." He looked like I killed his puppy. Oh well. Who the hell does he think he is? Does he have a death wish? Does he think it's funny to act like my dead boyfriend? Maybe he's some other Paul I know. Nope. The only Paul I can remember is my ex-boyfriend from a few summers back that I have known since like pre-k, but he died a year ago. I remember that day clearly.
~Flashback~
"Oh my gosh that movie was so stupid." I giggled as I leaned into Paul's chest as we walked out of the movie theater.
"Girl is you crazy? It was freaking amazing!" He looked at me like I had fifty heads or something, but I could tell he was being totally sarcastic.
"Mum. Sure. You keep telling yourself that." I laughed.
" Hey, Stop right there!" A unknown voice yelled. Me and Paul both turned around and saw a older man, clearly drunk, holding a gun and aiming it straight at us. My heart literally stopped beating and panic flooded through every part of my body. I was completely frozen with fear.
"Bella run." Paul quietly whispered into my hair. I tried to listen to him, but I couldn't. It was like my feet were nailed to the street blacktop. It all happened all so quickly. The drunken guy fired the guy twice and hit Paul in the chest. I watched in fear as his body hit the ground hit the ground with a scary and loud thump. My body instantly became unfrozen but I became even more afraid.
"PAUL!" I yelled and dropped to the ground checking him over frantically seeing how bad his wounds were. Tears were streaming down my face like it was a damn that had busted.
" I told you not to move bitch." The guy said. It was the last thing I heard or remembered except for an anatomizing pain in my lower abdomen.
~End of flashback~
"Well, Paul GET THE HELL OFF MY SWING! AND WHAT KIND OF FUCKING SICK JOKE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PLAYING?" I yelled again. He jumped quickly off the swing and gave it to me like a servant would do for their queen. I laughed at the thought and sight of this big guy jumping around skittishly afraid of me. I sat on my swing, finally, and swayed a little getting lost in my thoughts. I was mentally crying my eyes out. He was sitting in the sand Indian style, which is kind of ironic since he looks like he's from the res and Indian. He sighed and looked down at the sand. I sounded and looked like he was crying. Why the hell would he be crying?
"Look I'm sorry if I scared you, okay?" I said. What the hell? I never apologize. Anyway, it's not my fault he gets scared by girls and cries. Ha.
" It's not that. I just thought-… Never mind. I'm sorry. My names P- Sam by the way. I'm Paul's brother." He said while wiping away tears. Oh, now it makes sense. But why would he pretend to be his dead brother. I just let it know the loss of his brother is enough.
"Oh. You shouldn't apologize. I'm the ones a total bitch. It's nice to meet you Sam, although Paul never talked about you." I said and I started to cry some right along with him,
"Yeah, well. You know we never really got along." He said after a few minutes.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"Why are you sorry?" He was clearly shocked. I just ignored his question and went through all the memories of Paul and I.
"I never told him, you know. I was going to. The next day. I was so scared but excited. Guess I was stupid, nothing good ever happens in my life. I'll never be happy." I said crying softly while looking at the ground with tears dropped onto the sand. I was mainly speaking to myself.
"What are you talking about?" He asked confused.
"I was pregnant." I whispered and completely broke down right there. When I was shot in the stomach, the baby was killed, the same day Paul died.
~Flashback~
I awoke in a strange room I have never seen before. It looked somewhat like a hospital room. Paul.
"Where's Paul? I have to make sure he's a right. Where am I?" I asked looking around seeing more clearly. The small room looked like it once was a bedroom. Okay, this is just plain freaky. What's going on?
"Isabella, it seems the baby was killed when you were shot in your lower abdomen. Also, Paul was killed honey. He's dead." My mom whispered, acting sad but I could tell she was pleased. She hated Paul. She didn't want me to have his kids.
"Liar! You're a stupid liar! You did this! You killed him and my baby! Admit it you stupid selfish piece of shit!" I screamed at her hysterical.
"Isabella calm down or we'll have to sedate you." My so called mother warned.
"Fuck you, you stupid bitch!" I screamed. Renee called someone into the room while I continued yelling and screaming. I froze for the second time seeing Pauls murdered enter the bedroom with a needle. I kicked and screamed while he tried to sedate me and put the needle in my arm. He got it into me after the fifth try and I unwillingly drifted to a deep slumber.
~End of Flashback~
Sam ran off somewhere down the beach. He was probably pissed at me. If I hadn't gone out on that date with Paul, both he and his child would still be alive. It's all my fault. No wonder he ran. No wonder my dad never even acknowledged me. No wonder my life is so screwed up. My life is a living hell and it's all my fault because I just had to see that damned movie. I begged and begged Paul to take me to that stupid movie, and finally he gave in. If only. If only, doesn't bring him and our unborn child back.
Beta note: Hey this is GothMisfitjazz and I will be betaing this story and future stories so please be kind I do forget some words... Also my cuz needs some idea's for this so please R&R