The Pained, and the Small

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As she could have imagined, the King's eyes seemed to pass her by. Jealousy wanted to come, but rebelling passive thoughts cooled it before it even touched her heart. So again she hid in her darkness, and felt her Madness come in to comfort her again. 'Worry not,' it hissed, 'I will always be here for you.' Frightened by it, but too afraid to leave it, she settled for it. Better than nothing. Only when the light shone forcefully on her did she remove the dark robes and clothe herself in sunshine. It's uncomfortable warmth made her feel distressed and tense, an unwilling combination to let in. Unfortunately, her best of friends always seemed friends with the strange light, and all knew the King, which forced her into His presence. So many times she watched others come back to the King, and so many times she saw the joy on their faces that for a moment, a sliver of time that stretched on for what seemed like hours, did she want it. Then the comfort and chill of the darkness came into her soul, and it helped her out of the hot and clingy robes of light.

With Madness, came muttered conversations between one and the other.

Arguments, comfort, put downs, loving whispers of a love that was no longer there, all exchanged between the two. 'Why am I with you?' she had asked boldly at one time. Madness seemed to seethe at the question, but quickly recovered itself. Putting a charming grin of sharp fangs and gleaming k-nines, it wrapped its deathly cold hands around her waist and neck and hissed into her ear. 'I am here for you, my dear. You welcomed me to be you friend, and so here I am. Like any other loyal friend, I will always be with you, and never, ever let you go.' The words stuck with her. And any time she was caught thinking of some other friend, it was quick to point out downfalls that it promised only it could see. And so she lay on her bed, broken and weary, unwilling to hurt and change for the sake of keeping her pain locked inside. Besides, she was only small and unneeded in such a large kingdom. The King had many other lovely young women to stick by him like glue. What uses was she, the ugliest dark haired, pale faced, intruder that never came around to ask him of his love?

Little did she realize that the King did notice. Every time that she came around with the robe he had given her, he saw pain and darkness lick the bottoms of the robe. It didn't shine, but unwillingly flickered, and she was the darkest spot in the crowd of bright and shining robes. His eyes trailed after her as she left every time, wanting her to tell him her hurts and pains, even though he knew every one of them. He had waited and waited, for what seemed like an eternity until he could wait no longer, for fear, Madness would consume her and carry her away in the torrents of his lies.

She removed her clothing and crawled into the sheet less bed, staring at the ceiling as the darkness and coldness of Madness swept through her. Not wanting it to go on, she continued to stare at nothing. She didn't notice her body chill and go numb. She didn't notice her breathing slow and still. She didn't notice the darkness beginning to move, the shadows moving in for the kill. She just knew that only Madness was there for her and that there was nothing else to live for. And suddenly her sightless eyes saw a burst of color and a bright light. In his entire splendor, the King appeared in his wondrous silver robes, and called her name. Wait. Her name? He didn't know her name, did he? When he called again, this time in desperation, she felt a jolt of hope. And then Madness was there by her side. It stroked her palm and garbled. 'He can't know you name dearest. There are thousands of others that go by that same name.'

Her surge of hope dissipated the moment it said it. Turning her eyes from his glory, she allowed Madness to take her limp hand and lead her to the darkness she knew all too well. 'Halt you miserable spirit of Hades!' the King shouted. Madness stopped with much deliberation. 'Let go of her!' He commanded. Her hopes soared and she turned, hoping against all odds that he was going to save her. The King smiled and opened his arms. She looked around timidly. There was nobody in sight. Her eyes questioned, shining with tears. He nodded. 'Come to me, my love.' He whispered. Madness shrieked in rage, his hold on her slipped as she ran into the King's arms. 'Get back here you worthless cow! You're disgusting and no one could ever love you! I am your only friend! ME!' he howled. The King commanded the cold dark one to leave, and after cursing and spitting, it disappeared into a puff of dark blue smoke.

The King smiled tenderly at her. He touched her cheek and kissed her mouth. 'How I've missed you, love. Be mine, my love. I want you and always have.' Her heart's hard stonewalls crumbled and the true light from inside it poured fourth in a number of shaky emotions she had never felt before. The love in the King's eyes was for her. Just for her and nobody else. He removed her dark, damp and heavy robe, and took the special robe; the one made just for her, and draped it on her shoulders. 'I am yours, my King.' She whispered through the tears of joy that she cried.

The once small longing grew into a starved want and need for the King. He laughed joyously and took her lovely smiling face into his palms. She could feel scars on them and she took them. 'They're for you, my love. I gave myself to you long ago. I have waited so long to hear you say you would give yourself to me.' He said, looking into her blue eyes. His finger traced her face and the light that came about it spread throughout her entire being. She glowed beautifully in the King's light, and he took her hands. 'Come and meet my Father. I have told him all about you.'

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Author's Note: This was truly inspired by God. Believe it or not, I just sat down thinking about Him when I wrote it, and I was so lonely. If you read Captivating, you would really get what kind of relationship He wants with us as women. Thanks for reading! Godsspiker!