As the summary says! This is NSFW and just a one-shot alternate happy ending to the fic Crystal White! There is artwork to go with it that you can view over on AO3 under the same account/story name!
Shattered Glass
He painted because he didn't know what else to do.
In a stronghold where everyone hated and loathed him it was all he had. The walls didn't glare and scowl at him like his companions now did. Fingers steeped in black and red, he finished the fresco he hadn't had the time to finish when he left before. He painted the beast with its thick, dark coat like midnight and its eyes the colour of blood.
Fen'Harel worked for hours in the silence and the candlelight until she came. He felt her presence behind him, hesitant and cautious and yet he didn't turn around. He refused to acknowledge her as if it might make a difference in sparing her life.
After several moments Lavellan stepped forward, her bare feet padding on the ground and he felt her hand curl around his arm. He paused his painting and peered at her from the corner of his eye because to turn and face her completely would ruin his resolve.
"Fen'Harel," she started gently and it broke him to hear her voice whisper his true name like that.
He leant forward, his forehead pressing against the dry part of the wall as he tried, helplessly, to discourage her. "Lavellan, please, I can't-"
"I am already dragged into your mess," she interrupted and she moved to press between him and the wall so that he was forced to stare at her. "Do you think it will make a difference to Elgar'nan if you share my bed? Do you think Andruil will believe you if you try and convince her you don't care for me by pushing me away?"
"No, they-" He sighed, deep and frustrated as he admitted defeat. "They would kill you regardless."
She stepped away and he turned to follow her as she added, "Then why continue this madness if it makes no difference either way?"
A smirk pulled at his features then, and with one graceful, desperate movement, he cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers. It was a longing, hopeless kiss that had her gasping and clinging to him with her arms wrapped around his neck when he lifted her from the ground and pushed her back into the wall.
When they parted she sighed softly against his lips, pressed her forehead to his own and idly ran her fingers over the back of his smooth head.
"I missed you," she whispered after a few moments and ducked her head forward to flutter a kiss across his lips.
"You haven't spent the last year watching your heart stare at you as if you were nothing more than a stranger," he replied with the faintest of dry humour.
She scoffed at him and slipped her hands down to fumble and curl in his jumper. "You could have told me the truth."
"Let's not go there again, you know I couldn't have."
She grinned at him and made to pull his clothes over his head but he caught her hands in his own and whispered, gently, "Not here, it is not exactly private."
She slipped away from him, grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the door with that same mischief flashing in her eyes. "Then come with me."
She lead him up the stairs and to her quarters but they hardly made it far before he was pulling her into his arms and pushing a hungry, wanting kiss to her mouth. Fingers tugged and yanked at her shirt as she staggered backwards and as her shins hit the desk, he pushed her over it until her back was flush against the wood.
Freed from the material of her shirt he splayed his palms against her bare chest as she bit and sucked at his lower lip. Hands ran over her flesh with the desperation that his longing brought with it, his hips already shamefully rutting between her legs even while he was still fully clothed.
"Fen'Harel," she hissed into his mouth, her hands bunched in his woollen jumper as he peppered kisses to her lips and kneaded her breast. "Take this off now."
For her to order him shot lust through his body so deep it made his breath hitch in his throat. He obeyed and pulled back, his fingers digging into the fabric of his clothes and discarding his jumper and undershirt. With eyes flashing with poorly concealed desire she grabbed him by his necklace and yanked him towards her again, her legs wrapping around his waist and drawing him towards her.
Like the desperate people they were he pressed against her, his arousal straining in his leggings and it tore a moan from his throat for the friction their clothed thrusts caused. He tried to rid her of the rest of her clothes with his fingers curled around the waistband of her pants, but it was difficult while she had her arms curled around his back and pressing him so tight against her body. The bone of his necklace was cold against his hot skin and it dug into his flesh where it was pressed between their bodies but he hardly cared to notice the pain in that moment.
