Feedback: It's much appreciated and just might make me write more, lol.
Quietly, stealthly, he made his way up the metal stairs, using all of his Manticore training to practically glide up the steps, soundless. The building was dark and deserted. Long abandoned, or so one would think upon first glance. Parts of the walls had collapsed over the years and in one section of the former office complex, the walls were blackened and charred, evidence of a fire that had raged there. An ordinary would take one look at the desolate remains and leave. But not her. She was different. He knew without a doubt that he would find her here, on the roof, pensive as always. She loved her high places and since the seige had begun at TC, a little over two months ago, she had been craving the comfort of the Space Needle. But due to the danger outside TC's walls, she had been unable to go there as often as she liked, and he knew she missed it.
As he continued to climb up the long stairway, he knew that this was the next best alternative. While it wasn't the needle, it was the highest building in TC and the most forlone.
She had been acting odd all day. Albeit, she had never been known for her patience but today she was acting even bitchier and testier than usual. While living at TC and being responsible for all its inhabitants had placed a huge strain on her, she had been doing a fairly decent job, especially taking into consideration her lack of training and experience. Or, at least that had been the case up until today, when she had alternated between bouts of sulleness and rage, with no warning in between. Even Logan was avoiding her like the plague, he thought, a smirk flashing across his features. But, the last straw that made him wonder if perhaps her actions and mood swings were more than simple PMS, was when she got into an arguement with Mole. He had been across the room, talking to Dix and Joshua about the raid they were supposed to be planning, leaving Max and Mole to go over the maps for a few minutes, when he saw her hands flailing wildly about in the air, her body tense and coiled. He had been just about to go over and ask what was going on when the next thing he knew, she was bolting out of the room, knocking into him in her haste. He had reached a hand out to steady them both when he had seen something that looked suspiciously like tears gathered in her eyes. But before he could ask the problem, she had brushed past him, her features stoic.
Questioning Mole had proven futile, hearing him mutter the words 'crazy bitch' over and over again through clenched teeth had not provided him with any insight on her particularly unstable behavior. So, rather than sitting there, listening to Mole bitch for the next three hours, he'd decided to go off in search of her. But by the time he'd stepped outside, she was nowhere to be found. Scanning the TC's buildings, his eyes finally came to a rest on the one building that rose above all the others, standing ominously in the distance. Every instinct screamed that this was where he'd find her.
***
She felt, rather than heard, him and she wiped at her eyes before taking a shaky breath. Seconds later, she heard the metal door leading onto the roof being pushed open, the rusted hinges creaking loudly, breaking the silence. Lying on her back, staring up at the numerous stars nestled in the velvet sky, she could feel him watching her.
"I come up here to be alone," she said, breaking the silence, the intensity of his gaze unnerving. Her voice cut through his thoughts and startled him. He hesitated briefly before making his way toward her. Quietly, he sat down beside her, their bodies lightly touching. Lying back, he placed one hand behind his head, mimicking her position as he tried to get comfortable.
"You left before we could finalize tomorrow night's mission," he told her, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. She didn't acknowledge him, her body was still and if not for the gentle rise and fall of her chest, she may have been dead. There was a sadness eminating from her that was almost tangible. He worked his jaw a few times, trying to figure out what was the best way to ask her what was with the stick up her ass all day long without getting the shit kicked out of him in the process. He thought perhaps he needed to rephrase the question.
"Max, what's wrong?" he asked, deciding it was the safest bet.
Silence greeted him once more and he clenched his jaw in frustration. Inhaling sharply, he was just about to heave himself off of the ground and head back to HQ when she spoke, halting his movements.
"It was a year ago today," she whispered, still avoiding his gaze as, he realized, she'd been doing all day.
"What was, Maxie?" he asked, confused.
Ignoring his question, she continued to speak, as though he weren't even there. "It's funny how fast it goes...I, I keep thinking back to that day..." she trailed off, her voice catching lightly. He had to strain to hear her, she was speaking so quietly, lost in her memories.
"What day, Max?" he asked, after several minutes, realizing she wasn't going to continue. He turned his head to the side, watching her.
"The day in the woods," she said softly, never looking at him.
Ben.
Her eyes seemed unusually bright in the night sky and he knew she was trying to gather her composure. "Max," he said gently, trying to capture her attention. Sighing lightly, he tried again,"Max, we've been through this before," he said, referring to the time in her apartment when she'd first confided in him about his twin. "Max, there was nothing you could have done, Manticore was on your tail," he said reasonably, hoping she'd snap out of it.
"Yeah," she said simply, not looking at his face.
