Disclaimer: I sure hope I don't own Yugioh.
I threw all my standards and logic out the window for this one. Enjoy.
It occurred to Yami Bakura that he had never really screamed before outside of battle. Sure, he had cackled madly at his suffering opponents when the duels had finished, but he had never actually screamed about something which wasn't related to a holographic or magic induced screen of light.
And so began the morning of the 21st of April with Yami Bakura screaming about something he had caused, but not necessarily related to winning or losing a duel.
In fact, it was a far more trivial matter. He, Yami no Bakura, thief king of souls with a soul of a dark being, had expelled Ryou Bakura, his timid host, into oblivion. Or rather the oblivion he was familiar with- which was called the Shadow Realm.
Now, many things take place in the Shadow Realm. All sorts of things, but those things are rather oblique since they are obscured in the shadows of the shadowy Shadow Realm. And Yami Bakura had tried many times to call his host back to the living world with his own magic (which was of the same essence as the magic of the Shadow Realm actually) but to no avail. It seemed his host was at the mercy of the strange parallel world, the different dimension, the time space anomaly which was, of course- Walmart... no, actually it was the Shadow Realm. Walmart is a different parallel anomaly.
And so the thief screamed in his frustration.
Yami Bakura had been screaming for a good ten minutes until he found some sense to stop (actually, it was on account of his throat being as dried up as a mummy that he stopped) and resigned himself to contact the only person he thought would be of some help to him.
Of course, he had some options of who to contact. Seto Kaiba with his vast technologies surely wouldn't help (and didn't believe in magic for the most part anyway), calling Yuugi Mutou- Duel King extraordinaire would evoke the concern of his less than helpful friends (and the spirit was sure as hell he did not want to deal with the Pharaoh at the moment). Pegasus wasn't going to help him after the mustard and ketchup incident (or was it eye socket and millennium item incident?) and the endowed Mai would probably not know a thing about magic, even if it tied her up and sent her to the Shadow Realm...which it did, but anyway...
There was only one other option. He dialed.
"Hello? Malik Ishtar speaking." Came a voice over telephone static.
"Come over her now. I need your help with something." Yami Bakura spoke grumpily into the phone. He was glad his throat had recovered in such a short amount of time.
"Who is this?"
"Oh wait. Let me put you on the other line." And with that, Yami Bakura used his Millennium Ring to transport himself into the back door of his mind. The back door of his mind actually sounds pretty interesting, but it's only the place where Malik and Bakura had chatted when Ryou was in the hospital during Battle City. Ahhh...good times.
"Oh great. You're here." Said Yami Bakura, trying his best to sound as monotone as possible so he could hide his excitement about seeing Malik in his lavender shirt.
"Why did you do this?" Asked Malik, looking a bit annoyed, or maybe that was just how his face looked naturally.
Bakura spared no time in explaining himself. "You see, I was showing Ryou some shadow magic last night and-"
"No, I mean why did you use a phone when you could have contacted me this way in the first place?"
"Oh. Well umm..."Bakura thought for a while until he realized that thinking up an answer for such a question would not get his host back. "Anyway, as I was saying, Ryou seems to have disappeared into the Shadow Realm and I have no idea how to get him back."
"Did you try asking it?"
"Asking what?"
"The Shadow Realm." Malik said, more annoyed looking than he had been before. "Did you try asking the Shadow Realm if you could have your Ryou back?"
Yami Bakura knit his eye brows at such an inquiry. "Ask the Shadow Realm to give him back? Are you a fool! That doesn't work!"
"Of course it does. I got my Yami back by asking." Malik said, defending his logical thesis.
Yami Bakura crossed his arms. "I don't believe you. Show me."
And so Malik unveiled a small transparent person which seemed to be a smiling child at his side. Well, it was a child, but the child's smile was crooked, its eyes were wild and twitching and its hair was the hair of none other than Yami Marik.
Yami Bakura was shocked. "What the hell happened to him?" He feared for his host even more, seeing the bizarre shrinking effects of the Shadow Realm on even one of the most malicious of people.
"He was six years old during Battle City actually," said Malik looking down at his yami, "it's a bit more realistic this way. He's also a lot easier to take care of now."
