A/n: I haven't written a Harry Potter fanfic in ages, so I hope this is decent. I just heard the song and I had to write for it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything associated with it. Also I do not own the song.
So This Is Christmas
What Have You Done
Another Year Over
And A One Just begun
"Go figure." Blaise Zabini thought as he crept towards the closet. Through the door was closed, the sounds of sobbing could be heard throughout the floor. It wasn't uncommon for the sounds of sobbing to come from this closet late at night. Most first years had come to believe it was haunted. To Blaise, it was haunted because every time he approached the door he had a feeling of fear and dread that something horrible had happened. He had spent a lot of time going to that room, and it killed him every time. The war was killing him slowly and he was neutral. But everyday that the war was going on, he felt like he was losing himself to the unknown cause.
He reached for the door and twisted it open, slightly surprised to find it open. The fact that the door was open filled Blaise with even more dread. What was so upset that could lead to forgetting to lock the door, the door was always locked when occupied. It wasn't a big closet but he cracked the door open and slid through the gap. He lock the door behind him, merely as a safety precaution, and dropped to his knees. His arms groped the darkness until he brushed up against cold skin. He sighed as he reached forward into the darkness and pulled the sobbing shadow into his arms and whispered softly in a kind tone, "Why are you crying, love? It's Christmas."
And So This Is Christmas
I Hope You Have Fun
The Near And The Dear Ones
The Old And That Young
Turning the photograph in his hand, Seamus allowed a tear to drop from his eye. It wasn't fair! What did he do to deserve to be alone of Christmas? Sure he wasn't alone, there were other Gryffindor roaming around the common room. But they were happily enjoying each others company. There was only one person whom he wanted to share his company with, but he had no idea where this person was, or even if they were alive. The distance was driving him mad. Well maybe not the physical distance, because he had no idea how far that was, but the mental ties that were severed, that's what hurt him.
A box laid of the bed like glass, so fragile and delicate. Filled with small paintings and drawings of a better time. Forever, that's how long they were supposed to be together. That was what was written on the back of the photograph. They were forever. This year hadn't been the wonderful year they had planned. They were suppose to be the big seventh years, it was going to be their year on top. But it wasn't. All he hoped was out there his love was somewhere safe and far away from danger.
A Very Merry Christmas
And A Happy New Year
Lets Hope It's A Good One
Without Any Fear
Love was something that Zacharias Smith hadn't thought to find a Hogwarts. He was going to go to school and then find love later on in life, long after his time at school. But that plan was ruined. He had found someone that had touched his heart. Someone that he strived to protect with his heart. His own best friend and lover. But at this moment, he hated being in love and everything associated with the matter. He hated feeling vulnerable. He hated that the one person he loved was in danger of being taken away from him. It wouldn't be the first time his lover was in a dangerous situation due to their blood, but this time meant so much more disastrous consequences.
Was it wrong that he was glad they were far apart? At least since his love was off, probably on some exotic location. But that meant his love was safe, away from this war. He was always against the war, but now it was personal. He knew some of the students were starting to show their disrespect against the new authority, and he helped, at times. But for the most part he just sat around. He wanted to wake up with a small body pressed against his, soft hair lingering in the crook of his neck. He wanted to wake up without fearing that he would wake up alone.
So This Is Christmas
For Weak And For Strong
For Rich And The Poor Ones
The World Is So Wrong
The Christmas tree in the Room of Requirement looked beautiful, decorated with ornaments and lights. Zacharias stared at the tree's beauty. The Hufflepuff common room usually had a beautiful tree as well. But this year there was no tree, no holiday cheer. He knew he should have gone home over Christmas. But being here, at Hogwarts, he felt like there was a chance that things would work out. He would wake up Christmas morning, his lover sitting on the edge holding out a present for him to open.
His hand gently touched the pine of the tree. There were already ordainments on the tree, mostly put up by members of the DA, but there was one that Zacharias was waiting to put on alone. Reaching into his bag he drew out a an ordainment in the shape of two hearts intertwined. It was his favorite, well his favorite as of last year. His lover gave it to him last year, they had put it on the tree as the symbol of their love. But this year he was alone.
