a/n: This one took a turn I didn't expect when I started writing it.

WARNING – mentions/alludes to child abuse.

I borrowed a few lines from "Exit Wounds" :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds – but if I did there would be no hiatus ;)

An Unwanted Invitation

Staring down at the small piece of paper on the counter Derek didn't know what to make of it;

Class of 1990's 20 year High School Reunion

Friday the 18th of June 2010

We hereby invite you

Derek Morgan

To come and revisit your youth, catch up with old friends and trade life stories

All in the comfort of a place that was once your old haunt: the School Gym.

RSVP 04515695845

He was staring at an innocent invitation and yet he couldn't help the sick feeling that overcame him. It was just his High School Reunion, but that wasn't a "just" thing for Morgan; high school hadn't been the best place for him. In fact he had spent every single moment of it wishing that it was over so that he could escape. Escape from the torment of his 'mentor', from all the expectations people had of him, the preconceived notions about him and from all the responsibilities he had had to take on since his father had died. Yes, high school hadn't been his favourite place to be. He really didn't think he wanted to revisit all those feelings just to spend a night with a fake smile on his face trying to pretend that everything in high school has been 'neat' and that he wanted nothing more than to be there.

The doorbell knocked him out of his thoughts and he was glad of the distraction from the turn his mind was sure to take – the dark one it always took when he dwelled too much on his past.

When he opened the door she breezed in like a colourful hurricane and he couldn't help but smile as her jacket was flung over his and her bag was plonked on his coffee table as she made herself at home, all the while talking animatedly about the film she had brought to watch. He smiled at her back as she retreated into his kitchen.

"Hello to you too Baby Girl." He called out to her as he followed her path through his house.

"Don't be so cheeky Mr, or I may just have to keep all the popcorn for myself." She mock scolded with a smile as he came into the kitchen behind her. He laughed his deep laugh and she knew without looking that his eyes were crinkled at the corners and his teeth would be on full display as a smile graced his features.

"Oh Red, you know you couldn't hold out on me."

"Oh really? Then how come I haven't taken you up on any of your offers then handsome?"

"Cos you're a mean mean woman." He said with a pout, placing a kiss to her head, just glad that she was able to chase away the demons, even if she was unaware that any had been lurking too close to the surface for his liking.

"What's this?" She asked suddenly, spotting the invitation on his counter. "Ooh, High School Reunion. You gonna go?" She asked, turning around and leaning on his counter facing him.

"I- uh I don't know yet." He said, wishing now that he had binned the invite straight away like he had with the others he had had for previous years.

"Ah but why not? I bet you were a hottie even back then; star quarterback with all the girls? You can go back and show 'em just what Derek Morgan the High School Hottie has turned into." She said with a smile, "And you've definitely gotten better with age, I've seen pictures after all." She teased with a wink.

He laughed slightly, "I was more focused on getting out of high school than putting out, Sweetness. Not exactly my favourite time."

"But mon cher, I don't believe that for a second. A stud muffin like you, even back then, must've had the pick of the girls." She continued to tease before his words and the look in his eyes really registered. "Shit, Derek, I'm sorry, I forgot."

"Least one of us did." He said with a small laugh. "It's the first thing that goes through my mind each time I see those damn invites. If I go back I have to pretend again and I don't think I can do that."

"Invites? There's been more?" He nodded in reply.

"I just always bin them; I've never had a second thought about it..."

"Until now." She pointed out. "What changed?"

"I guess I did. It's all part of what made me who I am and as much as I want to bury it I just don't know."

"Well sleep on it my handsome profiler. But right now we have us a movie to watch." She said with a smile, dragging him from the room to break him from his thought process.

As they lay watching the film, her head resting on his broad shoulder she spoke, looking up at him from her spot: "You know, D, I reckon you should go to this thing. Maybe it'll help you get some more closure. Help you put it well and truly behind you."

Startled by the sudden observation he looked down at her and into her caring eyes. Seeing his reservations and noting his pause, she spoke again: "I'd come with you if you wanted moral support. Give you a hand to hold or a shoulder, or bosom," she winked "to rest that head of yours on if needed."

"I couldn't ask you to do that Mamma, and I wouldn't." He said with conviction.

"But you wouldn't have to Sug, I'm offering." She interrupted quickly.

