They weren't supposed to be together

"So how'd it go?" Albus was asked the minute he stepped out of the floo back at his own apartment. He had just returned from a fairly stressful dinner with his family, and had, for some reason, expected a little less pressure upon returning home. Apparently he had no such luck.

"How did what go?" The Potter's middle child responded innocently as he looked around in the hopes of catching the eye of his interrogator. Albus was always keen to prolong the agony for as long as he possibly could.

"Al!" Scorpius Malfoy was perched on the bay windowsill with his arms folded tightly across his chest. The room was poorly lit, Albus noticed only now, with just the light from the streetlamp outside illuminating the well-furnished area. However, Albus needed no light whatsoever in order to know the look of exasperation and loathing etched on the paler man's face.

"Oh crap yeah! I'm so sorry Score I completely forgot. I knew there was something!" If he hadn't known any better, Scorpius might actually have believed that. The words seemed to slip from the raven haired man's tongue so easily, his lying technique having been perfected over the years. He could fool anyone with his words, well, almost anyone. Not Scorpius, never Scorpius. The blonde gave a huff of contempt before he was marching his way out of the living room and through to the second bedroom.

"Wait- Score," Albus was hot on his heels, navigating his way through the darkness that his eyes had not yet adjusted to, "I'm really sorry I forgot, I-"

"Oh give me a break Albus," Scorpius snapped, not turning to look at him as he spoke, "I may be many things, but stupid is not one of them."

"I know, I-"

"You know I hate it when you lie to me," Scorpius knelt down, beginning to search for something beneath 'his' bed. Albus knew it was impossible to persuade the blonde when he was like this, he knew that he'd never get him to calm down or listen. Scorpius Malfoy only listened when Scorpius Malfoy decided it was time to listen, Albus shouldn't have been foolish enough to dispute this fact. But he was.

"I'm sorry. But-"

"I'm so sickof your sorry's. Enough! I don't want to have to listen to them anymore," Taking a break in his search, Scorpius drew himself up to his full height (about an inch shorter than Albus) and looked up into the younger boy's emerald eyes, "You promisedthis wouldn't happen again. You promised that you'd tell them." Albus didn't have a response to that one, he never did. After all, they had had this argument a shameful number of times before. "I'm tired of your stupid promises. That's all you are these days, insincere apologies and empty fucking promises!"

Scorpius turned away to continue his search, leaving Albus at a loss for words. What was he supposed to say now? Scorpius was right, of course he was right. So why didn't Albus do something about it? Why couldn't he fix it and take away the only thing that ever seemed to come between them, time and time again. At last, Scorpius pulled out a large duffel bag from beneath the bed and hurried to his wardrobe to pull out a few choice pieces of clothing.

"What are you doing?" Albus asked in shock, not wanting to hear the answer, fearing what he knew it must be.

The blonde haired man had to take a deep breath before responding, "I'm leaving."

"What? No. You can't," Albus reached out for the man's pale shoulder, but Scorpius shrugged him off quickly. Sure they had fought, they had argued about this on far too many occasions to keep count. Sure, Scorpius had said he would leave if they didn't sort it out, but Scorpius said a lot of things. He wasn't supposed to actually act on everything he said, he wasn't supposed to start packing up his things and what- leave? Forever? No. That wasn't supposed to happen at all.

"You didn't think I would, did you?" Scorpius whirled around so he was face to face with the brunette, his eyes were burning with so much rage and passion. He knew what Albus was thinking, knew that he hadn't anticipated this. Well maybe it was exactly what he needed, "Always said I'd leave you didn't I? Gave you fair warning."

"But you-" Albus tried to speak, but his small, worried voice was interrupted by Scorpius' own, as loud and sharp as ever.

"What? Didn't think I'd have the bottle? Thought you had me wrapped around your little finger?" Scorpius was snarling now, he knew that what he was saying wasn't wholly true, but he couldn't seem to stop himself now. Maybe that wasn't exactly the way Albus would be thinking about it, but he wasn't far off. Albus had always expected him to come running, to be the first to apologise, to do exactly as he said. And like a fool he had, for much too long. It was time to make a change.

"No it's not like th-"

"DON'T LIE TO ME! You thought that you could get away with your constant drone of 'I'm sorry' and 'I'll tell them next week' and 'Let's leave it until after Christmas'? Well you've been getting away with that for four years now Albus!" Not usually one to grow angry, Scorpius was quick to calm himself, beginning to stuff his clothes into the bag and leaving Albus to gather his thoughts. The younger of the two Potter sons opened his mouth several times to respond, but words seemed to fail him even as Scorpius made his way into the bathroom to pick up his toothbrush and hair products.

