The Diary of a German Man
I'm not exactly sure about how I should go about this. I don't feel comfortable writing 'Dear Diary,' because I am a man and I don't particularly want a diary… This wasn't my idea. My dummkopf of a bruder Prussia made me do this. He said to start out writing what my day was like and all of my deepest darkest secrets and feelings in here, but I don't really want to. Maybe this is some way for him to read my thoughts… IF YOU ARE READING THIS GILBERT, I WILL BAN YOU FROM THE KITCHEN FOR A MONTH!
I realized that this sounds like I am a madman, but I assure you that I am not. I am a perfectly sane person, although sometimes I wonder about my fellow companions of the world. Italy, for instance, is such a weak and defenseless country; he runs when he sees a spider. He is only interested in pasta and women. Hmm… maybe I should bribe him to do well in training, and in return, I will make him pasta.
That boy is just like his grandfather, who I happened to meet one night… I was having a nightmare about those wretched cuckoo clocks to find an old man hovering over me, claiming to be Rome. I jumped up and threatened him with the gun that I had hidden under my pillow, and upon further inspection, I began to really believe that he was the great Roman Empire. But then, he began to ask me some very disgusting and… perverted things… Sick old man…
I suppose that I should sign off here… I am not sure how to do that, so… Abschied.
Ludwig Beilshmitd
How did I do? Review please, and I just might make a Chapter 2! :D