Freedom has it's price
I'm dying. I know that's not a good way to start a story but I'm dying. I have decided that I'm going to write my journey from when I was born to now. Not my whole story because that would be boring. Im only going to tell you what really matters. This will be my story from my view without anyone else's opinion.
My name is Arabella. I'm not the typical teenage girl and I never will be. My best friend is guy and no I don't have a crush on him. I'm sixteen and no I can't drive. I was born on June 6th, 1997. I was born to a loving mother and a horrible father. My father hated me and my mother ,but wouldn't let us leave. We lived on a secluded farm miles away from the closest town. It wasn't till my mother fell ill and died that I wanted to leave. I had spent my first six years with my mother as the only friend I needed and wanted.
My Mother died when I was six and that was the day that forever changed my life. My father, full of hate, cried for the first time. I had never seen my father show any emotion toward my mother or me. As I was six, I asked a question I wish I never had. "Why did you hate Mommy?" It wasn't till that very moment that I realized why my father hated my auburn hair and blue eyes.
My mother and fathers wedding had been arranged. My father thought it would be a good thing but my mother didn't want to get married. My mother had never even met my father and swore she would never love him. My father told me that she had fallen In love with a boy from the nearby town. Every night she would sneak out. Even after their wedding she would sneak out and my father wouldn't say anything. It wasn't till my mother got pregnant that my father started to care. I was born a year after my parents got married.
When I was born and my father looked at my auburn and saw my blue eyes that he realized I wasn't his child. My father tried to get my mother to admit that she had cheated
but she never would. My father said that he would let her leave if she would admit she had cheated. But she never would so he would never let her leave. My mother would never realize that her own pride would cause her pain as well as me pain.
I don't think my mother ever realized that her wrong doings would come back to haunt me. I had ended up just like her. A couple of years after her death I started longing to visit the nearby town. I was a thirteen year old teenager who was curious. I knew my father would kill me if he knew I wanted to go to town; especially if I snuck out. One summer night I snuck out and headed toward town. I ran for two hours and finally reached the town. It had seemed like a lifetime. But I kept running.
The town was the most elegant thing I had ever seen with my own eyes. I had seen pictures of old buildings but it didn't even come close. As I walked down the streets I saw houses that were from the early 1900s. The town had almost nothing but historic houses and shops. The streets were lit up like Christmas trees and full of greenery. I was so caught up in the beauty that I didn't even notice a boy following me. It wasn't until he ran into a bench that I noticed him. As soon as I turned around to see what the noise was he was running away.
'Hey! What are doing following me?" I screamed at the top of my lungs to stop the boy. I'm pretty sure I woke up the whole town that night. The boy stopped and looked as though he was pondering what he could do or say. But he took off running again and so did I. The boy didn't think I could run fast. The boy had thought he had gotten away when I caught him. "Were you following me? Why were you following me?" I asked as I tackled him. "Get off me!" the boy had screamed that till I finally released my grip. "Why were you following me?" I asked but the boy replied "Why did you attack me?"
I finally realized that the boy was very nicely dressed and looked to be around to be my age. He was about to walk to into a very nice house. The boy must have seen me walking and was curious about what I was doing. "I'm Arabella" I said while putting my hand out to shake his hand. The boy seemed puzzled but took my hand. "I'm Henry." That was the day I made my first friend.
Every night since I met Henry, I would sneak out to spend time with him. Since my father wouldn't let me go to school, Henry would teach me. Henry would teach me how to read and write. After a while we started talking about running away but I would never commit. I learned that I lived in the French countryside. Henry was only person I could talk too.
It wasn't till a couple of months ago that my father told me I was to marry my neighbor's son. That night I couldn't tell Henry that I had to marry some boy. I pretended that everything was okay and that my life couldn't get any better. How could I tell my best friend I would live the rest of my life miserable? I would do anything not to marry someone I didn't love. How could I putmy husband through that? It was just wrong and I wouldn't and couldn't do that to another person. That was day that my world started to come crashing down.
Now we have come to part of the story where I tell you I'm why dying but I think I'm going to go back in time.
When I was little I remember how festive Christmas was. My father would be somewhat nice and wouldn't be so mean. It was my favorite time of year because we all got along. The first Christmas without my mother was horrible. There was no tree, no presents, and my father was everything but nice. Everything was my fault and he was always yelling at me. I didn't understand why he was so rude, but Christmas morning I found out why. My father didn't know what to get me and had been stressing out about what to get me. When I woke up that morning a fresh Christmas tree with barely any ornaments had appeared and had presents underneath. At first I thought it was the man, Santa Clause, my mother had always said brought me gifts. But when my father woke up, looking as though he had only had a hours sleep, I knew he had got me the tree and gifts. Looking back on my past I would have to say that is my favorite memory from my childhood.
Now let's get back to a couple months ago. A week after my father told me I would have to marry a complete Stanger, I started getting horrible headaches. They were constant and I couldn't get rid of them. I couldn't leave my bed for most of the day and I wasn't eating or drinking. My father started to panic. He was always trying to make me eat and kept going into town to get me medication. After a week or two the headaches got worse. My father finally decided that I needed to see a doctor, but it was too late.