"Long time no see Bakura," the child chuckled. He still had the voice of Yami Marik, which did not compliment his small body in the least.
"Fine," said Yami Bakura, knowing full well he had lost to Malik's theory, "come over to my apartment and you can help me with that."
He left before he heard Malik say, "Well, I'm in Egypt right now so that might take a while."
"So you're suggesting I should just ask the Shadow Realm?" Yami Bakura questioned a week later, standing face to face with Malik, who had, of course, taken his time reserving a plane trip to Japan.
"Yes. That is what I said." Malik agreed; a week later had done nothing to ease his annoyance.
"Okay then." Said Yami Bakura, concentrating on the task at hand, until he realized that in order to ask the Shadow Realm something he would have to go there, or at least summon it somehow.
Yami Bakura touched his Millennium Ring, as if tickling the magic in it. He enjoyed using it. "Right then." He clutched the Ring and used its dark powers to call up the shadows.
Anyone who's been to the Shadow Realm could tell you it's a rather ominous place. It's purple and black and rather dank like a cave and there's a chance you might come across some nasty flesh eating little creatures. Which isn't all that different from a cave actually.
Anyway, Yami Bakura found himself contemplating how to ask for his host back.
Meanwhile, Malik Ishtar, having witnessed Yami Bakura transport himself to the Shadow Realm, wondered why he had come all the way from Egypt when the yami could have done everything he had just did by himself anyway.
And so, Yami Bakura paced the Shadow Realm thinking of just how to ask the question. He also wondered what language to ask the question in, since he wasn't sure if the realm understood Modern Japanese as opposed to Ancient Egyptian. Or heck, even the King's English.
In the end, he decided to be simple about it. "Excuse me, but I think I have misplaced something in your vast orifices and I would very much like it back."
For a long time he watched the shadows shift from deep purple to black (hardly a difference at all), but ultimately nothing happened.
Then he heard a voice. "So you're looking for something, are you not?" It was a womanly voice, cocky and annoying.
"Yes, that is what I said." Yami Bakura felt demeaned at the voice's teasing nature.
It was a while longer of watching shadows shift that the yami received another reply from the disembodied voice. "So, just what is it that you're looking for?"
Curiosity got the better of him, however, and he prolonged the answer for some time. "Just who are you?" He wasn't really sure if the Shadow Realm had been created with a voice and on top of that an irritating voice. "Are you part of the Shadow Realm?"
"Well, not exactly." The woman answered. A glimmer came out of the darkness and Yami Bakura was staring at the form of the Dark Magician Girl. She seemed happy in a way that said 'I just met my secret admirer and he's oh so cute.' Of course, Yami Bakura didn't know what that looked like, so he just found her petulantly annoying.
"Have we met before?" She asked, her eyes sparkling cutely.
"No." The spirit answered although he remembered seeing the monster in the duel during the Battle City Semi Finals. He regretted he hadn't sent her to the graveyard when he had the chance.
"Are you sure?" She pestered more, but seeing the look on Yami Bakura's face, which wasn't a nice one to say the least, she decided to change the subject. "So just what is it that you're looking for?"
The thief was sure that he would scoff at himself for getting helped by the Dark Magician Girl of all monsters later, but he had a mission to complete. "I am looking for my host. I seem to have..." He cut off. He'd be damned if he admitted the error of his ways to her.
"Your host?" She questioned.
"Yes, I was wondering if you could bring him back to me." He tried to hold back his snarl.
"I guess I could. I can travel between dimensions after all. It's actually very fun since I can see places and things that don't even exist yet..."
"Yes, yes that's very fascinating," the spirit said in one breath, "now, would you be so kind as to locate my host and bring him back to me." Although he was asking for a favor he didn't like to reduce said favor to sugary sweetness. He said it as a command- like how he'd command one of his monsters to attack.
"Very well then. I guess I could help you." Yami Bakura mentally licked his lips, easy as pie. "I just need to know what he looks like so I can find him. Is he a duelist?"
Yami Bakura nodded, though he was more of a duelist than Ryou was. "He's Japanese. He's 17. His hair is similar to mine, but not exactly. His name is Ryou."