When the blonde returned, Albus had just about found his feet, "Scorpius please don't leave. Please you can't. It won't happen again. It won't. I promise." Scorpius laughed, there was that word again, 'promise'. It didn't seem to mean anything any more- not between the pair of them. The word had been used and abused much too often for it to carry any further weight. Enough was enough.

"You know Al, it was alright in sixth year when it was just a bit of this and that," Scorpius made a vague hand gesture, pausing in his packing once more to return his attentions to the distraught looking man in front of him, "And it was alright in seventh year when you told me that you loved me for the first time. You know it was even alright last year when we moved in together, but now I- I just can't hack it anymore."

"I know Score. I know and if you let me- just-" Albus wanted to explain the whole thing away, like he had done so many times before. But now, under this kind of anger Scorpius was portraying and the kind of pressure he felt just trying to convince the blonde to stay with him, Albus felt guiltier than ever. He had been wrong, he knew it and he had done all manner of selfish things anyway. He had hurt the man he was in love with out of fear. He was a coward and a liar, and he should be thoroughly ashamed of himself. And he was.

"What? You've said it too many times now Al," Despair now creeping into Scorpius' voice as he spoke, it was clear that the anger was dissipating, "I'll tell them tomorrow, I'll tell them next week. What was it you said this morning? I'll tell them at dinner? I'm not asking for a big revelation- I don't need for you to tell the whole world. A simple, 'Mum I'm gay,' would be a fine start."

"You know it's not as easy as that," Albus felt slightly ill as the words escaped his lips so effortlessly. He shouldn't be defending himself now, he should be begging for forgiveness, hoping and praying that he could somehow make this right.

"Of course I know it's not easy," Scorpius was trying not to melt, trying to remain strong, but his resolve seemed to be slipping now. It was growing ever closer to the moment when he'd have to take that final step, when he'd have to actually do what he had been threatening to do for the past however long. He was going to have to leave, actually go and never look back. Now Scorpius was unsure if he could keep his promise, "But your mother is one of the kindest, gentlest and most understanding women I have ever met. You know full well that she wouldn't bat an eyelid at-"

"I know Score. Really I do, and I've tried to tell her," Why was he defending himself? Why was he doing this? Albus couldn't help it, he needed Scorpius to understand, he needed for him to know that he wanted to keep his promises. He really had tried to tell his family, although in honesty he had probably not tried hard enough. Looking back on his actions was embarrassing, heartbreaking and he knew that he didn't deserve Scorpius. He had never deserved him, "But I open my mouth and nothing comes out. Honestly. It's so terrifying that I-"

"Stop it. Albus, stop it. This isn't fair," Why did he insist on making this difficult? Why couldn't the brunette just shut up and accept that maybe he was at fault just for once in his life? Scorpius wanted to forgive him, to give him another chance, with all of his heart he did. But it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair on himself, and it certainly wasn't fair on Albus.

"I'm sorry." It wasn't fair. Albus knew that he wasn't being fair, this had gone on for too long now, he had inflicted too much pain, "I'm sorry, just- just, please don't leave me."

"How dare you say that?" The anger, which had subsided earlier, was returning to Scorpius now in leaps and bounds.

"I-I'm sorry," Albus was quick to amend his statement, hearing the anger rising in Scorpius' voice; the very last thing he wanted to do right now was make things any worse than they already were. By now, he was having a great deal of trouble controlling himself, tears starting to etch a path down his glowing red cheeks.

"I'm not leaving youAlbus, no. You left me," Scorpius needed Albus to understand this, if nothing else. He was not about to take the whole blame for this situation, he'd never be able to forgive himself if he did, "I- I gave you that choice and you made your own decision. My leaving tonight has everything to do with the decision you've made."

"No, please. I'll do-" Albus forced away the tears, he was a man damn it, a man.

"And it is partly my fault, because I gave you that choice," Scorpius looked away from him now, unable to watch the pain he was causing develop any further. For no matter what he said, Scorpius knew that leaving would be his choice in the end, it would be ultimately down to him, his fault, "I took a risk and it didn't pay off. You- you didn't pick me Al. And I really thought you would." It was true, Scorpius had thought that he would mean more to Albus than his reputation. He hadn't honestly believed that Albus was ashamed of him, not until now.

"But that's ok," Scorpius' voice sounded as broken as ever now as he too set his jaw in an attempt to hold back any visible signs of emotion. It seemed the pair were holding their breath, a long silence creeping between them awkwardly. In the void, neither of them dared look at the other, neither of them could even think coherently. Emptiness was the feeling they seemed to share, and it wasn't until Scorpius broke the silence that their eyes met once more.

