Love notes
i
Two weeks. Since two weeks they are dating and those two weeks have been the best and craziest two weeks of his entire life.
He loves her, there's no question to that. He loves her not just in that teenage way, but in a I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you kind of way.
They are currently sitting in Transfiguration, his favorite subject and he can't help but smile at her. She is sitting next to him and looks even more beautiful than the last time he has looked at her, two minutes before. He doesn't know how it's even possible for a girl to look more beautiful with every minute. He doesn't understand how she manages it, but she's really doing a perfect job.
Lily feels him staring at her and turns her head slightly and smiles sweetly at him.
Instantly his heart starts pounding erratically again and he feels like the world has stopped spinning.
When he catches his breath again, he looks for a parchment and his quill to write her a quick note.
You are still my strongest memory, whenever I close my eyes I see you clearly. Every time my heart just skips a beat, whenever you say my name. I need you with me.
He puts the note in front of her and she, after checking McGonagall isn't looking, reads his little love note and smiles happily at him, before taking his left hand under the table. Life is really good.
ii
Back in sixth year
Lily knew it wasn't quite right what she was doing, but she couldn't quite help it. After all, she had it done for the last five and a half years.
"C'mon, Evans, I haven't annoyed you for almost two months! I'm a good bloke, for Merlin's pants, just give me a chance."
"Potter," she snapped angrily, "I hate you, why don't you get that into your fat head? I don't like you, I don't want to go out with you nor give you a chance. Piss off already!"
Upon seeing his falling face and the pain in his eyes, she felt bad again. But just because he had been behaving like a human being these past few weeks didn't mean he had changed, right? He was still the same annoying toerag.
But nevertheless, there happened to be that little voice in her head that kept saying that she was just too scared to accept this new James Potter, who appeared to be mature, handsome and apparently head over heels in love with her.
When she came back into her dorm that evening, there was a folded note on her nightstand.
I am so nervous, I've thought for ages what to say, it doesn't matter anyway. You are so ruthless, let me pursue it. You come around and I fall in love.
She didn't have to think hard to know whose note that was. Lily couldn't help but think back to the morning and the pain in his hazel eyes when she'd rejected him yet again.
Maybe, just maybe, I'm going to give him a chance next time he asks, she thought.
The only problem was, he didn't ask again.
iii
They are laying outside under the tree near the lake. Lily has put her head on James' stomach and keeps playing with her hair, while their friends are enjoying their free time.
She likes it out here, being together with him and enjoying the spring. Birds are singing and fooling around and she can see some other students relaxing as well. Alice and Frank for example.
Spring fever seems to have taken over.
She sees her best friend snogging the living daylights out of the Longbottom boy and can't help, but pull on James' tie to make him kiss her.
Smirking in his sexy way, he obliges and meets her halfway.
Lily loses herself in him, her hands ruffling his messy hair and she can't bring herself to stop until she hears Sirius wolf whistling.
Satisfied, James grins down at her and she grins back.
A thought accrues suddenly in her head and she blurts it out before she can stop herself.
"When did you know you were really in love with me?"
His grin vanishes and he looks seriously at her.
"I can't exactly name the day, if that's what you're asking. When I first met you at the train in first year, I instantly knew I wanted to get to know you better.
In second year I noticed how beautiful your eyes were and your red silky hair seemed to cry for me to touch it.
In third year I figured, I wanted my first kiss to be with you because your lips were different than other girls'.
I guess, in fourth year I decided I wanted to experience all the firsts with you. First kiss, first love, first sex, and first fight as a couple.
And then, in fifth year, after the incident with Snape, I noticed how I wanted to protect you from every pain in the world and how I just wanted to wrap you into my arms and hold you until forever. I guess that's about the time I figured it wasn't just a normal crush I had on you."
Lily has tears in her eyes by now and can't help, but kiss him senseless.
"I love you so much," she whispers, "and you're right, this really isn't a normal crush."
When James Potter goes to bed this evening he finds a little note on his nightstand. He smiles, knowing only Lily can have placed it there and unfolds it.
