By Dannette Lawrence
It was a love without reason, a love that had no logic to it, but nevertheless it was a love. She felt loved whenever he was near her, and it was something that no one could ever take away from her. She had just broken up from a messy relationship, once friends with the man she thought she loved, she found out the hard way how the chains of love could destroy you, and not just you, but the people around you. She loved him, but she knew that they were heading down a road, a bumpy road with no seatbelt attached in the car she was locked in, she was helpless.
Helpless against winning a fight that she could never win. It was a fight that had no winner, just a fight that was there to make you feel even more like a victim. The fight grabbed a hold of all your emotions and used those emotions in your body to destroy you, to destroy your heart.
He dumped her. That night,
that god awful night when he told her they were over, she had felt the
tears, she felt as if she had died inside. Jeff had been there to comfort
her, but it wasn't the same, she would never be the same, not after what
his love did to her. Weeks went by and she slowly began to heal, but her
heart would never be the same, it could never open up again, ever.
The late night talks with
Jeff didn't seem to help at all, he tried to reason with her, he told her
that she would feel love once more, but she didn't want to feel love. She
wanted love to go away and never knock on her door again, she was done
with love, forever. She didn't need love, she had Jeff and she had everything
else she needed, who cared about love? Who needed love?
It sort of reminded her of that Tina Turner song, you know the one right? What's love got to do with it? Yeah that's it ... who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken? The song spoke to her; showed her the truth about love, and she would live by that song. Those lyrics, the honest words, they were her omen, her inspiration, her inspiration to stay away from love and to refuse love.
Refuse everything love offered her ... that's what she would do. She didn't need another broken heart; she wasn't going to play the fool anymore. The stupid girl who kept falling into a man's arms and hoping he could make her interminable pain go away. She was sick of playing that role, that role could go to her ex-friend you could say, Trish Stratus. Trish was a shining example of using men as an excuse, using men to get fame or to feel warm. IE: her relationship with The Rock. Trish didn't love The Rock, just using him to get what she wanted; and by god Lita would never let herself do that again. She didn't need men; she didn't need them to complete her.
She didn't need to play the victim, the poor defenseless victim ... the role was getting boring. Tiring. She didn't need to act like she couldn't protect herself in this world, just because it made men feel more ... manly, I guess would be the word. She was a rock. A warrior. A fighter. A ... whatever other word that meant she was strong, yep that was her ... she was strong.
As E.E Cummings once said, no one can live for you, nor can you live for anybody else. She was done with letting people live for her, make her decisions, she was sick of it all ... no more love. No more do this Lita, do that Lita, you know I'm only doing this because I love you Lita ...
It was all bullshit; bullshit she was done with. No more excuses, no more believing the lies ... no more making her look like a fool just because she was in love with him.
But of course, she never expected her heart to feel love again.
It had sneaked up on her, like a snow leopard on his prey. With soft cautious steps, stepping ever so softly, not making a sound, and then it leapt forward. Pouncing on her, taking her by complete surprise, never giving her a moment to see it coming, to prepare herself for the attraction, the love. Okay, maybe he didn't really pounce on her, but symbolically that was what his love did.
You get it right?
He had been running down the WWF halls, running from Stone Cold, who was searching for revenge after Kurt and Booker T had spray painted his truck. So Kurt had been running down the halls, and she had been reading a magazine, and before the both of them knew it, Kurt had collided with Lita's body, and had landed on top of her. Ala the "pouncing" theory. She had been intent on saying something snappy to him, but just looking into his blue eyes, she had been caught, caught with an emotion she wasn't completely sure about, he had surprised her.
He was unusually sweet. He acted like a big jackass once the cameras were on, but deep down he had a personality that was very different from his gimmick on television. His smile was charming, his eyes told a story of a person misunderstood, and it was just everything about him that had Lita shocked. She had been friends with him at one time, but now, she felt more.
There had been some sort of connection formed between the two of them, in that one moment where her body had collided with his. Everything bad that happened between her and Matt seemed to disappear as she looked into the icy blue eyes of Kurt Angle. She saw something in him that she had never seen before, and she wanted more, wanted more then just a glance.
It had been formed so slowly, as the old motto goes ... it was as slow as molasses. Her grandmother used to say that, such a typical statement, but it describes exactly how it all started. It had been slow, and painful ... painful because she was in love with him and he didn't see it.
Hah, you all must think it isn't possible for someone to fall in love so quickly.
Well if you think that way, then you don't know love at all, my friends. Love can happen so quickly that you don't even see it happening, it's like a predator ... it can strike you at any given moment in time, and believe me ... you never see it happening. Love can happen over night, it can happen in a mere 5 minutes, it just depends on how powerful the connection is between the two people.
It was a plunge Lita took without even realizing it. It happened so fast, so quickly ... that the plunge it just happened, it felt damn natural. It wasn't even scary, not like the plunge she took for Essa and Matt, this plunge felt great; there was no fear in jumping into that pool. The deep pool that contained all the love she needed to give to Kurt, only if he would accept it.
Mere kisses, the ones where you just slightly brush your lips against one another's, nothing deep ... just a short kiss, even a quick peck on the lips. Touches of the hand, where you just slightly brush your hand against her knuckles, in such a chaste way. A smile, one of those honest to god sweet, adorable smiles that didn't have a trace of cruelty or ulterior motives in it. That was all Lita wanted or needed from Kurt, just a glance, a sweet smile, a hug that lingered for a few seconds.
She needed him. She felt deep down in her heart, a need for his love, his respect, a need for anything he would give her. She had fallen in love so quickly, and with no logical reason at all. But the love, she needed it returned, even if he was to break her heart, she just wanted one moment in time where he loved with all of his heart, that's all she was asking for.
He didn't seem to notice her love at first; it was one of those realizations that break your heart. He didn't even see the love she threw his way whenever he was near her. He didn't see the glow she had around her whenever he spoke to her; he didn't see the way she looked at him. Looked at him as if he was some sort of angel, some sort of gift from above, being sent to her.
He didn't see any of it, maybe he really was a dumb ass, a person that had no clue when someone hated or loved him. And by god that made him even more attractive, deep down ... he had a naivete to him, that no one could posses once they grew up, once they left childhood. He still had his inner child, and he let that inner child come out whenever it pleased. It was one of the biggest things that Lita loved about him; he was just so sweet and honest at times, his inner child shining so brightly, that you have to turn away for a few seconds, afraid of being blinded.
Yes, he did eventually come around. It slowly dawned upon him of Lita's love, of her undying love for him. And he had nevertheless been shocked, shocked that a woman ... a beautiful angel such as Lita could possibly be in love with him. He never got a break, no one liked him all that much, but then out of nowhere he found out the flying red head diva loved him with all her might.
The shock had turned into happiness, and he had so quickly returned the love, that you might be shocked. He wanted love just as much as the other person did, he wanted love to love him with all it's might. He wanted to be able to take a plunge for the woman he loved, and luckily she had taken the plunge before him. He wanted Lita's love, and he wanted it all ... and he got it all.
So my friends; as I conclude this story to an end ... I ask you ... do you believe in the chains of love? Such a simple question my readers ... do you believe that a broken heart can love again?
In the words of a song written
by the Beatles ... all you need is love.