"Anything else?"
"No." Finally, he could stop talking to the annoying girl.
"Hmm… I think I know who you're talking about. Alright then, see you later. He'll be right back with you in the morning."
Getting out of the Shadow Realm was easy enough for Yami Bakura to do. He just climbed on the bodies of the duelist he had defeated in a Shadow Game. They complained about being stepped on but Yami Bakura didn't really notice their muffled screams of agony as he chuckled to himself. Getting Ryou back, in the end, had been easy.
"Welcome back," said a rather jet-lagged looking Malik when Yami Bakura returned to the apartment. Malik was sprawled out on the couch watching television. It looked like he had raided Ryou's cabinets and found snacks to munch on. To Yami Bakura's disappointment, he had also changed into a black shirt and long jeans.
"So it seems your brilliant idea worked," said the thief with sarcasm.
"When will he be back?" Asked Malik, apparently trying to take interest.
"She said by the morning."
"Who said?"
"The Dark Magician Girl, apparently."
"The Dark Magician Girl?"
"Yes her. Didn't you see her when you asked for Yami Marik?"
"Actually, I just called out his name and he came to me."
Yami Bakura clenched his fist. "Didn't you tell me to ask the Shadow Realm for Ryou? You didn't say to just simply call out his name."
"Both ways work though." Said Malik, obviously distracted by the television and his stolen snacks.
"What are you eating!" Yami Bakura fumed.
The question went unanswered as Malik munched on some more crackers.
There are many things that Yami Bakura had come to expect from physically sleeping and waking up in the morning. He didn't do it very often since he mostly rested in the Ring and because Ryou was the one that slept. However, when he did sleep in bed he expected the sun to blind his sleeping eyes, the sounds of traffic to wake him up and the grogginess which came with getting out of bed. Yes, he'd come to expect all of those things, which is why he didn't like to sleep at all, except for in the Ring. What the theif didn't expect to find was a strange man in his bed when he first opened his eyes.
And no, much to Yami Bakura's even deeper disappointment, that man wasn't Malik.
"Just who the hell are you?" The spirit lashed out at the young man in unholy-I-just-woke-up anger.
The young man, who was not Ryou Bakura, and as discussed not Malik and probably not someone Yami Bakura had ever met before, despite him being alive for 5000 years, grunted and rolled so as not to face the yami.
"Excuse me," Said the spirit, a bit louder this time and with all hints of morning tiredness almost gone,"I asked you a question."
The teen shifted, and slowly rolled over with a look in his eyes that even made Yami Bakura's blood cold. "And just who the hell are you?" The man said. From the looks of it, he was scowling, or he just looked like that naturally, or maybe it was a mixture of the two, thought the yami. Then he thought about something else because he only thought about revenge for long periods of time.
"Excuse me," Said the young man, a bit louder this time and with all hints of scowling scowlishness still very much present, "I asked you a question."
Well, Yami Bakura wasn't going to be put in his place just like that, he had to make it worse for himself. "I specifically asked you a question and here you went and blatantly refused the answering of it, thus leading me to use my shadow powers for the very worse possible cause aside from making muffins. I will now make cupcakes instead." And he proceeded to do so. And Malik later agreed that the cupcakes tasted quite good and that Yami Bakura should make them instead of muffins but-
Yami Bakura was kissing the floor with the stronger man above him with a rather satisfied look on his face. "Just who are you?" Came the snide remark.
"Fine," the yami growled, with the floor muffling his speech, "I'm- well..." And then it occurred to Yami Bakura that he didn't really refer to himself with a name except for words which would probably make the guy beat him more.
"Well..." The guy scowled.
"I really don't have much of a name, but just call me Yami Bakura." He really needed a better name. Yami Bakura was just too much to say and didn't sound very evil if you had no proper lessons in Japanese.
"What were you doing in my bed?"
At this Yami Bakura immediately pushed himself off the floor. "Look around." He said with a grimace. "This is my- well it's not really mine, but this sure as hell isn't your room."
And as the guy looked around he realized that it sure as hell wasn't his room because he sure as hell didn't decorate like his grandmother.
"Just where am I?"