I knew straight away on that day. I knew straight away
He instantly knows what she wants to tell him. That she knew as well, back then, on their first day. And somehow, her words make their love even more perfect.
iv
James figures, Sirius has been the crazy bloke who came up with the idea of singing karaoke during the party.
Gryffindor has won the big match against Slytherin again and the Marauders figured, it was time for another big house party.
They are all pretty drunk by now and Lily and James can't seem to keep their hands off each other. He is sitting on a couch, she's straddling his lap with her tongue right in his mouth. He looks quite delighted and doesn't seem to dislike their current activity.
Their passionate making out session is interrupted by Frank Longbottom, who calls them up on stage to sing some duet together.
They don't appear to be exactly excited to have to untangle themselves, but because everybody is shouting and whooing, if that's even a word (James doesn't know at this point anymore) they climb up the stage.
They are supposed to sing some strange duet which they both don't know anything about, but when the chorus begins again, they both shout it into the microphone.
You are still my strongest memory
Whenever I close my eyes I see you clearly
Every time my heart just skips a beat
Whenever you say my name
I need you with me.
They both laugh hysterically afterwards and snog again, because they are happy to finally be together.
She loves him and he loves her and there is no way around it.
v
They aren't exactly dating yet. They are both Heads and have become great friends, but he hasn't come around to ask her out again.
He's terrified of being rejected yet again and destroying their friendship which he values so very much.
She's terrified of him never asking again and having destroyed every possibility of her being happily ever after with him.
Alice tries to make her see that it's up to her now. After all, a boy can just take so much of rejection until it crushes him too much. Lily knows she is right, but she's way too terrified to ask him herself and find out he's long over her. But she knows she has to, because time is running out.
So she tries it, but fails. Every time she tries, her tongue gets tied and she just blushes adorably.
But since she is a really clever girl and a Gryffindor, she figures out another way.
So next time they're doing rounds together, she slips a note into his cloak, without him noticing.
You must admit it, you feel more different every day, but in such an exciting way. You are the man for me, me and you, meant to be. I would do anything for you.
He doesn't show any reaction all day and she feels terrible and hurt.
When they're doing rounds that night (she even considered not going because she was too afraid of being alone with him, but her Gryffindor spirit won again), he suddenly slips his hand into hers and she feels an overly excited jolt rocking her body.
When she looks up at him, he smiles that charming, heartbreaking smile and asks her the question she wanted him to ask since the better half of sixth year. And this time, it has a positive outcome.
vi
Back in first year
In his eleven years he had been living now, he had never ever shown any interest in girls. Usually girls were really annoying and just…yuck!
So when his new friend, Sirius something, had suggested to pull a prank on the redheaded girl, who was sitting with her back to them, he didn't consider his idea really long.
He had done some charms at home and knew how to make things fly.
"Wingardium Leviosa," he whispered and the cup of water in front of him started flying towards the redheaded girl.
Just before the water outpoured over her head, the girl turned around and looked at him.
James stopped right in his tracks and stared at her. She was…captivating…somehow, he couldn't point out how or why, but he just…
He suddenly really didn't want to prank her anymore.
Unfortunately, the cup was already tilting and he grasped the first thing he could reach (a chocolate frog out of his cloak) and threw it, hitting the cup and it outpoured its content over the girl's head who was sitting next to the redhead.
Meeting her gaze for one last time, James ran.
Back in seventh year
"You know, Lily, I knew straight away on that day," he says, gathering her up into his arms, "when I looked at you, you had my heart instantly and I knew my whole life was gonna change and focus on you."
She smiles and stands on her tiptoes, pressing her lips to his lovingly.
"I knew straight away", she agrees smiling.
vii
Back in the summer after sixth year
He sighed. How was he supposed to survive this summer? It had just begun, he was just one week back home and he couldn't stop thinking about her.
How the heck had he managed to survive all those summers before?
