A.N. This here crappy fic is dedicated to the amazing people at Realm of Tar Valon. (especially River and the Whites and my loverly near-sis, Mella -tacklehugs-). Yep, so, on with the fic!
Disclaimer: If I owned the Lord of the Rings movies, they would be waaay crappier and the Nazgul would ride around on stick-ponies wearing giant black sweatshirts. And the Ring wouldn't be gold, it would be plastic. And it would all take place in my backyard. And the mines of Moria would be under my deck. Anyway, since the Lord of the Rings movies aren't worth two pennies and some pocket lint, that means I don't own it.
The Real Gandalf
Gandalf the Gray walked down the hall with his friend and fellow wizard, Saruman the White. He was getting tired of hearing about how it was useless to stand up to Sauron and his army.
"How do you know all this?" He asked, his natural curiosity flaring up.
"I have my ways." He answered cryptically before going on to explain about seeing stones and spying on Sauron. Then, he even had the nerve to whip an ugly tan blanket off a stand to reveal the shiny black sphere sitting on top.
"That is very dangerous! Not all the seeing stones have been accounted for!" Gandalf said, pointing out the obvious. "You never know who might be watching!" Then Gandalf put the nasty-looking blanket back on. He would rather look at that thing than the Seeing Stone.
"The Nazgul have already crossed the river, disguised as riders in black" Saruman told him.
"I must help Frodo!" Gandalf said, turning to leave. Suddenly, the door slammed in his old bearded face. Turning again, he tried to escape through another door, not noticing for some odd reason that this is the work of Evil!Saruman. That door slammed as well. Then Gandalf faced a smirking Saruman and it finally hit him.
"You have sided with the Dark Lord!" he exclaimed, brandishing his staff toward the once-White wizard.
Still smirking, Saruman pointed his own staff at Gandalf's, making his fly away and hit a wall.
Suddenly, Gandalf decided to not hide himself anymore. He began to glow with a bright White light, and Saruman just looked on in confusion. Then, Gandalf's shape began to change, his back bending and arms turning into legs. When the light faded, a giant white tiger stepped out of Gandalf's shabby gray clothing, stalking toward Saruman.
"Back! Back, evil cat!" Saruman yelled, shaking his staff at the large feline that had suddenly appeared in his tower.
Then Gandalf leaped, mauling a screaming Saruman with his claws and teeth until he was nothing more than a heap on the ground. Surveying his work proudly, Gandalf the White Tiger turned around and stalked from the room, head held high.
A.N. so, yep. That's it. Aren't you so proud of me! If you didn't get it, that's not my fault. I blame the Government!
Review!
-hands out cookies and punch to the nice people who review, while using bouncers and Gandalf the White Tiger to keep away those that don't-