Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Namco, Capcom, Squarsoft, and Vampire Hunter D characters, though I would love to own the men that will be mentioned. MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
After the production of Soul Calibur, Mitsurugi had about enough with the cameraman. With the prissy attitude going, Mitsurugi didn't need to be told how to do his own thing. He was a frickin' samurai for Hyne's sake! He wasn't an acrobat. "More flips! Roll more! Stretch your leg above your head! Now to a split in mid air matrix style, and pat your ass, and wink at the camera. Be sexy Mitsurugi! COME ON! FLIRT!" Let's just say that the cameraman won't be coming back to film anytime soon, and has gone on a permanent vacation worm watching underground in a rather…cozy box. Then the annoying little children bothering him constantly while he was relaxing in his trailer. Let's just say Mitsurugi has had enough. He left his trailer in his alternate outfit…I mean his more casual Kimono that covered only the upper half of his chest, and allowed the world to see the sexy man he is. With his Shishi-Oh in its sheath by his side, he set out to go find a forest, preferably with a lake too.
The crumpling of paper within his sleeve made him come to a halt. Reaching in, he pulled out a black envelope with a golden seal. He opened it carefully as if it were to explode. Neatly folded inside was a letter, he began to read aloud.
"Mitsurugi,
I've wanted you since I first set my eyes on you. Before the fame, before the fortune, when you were auditioning for Soul Calibur. Or rather when you were ripped away from your Wartime Age by money starved producers, and forced to work with others from different time periods or of different worlds. I've read about you in history books, and saw painted pictures of you within them. I fell in-love with you, ever since I started reading up on Japan's history one year ago. If I ever meet you, I'd tear off your…" Mitsurugi trailed off, his eyes growing wide. His face began to fluster as his gaze darted all around, paranoid. "Your True Love, Cynthia." He finished the letter, and dropped it to the ground. He began to walk briskly to the suddenly appearing forest, not caring how it got there, he began to ran. He ran for his life into the shelter of the forest. Finding himself at a beautiful lake with a breath taking waterfall, he sat down, placing his sheathed sword by his side. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, he began to meditate. Get his mind off the lawsuits, whatever those were, get his mind off the annoying cast members, and get his mind off of the thirtieth "love" letter from the same person in four days.
He didn't even know why he stayed at the trailer, maybe it was because he was from a wartime age, and knew nothing outside of producing. Either way, he had a stalker, and cast members bothering him constantly. Then those things with leather bound boxes with rare white paper inside with writing, talking about charges being pressed against him for something about that cameraman. "HI MITSY!" A very annoying shrill girl voice screamed from behind him.
"What now Xianghua? Haven't you bothered me enough?" He snarled, turning around to face the very much naked girl. "What are you doing?" He backed up slowly as the sixteen-year-old advanced towards him, trying to seduce him with a very ostentatious shaking of the hips as she walked.
"Mitsy…I have a secret." She giggled seductively, but Mitsurugi wasn't convinced.
"Yeah, and I'm disturbed. I'm nine years older than you, don't you already have a boyfriend?" He massaged his temples, annoyed with the girl's perkiness.
"Yeah, and I'm perfectly fine with it." A man in a blinding white bondage outfit came crawling from the shadows.
"Voldo, are those dildos instead of your usual claw things?" Mitsurugi shielded his eyes from the rather disgusting older man.
"We want you Mitsurugi. We decided that we want you to be our third partner when we have mad pig sex in the mud outside of the studios where Lizardman likes to watch." Xianghua nodded feverishly, and ran over to kiss bondage boy.
"Disgusting. Begone, before I have to kill you." Mitsurugi threatened unsheathing his Shishi-Oh.
"Oh, feisty. He likes being rough!" Voldo hissed, and leaped onto Mitsurugi grinding himself against the poor samurai.
"GET OFF ME WHITE ASS!" Mitsurugi ran his blade through Voldo, before bondage boy could do any more harm. A loud wail came from the older man as he jumped of, blood staining his white outfit. Instantaneously the gaping wound healed.
"That won't kill him, my sex kitten." Xianghua purred, scampering up to Mitsurugi petting the top of his head. He slapped her hand away that tried to grab his very precious area. "Oh I like it rough." Xianghua straddled him, and began to scream and claw his face. "OH MITSURUGI! HARDER BABY! HARDER!" She moaned as he threw wild punches at her.
"RAPE!" Mitsurugi cried out, very much scared for his manhood and his sanity. He thrusting his sword into Xianghua's heart. "The name's Mitsurugi, don't you forget it!" He palmed her in the face, watching the girl fly into Voldo.
"My lover…" She reached up for one of Voldo's dildo fingers. "You must go on without me." Xianghua slowly faded from view, going back to whatever time period she was from. Mitsurugi's eyes grew wide, Xianghua was impaled on his sword and took it with her! He was defenseless.
"Lover boy…" Voldo hissed, creeping closer to the stunned samurai.
"Get away from me, you freak!" Mitsurugi slapped away the invading object going towards his mouth. Voldo attempted once more, only for the dildo finger to be grabbed my Mitsurugi. "NO MORE!" He snapped it in half, and a cry erupted from Voldo's lips. The wound on his stomach reopened and began to bleed.
"HOW COULD YOU?" Voldo charged weakly, Mitsurugi just grabbed another one of the dildo fingers and snapped it in half. Voldo fell to the ground his one arm broken. He wept as Mitsurugi broke each one in half, and stopped before he broke the last one.
"I said no. Why aren't you dead yet?" Mitsurugi kicked the now red bondage boy, and stared at the broken and deformed body of Voldo. He grabbed the last one and snapped it in half. Voldo's head exploded, condoms flying everywhere instead of brains. He too faded from view. Mitsurugi could tell this was the beginning of a bad day.