The mary-

Okay, so, this story is dedicated to all the nice people who reviewed my story "Obi-Wan's encounter with a mary-sue." This story would not exist without you. Thank you so much!

In this story, more sues have seem to have found the twilight ship and have ambushed not only the innocent Captain Rex and Commander Cody they found there, but Anakin skywalker, Mace Windu, Kit Fisto, and unsuspecting Obi-Wan Kenobi!! However, hope is not lost. Ahsoka has alerted Sergeant Roxanne of The Mary-Sue Pest control and she has arrived, but there are too many sues for even tough-as-nails Roxxie! She calls for backup, but the others are busy taking care of a mass attack in the LOTR fandom on the character Legolas!!
Can the MS pest control arrive to save them in time, or will the Jedi be at the mercy of badly written characters?? Find out in Star wars: The Sue wars!!

p.s. I will be adding in some comments here and there and they will be in bold.

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On the battleship Twilight, everything was quiet.

A little too quiet.

Everyone was recovering from an enormous battle in the Outer Rim that had lasted two days and for the Jedi Mace Windu, Kit Fisto, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, and all the clones, it was down time, a time for recovery and relaxation.

Or so they thought.

They had no idea that they were about to experience the most frightening event of their lives....a vicious, bloodthirsty attack from that enemy which is worse than the darkest Sith lord or the most horrible battle droid....fangirls.

In a deserted corner of the ship, right near the freshers, all was deadly silent. Then, suddenly-

Ssshhwwwwimmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!

The sound of a thousand angel's harps combined with the pitter-patter of beautiful rainbow-colored raindrops falling in a storm of heavenly glitter resounded in the corner as a vortex of glitter and sparkles opened!!!!!

Out tumbled three perfect, shaped-like-hourglass-bodied teenage girls, falling over each other in graceful, sexy coils of perfect smooth limbs and rainbow-neon whirlwinds of perfect hair.

"Oooph!!" said the tallest one in a surprised, melodic voice.
She had long golden hair like sunshine with strands of pink and watermelon-green that flowed to her waist like a perfect waterfall that gushes pure love and beauty. She sat up in one ballerina-dancer movement, blinking her multicolored sparkly sky-blue eyes in surprise, her plump pink rose petal lips pursed, and smoothed down her aqua-colored mini-skirt that showed her long toned legs off to perfection and pulled her fishnet shirt down lower, revealing massive cleavage, even though she was skinny enough to be anorexic and weighed -2 pounds. (Isn't that the ideal American girl?) She wore high-heeled flip-flops and various dozens of glittery bracelets and chokers on her pale-princess skin.
Slung at her hip in a dragon-silver-metal belt that sparkled only in moonlight was a lightsaber with rare gems encrusted in the handle and blade in a shade of neon-pink that was so bright that it temporarily blinded her enemies, enabling her to cut them down with ease!! (Plus, though this was not mentioned, it emanated hypnotic waves to any male in the area, brainwashing them to-OH NOES!!!- fall madly and irrevocably in love with her!!!)

"Hey!" the second one protested in a voice people on American Idol would kill for.
Her hair was in a shimmery shade of bright blue that was the color that ocean waves just never are. (What? the ocean is gray and green? Nonsense!! everyone knows that water must be unnaturally blue!! That's how it is in commercials, isn't it? So it must be applied to real life! ) It fell to her knees in a shivery, glossy mass. Her eyes were neon-emerald green and they glowed in the dark, btw. Her skin was a smooth cocoa sheen with absolutely NO flaws whatsoever. (Flaws? what are those?)
She had dark, beautiful demon wings sprouting out the conveniently backless green strapless tank top that ended directly below her full breasts, exposing her smooth stomach and rainbow navel ring that changed color in the light according to her moods. On her bottom half, the girl wore the shortest of jean cut-offs, that should really be called a thong made of denim, neon-green fishnet stockings, and black combat boots that magically made her dance like a pro to help her with her only flaw, which was clumsiness. (SO original, right)
A lightsaber hung by her side. It was, unfortunately, boring old blue, but with a kick thrown in: it had silver sparkly mist hanging in it's glow and when she swung it professionally (like, better-than-Master-Yoda-professionally) instead of the old vmm-vmm sound, the latest pop music came burbling out, coinciding with her dance-boots!

