Hey it's me again! I don't know what it is, but lately I've been having a thing about very sad A/P stories. This time, it's from Vader's POV. Please don't think that I have some freaky Vader fetish. Writing these stories is painful for me. I'll try and get a happier one in here sometime. And look out for my next story. It actually has plot (Yay! Plot!!) and it basically covers everything I think happens in Episode III. It'll be pretty long. I'll try and squeeze some shorties in between chapters.
This song is Your Eyes from the Broadway musical Rent. The lyrics, flashbacks and some of Vader's thoughts are in italics, and the rest of my story is in normal text. It is a very pretty song that Roger sings to Mimi. I do not own these lyrics, they are the property of Jonathan Larson. And while we're on the subject, I do not own these characters or anything from Star Wars. It all belongs to George Lucas, the maker, our god, the keeper of a million secrets.
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Your Eyes: The Pain of a Thousand Broken Hearts
by dreamingofani
Your eyes
As we said our goodbyes
Can't get them out of my mind
Darth Vader lay in his chamber, pretending to be asleep. He was deep in thought, not about killing, or his master or his new Death Star. Quite the opposite. He couldn't stop thinking about Padmé. His wife. His only love. His angel... He remembered her silky brown hair, the touch of her smooth skin on his, the taste of her lips and those magnificent sparking brown eyes. Especially her eyes. He knew his master would become angry if he found out that he was thinking about her. There is no room for love, he thought. I'm supposed to be over her by now... But, try as he might, Vader just couldn't get the image of beautiful Padmé out of his head. Her eyes, her sad brown eyes... He felt as though someone had stabbed a dagger into his heart, thinking of the sadness in those eyes. And it was his fault, all his fault...
And I find
I can't hide
from your eyes
He tried to close his eyes, to drift off to sleep, but he couldn't escape her eyes. Ani...they seemed to plead. Ani...
Padmé... he started to think, but stopped himself. He got up to find his cloak. It's very cold...He found it and slipped it over his shoulders in one fluid motion, but his hand stopped at his heart. He felt the bump of something under the fabric and pulled it out from under his cloak. He took one look at it and felt a sharp pain in his stomach. The japor snippet he had carved Padmé all those years ago hung around his neck, and he had completely forgotten about it. He delicately rubbed the necklace between his cold metallic fingers. The image of Padmé's eyes came back again, burning stronger than ever. Darth Vader fell to his knees and let out a small, defeated cry.
The ones that took me by surprise
the night you came into my life
where there's moonlight
I see your eyes
Without really meaning to, Vader thought back to his wedding-- the kiss they shared, the beautiful sunset. Then he remembered their promise as they sat in each other's arms by the moon-illuminated lake.
Promise me, Ani, you'll never let go of this...
I'll never let go of this, Padmé. Not for anything in the galaxy.
Good...
And he remembered having one last glimpse of her brown eyes, reflecting the moon, before she leaned up and kissed him...
Vader's eyes caught a small spot of light in the dark chamber where one of the moons shone through a crack in the curtains. The image of Padmé's face, her eyes, illuminated by the Naboo moon flickered in his mind.
"Padmé..." he breathed.
How'd I let you slip away
When I'm longing so to hold you?
He felt a wave of anger washing over him. Yet while he usually felt a surge of power with such an emotion, this time he felt positively sick. His heart was wrenched apart with intense pain-- the pain of a thousand broken hearts. He wanted nothing more in the galaxy than the warmth, the comfort of Padmé's embrace. More than power, more than money, more than inflicting pain, more than pleasing his master, he wanted his angel. More than anything, he wanted her. But he couldn't. She was gone...
Now I'd die for one more day
cuz there's something I should've told you
there's something I should've told you
He thought back to the day they parted.
Anakin, why are you doing this?
Darth Vader is my name. Anakin means nothing to me now.
Ani...
Vader!
Don't you love me?
No, he lied
When I looked into your eyes
why does distance make us wise?
You were the song all along
and before the song dies
I should tell you
"Padmé.." he whispered desperately. "Angel...I..."
I should tell you
"...love you."
I have always loved you
you can see it in my eyes
Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith, removed his mask with trembling hands and gently lay down in bed. As hard as he fought to regain his composure, he couldn't help it, and a single tear fell down his mangled cheek. His eyelids fluttered open and a look of complete, consuming sadness shined through his long-forgotten blue eyes.