This is quite the idea I've had for what seems like forever. Originally it was going to be a full-length story, but I decided against it, because I have no clue what would have happened. I would also like to thank Twili-Wolfboy, who edited this even though I didn't ask him to. I appreciate it!

This whole idea was inspired by the song 'Merlot' By Emm Gryner

So this story goes, the yeses turn to no's,
Like tragedies from long ago...

My fingers twitched and every breath I took seemed hollow, almost futile. Everything... was over, wasn't it? The pain was over.

"Bella?" The voice and my name both echoed in my head. It sent my mind reeling. This was what it was like, this was what it was like to finally have the immortality. I pushed myself up and opened my eyes.

Carlisle stood there, calm face and radiating his constant equanimity. He smiled but something was wrong. Something... something was wrong. Where was Edward? I didn't look around; my new senses told me for certain he was nowhere in the house. "How do you feel, Bella?"

I looked up my hands, twitching my fingers. "I feel fine." I insisted, just a little strange. "Where is Edward?"

There were words exchanged a floor below, that was nothing out of the ordinary. Footsteps, a television, the wind, but not a noise from Carlisle. I panicked, I didn't need any more worries, not with the torturous fire in my throat and the alieness of seeing the world like this. He had been here when Carlisle bit me... he had been typical Edward, worried, angry at himself for making me suffer this but... here... And he promised me he'd be here for me. Always.

"Edward had to leave," Carlisle said, coming over and wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Leave where?" I struggled against him a little, but because I knew I would easily have been able to make him let go of me I didn't really try. I wanted comfort.

"I'm not all that sure—" he would've said more if I hadn't interjected.

"I—I have to go find him go!" This time I did push him away, but just to be caught again.

"No, no, Bella, listen." He held my shoulders and made me look in his eyes. He looked different now. "While you were changing, something happened. Do you remember when you were in Volterra with Alice and Edward? Do you remember what Aro said?"

I tried to think back but it was hard now, all of my past memories seemed hard to remember. He had said a lot that day to begin with. I shook my head quickly and Carlisle seemed to nod as if he understood.

"He would've said something about you being Edward's 'La Tua Cantante', am I correct?"

I did remember that—blood singer or something. What did it mean now? Shouldn't my new vampire brain be able to figure it out? "Yes... I do remember that." I answered cautiously.

"Do you remember him saying also that he thought Edwards's attraction to you wasn't completely... earthly?" My mind raced, because now I got it. But I didn't want to. I was scared now.

"Carlisle where is Edward?" it was all I could bring myself to think. Where was he? I just had to find him now, I had to throw my arms around him and have him tell me he loved me. I couldn't live in a world where—where something as Carlisle seemed to be implying happened.

"I was honest when I said I didn't know." He told me quietly, hugging me tight. "It's going to be okay, Bella, everything will be alright."

I began to sob, but I was surprised when I shed no tears. I had known I wouldn't be able to cry... but I never really thought about it. Suddenly there were light, bouncy footsteps on the stairs. Certainly it was Alice. I continued to sob as she entered the room, shutting the door lightly behind her.

"Emmett and Jasper have gone to find him," she said quietly.

I peeked up. Alice smiled, but it wasn't an excited, gleeful smile like she normally would have.

"How are you doing, Bella?" She asked.

My lips formed an automatic pout and I could feel the sobs beginning to form in my chest again.

"It's okay," she breathed, coming over and wrapping a thin arm around my shoulder. I didn't want to be told it was okay, not by anyone except Edward. And I had feeling I wouldn't be hearing it from him anytime soon. "I promise it's going to be okay."

I didn't believe it. My mind was working a little more now, though. Through my guilt, my grief, and my overall confusion my head had actually began to think things through. And I realized I'd screwed up. I had made the wrong choice; I'd completely been blind. This wasn't what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to have been with Jacob. Now, now it was far too late. Now that was impossible. My heart ached with all it was worth.

"They'll be able find him." I believed her no problem, but it meant nothing to me anymore. Actually, it did mean something; I loved him. I still loved him like no one would believe but it was probably pointless. It meant nothing to him.
I looked up to Alice, blinking away nonexistent tears. She smiled and kissed my cheek.

"Come on, I promise it'll be okay."

Eventually, after I had been slightly calmed down, Emmett and Jasper dragged an unwilling Edward from wherever he had been, to right in front of where Alice and I sat on the couch. His head was hung in shame and he seemed not to want to look at me. I wanted to look at him, though.

