Heh. I'm back. This is just the first part. There will probably only be one
other part, and then maybe a sequel.
Did you happen to wonder why there was a wolf in Erek and Tobias's cell in the psychiatric hospital? Did you ever wonder how old Crayak is? Do you want to see Marco pretend to shoot April and Rachel? Did you happen to wonder why Jake is always broke? Prepare to find out.
WHY THERE WAS A WOLF IN EREK AND TOBIAS'S CELL
(PART ONE)
By Silver Wolf
CHARACTER LIST
MARCO (AN ANIMORPH- OWNS TOBI-LEE, BEST FRIENDS WITH JAKE HAS AN ONGOING FEUD WITH RACHEL. DARK HAIR AND EYES)
TOBIAS (AN ANIMORPH-OWNS SADIE, BLOND HAIR, GREY EYES. EREK'S BEST FRIEND, RECENTLY ESCAPED FROM THE LUNATIC ASYLUM WITH EREK)
MAC: (THE AUTHOR'S PET WOLF. TRIES TO HELP EREK AND TOBIAS, AS WELL AS KEEP HIS OWNER FROM EATING TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE)
CHRISTOPHER (AN EVEWORLDER-GOOD FRIENDS WITH TOBIAS, ALWAYS TEASING APRIL AND RACHEL)
APRIL (AN EVERWORLDER-LOVES DOGS, GOOD FRIENDS WITH RACHEL, LIKES IRRITATING CHRISTOPHER)
JALIL: (AN EVERWORLDER-THROWS A BRILLIANT PARTY, THE DRODE HIRES HIM FOR CRAYAK'S PARTY)
DAVID: (AN EVERWORLDER-GETS ON REALLY WELL WITH JAKE, HELPS JALIL WITH THE PARTY)
RACHEL (AN ANIMORPH-BLOND, BLUE EYES, CAN'T STAND DOGS, GOOD FRIENDS WITH APRIL.)
EREK (AN ANDROID-HELPS THE ANIMORPHS, TOBIAS'S BEST FRIEND, LOVES DOGS, RECENTLY ESCAPED FROM THE LUNATIC ASYLUM WITH TOBIAS. BOTH ARE CURRENTLY ON THE RUN FROM FIXATED PSYCHIATRISTS)
JAKE: (THE ANIMORPH'S LEADER-MARCO'S BEST FRIEND, RACHEL'S COUSIN. LIGHT BROWN HAIR AND EYES.)
CASSIE: (AN ANIMORPH-RACHEL'S BEST FRIEND, TOTAL ANIMAL NUT. BLACK HAIR AND DARK EYES.)
AX: (AN ANDALITE, ALSO AN ANIMORPH-TOBIAS'S UNCLE, LOVES MOST HUMAN FOOD, ESPECIALLY CINNAMON BUNS. BLUE FUR, STALK EYES, FOUR LEGS, NO MOUTH.)
TOBY HAMEE: (FIRST NARRATOR. ALSO A HORK-BAJIR, AND HAS SOMETHING AGAINST PIZZA.)
ARBRON: (SECOND AND PERMANENT NARRATOR. AN ANDALITE. LIKES PIZZA AND DISLIKES PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITALS.)
VISSER THREE: (THE YEERK LEADER. HAS AN ANDALITE HOST BODY.)
CHAPMAN: (THE ANIMORPHS ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL. A CONTROLLER.)
KYRA: (VISSER THREE'S FIANCÉE, AND MARCO'S COUSIN.)
MELISSA: (CHAPMAN'S DAUGHTER. A CONTROLLER.)
DRODE: (CRAYAK'S RIGHT HAND ALIEN. DOES A LOT OF CRAYAK'S DIRTY WORK FOR HIM.)
MR. PSYCHIATRIST (ONE OF THE TWO PSYCHIATRISTS THAT IS FIXATED WITH CAPTURING TOBIAS AND EREK.)
DR. BRIAN (THE OTHER FIXATED PSYCHIATRIST. HE OWNS THE TEN STAR PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL)
ELLIMIST: (AN ALMOST ALL POWERFUL BEING. LOOKS LIKE A GLOWING BLUE OLD MAN.)
CRAYAK: (ANOTHER ALMOST ALL POWERFUL BEING. ELLIMIST'S ARCHRIVAL AND ROOMMATE. IS GOING TO APPEAR TO BE A HUMAN WITH A BLACK CLOAK ON, WHOSE ONLY VISIBLE FEATURES ARE HIS TWO GLOWING RED EYES.)