"Aack!" squeaked the third in a voice of gold. (wtf?) Her hair was bright candy-pink and tied up in two adorable pigtails with silky ends. (I am loving the hair, no?) Her eyes were huge and catlike in a shade of bright glimmery orange just like the autumn leaves that fall from the trees in Perfect Land. her skin could change color just like a chameleon depending on her mood and was of course, without flaws. She moved in cute little kitten dance-movements and wore a bright pink lacy dress that stopped below her underwear that managed to somehow show all her glasslike curves and big boobs. Her shoes were ballerina stilletos that she could run in, because, of course, she was magic. She had feathery little angel wings and a Lightsaber with silvery bells that played the music of angels with their tinkles attached to the bottom and a blade of golden heavenly sunshine-yellow that flashed shades of all colors in rays whenever she used it hung by her hip.
(Whew! That's a lot of adjectives!!)

The three girls stood up and looked at each other in glee.

"We did it! We're in Star Wars!" sang the pink-haired baby doll.

"We actually made it!! OMG KAWAII DESU DESU!!" trilled the blue-haired mermaid. (It seems like all the Mary Sues know this, doesn't it?)

"Shh!" hissed the blond, who seemed to be the leader, "we don't want them to hear us! we'll lose the element of surprise!"

(Just as a side note, I know that Mary sues have a special language of their own comprised of squeals and text-slang and bad grammar and such, but sadly, as I am not knowledgeable in this area of Suenessicity, I am just going to have them speak normally, or at least, as normally as a Sue can speak. Sorry for the inconvenience.)

"Sorry", the blue mermaid whispered, "but I'm just so excited!! At last, our sister Layla Odelia will have her revenge!!"

"Quiet!" Blondie hissed, "Now remember the plan: Go through the ship and attack any male we find. Transfix them with our feminine charms! Take over the plotline and warp it so much that those damned MS slayers will HAVE to notice!"

"But", snickered the mermaid-girl, "with the mass fangirl attack in Lord Of The Rings on Legolas, the crew will have their hands full! So they'll have to send the rookie..."

"Sergeant Maxine!" snarled Babydoll. "That bitch won't know what hit her when she comes!"

"Don't forget", said Blondie, "The instant Sergeant Bitch comes, we unleash the secret weapon!!"

"Yes!! She'll be obliterated!!" laughed the other two, "And we will prevail!!!"

Blondie smirked gorgeously. "C'mon, then", she ordered, "let's get moving!"

The three moved into the central hall of the ship, leaving trails of glitter and rainbows behind them as they went.

Coming the same way as the Sues were the two clones Captain Rex and Commander Cody, laughing and talking and they walked.

"Did you see that droid I slagged in the battle?" asked Rex, "He didn't know what hit 'em!"

"Yeah, that was a good shot", agreed Cody. The two clones were completely unaware of the horror about to hit them....

Mermaid-girl spotted the two and nudged her companions. "Look! First victims!!" The three sues smiled evilly and jumped gracefully into action.

Blondie sidled seductively in front of the two laughing clones and poised statuesquely before them. Cody and Rex fell silent and stared blankly at the tall blond, rather slutty-looking beauty before them.

"May we help you in some way,Ma'm?" Rex asked tentatively.

'Oooh, I hope so", the Blonde Slut purred. "You see, I'm General Obi-Wan Kenobi's new padawan. I've been transferred from a whole other star system just to come here to help with the battle."

"But as you can see", she continued, hugging herself pathetically, making her already-overly-obvious cleavage practically pop from her fishnet shirt, "I seem to be..."

"Lost", continued Baby Doll, slinking around the corner where she'd been waiting for her cue. Cody blinked; all the pink on the girl was extremely disconcerting.

She grinned and added: " I'm also lost. This ship is just so big", she shot a meaningful glance at the clones; they shared a confused look. (Oh silly clones! don't you know when a trio of Mary Sues are trying to seduce you?)

Pouting slightly at their reaction, Baby doll threw in a "I'm also Master Windu's new padawan. I was sent alllll the way from the far Outer Rim from the mystical planet of MagicUnicornitopia!"

