And now, ladies and gentleman, here's the host of our show…SAINT DANE!!
(Crowd cheers wildly as "Applause" sign lights up)
"Good afternoon everyone. I'm Saint Dane. Current ruler of Halla known by Figgis, Eugene, Mallos, Po Nassi, Harlow, Whitney Wilcox, and many other aliases. Today is a very special day. Anybody know why?"
(Crowd murmurs in confusion as "Why?" sign lights up)
"That's right! Today we're going to be making fresh tang patties marinated in Snigger."
(Crowd cheers, though confused, not knowing what these things are)
"First, we need the fresh tang! Nevva, bring in the fresh tang, please!"
(Crowd gasps as the tang is wrangled into the room)
"Now we just…ah! That's it! Now, once you've beheaded your tang, you just pick the part you want to cook and move on from there. I want you all to see this, so I'm going to use the leg."
(Several crowd members gag as the leg comes off)
"Ah, well…it appears tangs have quite a lot of blood, so we'll be right back!"
Having a rough day at work? Wish you could just make those pesky desk talkers disappear? Well now you can! All you need is your very own "Traveler" Ring, although you won't be doing the traveling! Just pay three easy payments of 19.95 for your Traveler Ring today!
(Crowd applauds as the show continues)
"And we're back, ladies and gentlemen. Now, once you've gotten your leg and cleaned up the mess, you put it in a well greased roasting pan. Place it in the oven and tell it to cook lightly for 25 minutes."
(Scratching noises as crowd take notes)
"After 25 minutes, take out your tang leg, then add the Snigger. The result will be this."
(Crowd oohs and aahs at the tang leg)
"And there you have it: a tang leg marinated in Snigger! Now, I hope you took notes, because you all have exactly 30 minutes to cook enough tang to feed a family of Denduron quigs. Good luck!"
(Crowd shrieks and panics as Saint Dane turns into a raven and flies away)
Thank you for watching "Cooking with Saint Dane"! Tune in next time to see the Master create "Fricassee Cloral Quigs"!