A creaked echoed across the room and Zacharias's head whipped around to see who else dared to break curfew to come here. Seamus entered the room, observing Zacharias, but kept walking up to the tree. He gave a nod, his way of observing Zacharias's right to be into room. Reaching into his bag he drew out a small globe ornament. It was painted in bright happy colors that displayed the Gryffindor common room at Christmas. It was Seamus favorite, as present given to him by his best friend in their first year. He looked a Zacharias, almost as if asking for permission, before hanging the ornament next to his. He sighed looking at the Christmas tree, "Is it me, or does this feel wrong?"
And So Happy Christmas
For Black And For White
"Love," Blaise hushed, his fingers tangled in his lovers hair. "You have to tell me what's wrong or there is no way I can help you."
"Everything is so messed up." The figure cried, tightening the grip on Blaise.
"Why is everything messed up?" Blaise asked, completely patient. This was something Blaise had come to find routine. As sad as that made him. "You know you can tell me anything love."
"I'm going to die." His loved cried into his arms.
Blaise tightened his grip, his jaw clenched, "Theodore Nott, you are not allowed to speak like that."
Theo let out a sob and tried to pull away ashamed, but Blaise held him tight. "My-my-my fa-father thinks." He kept sobbing, each sob getting close together.
"What?" Blaise asked softly, loosening his grip. He knew he had to be kind to Theo when it came to his father, it was the one thing that broke Theo every time. "What does your father think?"
"He-he-he thinks it's time for me to get the mark." His voice was quiet and low, he's sobs subsiding. He was trying to be strong, but that wasn't the Theo he loved. He loved Theo because he was kind, sensitive, different from the others.
Blaise wrapped his arms around Theo and pulled him in to his lap. He cradled the exhausted boy. "I will never let anything like that to happen to you." He whispered softly into Theo's ear. He could feel his shirt gain moisture from the tears falling from both his own eyes and Theo's. "I love you too much."
For Yellow And Red Ones
Lets Stop All The Fight
"Of course this is wrong." Zacharias spat, he was known for being quite bitter, and this was no exception. "This year has been so screwed up. This just isn't Hogwarts."
"I know what you mean," Seamus said putting a gentle hand on the other man's shoulder. He tried to give a comforting smile, but it just wasn't in him to smile at the moment. "Some mornings I wake up and look over at his bed, hoping he'll be there, sleeping safely."
Zacharias looked over at the Gryffindor who had tears gathering in his eyes. Suddenly Zacharias felt guilty, at least he knew Justin was safe, even if he didn't know where he was. "Have you heard anything from him?"
"Nothing," he said, not making eye contact "He didn't even say good-bye. The last thing I told him was he was a coward for wanting to leave."
A Very Merry Christmas
And A Happy New Year
Lets Hope It's A Good One
Without Any Fear
Blaise tried to wipe the tears from his eyes, he needed to be strong for Theo. But it just wasn't working. Each tear fell harder than the last. He wanted to fix everything, he wanted to protect Theo, but that really wasn't an option. Carefully, Theo reached up and wiped the tears from his boyfriend's eye softly. Blaise could feel his eyes start to tear up even more at the gesture. Theo just looked up at Blaise, "Please don't cry."
Blaise smiled sadly as he leaned in and kissed Theo's head, "Anything you want." Granted it was hard for him not to cry, but he knew Theo always felt bad when Blaise cried. There was only one thing Blaise could do at that moment. He whispered lumos as his wand illuminated the small closet. He was planning on doing this later after Christmas dinner, but it was Christmas and this would be a wonderful moment to give Theo his present.