Rex stared. "Um, I...don't think I've ever heard of that planet in the Outer-"

"Yes, yes, well it's a special planet", Baby Doll purred.

Just then, to complete the Trio of Skanks, out from the dark corner came Mermaid, slinking her slinkable-self over to the poor dumbstruck clones.

"Oh, " she sighed pathetically, her shiny blue eyes glimmering with unshed tears of fear, "It seems I'm lost too. If only someone would help me...poor Master Fisto won't get his padawan the way he requested for me..."

"And me", sighed Blondie, leaning forward, clasping her hands, and looking up at them supplicantly.

"Oh, me too!" Baby Doll bounced on the balls of her feet, her candy-pink pigtails and large breasts bobbing gently with her.

"Um..." Rex stared at the three skankilicious Sues gazing at him pleadingly. "Well....we can, um...show you were the Jedi are..they're just down this hall. If you need help finding-"

Suddenly, Blondie huffed impatiently and turned to the others, no longer helpless and sexy.(Well, she was still sexy, but not in the helpless oh-please-save-me-I'm-so-vulnerable-take-advantage-of-me way)

"Oh, this is getting nowhere!!" she snapped, flipping her hair in a wave of glitter and gold and rainbows.

"They're totally idiotic!!" agreed Baby Doll, pouting her strawberry lips.

Cody frowned and crossed his arms. "Hey, now that's just-"

"- I didn't want to have to do this", Blondie cut in, ignoring the clones while removing her lightsaber from her silver dragon-metal belt, " But we're running out of time and desperate measures must be taken."

"Now wait just a minute, Ma'am -"

Rex never got to finish his sentence, for at that moment, Blondie unleashed her lightsaber's blade and the neon-pink was so dazzlingly blinding that for several seconds, all Rex and Cody could do was try and shield their eyes from the glare.

Unfortunately, this was more than enough time for Blondie to act.

"KAWAII DESU DESU SPARKLE LOVE CHARM-CHAN!!!"

With a single graceful and powerful yet feminine swing, Blondie cut her lightsaber over the heads of the blinded clones, showering a cloud of pink glitter-dust onto their faces as she did so.

For this powder was no ordinary glitter dust!! (is there any normal glitter-dust?) This glitter dust contained a powerful love spell that made any male unfortunate enough to inhale it fall so deeply and passionately in love with the first female he sees that it scrambles his mind waves so that she is the only thing that their minds can comprehend!! And oh no!! Poor Rex and Cody had inhaled over three gallons of it!!

After Cody and Rex had coughed up all the glitter that had escaped down their throats, they looked both looked up at the smugly-smiling Sues angrily....and their jaws dropped at their utter beauty.

In the instant they saw the trio, all their training, all their memories of brothers and obeying orders and fighting in battle, all their jokes and laughs, all that was Rex and Cody instantly vanished in the face of these fair maidens before them. They were replaced with thoughts of love and adoration, sparkly eyes and shining hair, musical voices and heavenly smells. They just couldn't help it! Who could blame them? Standing right there were the most beautiful females in the entire universe!! Who needed a brain when you could have this instead?

Cody and Rex were rendered speechless and could do no more than stare stupidly at them like a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time, the three goddesses who were their own personal brand of heroin.... (Sorry, Stephanie Meyer! Stole your line there!)

"Thaaat's more like it", said Blondie, surveying the two lovestruck clones with satisfaction. She replaced her lightsaber and gestured to the other two. "Now c'mon! We have bigger fish to fry!"

As the Sues made their way around the corner, Cody and Rex trailing behind them like poor, sad leaves caught up in a whirlwind of glitter and perfume, Blondie snickered evilly, her voice resonating like silver windchimes.

"We'll get you this time, sergeant Roxanne...and your little friends too!!"

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Noooooo!!!! Not Rex and Cody!! Sergeant Roxanne, please hurry and save them from the Mary Sue brainwash...before it's too late!!!

So. Like it? Hate it? Review and tell me! This happened because of you, people! Let me know what you think!

P.S. I have done more studying on Mary Sues. Just yesterday, I read through the world's worst Mary Sue story ever: My Immortal. Even though I think my brain melted several times and I literally gagged at some parts, I managed to survive. The things I do for fanfiction...