The doctor came in and asked how I was feeling. The man was very boring and all I wanted to do was chop my head off to stop the pain. After talking to him for a while, the doctor decided that I needed to have test done. The test would have to be done in town. My father about had a heart attack. He had forbidden me from going to town and now it was going to town or me being in pain.
My father stayed in his room for two days trying to decide what to do. I knew that if he let me go to town, he would make sure I didn't end up like my mother. I had my own fears. Henry had said his father was a doctor and that if I ever got sick I could see his father. I knew that if I told my father to go see a specific doctor that he would know I had been sneaking out. As much as I loved the thought of freedom I would do as my father wished and marry who he want me to.
When my father came out he went straight for the alcohol. I knew that wasn't a good sign because he had given up drinking years ago. "I know that you have been sneaking out every night." My father said that statement without pause and I saw my world come crashing down. "I have followed you every night and I know you aren't like your mother. I know you and that boy are just friends. I also know that you have decided to marry the boy next door because I asked you to. But I was just testing you. You don't have to marry that boy if you don't want to. I won't make you feel like a prisoner, I just think that he would be kind to you. And he lives in town." I found that I finally understood that my father did love me but that I reminded him of my mother. After all these years of thinking he hated me I had been wrong, he had loved me as though I was his own daughter. To me he was my father and I was his daughter.
Now it was my time to be the the person my mother wouldn't. My mother should have tried to be a good wife and love my father. She should have tried to make it work or leave him to find a person who would love him.
"I will marry that boy because you asked me to. Henry is just my friend and I think that if I hadn't had him all these years, I would be completely insane. I know you had forbidden me to go to town but I just had to see it once and I fell in love with it. I'm sorry father, I truly am. But I'm not like my mother, I will not lie, cheat, and let my own pride cause me unhappiness." I told my father what I had wished to tell him for years. "I know you are nothing like your mother. Now go pack we are going to town to take you to the hospital." When my father said that we were going to town I knew that something must have been terribly wrong with me.
On our way to town I remember seeing a tears in my father's eyes. I couldn't believe that I finally got to go to town but I didn't like why. I wish I could have been going to town to see Henry. I hadn't seen Henry in weeks and I felt horrible. When we got to the hospital, I was in complete shock. The building was the biggest building I had ever seen. When Henry had talked about where his father worked, I had never imagined this. It was an overwhelming sight. The large white building that looked to have fifty floors. I had never seen anything so plain but so amazing.
My father walked to me to the front of the hospital, and I felt as though I was spinning. Then I passed out for the first time in my life. Next thing I know I'm in a bed with my father in one chair and Henry in the other chair. When I tried sitting up, Henry stopped me. "Arabella, no. You don't need to put too much stress on your body." I had no clue what Henry was talking about and I didn't want to.
"What happened?" I could barely manage to say two words. "You passed out and hit a chair. Your body was overwhelmed and it couldn't take it." Henry sounded like he had lost all hope. That's when the man that look like an older version of Henry walked in. "Arabella, I've heard so much about you. My son talks about you quite frequently. I'm Doctor Sexy (Supernatural refrence), I will be your doctor." I wondered if Henry had asked him to be my doctor, but what would it matter. I knew I would be in good hands because he was Henry's father. "I would like to do some test on you. I will have to give you medication that knocks you out for the test. I will give you the medication in a couple minutes." As I hear the doctor talk about the test will do, I see my father about to start crying and Henry as well. Seeing Henry and my father crying made me feel like I was going to die. I knew I needed to have hope but with them crying how could I. I would only have hope if they had hope.
The doctor gave me the medication and within a couple minutes I was asleep. I woke up several hours later in a different room. Henry nor my father were there. It was just me in the white room. After a couple minutes, which felt like hours, Henry's father walked in. "The test went smoothly with no problems. We will get the results back in a couple hours. You will be moved to the room you were in before. Henry and your father are waiting for you there. I will see you when I get the test results."
They took me back to my room and Henry was waiting for me. "Your father went to get food." As soon as I got still I fell asleep. I dreamed of my mother and what it would be like if she hadn't died. Would have I ever met Henry or sneak out to see the town? Would I have ever find out that my father did love me? Would I be here? Would I be sick? I couldn't answer the questions and didn't want to.
I woke up when my doctor walked in. He looked as though he had been crying. That's when I knew that something was terribly wrong. I knew he would say I was dying and I couldn't do anything but die. "Arabella, I'm so sorry. Your test shows a tumor on your brain. We can't remove it. If we tried you would die trying to remove it." The doctor practically ran out after saying I was going to die.
What happened after that has no meaning. We called off my "engagement". Henry and I spent as much time as possible together. My father hasn't left my side and does nothing but cry. I'm going to die. I don't know when I will die. I don't know what will happen to everyone after I die. But I do know that life will move on because I am just one person out of a couple billion.