"Just-" Lavellan started, her breath hot against his ear while he buried into the hollow of her throat. "Get rid of them, please, I don't care how."
For a moment he paused, his fingers stilling in their struggle. Then, with a kiss against her neck his features pulled into a smirk and he let a fine bolt of perfectly controlled electricity burst from his fingers. It sheared over the remainder of her clothes, breaking seams and cloth before running over her skin.
His spell over her flesh made her back arched from the desk, her dull nails digging into his back and her mouth falling open as a low, throaty moan escaped her. It wasn't intentional, but his efforts to remove her clothes coupled with the extent of her longing made her come hard without the need for him to even touch her. He felt her body jerk and tense beneath him, a grin tearing at his lips for the way she clawed and raked at his skin and spat a curse into his ear.
"Lavellan," he purred and he pulled back to gaze down at her. She was sweaty and flushed, her hair tangled and the desk was messy from the papers that had been shoved aside to accommodate her back pressed to the wood.
"Don't say anything," she hissed but he could see through her words from the thick heavy lust in her eyes.
"Should I do it again?" he teased, his voice breaking into a soft chuckle to betray his adoration for her. "How you used to love it in Arlathan, I see not much has changed."
"I swear if you don't get in me soon-" she started and with his tongue curling over his lips he tore away her ruined clothes and slipped his hand between her legs. "No."
Pulling herself up from the desk she hooked her fingers at the waistband of his leggings and added, throatily, "No playing or games. Isala emma'in ar. Sahlin."
I need you in me. Now.
A pause and then he obliged softly with, "Ma nuvenin."
His leggings barely made it over his thighs before she was trying to pull him towards her. It was a silent agreement between them and neither uttered a word but with her head bowed she stared between their bodies, her teeth biting so hard into her lip she could easily have drawn blood. With her legs parted and wrapped around his hips she stared, second by second, as he pushed into her until he was fully sheathed.
Her breathing came in quick ragged gasps and there was a moment's pause where the mark on her hand flickered softly with the magic from his broken orb. Slipping her hand from where it had been curled around his back, they both stared at the flashing magic on her palm and then, in silence, their gazes met.
It was barely a split second's hesitation and then he was pushing her back against the desk again, his lips on hers and arms braced on the table. Their pace was desperate and crude, reflecting the pent up frustration that had built for so long in the both of them and he could hear the smack of their flesh against each other. The table creaked angrily, the wood protesting against his hard thrusts and ink spilling to the floor where she knocked over the pot.
"Fen'Harel," she breathed and he felt the magic on her hand flash stronger. "Too long. Tel'felas."
Faster.
Her control over the mark wavered and it was like a rush over his body that left his skin tingling as she sheared and weakened the bonds between worlds from the power his orb had granted her. She tore at the veil, damaged it for a moment and in his heady lust he didn't have enough control over himself to stop it happening.
Like a flood, his magic poured forth in reaction to hers and it melded together. They flitted and broke through between planes, their bodies flooding with magic. Moments passed where they were all but in the Fade, both their features twisted to reflect the way they'd looked in Arlathan. And then they were in her room again, pressed together against her desk and surrounded by flashes of green magic.
When he felt himself border on rapture he caught her hand desperately in his own. With palms pressed to one another their power twisted violently together and when they came it sent a burst searing magic through the air. It was like a ripple through the environment that sent papers and curtains billowing and he groaned as he spilt himself in her while her lips offered him a cry for the way she clenched around his length.
And they were spent moments later. Sticky with sweat and heaving for breath he pressed his forehead in the valley of her breasts and panted, desperately, to calm his shaking body. With the magic dulled from her mark she ran lazy circles against his back, her breath hot against him while he gently pulled out of her.
For hours he could have stayed pressed against her body with only their throaty confessions breaking the silence. It was her that spoke first when she murmured, pointedly, "If you ever leave me again I swear..."