"We are in my host's, Ryou Bakura's room, which is in Domino City." And Yami Bakura hoped the guy wouldn't ask anymore questions because he sure as hell didn't know anything else about this modern world. Instead, to make it easier on himself, he turned the tables, "Just who are you?"
The man, who had lost some of the anger (yet still had all of the glare), looked at him curiously, and, as if deciding that, hell, I'll go with that story, answered, "I am Ryou Marufuji."
And it was about that time the Yami Bakura slammed his head against the wall and thought of all the horrible things he would do the next time he saw the Dark Magician Girl.
After a rather awkward first meeting, Yami Bakura and Malik (who had been sleeping on the couch in the living room) found Ryou Marufuji to be an alright guy. Sure, he was no shadow magic user, but they could tell he was the kind of guy who could make others guys cry for their mama, and that's the kind of thing guys like Yami Bakura and Malik spent their weekends doing. Of course, that was no reason to not tie him up in a chair in fear of whatever their minds had to be fearful of.
"Actually he kind of reminds me of Kaiba." Malik went on. Apparently comparing one person to another person was a comforting outlet for the former multiple personality disorder victim.
"Whoever he reminds you of he's not Ryou, or the Ryou that I wanted, so we have to take him back!" Yami Bakura was unbelievably pissed at the moment. He had spent all that time trying to tie up Ryou Marufuji to the chair and Malik had done nothing but eat the rest of the crackers and work his way onto the popcorn.
"Who knows," Malik sighed as he munched on popcorn, "he could be fun to have around."
Meanwhile, Ryou Marufuji had decided to make his own conversation. "So if I heard everything correctly, I'm ten years in the past with some runner-ups from Battle City."
"It was the semi-finals! And he made me lose!" Yami Bakura took offense. Though he wasn't sure why. Duel Monsters wasn't exactly his forte, huge-ass tabletop RPGs were.
"And I might as well be second place!" It was Malik's turn to be mad, but the white haired one really didn't leave him a place to vent.
"Excuse me? When have you even dueled in person? It was all Yami Marik who was calling the shots during Battle City, or at least I think it was. I don't really remember because he sent me to the Shadow Realm."
This further infuriated Malik to the point that he stuffed a handful of popcorn into his face and exited the room, leaving Bakura alone with Ryou… only not the Ryou he actually wanted to be alone with.
"Either this is some sort of freshmen prank or you guys are insane."
"I think the second option is more accurate."
"Feh."
"Feh."
It was rather fun to annoy this Ryou Marufuji. Like your own personal Seto Kaiba without the baggage or multi-million dollar company or security guards or identical secretaries who dyed their hair in neon lights. Oh yes. Yami Bakura threatened to show them his Diabound if they didn't let him on the roof of Kaiba Corp with an unconscious Mokuba.
Fun times…
"But really, you are ten years in your past," he assured the captive teen, "All things considered, this is 5000 years in my future."
Marufuji only rolled his eyes.
"What? Heard it all before? Well I could really care less." He took a seat across from the teen and leaned in, with all his casual spontaneous composure. "So, want to take over the world with us?"
Too bad Bakura wasn't talking to Hell Kaiser. This was Kaiser Ryou Marufuji, and not one for taking over worlds or using magic for inexplicable harm. At least not until the second or third season of GX anyway.
"No." Marufuji smiled deviously. "I'd like to defeat you in a duel first."
"Jeez. What is it with you guys and dueling? Can't we play some other game? How about-"
"Aren't you the Ryou Bakura from Battle City? If all you say is true then you went head to head with Yuugi Motou, the best duelist in the world. It would be an honor to challenge anybody who faced him." Alright, the spirit thought, this guy is waaaay crazier than me.
"Well… technically I'm not Ryou Bakura from Battle City but I am the one who dueled the Pharaoh- I mean Yuugi Motou- many times before."
"You dueled him before Battle City? When? What tactics did he use? What were the rules at the time?"
Yami Bakura dug for something in his ear with his pinky. "I have no idea actually. It was a long time ago and I haven't really thought about it since."
That seemed to piss off the other Ryou. "You haven't thought about it! A duel with a legend and you just blow it off so easily! That's it! I have to challenge you and teach you what it means to play with respect!"