"My past's my past," He began, his voice strong. "However terrible it is I don't ever want to go back there. I never want to-" His voice wavered slightly. "I can't ever feel like I did back then." He started again and she remained silent. This was the first time he had ever even referenced what Buford did to him other than when he broke down in her arms the day after they had arrived back from Chicago. This was big. She remained stalk still in his half embrace and kept her eyes on his face, watching as he looked away, towards the pictures of his family on the unit.

I spent far too much of my time at that place wishing that I was dead, but even then I felt guilty for wishing that on my family because I was all they had left after my dad. I was the one who had to be the 'man of the house' and get us out of there. Get us to somewhere better. Buford was the only way I was going to get out, I couldn't do anything else – at least I thought that then – that I couldn't do it on my own. Sure I was popular at school, but that was only because I became so good at acting the part: the cocky jock with all the girls at his finger tips. But I only ever had one girl on my mind, Heather Platt, she was the only one who actually spoke to me like I was a person, not a piece of meat." He laughed slightly. "But even with her I pretended. Pretended everything was ok, that I wasn't tearing apart inside - that I didn't fell dirty every time I kissed her or touched her. It was nothing to do with her; that was all him but she just thought I was being sweet. She didn't care about rumours, she let them all believe that I had slept with her and I let them believe it too. I guess that sounds kind of jerk-like but I was scared someone would find out that I couldn- that I – that he was-"

Derek seemed to struggle more for a moment, dragging his eyes from his family pictures and focusing instead on the ceiling, the floor, the doorway, anywhere but at Garcia. She squeezed his arm reassuringly, her heart breaking for the little boy her Chocolate Adonis used to be.

"I-" He began before letting out a massive sigh and with it she knew that he was knackered from telling her that. "I just spent way too much time in high school praying for a way out, praying for him to make it stop, trying to fit in, trying to pretend everything was just fine when I wasn't sure what fine was any more." He said in a small voice and it took all Garcia had in her not to hug him to her and never let him go. Instead she just let him continue, she knew him well enough to know that he wasn't done yet. "I know I have been back to the youth centre and I've faced him but I don't want to have to face those people again. I never want to revisit the person they thought I was, because to me that person never truly existed." He let his head fall back and shut his eyes against the prickling of hot tears. He would not cry, not now, not in front of his Baby Girl, not again.

"You know what Handsome," She began, pulling his right arm back around her shoulder as she laid her head on his chest once more, listening to the pounding of his heart. "You," she said, tracing a finger on his broad chest. "Are the strongest person I know, but everyone is allowed a little break, being strong takes it out of you. You are who you are because of the terrible things that monster did to you, but I love the man you are now. I'm not saying I wish it hadn't happened, because I do; I wish I could erase all the memories and take away the nightmares, but I know that because of that you are here today, in this very place with me and I thank my lucky stars for bringing you here. You are my best friend Derek Morgan, and I don't know what I would do without you." She said with feeling, her fingers still tracing patterns across his chest.

"You do." He said softly, bending his head down to kiss the top of her head, and taking a moment to breath in the familiar fruity smell of her shampoo.

"I do what?" She asked, confused, sitting back a little bit to look up at him.

"You do chase away the nightmares Baby Girl." He said, his eyes no longer clouded with anguish, now only filled with love as he wiped a stray tear from her face. "You do more than you know Angel. I meant every word when I said you were my God Given Solace. You," He said with feeling, tapping the tip of her nose softly, "are what I was praying for back then. You are the one that helped me through it all once I finally faced up to it, you have been my constant guiding light Penelope and I have done nothing to deserve having you in my life, but I thank my lucky stars every day that you are."

"I kinda love you, Derek Morgan." She said softly, the gravity of his words setting in.

"I kinda love you too, Penelope Garcia." He replied, kissing her temple softly before lifting her chin softly so that his eyes would meet hers.

When he met her tear glazed eyes he knew then that it was now or never. His eyes never left hers as his face descended towards her slowly, searching her eyes for any sign: good or bad. When he saw the usual sparkle in her eyes he knew he had made the right move at the right time, finally; and when their lips met in a soft but passion filled kiss he knew that he was home.

His Baby Girl was the only person who had ever made him feel so safe and he knew there and then that she had been who had been waiting on since he was 13 and sat in the cold church, scared and alone. She was the one who had finally healed his heart and his soul, simply by loving him back.

She truly was his God Given Solace.