Hey, yet another translation!
This time the other way around. It works, it really works. Anyway, Cluuunie, I was thinking about doing this when I got your review, it gave me the push I needed.
Well, this is a oneshot, short, ironic, amusing I think.
I want to make sure you know all this is said in a good mood and I don't mean to offend anyone, I'm just having a nice time.
I don't own Digimon... there I think that covers it.
Well... meet TK that old chap!
Love is seriously overrated.
I just don't get why everyone makes a big deal out of couple. What's with that? Why is it so bad to be alone, or single whatever?
Being alone is not the worst thing that could happen, being the odd man out, that's what sucks. Do you know why they say 'two's company, three's a crowd'? Because it's true. It's almost like being a third nipple or something, sort of this unborn fetus fused in the twin's body. Never! I'd rather be alone than hang out with the lovebirds.
When did being single became the same as being lonely? In the age of knowledge, tolerance and social equity us single people are about the most fucked up demographic group there can be.
Alright, I might be pushing it, but aside from the countries in the Middle East or Africa, it's the truth and you know it.
You don't believe me? Allow me to illustrate then: Last summer Kari and I decided to go back to New York.
Before you're up my ass bugging me with questions, yes I used to have a crush on her. If you pay really close attention you'll noticed I said used to. That means it's a past situation's that it's not true today.
Anyway, the point is that I let too much time pass. I overshot my wait and ended up as "the best bud". You know how that works, it's when the girl tells you how much she loves you, and confides in you all her secrets and has nothing but deep, pure appreciation for you… and she cannot for her life see you as a boyfriend.
I'm losing my train of thought here. Being in Manhattan we ran into Willis, he offered to show us around and said we could crash in his place so we could do other things with our money.
Of course we said yes immediately… until I learned Davis was on his way. He had been apart from his dearest girlfriend, Kari, for five excruciating, crippling, insufferable, alarmingly long… hours. In the sixth hour he figured he had two choices, jump off a bridge or go meet her on the other side of the world.
Naturally Kari thought this was the most romantic and sweet gesture she'd ever experienced. Grateful like a dog that's been given leftovers; she welcomed him in the JFK with tears in her eyes.
Willis looked at me with pity; pity! Like he wasn't every bit as single and unlucky as I. Bastard. He also told me that Davis and Kari would probably like some time alone and that I was welcomed to stay anyway.
Obviously I decided to stay; I'm bitter, not stupid. Despite Willis and I have never had the chance to really get to know each other, I think we'll end up being BFF.
The second that thought came to me I decided I was better off alone. Wouldn't want to end up sipping tea with my buddy and my cats when I'm older, and that line of thought inescapably ends there.
So I decided to leave the country. And, being so close, I thought Canada would be the perfect place to go. I could visit Montreal, Toronto and Niagara Falls.
Later I understood it'd be impossible to go to all those places in so little time, and feeling a bit environmentalist at the moment, I took the first train to the falls.
And that gets us back to "single man" segregation. When I got to the platform they asked me whether I was traveling alone or not. I said alone and they send me to the last wagon… they might just as well had send me to a leper colony those fuckers.
The last wagon was filled with kids whose balls hadn't dropped, which as you know means that I was surrounded by a bunch of sopranos yelling and screaming and screeching, spoiled, insufferable brats. Why is it illegal to slap a kid around in this place? Mark my words, many problems in today's society could be avoided if we could just give a good spanking to these little monsters.
Senility was the other forty five percent of the wagon's population. I came up with a category for them; after all I could spare the time. All of them could fit in a level: A, B or C, depending on how many teeth they had left. Come to think of it in times of Jesus this would be the equivalent of dining with the lepers and the hookers.
I decided to sleep through the rest of the trip. There is nothing glamorous about taking the train.
When I finally got to my destination I couldn't help but to feel disappointed. The main street was like a mini Vegas that was missing out on all the fun. It was plastic and phony and utterly tasteless. There were just so many things, and so many of them were so unnecessary.
However, when I was onboard of the 'Lady of the Mist', the name of that happy little boat that takes you up close to the see the falls, I was at a loss for words, completely blown away. A feeling that was equally shared by all in the ferry; no one uttered a word.
The radioactive foam on top of the river kills the thrill of nature a bit, but the majesty of the fall was incredibly touching, also it gave me some perspective and my troubles suddenly didn't seem so large anymore.
I bought souvenirs for everyone; cups, key chains, weird plushies, etc. It was fun to notice that Canada has four national symbols: The maple leave, the moose, the beaver and Celine Dion. My national pride grew exponentially.
I returned that very same day to Manhattan and I was able to look at things with a different attitude. This city has a very particular and alluring charm to it. Last time I came my holidays were brought to an end by Terriermon's evil twin. I had two days left and I was planning on making the most of it.
Last time around I got to see the Empire State and all those museums and stuff. So I just wandered off in Manhattan, just watching people and live go by. After a whole day walking around the city I decided it's my favorite place in the world.
When Willis opened the door of his apartment and saw me, he just smiled and offered to let me stay again. When we sat down to eat I told him everything that had been bothering me.
I see him once every ten years or something, so I figured, I could speak with him. Why the hell not, right? He just listened to me and nodded occasionally.
When I finished talking he got up, walked up to me, looked me in the eye and told me I was a moron.
After one of the longest most embarrassing lectures of my life, besides noticing I had made a friend after all, I realized he was completely right, damn him.
Denial is not just a river in Egypt. I never liked that phrase before, seemed really stupid, anyway the point here is that all my anger and apathy towards love and relationships it was just a really bad cover. The only one judging me for being single was me.
And how could I not? When you have mass media rubbing in your face love and sex, telling you it's better to have genital wards than being single.
But that's not really what bothers me. Matt and Sora have been together for three years now, they're solid. It's really amazing the way they care for each other. They're not the ones for pose; they're not cheesy or phony at all.
Kari finally gave in and went on a date with Davis about a year ago because he simply wouldn't let her be. Somewhere along the way she fell for him, and the rest you know already.
Mimi is still dating Michael, and they're quite perfect for each other. They're both like a pair of cornballs and not too sharp either, but they're equally noble and caring. Weird yet completely honest couple.
Then there's Yolie and Ken, who would've thought those two would end up together, like for real? She has been after him since forever, and except for a couple of fights and fits they're pulling through quite well.
Joe's been dating Momoe, Yolie's older sister, for a couple of months now. Cody has a girlfriend too, I haven't met her, but I know he has one.
Izzy met a girl online; I thought it was quite amusing at the time, it makes sense yet it's really sad… or so I thought. Six months ago they met in a coffee shop. Now they're always together.
I said bye to Willis with a hug, thanking him for the lecture. When I got to the airport, Kari and Davis were already there, sitting together. It seemed they were having a nice time; they weren't really doing anything, just talking and hanging out.
I went to say hi, Kari just stood up, held me really tight and gave me a kiss in the cheek, telling me how sorry she was to have ditched me the way she did. Davis stood up as well, held me and the asshole gave me a kiss in the cheek too!
After punching him in the arm, hard, he told me he was sorry for barging in on us like that. It was a sincere apology. Kari just laughed at my reaction. Sure as hell I was beat red now… sometimes I really hate being blonde.
Kari took Davis by the chin and kissed him. I rolled my eyes and sighed but smiled anyway. I don't care being the odd man out. They're my friends and I love just hanging out with them.
Two's company, but three's a party, baby.
Done, I wrote this in like an hour... it was back in the day when I was bitter as well...
BTW, I love Canada, I do. I've lived there and it's awesome, but the symbols and all, they're quite sad. XD
Now thanks for reading this, if you liked it, let me now.