"I'm... sorry." he murmured.

"Bella," Alice corrected almost harshly.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Edward offered again. My heart was being torn out.

"You couldn't possibly have known," I muttered emptily. "It's not your fault."

"It is my fault!" He exploded, taking a controlling step forward. "I destroyed your life!"

I jumped up passionately. "No you didn't!" I wanted to shriek it but I stayed half in control. "You did anything but ruin my life! You made it perfect! You—you made it perfect!"

Tears should have been teaming down my face at that point.

"I just hurt you! I just hurt you time and time again!" his hands were clenched into fists and his eyes didn't meet mine. "And now... look what I've done." He was quiet. The whole room was quiet.

"I don't care!" I cried. Of course I cared. "You're—you've been the best thing ever to happen to me,"

I quickly found my arms wrapped around myself, "I wouldn't change a second... you made everything worthwhile, Edward, it was perfect and I wouldn't have changed a single thing for the world!" I stared up at him. His face had changed. The face I had spent so many long nights memorizing had changed. He wasn't mine anymore. I was different now too.

"You wouldn't have changed that you're now damned for eternity?!"

"No!" I screamed, throwing myself from the room. I was moving so fast I almost forgot to open the front door.

I heard everyone yelling my name, everyone including Edward, but it didn't matter. I would be faster than them, and I had my mind set on getting of there.

~*~*~*~

I didn't go anywhere in particular, and I certainly didn't stay anywhere. I was too much of a train wreck think much about what was going on.

I hunted and I ran; nothing more than that. I never left Forks or the surrounding area, though. So was surprised when none of the Cullen's came looking for or found me. That was, if they were even looking for me. I hoped they were. They must still care about me, and the very least Carlisle wouldn't approve of a crazed newborn vampire running around, would he?

It was a cold, damp day. It almost felt like it would snow. Everything about it was miserable. Worst of all, I was beginning to feel as though the world didn't exist anymore... that the whole thing was some rampaged fantasy. Maybe... maybe there was no Edward. So, for my first conscious decision in days, I decided I wanted to know. I wanted to know if it had all been a dream. What seemed the correct way into the town was easy to find, but when I first caught the scent I began to worry slightly. What if I killed someone? What if I exposed myself accidentally?

I followed it anyway, out of curiosity. Nothing seemed real at all... I was even beginning to doubt my own name, and I wanted some proof it was all true, that it actually happened.

I came out of the forest, to my surprise, in-between two houses. I didn't think I was going to lose it and kill someone, but I held my breath anyway. No point risking it. No one really seemed to be stirring in the houses on either side of me. It was dusk; the sun was setting. They wouldn't be asleep yet, would they? Certainly not.

I could hear the engines of approaching cars now, though. A few of them, it seemed. I sat myself down in the overgrown grass and leaned against the rough brick of the house, watching to see what happened. It sounded almost like a parade... but it couldn't be.

There was no way it could be a parade.

I got it the second I saw the first sleek, black, spotless Cadillac in the procession. Suddenly it made complete sense. It was a procession. A funeral procession, Someone had died. I jumped up to attention instantly, too fast for a human. Guilt was rushing over me relentlessly. Of course, there was no logic behind it. There was no way in the world this could have been my fault. The fact that someone had died meant nothing to me.

My whole world was shattered when I saw the vehicle next in line, a police cruiser. No! My head screamed. I forced myself to make any explanation up out of nothing. This couldn't be what it seemed like. But you are dead, aren't you? Some faraway, rebellious part of my brain prodded. Pain tore through me, fast and completely unstoppable. No. No. No. A police officer died in the line of duty.

I had myself convinced of that until three cars later, when I saw something that seemed to alter me from the inside. Silver Volvo. I knew, something inside of me knew, I would never be the same. It was real. Edward... was real. And he didn't love me. I knew almost certainly that the black Mercedes would follow but I couldn't stay any longer. I had just been watching my own funeral procession.

I tore away from where I had been standing and launched myself back into the forest.

What had I done? I had been stupid and reckless and had chosen desire over logical thinking. I could have had Jacob; I could have had the perfect life without giving up a thing. Just like he said. Charlie would have been happy, we could have had kids,—a perfect family, we could have grown old together but I threw it all away without a backward glance.

What had I chosen instead? I had chosen a life where I was now completely alone, a life where I could watch my own funeral procession with everyone who loved me mourning my death and not even know it.