Flowers with Kisses
By Kristine
A/N: My first and last FFVII humor fic. This will probably be my last FFVII fanfic. I wrote this a long time ago. In 1998, to be precise. I bet you guys are glad to know that this will be my last fic in Final Fantasy. Anyway, I could care less what you guys think of this piece of junk. I'm no good with comedy, so this fic will be short.
(It was a typical day in Nibelheim. Cloud and Zack are skipping practice. They are sneaking out of class just to see Tifa and Aeris. Then Cloud spots a huge monster roaming around over the Mt. Nibel Mountains.)
CLOUD: Hey Zack, look! There's a strong monster beyond Mt. Nibel! That must be what Sephiroth was talking about!
ZACK: You're right! Let's go check it out!
CLOUD: Yeah! Let's rip its stupid head off!
ZACK: (Smiles) Let's go show Tifa and Aeris how strong we really are!
CLOUD: Good idea!
ZACK: What?! It's a BRILLIANT idea!!!
CLOUD: (Scratching his head) Sorry.
(Zack and Cloud runs to the Mt. Nibel when Sephiroth came.)
SEPHIROTH: Hey wait! Don't leave me here! I want to fight that monster too!
CLOUD: (Noticing Sephiroth) Ugh. He'll ruin our plan. Come on, we gotta ditch him!
ZACK: Yeah, just ignore him.
(Zack and Cloud runs away, leaving Sephiroth. Sephiroth stops from running after them and sits on the ground, crying.)
(Over on the other side…)
TIFA: Hey look, isn't that Sephiroth?
AERIS: Yeah, he seems upset.
TIFA: Poor guy.
AERIS: Let's go over there and cheer him up.
TIFA: Okay.
(They come to him.)
AERIS: Sephiroth, what's wrong?
TIFA: Why are you crying, Sephy?
SEPHIROTH: (Sniff) Zack and Cloud left (Sniff) me. I thought they were my friends (Sniff), but I guess I was wrong. (Sniff).
AERIS: Where did they go anyway?
TIFA: Yeah! They were supposed to meet us here!
SEPHIROTH: (Pointing over to the mountains) See that monster? They wanted to show off their skills.
TIFA: It's the Mt. Nibel Monster…
AERIS: (To Sephiroth) I can't believe they just left you here.
TIFA: So, they're gonna fight that nasty monster without you?
SEPHIROTH: (Nodding his head and wiping his tears away) Yeah… (Sniff)
AERIS: (Shaking her head, she takes out a flower and hands it to Sephiroth.) Here, Sephy. I was going to give this to Zack. But… after standing us up like that! Why he outta—.
TIFA: (She leans forward to Sephiroth and gives him a kiss on the cheek.) You deserved that better than Cloud.
SEPHIROTH: (Stops from crying, and smiles at the girls.) Thank you. I feel a lot better now. (Tifa's kiss formed a kiss mark on his cheek.)
TIFA: Aeris, let's go kick their butts!
AERIS: Make sure you use your Premium Heart!
TIFA: I am. What about you? Do you have your Princess Guard ready?
AERIS: Yeah!
(Tifa and Aeris found Cloud and Zack. The monster had defeated them. And they are lying flat on the ground.)
CLOUD: Ow! It was a lot stronger than I thought.
ZACK: It's been a while since we've been defeated.
CLOUD: (Noticing Aeris and Tifa) Hey Aeris, can you use Healing Wind to heal us?
ZACK: Aeris. Tifa… you're here to help us, right?
CLOUD: That monster was a lot stronger than Emerald and Ruby!
TIFA: (Laughing) You actually THINK that we came here to help you? Aren't you guys supposed to meet us ten minutes ago?!
CLOUD: Oh Tifa, come on, don't joke like that! We can explain…
AERIS: We are not joking!
ZACK: Aeris, you can't mean that.
(Just then, Sephiroth shows up. A flower had given to him by Aeris still in his hand. The kiss mark on his cheek is still visible.)
SEPHIROTH: You're not my friends anymore!
CLOUD: Sephiroth, I have an idea. Why don't you summon Super Nova to kill that monster.
SEPHIROTH: Hmph! I'd rather summon it kill you!
CLOUD: (Chuckles) Come on, don't joke like that. (He sits up and notices the kiss mark.) Tifa, didn't you promise me that you're gonna give me a kiss today?
TIFA: (Smiles and hugs Sephiroth.) True. But I decided I'd give Sephiroth a kiss instead.
ZACK: (Sits up with Cloud and sees the flower in Sephiroth's hands.) Hey, that flower's supposed to be for me!
SEPHIROTH: (Glaring at them) Yeah, but Aeris gave it to me so it's mine now!
ZACK: Aeris, is that true?
AERIS: (Ignores Zack and gives Sephiroth another flower.) I love your hair Sephiroth. I can't believe I even liked Zack's mop of spiky black hair.
TIFA: Or Cloud's spiky blonde hair.
(Sephiroth, Tifa, and Aeris leaves them.)
CLOUD: Hey! Don't leave us!
(Then they see the Mt. Nibel Monster coming towards them.)
ZACK: Help!
~the end…~
Goodbye peeps! This is my last goodbye…