The Darkness Is My Friend!

By No1butjoe

A/N: Here it is! The fourth story in my 'Darkness' series. Enjoy!

Disclaimer - I don't own Bonanza or it's characters. Unfortunately, John Clemmings belongs to me.

NOTE: Please read The Darkness Outside,The Darkness Within, and The Darkness Takes Over before this one, so this will make more sense.

An Old 'Friend'

Even after their talk the other night, Ben still noticed that Joe steered clear of Adam as much as he could. Adam was slowly recovering, but, Ben detected something was wrong in Joe's and Adam's relationship that had always been there. Love. Joe walked out to the shed, sheltering his face from the freezing cold blizzard that had started up again. As he reached it, a slight movement to his left caught his attention and he whirled around to find a familiar figure standing there.

"Clemmings," he said, harshly.

"Well, Cartwright, I finally caught up with you," he said, smiling slightly. "I've followed you clear across the country only to find out that you've returned to your family. Pathetic, Joe. Real pathetic."

It took all of Joe's willpower not to punch the man in the face. He looked back to the shack, spotting the light in the window that was put there by his father to guide him back. If only he could warn them! Suddenly, a blunt object hit him in the back of the head, sending him to the ground, moaning in pain. Though Joe had been knocked down, he wasn't down and out. Looking through hazy eyes, he gripped his assailant's ankle and pulled, hearing a loud thud a few minutes later. Hands clenched his throat and he struggled desperately to stay conscious. A shot rang out, followed by several worried voices. Two strong arms picked him up off the ground and, before losing consciousness, he whispered, "Adam?"

BONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZA

A Family

Joe shivered and slowly opened his eyes to find Ben, Adam, and Hoss standing over him, worriedly.

"Pa?" he whispered, confused. "Where am I?"

"You're home, son," Ben replied, pushing a damp curl out of the young man's eyes. "You've been unconscious for a good week now and there were several times that we thought we lost you. How do you feel?"

Joe smiled.

"I'm fine, Pa," he whispered, settling back, contentedly. "Just fine."

BONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZABONANZA

Epilogue

Adam and Joe rarely talked, or rather, Joe always avoided Adam every chance he got. One night, Adam cornered his youngest brother in the barn.

"Joe?" he asked. "Joe, can we talk?"

"Sure," came the reply. "What's up?"

"Pa told me how you blamed yourself for what happened at the line shack," Adam began, clearing his throat. "Joe, I would've gone after you no matter what. I would've followed you to San Francisco if I had to. Do you understand that I love you, boy? More than my own life."

Tears threatened to spill down Joe's cheeks as he watched his older brother talk and he listened with love and admiration. Was this the same brother who had argued with him about how many heads of cattle they had to collect in order to meet their deadline? The same brother who'd read a book and be able to tune into a conversation without losing his place? Obviously, something had changed in the older Cartwright while he was sick. And Joe liked it.

"I love you, too, Adam, but-"

"No buts, little brother," Adam ordered, smiling warmly. "We're brothers. We're supposed to forgive each other and learn to accept the other's mistakes. That's what I've already done, Joe. I forgave you after the operation was a success. It's all in the past as far as I'm concerned. The question now is, are you willing to accept it and go on, or hide from it and run?"

Joe's sobs caught him by surprise and he embraced his youngest brother to his chest as he cried.

"It's so hard to forget, Adam," he whispered, softly. "I want to forget, but it always manages to find a way to come back to haunt me. Please, help me?"

"I'll help you, little buddy, but you have to promise me that you'll try to help yourself," Adam responded, stroking the young man's hair gently. "Promise?"

Joe nodded and buried his face into Adam's shirt. A moment later, he felt a strong hand on his shoulder and turned to find his father kneeling beside him and Adam.

"Pa, I'm sorry," he started, but Ben silenced him.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, son," he argued, smiling gently. "I understand what you're going through. All I want is to help you go through it. You don't have to do it alone, Joseph. Remember that. You're never alone."

Joe did remember that. Even when he was in his darkest hours, he turned to his family and they were right there with open arms - and hearts.

A/N: That's it, folks. The end of the series. Don't worry. I have another two-part series. So, look for it in the future, ok? Please, R&R!