Hate Me by Blue October
Kikyo x Inuyasha
Inuyasha x Kagome
I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space
"Damnit Kikyo!" Inuyasha screamed. The hill top from which he called glisened in the moonlight; sparkling with the tears that had fallen, "Why won't you just leave! Why do you keep coming back?" She hurt everytime she saw them together. Even though he been with Kagome almost a year, he still saw her everyday. Her image haunted his mind; but he knew, with a heavy heart, that she was the one hurting.
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.
Ever since he had gotten together with Kagome, he found many things that he had never experienced with Kikyo. The joys of unfobidden love, sex, and the feeling of knowing that you belong. Kikyo had originally died before they had experienced any of those things; and with Kikyo's presence in his life again, he now saw that it was tearing her apart even when she didn't have to see them together. Kikyo had many callers now a days, but she rejected them all in hopes that they would be able to reunite someday and love as they had loved before her death.
I'm sober now for 3 whole months
It's one accomplishment that you helped me with.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again.
In my sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate.
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
He thought of the past from his perch on the hill; all the late night talks. Back then, he had thought only of becoming a youkai and nothing more, and even when the thought of forever beind half a man broke him and tears renched though his body, she kept with him. Everything he said to her, she'd taken to mind and tried to help with. "Damnit!" He cursed, breaking his footing and tumbling down the hill, "Damnit, damnit, damnit!" A fresh group of tears fell across his face. He'd left. Gone as far as he could from Kikyo… it had been almost a year since they had seen each other, and yet she never forgot him. Letters, presents on holidays… she always sent something, always loved him from afar, no matter how hard he tried to leave her behind, "Why can't you just leave and stop hurting yourself because of me!" The soft echo was all he heard in reply.
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.
Why hadn't it helped? Why did she still love him? He had hurt her, left her, made her cry, and yet she didn't hate him. She loved him just as much as she always had.
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "Make it go away!"
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"
The night he'd left to be with Kagome had been a hard night. They'd spoken for hours, and feelings stirred in his heart again. She had given herself to him, for the first and final time that night, and he hadn't been able to bring himself to deny her. The sun had risen again, and he still chose to leave. She cried. "How can you do this to me Inuyasha! I… I thought you loved me." She hadn't smiled once in the time she'd been back… but still, he cried out in pain as he had left.
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.
"…Goodbye Kikyo. Maybe someday. But only maybe. Until them… we won't be together. I won't leave Kagome. Not ever…"