"Prongs, mate, you're making me crazy. Stop thinking about her, just for a minute, would you?", Sirius said sighing. He knew how much his friend was actually in love with the redhead and he knew all too well that she didn't seem to give him a second of her day.
James sighed and rubbed his eyes. "You know I can't. It's not even July, how am I supposed to do this until September?"
Sirius sat down next his friend of his bed. "Look, I know it's hard, alright, but it's not healthy. You've got to stop moping over here, mate. As depressing as it is, there's nothing going to change. She just doesn't like you, as incomprehensible as it is."
James thought about that for a minute, then turned to look at Sirius. "Don't you think that she…I don't know…kinda behaved differently those last few weeks?"
Sirius nodded. "Yes, I do think that, but I guess it's just because you stopped asking her out after the incident in spring."
Sighing sadly, James agreed. Yes, he was right, that was probably the whole reason.
"Prongs, you should stop getting your hopes up. It will just hurt more every time she disappoints you yet again."
"I guess you're right. It just…hurts so much, you know?"
Instead of answering, Sirius put his arm around his friend's shoulder.
Before going to bed, James decided to write her at least one little note before fighting to think about her the rest of the summer.
Lily Evans woke because of an owl hitting her window. Jumping out of bed, she quickly opened it and loosened the message on the owl's leg.
You are still my strongest memory. Whenever I close my eyes, I see you clearly.
She stared down at the note in her hands and didn't realize she was crying until the first tears dropped on the parchment and made the ink become blurred.
viii
"But Lily! We're only going to get on yearbook in our entire life. And no matter what you think, we are the greatest couple of this school. We really should get rewarded for this in our yearbook."
Lily rolled her eyes. She loved James, that was long out of question, but he could be such a child sometimes.
"And what do you want to do about it?", she asked, "the committee is gonna choose who's gonna be such the couple."
"Well, they just need a really exciting picture of us and they won't be able to help themselves," he said excitedly.
Lily laughed out loud at that. "Yeah, right. You're such a git sometimes."
A whole week he dragged her everywhere where he saw any flashlight of a camera.
Lily was so exasperated by the end of the week that she refused to get out of her room anymore.
Three weeks later, a month before their exams, the yearbook came out and James opened it excitedly, looking for his and Lily's picture, only to get disappointed upon seeing a picture of Alice Prewett and Frank Longbottom under the headline of the greatest couple.
Cheerlessly, he turned around to see Lily smiling at him and handing him a small package.
A hint of a smile started to creep on his face as he opened his present.
It was a picture of the two of them and Lily had written a few words on the frame.
Every time my heart just skips a beat, whenever you say my name. I need you with me.
Grinning widely, he leaned over and kissed her.
"I love you," they both said and James figured it didn't matter if others saw how happy they were. It was just important that they were so much in love, after all.
ix
It has been a really long day. He is happy when he finally appears in front of his house. He notices that the light is still on, meaning that Lily is still awake, probably trying to get Harry to sleep.
He knows he isn't there for them enough, especially now that Harry gets teeth and cries every night as long as he can until he falls asleep, long after his sleeping hour.
He knows Lily is exhausted and so he decides to help her out.
James quickly enters his house, climbing up the stairs to Harry's room, where Lily sways, Harry gently rocking. He wants to enter the room, but stops when he notices that Lily is singing quietly.
"You are still my strongest memory
Whenever I close my eyes, I see you clearly.
Every time my heart just skips a beat.
Whenever you say my name,
I need you with me."
His heart skips a beat when he hears her singing their song. The song they sung together, drunk, on the party after Gryffindor beat Slytherin.
He just loves his little family so much and values every moment he has with them, the war always in the back of his mind.
James walks over to them and Lily beams when she finally notices him.
He presses his lips to the now sleeping boy's forehead, before he allows his wife to put their son into his crib.
They watch the small baby for another moment, before James takes Lily's hand and pulls her into a tight embrace.
"I love you," he whispers as she nuzzles her face into his neck.
"Forever, " she murmurs and kisses him lovingly on his lips.