THE REPORTER: (REPORTER FOR THE NIGHTLY NEWS)
CASSIE'S DAD: (CASSIE'S DAD)
TOM: (JAKE'S CONTROLLER BROTHER.)
SCENE ONE
TOBY: When we last left the Erek and Tobias, Dr. Brian had just brought a large grey wolf into their cell and they had asked him why. Would anyone like to find out?
DR. BRIAN: I don't know why he wanted to come in here, but do you really think that we were going to tell him no?
EREK: Well, I certainly wouldn't say no to him. I just hope he doesn't want to eat us.
TOBIAS: Me too. I've been nearly eaten by a wolf several times before. I wouldn't like to have the experience completed by actually being eaten.
DR. BRIAN: I'm not going to stay here to find out what he wants, so, bye!
TOBY: Dr. Brian left Erek and Tobias to the wolf. The wolf did a rather unexpected thing. He spoke.
MAC: Hi there! I'm glad he's gone; I was very tempted to eat him.
TOBIAS & EREK: ...um...
MAC: Let me introduce myself. My name is Mac, and I represent the author.
TOBIAS: You mean K.A.A?
MAC: No, I mean Silver Wolf. The one who put you in here?
EREK: Can you tell her that we don't appreciate the whole psycho thing?
TOBIAS: Yeah, it's not like we actually did anything wrong.
EREK: I thought Silver Wolf liked us. She always stars us in her scripts.
MAC: Yeah, well...when I said that I represent the author, I don't actually mean that she knows that I'm here. I'm here to apologize to you on her behalf. You see, when you mix Silver Wolf, and too much coke/chocolate/lollies, she gets rather hyper.
TOBIAS: If she gets hyper on coke, what was she on when she wrote the last two scripts?
MAC: I honestly don't know.
TOBIAS: I don't suppose, that while you're here, you'd help is escape?
MAC: To be quite honest, that was my main reason for coming here. I just needed you to ask me. It's some dumb rule about being a fanfic writer's pet. You two wouldn't have a plan, would you? It would make things a lot easier.
TOBIAS: I don't, what about you, Erek?
EREK: I'm starting to get an idea. Give me a few minutes to think about it and I'll let you know if it'll work.
TOBY: Erek thought about his plan for approximately thirty seconds before grinning at Tobias and Mac.
EREK: I think I have the perfect plan.
TOBY: While Erek told Tobias and Mac about his plans, Cassie was telling Marco and Rachel one of her own.
CASSIE: What I want to do is get some money. I was broke before the Ellimist's party, and now.
MARCO: So how can we help? Not to mention get some cash of our own.
CASSIE: I say we rob a bank.
RACHEL: And how exactly are we supposed to do that?
CASSIE: We morph. And we only take money out of the account of someone we know.
RACHEL: Who?
CASSIE: I don't know.
MARCO: Jake's parents give him heaps of pocket money, and he puts half of what he gets each week in the bank. He's almost as loaded as Tobias, except that he doesn't spend it.
RACHEL: Where does Tobias get all that money anyway?
CASSIE: Who cares? Let's just rob a bank already!
TOBY: So Cassie morphed a wolf, Marco morphed a gorilla and Rachel morphed a grizzly bear. They robbed Jake's account and went to buy ice creams to celebrate their bank robbing success. Meanwhile, back at the Ten Star Psychiatric Hospital...
MAC: You want me to WHAT???
EREK: Steal the Escafil Device out of Ax's scoop. Tobias and I will break outta here and you'll meet us in the deserted shack in the woods.
MAC: Is this really a good idea?
TOBIAS: No, but it's the only one we've got.
MAC: True
SCENE TWO
TOBY HAMEE: Back in Cassie's barn, the Animorphs were trying to come up with a plan to fight the Yeerks before Visser Three's wedding to Marco's cousin Kyra, when suddenly the door flew open to reveal two really ticked off looking men in white lab coats.
JAKE: Who are you and what do you want?
DR. BRIAN: I'm Dr. Brian, and this is Mr. Psychiatrist. We're from the Ten Star Psychiatric Hospital, and we're looking for some former companions of yours.
CHRISTOPHER: Do you mean Erek and Tobias?
MR. PSYCHIATRIST: Yes. Are they here?
APRIL: What do you mean? They were taken away by you men in white coats a few months ago!
MARCO: Why did you think they would be here?
DR. BRIAN: They escaped. A few days ago. We still haven't found them.
