A Moment In Tedium

(And a Horrid Surprise)

This is inspired by a comment made by Jamie Lawrence of mugglecast fame (which is THE best Harry Potter podcast in the world, I insist you download it!) He made a joke about Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore's portraits conversations, and what they would talk about (episode 102). I ran with the idea. Sort of. I plan on doing several.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, and I do not own Harry Potter, therefore, I do not own Remus Lupin, which is a downer. The idea was also Jamie Lawrence's.

Enjoy:

"Severus?"

Snape sighed.

Everyday, that deep, melodic, wise voice had awoken him from his sleep. Which apparently, new portraits needed a fair bit of. He had been pestered mercilessly. Honestly, if he was asked once more about a lemon drop…There may be a repeat of the events at the Astronomy Tower.

"Yes, Albus?"

"The Potters' second child was born today, Dilly's told me while you slept." Dumbledore was beaming, his eyes, as usual, were twinkling. Today, with merriment.

Snape shrugged. Why on Earth should he care?

"Lily's grandchild, you know!" As if he needed reminding. Snape supposed that becoming a portrait took away personality traits, like tact.

"I'm aware of that," Snape said curtly, if Dumbledore needn't be tactful…

Dumbledore was apparently ignoring him. He was so delighted that he was bouncing.

"Would you like to know what he was named?"

Snape did not want to know. He doubted, however, that this would deter Dumbledore. He could not count the number of times he was told that the Potters' first son was named "James." Was he supposed to be elated?

Dumbledore's grin grew even larger.

"Albus Severus."

"What?" Had Dumbledore finally cracked?

"That's the baby's name: Albus Severus."

The walls of his portrait closed around him….It was like a clichéd, muggle horror movie.

Merlin!! What had he done to deserve this? Albus Severus! Severus?! His name, attached to Potter's son? With a brother named James?! If Snape wasn't already dead….

Dumbledore was chuckling. "Quite an honor, don't you think, Severus?"

Snape rolled his eyes. He couldn't speak. Dumbledore clearly enjoyed antagonizing him.

"We need to celebrate! But, how….?"

And, Dumbledore hadn't seemed to realize the limitations of being nothing more than a moving painting.

"Ah, yes, this will do. Care for a lemon drop, Severus?"

……