Reaching in his bag he pulled out a small box. Theo just looked up, his eyes questioning each and every move. Blaise just smiled, he had played out this moment over and over again, and though this was not the way he planned to do it, he knew it was right. "I love you Theo, always have and I will forever" Slowly he opened the box and took at a platinum ring with the word forever in graved on it. Theo's mouth hung ajar just staring at Blaise as if he were debating if this was real. Blaise ignored Theo's face, having already anticipated it, and reached for his hand. He slid the ring onto Theo's boney finger, "Will you spend forever with me?"
So This Christmas
What Have You Done
Another Year Over
A New One Just Begun
"I have to leave," Dean said, sitting on the grass, the wind rippling through his hair. The sun was setting and the change of colors illuminated Dean's eyes. He just started out towards the sunset, not even making contact with Seamus.
Seamus just stared at him in total disbelief, "No, you don't. You don't know that you're muggle born. You might be a half-blood. Just stay and go to school!."
There were tears forming in Dean's eyes, but Seamus was blind with anger and didn't notice. "Seamus." the artist's voice was soft and defeated, "If I go to school they will find me. They will kill me. Is that really what you want?"
Logic wasn't even lingering in Seamus' mind. If he had been thinking logically, that would have been an excellent argument, and Seamus would back down. But he only had one thing on his mind and that was staying close to Dean. "You can claim to be half-blood. If someone say's you are a half-blood, they'll believe you. Don' you want to back out of your last year at Hogwarts?"
"Love," Dean said, trying to reason, "That won't work. As much as I would love to stay with you, I can't."
"You're a coward Dean Thomas, a bloody coward." Seamus spat fill with venom.
Sparking tears dripped down Dean's dark face. He could do this. He walked dejectedly over to Seamus. Leaning down, he placed a small kiss on his boyfriends lips. "Good-bye Seamus," He whispered as he walked off, leaving Seamus to wallow in his sorrow.
So Happy Christmas
We Hope You Have Fun
The Near And the Dear Ones
The Old And The Young
Zacharias paced the room, every few steps glancing over to the bed to look at the perfect boy laying on his stomach watching him. When he reached the wall of the large room he turned and faced the other boy. "Okay," Zacharias said firmly. "If you're leaving I want to come with you."
Justin smiled softly back. But for a smile it was filled with sadness. "I would love you to come with me-"
"Great than that's settled." Zacharias decided, cutting his boyfriend off mid sentence.
Justin laughed sweetly. "You need to finish up your year-"
"You're not." Zacharias pointed out. "and if your not than why should I?"
Justin broke the eye contact, looking anywhere but Zacharias. "Because I can't go back, you can. And anyway, it's not safe for you to get caught with me."
Sighing defeated, Zacharias trudged over to the beg and wrapped Justin in an inviting hug. The other boys body shook trying to fight off the tears that were coming into his eyes. "I would feel better if I were with you." Just looked up at his boyfriend questioningly. Zacharias just pushed a piece of hair out of his lover's eye. "That why I can know your safe."
The smaller boy blushed slightly, and Zacharias saw, but he figured this would be the wrong moment to call him on it. "I'll be safe. My parents are sending me far away from England."
Zacharias choked on his bitter laugh, "That doesn't make me feel better. I won't be able to talk to you for who knows how long." Then, in an almost inaudible voice he added. "I won't even know if you're alive."
Justin leaned up and kissed Zacharias with all the passion he had in his body. Their tongues twisting in a tango. When they pulled apart Justin looked at his boyfriend. "You'll know. Trust me, you'll know."
A Very Merry Christmas
And A Happy New Year
Lets Hope It's A Good One
Without Any Fear
"Hey, there you are," Blaise slipping into the room. The noise from the party still raged on outside the room. Theo sat in front of the fireplace shirtless just staring into the flames, unresponsive to Blaise's entrance. Walking over, Blaise wrapped his arms around Theo's thin frame pulling him into his arms. Theo stiffened at the touch, "What happened."
Theo didn't look at Blaise, instead he nuzzled into Blaise's shoulder. "My father wanted me to meet some of his friends."
Blaise stiffened at the thought. "You mean--"
"Death Eaters," Theo said weakly snuggling closer into his boyfriend's arms, away from the thoughts of his father and his father's friends.