RACHEL: (in alarm) Has the public been warned that there are dangerous psychos on the loose?
MR. PSYCHIATRIST: Uh, well, that was our next step if you hadn't seen them.
TOBY: That evening, on the nightly news... In Cassie's lounge room...
THE REPORTER: And an urgent warning for the citizens of Ten Star. Two escaped mental patients are on the loose. Citizens are warned that these certified lunatics are extremely dangerous. If sighted, they should not be approached. They are armed, insane and very unpredictable.
CASSIE'S DAD: That doesn't sound good, does it, Cass?
CASSIE: No, Dad, it doesn't.
THE REPORTER: The names of these two are Erek and Tobias The Police and the psychiatrists of the Ten Star Psychiatric Hospital believe that the two will stay together.
MR. PSYCHIATRIST: (on the TV news) Erek and Tobias are extremely close friends. We believe that they will devise a way to get out of the country. They may be insane, but they are also extraordinarily smart.
THE REPORTER: and to other news, wild animals raided the local bank...
TOBY: Cassie quickly turns the TV off and hopes Jake wasn't watching. She didn't want him to know that she, Marco and Rachel had robbed the bank. Mainly because they only took money out of Jake's account. In Jake's bedroom...
JAKE: I can't believe it! All of my money has disappeared from my bank account! (Jake turns on the TV just in time to see the beginning of the report about wild animals and the bank)
THE REPORTER: and to other news, wild animals raided the local bank...
TOBY: Jake watched the report, and then called Marco, Cassie and Rachel. He convinced them to give him his money back. It only took him a few minutes.after threatening to attack them as a tiger while they were asleep.
SCENE THREE
TOBY: In a shack in the woods, we find two certain escaped mental patients, devising a plan of some sort.
TOBIAS: How do you expect me to be able to make this?
EREK: I just thought that if you can build bombs, you'd certainly be able to reconfigure the Escafil device.
TOBIAS: The bomb was a piece of cake compared to this!
EREK: Speaking of cake, I'm starved. When can we get something to eat?
TOBIAS: Well, by now the shrinks will have told the media that we're loose, so we'll need your hologram to disguise us. Where do you want to go?
EREK: I was thinking maybe Pizza Hut? What do you reckon?
TOBIAS: Sure, sounds good to me.
TOBY: So Erek and Tobias, disguised by Erek's hologram, went and bought a large pizza with absolutely everything and a bottle of Pepsi. They then went back to the shack in the woods to eat it.
EREK: So, Tobias. When do you think you will have that Escafil device finished?
TOBIAS: Didn't I mention that I couldn't do this?
EREK: Several times. So?
TOBIAS: Oh, day after tomorrow, probably.
TOBY: While Erek and Tobias were pigging out on pizza, their friends, both Animorph and not, were also having fun, although not all of them were together. At Marco's place...
MARCO: I'm hungry.
CHRISTOPHER: Me too.
MARCO: Wanna order a pizza?
CHRISTOPHER: With everything?
MARCO: Naturally.
TOBY: Marco ordered his pizza, and he and Christopher ate until they couldn't eat any more. They ran out of pizza. At Jake's house...
TOM: You hungry, midget?
JAKE: Starved. Say Tom, a friend of mine recommended this new pizza restaurant. Do you want to go?
TOM: Sure. Dad left us money to order, but I'm game to try the new place.
JAKE: Then let's go.
TOBY: Yep, that's right, Jake and Tom ate pizza too. At Rachel's place...
CASSIE: So you still game to go eat that pizza you owe me for?
RACHEL: Well, I'm hungry, so the pizza sounds really good.
APRIL: Sounds good to me too.
CASSIE: Then we'll go to the mall, and then we eat the pizza at the food court.
RACHEL: Sounds good to me.
APRIL: Come on, let's go.
TOBY: I'm wondering if there's a pizza conspiracy that I wasn't warned about. At Ax's scoop...
DRODE: Checkmate.
AX: Damn you Drode!
DRODE: Huh?
AX: Damn is a mild human swearword.
DRODE: Oh. You hungry?
AX: Starved, actually. I ate some grass, but I'm in the mood for pizza.
DRODE: Hm. Let's order some!
AX: Sure!
TOBY: Even the aliens are getting into the act! Grrrr! At Chapman's house...
MELISSA: Visser Three, when I pass Go, as the banker, you have to give me $200. It's in the rules!
KYRA: She's right, sweetie. See? (Shows him the rules). Right there.