"Respect?"
"It's what I specialize in."
"Like that card, Respect Play?"
"Duel me and find out."
And so Yami Ryou Bakura and Regular Ryou Marufuji found themselves in a duel and Malik found himself watching it. Battle City was long over and battling in the streets would probably not be a good idea. But battling on the rooftop was a different story.
It was the middle of the game and Ryou Marufuji had just begun his turn. He had previously tributed Cyber Kirin so he wouldn't receive any damage when his Proto-Cyber Dragon was destroyed by Bakura's Earl of Demise. However, this left Ryou with no monsters. Not that it mattered because he drew Cyber Dragon anyway.
"I special summon one Cyber Dragon from my hand." Marufuji shouted.
"Heh heh Cyber Dragon." Malik giggled. Of course Yami Bakura had no idea what was so funny. And neither would most other people.
"And end my turn."
'Hmm. That's funny. He could have easily taken out my Earl of Demise with his Cyber Dragon.' Yami Bakura thought. 'Perhaps he's waiting for something.'
He looked at his hand. He had an Earthbound Spirit, Fearful Earthbound and maybe even an Earthbound God. Who knows. Could happen.
"I play one card face down and end my turn," Shouted Bakura to his opponent who gave him his renewed trademark smirk. Of course the card he played face down was Fearful Earthbound because it's a trap card. Kind of a nasty one too.
Marufuji began his turn a flourish. He drew Pot of Greed and drew two cards. Both of which happened to be- you guessed it- Cyber Dragons. He then polymerized the dragons together decimated Bakura's Dark Earl, reducing his life points to zero. And he didn't even get to play Fearful Earthbound because it wouldn't have mattered anyway.
"Now do you see Bakura, the kind of respect I was talking about."
Now, Yami Bakura could have come up with a smart comment like he always did, but in a way it wouldn't have mattered. Not with the utter confusion he was feeling at the moment at having lost a duel where no penalty was established. He felt an empty feeling at not seeing himself suffer at the hands of some dark being or an equally sick enigma. He had to hand it to himself though, penalties were the best part about this game.
"Yeah, sure."
From then on Yami Bakura treated Ryou Marufuji with the certain disdain attributed to an old woman who hated her son-in-law. In a word, sour.
Still, he allowed him to stay in the place that wasn't exactly his house and do whatever it was that kept him busy, but after two hours of long, drawn out silence (as Malik had fallen asleep on account of his jet lag) the boredom seemed to eat at the ancient spirit so that he could only follow the Marufuji boy's every move and find some way to mock and/or criticize it from a truly observant and silent perspective.
"Pfft." Was what Yami Bakura said when Marufuji took it upon himself to work out the kinks of Bakura's deck, substituting this magic card for that trap card and that trap card for a clearly male monster.
The spirit of the millennium ring also "feh'ed" when Marufuji challenged himself to a tabletop solo-game of duel monsters and discovered Bakura's new deck to be quite satisfactory in opposition to his own.
However, once the games were expired and the student had done everything he could have with decks and solidarite he began to pace around the apartment in a very scholarly and therefore cliched way.
"So this is Domino City in the past, correct?"
"Yes, that is what I have been saying since you got here, isn't it?"
"So Yuugi Mutou is still a high school student and not a pro in the leagues."
"I wasn't aware there were leagues."
"What?" The young man said it like it was the most illogical thing he ever heard, despite having been transported ten years in the past.
"Well, as far as I know there have only been tournaments and such. I mean, it's just a game."
"Just a game!"
It was true that Yami Bakura saw Duel Monsters the card game as just a means of brining about the end of the world. Of course, Diabound meant something a bit more to him, but on a whole the paper version, with all its complex rules and conundrums bored him. That and that fact that there was very little one could do to draw blood with a card game if one didn't have the proper supplies. And if one had the proper supplies in the first place, what need was there for a card game really. But then Bakura stopped himself there because all the internal thinking was making him very drowsy and not contributing much to his problem at hand.
"Yes, I am aware I said that and I don't need you to repeat it."