Blaise's looked down at his boyfriend, so innocent, even if Theo would never admit to it. Softy, he started to hum as his hands gently stoked Theo's long shaggy hair. "Don't worry about them, they can't hurt you with me around."
"What about when your not around?" Theo said, breaking away and looking up at Blaise for the first time.
A smile crept over Blaise's face, "I'll always be around." He leaned forward and kissed Theo's head, "Always."
War Is Over If You Want It
War Is Over Now
The beaches of the Caribbean sea were always best right at sunset. When the dying light would hit each grain of sand changing it into a new, more beautiful color. The colors of the light bouncing off the ripples in the teal waters, it was perfect. Well, nothing was perfect. He should be happy, he was on a nice long vacation. Who wouldn't be happy to be out of school sitting on a beach watching the sunset. Down the beach he could see happy couples enjoying the special moment with the one they loved. That was what he missed. He missed being in love. Well, he was in love, but the problem was, they were separated. Even if it was difficult, he wanted to be at school.
He wanted to study for his N.E.W.T.'s. But no, he had to go away. Away for his own safety. But right about now, he wished he had been brave and risked it. Even if he had died, at least the gnawing pain of being alone wouldn't be eating at his innards. He had never felt that way about a person before. He longed at night to wake up and look at the bed next to him and watch his boyfriend sleep peacefully. When he had a nightmare, he wanted to be able to slip in his boyfriends bed and have him whisper comforting words.
It was Christmas, they should be sitting by a Christmas tree, exchanging presents and kisses under the mistletoe. He couldn't help but be bitter about being so far away. It wasn't either boy's fault, but he couldn't help but blame Zacharias. Because this year instead of asking his parents for things like leather jackets or a new kitten, he didn't feel right. This year the only thing he wanted was Zacharias.
War Is Over If You Want It
War Is Over Now
He wanted to die. He was tired of running and hiding. He was tired of all the deaths. He was tired. All he really need at the moment was a bed and he would sleep for weeks. Preferably curled up in his boyfriends warm arms. What he wouldn't give to just fall asleep listening to Seamus ranting about how evil one of their teachers were. That would be the only melody he would ever want to hear. Though the idea of telling Seamus this would just make the other boy's ego rise beyond compare.
He wished that he could tell Seamus he was sorry for leaving, because he wished they didn't leave on such a sour note. With all the hard times he had been facing, it was getting harder and harder for the artist to picture his boyfriends face. Every night before bed he would close his eyes and try to recreate his face down to the last freckle. It hurt that he couldn't seem to remember. He didn't even know what day it was. The war had taken away his Christmas and his Seamus. Dean was alone.
War Is Over If You Want It
War Is Over Now
Theo looked at Blaise before looking back down at the ring. Tears started to stream down his face but his lips were twisted up in a smile. He gave a nod, Blaise smiled when he heard the whisper, "Forever." Theo's eyes looked back up at Blaise and Blaise's heart jumped at the twinkle in Theo's eye that had been missing for months. "Yes, I want to spent forever with you." And with that Theo threw himself into Blaise, for once not crying but laughing happily.
Blaise felt proud as he hugged Theo back, glad to have the Theo he fell in love with back. Going to stand, Blaise held his hand out to Theo, who took the offered hand, afraid his legs wouldn't hold him. He was right the second he stood he started to sway, but Blaise quickly moved to support his weight. As they exited the closet Blaise heard Theo whisper, "Forever, he's mind forever." happily over and over, as if he didn't believe it.
War Is Over If You Want It
War Is Over Now
Walking out of the room Zacharias and Seamus noticed the two Slytherins. They were about to draw their wands when they noticed the red rimmed eyes of the taller boy. The Slytherins both looked up at the two who were scanning them for signs of attack. Instead the four just nodded at each other. It was Christmas. And even though they didn't say it, it was clear the war was killing them all. They wanted it over. They wanted it over right now.