"You didn't have any other choice, Max. If Manticore had gotten their hands on him..." he trailed off, shuddering at the thought, memories of his past coming back to haunt him.
"I just wonder sometimes," she said suddenly, distracting him from his dark thoughts. "I mean, why? What caused him to become so lost, so far gone? I mean was it being thrown suddenly into the outside world without a safety net or was it some faulty genetic trait?" she mused outloud, lost in thought.
"Yeah..." Alec said, something in the tone of his voice ripping her from her thoughts. For a second, she had been so wrapped up in in her memories, she had forgotten he was there. She turned to him now, looking at him for the first time that day, and took in his features, the mirror image of Ben. His jaw was clenched and she stared into his eyes, different from Ben's despite their similar features. They held a glimmer of something, though whether it was fear or worry, she wasn't sure.
Hesitantly, she reached her hand out and grasped his large one in hers. Squeezing tentively, she got his attention, his eyes focused on her once more. "You're not like him, Alec," she said matter-of-factly, knowing exactly what he had been thinking. "You're not going to end up like him," she reassured him, giving him the barest of smiles.
Nibbling on his full lower lip, he continued to stare at her for a few seconds before tearing his eyes away. A gentle breeze rippled through the air, providing them with a brief reprieve from the humidity. All too soon it was gone, and once more the air grew heavy.
"Max."
"Hmm?" she said, tilting her body toward him, their fingers still entwined.
"Max, if I ever...if I were to...if I started acting like..." as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he wanted nothing more than to take them back. "Nevermind," he mumbled, feeling her eyes boring into him, uncomfortable under her scruitinizing gaze.
"Alec, look at me," she said. When he failed to comply, she reached her other hand out and grasped his chin, forcing him to look at her, brown eyes meshing with green. "You're nothing like him."
He nodded quickly, wanting nothing more than to end the conversation.
"And, if it were ever to come to that, which it won't, " she said, quickly, "I'd be there for you. We all would. Me, Joshua, hell even Mole," she said, smiling lightly at him.
"Thanks," he said, his voice slightly hoarse before flashing a quick smile in her direction, though it never reached his eyes. Knowing he was uncomfortable, she lay back down, both of them drawing comfort from the other, each knowing that if anyone from TC were to stumble upon them now, they'd think they'd entered an alternative universive. That or they'd been sniffing too much of Joshua's paint fumes.
"I'm sorry," the words seemed to come out of nowhere and she glanced over at him, clearly confused. "For reminding you of him, must have been especially hard today, seeing my face everywhere you turned. I take it that's why you kept avoiding me today," he said, before breaking eye contact, once more staring up at the sky.
"No, don't be. And thank you," she said, suddenly the one to feel uncomfortable. She watched his eyes widen, a shocked expression settling across his features as her uncharacteristic words penetrated and she laughed lightly.
He smiled at the sound before turning away. Following his example, she lay back down, a comfortable silence between them.
"Max?" he murmured.
"Hmm?"
"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you felt like you could confide in me and everything, but why aren't you having this conversation with Logan?"
Instantly, her face grew sullen, her brow furled and her body tensed at his words. Kicking himself for his uncanny ability to piss her off at a moments notice, even when he wasn't trying to, he attempted to back pedal, even while trying to discretely shift his body away from hers in the event she tried to use him as a human punching bag.
"He doesn't know," she said, her voice flat, impervious to his movements.
"He doesn't know what?" Alec asked, halting his movements as her words registered.
"He doesn't know I killed Ben. He thinks it was Manticore."
A million questions launched themselves at him but before he could ask her any of them, she began to speak.
"He wouldn't have understood about Ben. Why I did it..."
Alec nodded, giving her hand a quick squeeze and felt her return it. Part of him wanted to ask her if she should be spending time with someone she couldn't confide in about something so important. He may not know much about love, his only experience with it had resulted in his one true love being murdered, practically by his own hand, but he knew enough to know that loving someone meant you could trust them and confide in them about anything, no matter how difficult. "Must have been hard on you," he said instead, deciding not to push her.
"Yeah, it was," she said simply.
"Max, if you ever want to --"
"Thanks," she said, cutting him off. She flashed a quick smile in his direction before turning away. Minutes passed, both of them lost in thoughts and memories of the past, but Alec knew that time stopped for no one, no matter how much they wished it could. Life went on, responsibilities had to be dealt with despite pain and guilt and this was no exception.
"Max, maybe we should head back to TC, finish planning that raid," he said, hating to distrupt her but knowing they didn't have a choice.
"Five more minutes?"
"Sure," he said. What was a few more minutes?
End