"You disgust me. A duelist like you has everything a duelist could possibly want. You've been in Battle City, you've challenged the best in the world, you even have some of the best cards and yet.." He could not bring himself to finish, which suited Bakura just fine because he hated reprimanding speeches of any kind, as he could not remember the last time he had been subjected to one and had a revelation forthwith.
"That's nice." The spirit yawned.
"Truly disgusting." The blue-haired young man muttered under his breath.
The Yami wondered how the real Ryou was doing.
Meanwhile, at Duel Academy...
A crowd of girls huddled around a young man on the beach.
"-and you really have no idea where you are?"
"How awful. Are you okay?"
"Can I get you anything?"
Back in Domino...
Needless Yami Bakura had to figure out a way to get his Ryou back.
"Why don't you just ask the Shadow Realm again?" Malik said from his spot on the couch. It was late in the afternoon and everyone was feeling pretty lethargic, what with the jet lag, and card games and trying to be less bored.
"That's what got us into this mess the first time." Bakura fired back. "If I go in there and ask again that dimwit, (and he was referring to the Dark Magician Girl in this case) will probably just make another mistake again."
"It probably wouldn't hurt to try though." Malik munched on some crackers.
At that moment they heard a door open and who should walk into the house but Ryou Marufuji. Bakura was quite surprised, not that he had just walked in, but that he had left in the first place.
"And just where have you been?" He asked, in the same way that a parent would scold their child who had been out too late.
"I just defeated Katsuya Jounouchi, Seto Kaiba and Yuugi Motou in duels." He said with a decisive grin.
Bakura and Marik laughed. "And just how did you manage that?"
"I asked them to duel me." The student said.
Of course, being so bored, the wheels weren't exactly turning in Bakura or Malik's heads. They could have asked Ryou to join their team and perhaps take over the world. But, seeing as they were so bored they only laughed and said, "Must have been the wimpy Yuugi."
"I have no idea what the two of you are talking about."
The ancient spirit sighed. This Ryou Marufuji was quite a pain to have around. Not only had he defeated the three people that Yami Bakura desperately wanted to defeat, but he was also quite a kill joy and did not know anything about Ancient Egyptian magic.
"Alright Marufuji come with me." He said, standing up.
"What?"
"Just come here" and as the spirit motioned Ryou Marufuji's vision was engulfed in shadows.
He came to a little while later surrounded by his classmates on a beach.
"Oh it was the weirdest thing," he could hear people saying, "One minute he was here and the next- poof! Now Marufuji's back."
Ryou Marufuji later decided that the whole experience had been one crazy dream and vowed to not work on duel strategies after 2:00 in the morning.
And so it was that Ryou Bakura was safely back in Domino the next day. He really didn't have an opinion of what had happened, only that he would have liked to stay on that beach for a few more hours. The girls had been so nice. He also wasn't quite sure what had happened to all the crackers and popcorn he had.
But the most bizarre after effect of his vacation made itself known as he listened to his friends talk about what they had done during their weekends. "It was the weirdest thing ever Yuugi. This guy shows up at my door and challenges me to a duel. And that's not the weirdest thing though- it's that he actually defeated me, and easily too."
"It happened to me too Jounouchi. He came into the gameshop and wouldn't leave until he played a game with the Pharaoh and I."
"Did he win?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Not you too Yuugi!" They heard a shout.
"Kaiba?"
"I've been looking for that Marufuji guy for the past day to challenge him to another duel." He said with his eyes narrowed.
Even Jounouchi seemed genuinely intrigued. "What'd you find?"
"An eight year old."
"But wait, that guy had to be at least eighteen."
"It doesn't make any sense." Said Kaiba in the usual gruff manner he said things.
Yuugi sighed. And it seemed like the three duelists made a pact to never speak of the mysterious duelist ever again. After all, it was bad for their publicity.
Ryou had the vague feeling that the spirit of the Millennium Ring would have celebrated at seeing his sworn enemies so flustered over something he had caused. And he would have been right except the spirit was currently detained with another task. It involved a trip to the shadow realm, the Dark Magician girl and an empty box of crackers. But that's another story.
I started this four years ago and finally, finally posted it on the right day. Yeah... Happy April 21st everybody!