Chapter 1: Wishes never come true...
Disclaimer: Don't own victorious
Jade's POV
My hands gripping my blanket, my back facing the ceiling, my tears soaking my pillow. This is how it is every night, without him, without her. I am alone all I can do is cry, I am alone, hoping someone could help me. Deal, deal with these burning feelings. "Beck! Cat!" I scream into my pillow, but they are gone both of them. Cat's suicide kills me a little more each day. Knowing that it was my fault, makes me want to die. And, Beck's moving away has just left me here. I beg, I pray to God that if he could give Cat back to me, I will do better. And if Beck would just come back I would be a better person. Andre, Tori, Trina, and Robbie are still trying to deal with it themselves.
I know they won't help me I know I deserve this but why, why did the world have to take Cat away from me. If Cat was still here and only Beck was gone I would be a little better, but no I am empty now. I build up enough strength to go downstairs, outside. It's raining, raining like the one day me and Cat danced in the rain. And getting sick just to take care of each other the next day. I walk outside, not caring if I get sick I am already as sick as it is. I just stand there and let the rain wash down on me. My arms crossed, my head up, looking towards the sky. Maybe Cat's looking down at me "I miss you Cat!" I scream to the sky and just hope she can hear me.
"Jade, Jade get back inside, what is wrong with you" Tori is yelling, running towards me. "What are you, my mother, leave me alone" I growl. I know I said I needed help but this is the one that both Cat and Beck fell for, other than me. "I don't care if I am your mother or not" she screams and pushes me inside quickly before slamming the door. "Whatever, why are you here?" I ask angrily "I wanted to check up on you, Jade" she answers. And I jump up when I here care in her voice, in her words. "I don't need you to check up on me" I yell but all the anger is vanishing in my voice.
She cares, why does she care, about me? I am the one that killed Cat, painfully but I have to admit. I am the reason why Cat killed herself and everyone knows. So why would anyone care about me. Care about a monster that killed a innocent girl. Everyone loved Cat, everyone, even though they sometimes thought she was annoying or too childish. They still loved her, and now it's my fault she is gone. "Yes you do Jade, stop trying to push people away" she says to me calmly and too caring. "I'm sorry" I apologize, there is no use in fighting because there is no one or anything else to fight for. Everything is gone everything is empty.
"It's Ok, Jade" she whispers while putting her hand on my arm rubbing it softly, trying to comfort. I do need comfort, but I don't deserve it, at all. Everyone has always hated or feared me, now the have more of a reason to. I never mind being hated or feared as long as I had Cat and Beck. But now they are gone and I am weak without them. I stare at Tori's comforting hand and I just let it, comfort me. "No, Tori, go home I don't deserve anyone's care, especially not yours." I yell at her but she doesn't move her hand, she doesn't even flinch.
"Jade" she whispers walking closer and closer to me. "Jade, I don't care if you think you don't deserve my care, you have it." I just nod and she wraps her arms around me, hugging me. I hesitate a moment then I let tears fall again and I hug her back, tightly. Because I need this even if I don't deserve this, I need it. Even if it's from Tori I want it.