She didn't even finish the sentence but her threat was clear enough. A press of a kiss against her collarbone and then he lifted his head to gaze into her lidded violet eyes. "I will never, I promise."
"Good."
She smiled and he returned it while he ran his hand over her stomach and up her body. There, he cupped her jaw and tangled his fingers in her messy white hair. She pulled him closer with her arms curled around his neck, found his lips in a gentle kiss and when it broke she stared for a long minute into his eyes while his forehead pressed to hers.
He would have stayed forever like that if he could have. But the sound of heavy footfalls on wooden steps caught his attention and they turned to stare in time to catch the sight of Cassandra and her advisors bursting into the room.
"We saw the Fade magic coming from your room, Inquisitor-" the seeker started but her words died in her throat when she properly took in how Fen'Harel had Lavellan pressed flush beneath him and against her desk.
It was in that moment that he finally truly noticed the mess they'd made. Papers were strewn all across the floor, her ink pot spilled and dripping black spots over the side of the desk. It was an almost comical stretch of silence that lasted between them as Cassandra and Lavellan's advisors properly registered how naked the two elves were bar the leggings shoved roughly down Fen'Harel's thighs.
Cullen was the first to speak, although to call it speech was being kind because it was far more like a strangled squeak. "Maker preserve me- this is not what I expected to see today."
"Me neither," Leliana added and if he didn't know better Fen'Harel could have sworn she was grinning when she spoke.
"Solas," Cassandra choked.
"I do believe the correct term is Fen'Harel," Josephine chimed in. "Solas was the disguise that he used to stop us guessing his true identity, no?"
"It hardly matters when he is-" the seeker spluttered and waved her hands around in a gesture towards their naked bodies. "That."
"I am more surprised that you would with-" Leliana paused for a moment and glanced at Lavellan. "Considering who he is."
"I did think Fen'Harel was hated among the dalish," Cullen added in a slightly more reasonable pitch even if he stared very intently at the floor while he spoke.
With a deep sigh Lavellan murmured, "There is something you all ought to know."
"What is it?" Cassandra replied.
"It will take a long time to explain," Fen'Harel interjected because he knew exactly what Lavellan was speaking of, and there wasn't exactly any easy way of describing their extensive history. "And you may want to sit down for it."
"And you may wish to be clothed," Josephine added with a little chuckle. "It is cold in here with the windows open, no?"
"It is." Fen'Harel was already blushing red before Leliana even said it. "And with the windows open... my, half of Skyhold must have heard you."
"Get out," the god snapped and with some shooing from Cassandra they, mercifully, left him alone with Lavellan once more.
It was then that he withdrew from her and moved to pull his clothes on once more. Lavellan sighed as she held up her ruined leggings, pulled on a clean new pair and then casually tossed the old ones over the side of her balcony. Fully clothed once more he waited for her by the stairs and she stepped into his embrace for a moment, her arms linking behind his back and her lips pressing a soft, gentle kiss to his lips.
"Centuries I spent thinking you were dead," he whispered as hands trailed over her arms and waist until they settled against the small of her back. "And then seeing you alive but with no memories..."
Foreheads pressed together, her gaze lidded and longing while she replied with, "Is that why you hesitated in returning my affections?"
"Completely. I was a stranger to you and yet I loved you with everything in me, kissed every inch of your body." A purse of his lips into a thin line to reflect the bitter amusement their circumstances now found in him. "To say it was a bizarre situation is an understatement."
"I remember now."
"I know. Whatever time we have, whatever moments we can steal, they are all yours." A fleeting kiss pressed to the corner of her mouth and then he was burying into the crook of her neck, breathing deep the so familiar scent of her hair. "I love you, and I will give anything that history not repeat itself."
With her head bowed against his chest, she whispered those words that had been everything to him. "And I love you."
It meant the world to him that she would still return his affections after everything that had happened between them. Whatever may come, he would swear to stand by her as long as he could, because he had not come so far in his life to abandon again the one thing that kept him grounded.