"No, you know what, it's notok!" He wasn't angry now, but there was finality to his tone that Albus didn't often here from the blonde, "Because it really fucking hurts. But- but feeling ashamed and guilty and- and dirtyevery time you push me away in public, or send me one of your looks, or- or churn out one of your brothers favourite queer jokes... that hurts a hell of a lot more." That's what this was about, it's what their problems had always been about. Albus was ashamed, he didn't think people would accept him being gay, and even if they had, he knew he could never be seen publicly with a Malfoy without causing a media boom.

Not daring to speak, Albus looked down in shame. He didn't want Scorpius to be right, he didn't want to admit that he cared far too much about what other people thought, and not enough about those who he cared about the most. What was the old saying? Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind? Why did he never seem able to put those wise words into practice?

"But I do understand," Scorpius went on, and as he did so, Albus' gaze slowly returned to recapture his own, so much non verbal communication taking place between their eyes alone, "I embarrass you, you're ashamed of me."

"I-" Albus couldn't find the words to protest.

"And rightfully so. I wish I didn't but- you know, I always knew that you were too good for me," the briefest of sad smiles brushed over Scorpius' lips, escaping with the sound of his voice. "I'd just hoped that you'd never realise it." They weren't supposed to be together. Scorpius had known that for as long as they had been together and had been attempting to deny it ever since. But it was time to wake up now, they had the rest of their lives to think about, and maybe they weren't best for each other after all.

"Score that's not true!" Albus collapsed into a seated position on the bed, his quaking legs no longer able to hold his weight. Why was Scorpius saying this? There was no way he could possibly believe that he wasn't good enough, surely? Albus was the one who should feel unworthy of him. He was bright and charming, everybody who got the chance to meet him fell in love with him almost instantly, he was impossible not to like. Albus could list the reasons Scorpius was spectacular for days and days, but he couldn't think of any reasons why he himself would be worth five minutes of anyone's time, "Don't say that. I'm the one who- I don't deserve you. P-Please."

"Shhh," Although soothing, Scorpius' voice was shaking, this whole thing was so unbearable that he didn't know if he could keep going, if he could go through with his plan. But the blonde knew that there was a lot he felt he needed to say, so he had better do it fast before he lost all of the nerve he had somehow managed to muster, "Now that you and I- now that we're- we're-" both of the men winced at Scorpius' following two words, "not together."

"No," Albus' voice had tuned down to a whisper, but the shaking power behind that one word was enough to force a lone tear down Scorpius' face. Why was this so damn hard?

Scorpius placed his hands on the bed either side of the taller man, kneeling on the floor so they were around the same height once more, "Let me finish," he spoke quickly to make sure he'd be able to get it all out, (he'd been thinking about this for a long time). He couldn't do this to himself anymore, living like this was pure self inflicted torture, but at least if he was away from the brunette he'd get a shot at something more, something that felt even half real. But it wasn't just that- it was so much more than about just Scorpius.

"Now that we're over," he spoke at barely a whisper, "there won't be anything to hold you back. Okay?" Albus needed to be happy too, that was always the main priority. Without Scorpius around to make him feel embarrassed and tied down and obligated, surely he would be able to get on with the life he was supposed to have, "You can find yourself a really nice girl. A girl you can be proud of!" Here he flashed another fleeting grin, trying to keep things as quick and light-hearted as was humanly possible, "And she'll love Quidditch like I never could, and you'll come home to good meals because she'll actually be able to cook," a crackly laugh escaped his lips here as he forced himself to go on, "and she'll make you happy. I- I just want you to be happy."

"Then please Score," Albus' voice was breaking uncontrollably, no longer having any hold over his emotions. He couldn't help but wonder if this was his last chance, if this was the last thing he'd ever get to say the man he loved more than he had even known possible, "please, don't leave me! I love you, I can't live without y-"

"Shhh," Scorpius whispered, their eyes locking together again as he forced himself to return the emerald eyed man's desperate gaze. He leaned in slowly so that their lips were almost touching and waited until Albus' eyes fluttered closed, before reaching behind him and laying a hand on his previously discarded duffel bag. Their lips brushing chastely, Albus heard a whispered, "I love you," before the crack of disapparition echoed about the room. Not daring to open his eyes, Albus knew that Scorpius was gone, that his whole world had just fallen apart, and there was nothing he could do about it.

a/n: I plan to make this into a chapter story- as I've already written out most of the future parts. However, I'd really love it if you'd read and review. Did you enjoy it? Would you like to see me continue the story? That is all- enjoy!