VISSER THREE: Oh, all right. Chapman!
CHAPMAN: Yessir?
VISSER THREE: Could you order a pizza? We're all hungry.
CHAPMAN: No problem Visser. I'll order it now.
TOBY: Okay, now it's just plain not funny. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the Ellimist and Crayak were eating a pizza! Somewhere in the universe...
ELLIMIST: Hey Crayak!
CRAYAK: Yeah?
ELLIMIST: I'm hungry. What do you feel like eating?
CRAYAK: Well, I wouldn't mind some pizza.
TOBY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!
ELLIMIST: What's wrong with her?
CRAYAK: (Shrugs and creates a pizza right on the spot) I don't know.
TOBY: IS EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE EATING PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAARRRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET ME AWAY FROM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs around wildly for a few seconds, then runs off stage.)
SCENE FOUR
ARBRON: Hi there! My name's Arbron. I'm going to be the narrator from now on, because Toby went insane when everyone was eating pizza at the same time. It was sort of freaky, but... Okay, I got off track there. Anyway, Rachel, Cassie, April, Marco, Christopher and Ax were in the barn when Jake got there. He had Tom with him.
RACHEL & APRIL: TOM! What are you doing here?
MARCO: Do you two practice that?
APRIL: Occasionally.
TOM: I'm here because Jake dragged me here. He told me you had some sort of problem...
CHRISTOPHER: We do! We need your help moving some stuff to a cabin in the woods. Will you help?
TOM: Sure, no problem.
ARBRON: So they led Tom to the cabin in the woods, while they were all carrying some stuff in sacks, but they didn't tell Tom what it was. Once they got there...
APRIL: Hey! It looks like someone has been staying here!
CASSIE! But no one other than the Ani.us.knows where it is!
MARCO: I have a bad feeling about this...
CHRISTOPHER: So do I, Marco, so do I.
JAKE: Like what?
CHRISTOPHER: Well, we aren't the only ones who know about it.
TOM: Who else does?
JAKE: Yeah, who?
MARCO: Tobias and Erek!
TOM: You mean those escaped mental patients? How do they know?
CHRISTOPHER: Because they're our friends...
TOM: Have you had any contact from them since they escaped?
RACHEL: No. Anyway, Jake, don't we have something to tell Tom?
JAKE: Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that!
TOM: What do you have to tell me?
CASSIE: Just that we need you to go inside and grab a rope for Chris to use to hang hi -
CHRISTOPHER: Don't say it!
CASSIE: Say what?
CHRISTOPHER: You were going to say; for Chris to use to hang himself, weren't you!
CASSIE: Actually, I was going to say for you to hang your clothes on to dry when you washed them...
CHRISTOPHER: Oh yeah, heh heh, I forgot.
TOM: Sure, whatever.
ARBRON: So Tom went into the cabin, grabbed the rope, and turned to leave.
JAKE: NOW!!!
ARBRON: Jake, Cassie and April slammed the door shut and locked it.
TOM: HEY!!! What do you think you're doing??? Open the door right now!! Jake!!
JAKE: We aren't going to let you out yet, Tom. Not for a few days, in fact.
TOM: What are you going to tell our parents?
JAKE: Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. They wont have any idea.
TOM: Jake, why are you doing this?
APRIL: Simple. We don't like slugs.
TOM: Huh?
RACHEL: You heard her; we don't like slugs. Or snails.
MARCO: And you are a slimy slug. Controlling Tom. So we don't like you.
TOM: (Laughing a little nervously) What are you freaks going on about?
CHRISTOPHER: You know what we're talking about, Yeerk.
TOM: (Staring) How - how do you know about us?
AX: (Demorphs to Andalite) Because of my brother. Irritating moron that he was.
TOM: Andalite! But...
JAKE: But what, Yeerk?
TOM: Jake, how do you know about us?
JAKE: Because of Elfangor. He gave us the power to morph, yada yada yada, all of that, you were there at the construction site...
TOM: That was you? Who else was there, Jake?
JAKE: Me, Marco, Rachel, Cassie, and...
TOM: And?
MARCO: Tobias. You know, the dangerous psycho.
TOM: You four used to hang out with a crazy guy?
RACHEL: He wasn't always crazy...
TOM: He wasn't?
MARCO: Not until he and Erek built a bomb and started plotting world domination. They went mad shortly before that.
TOM: Oh. So, who are you're other friends?
CASSIE: Christopher and April. They lived in EverWorld for a while, but then decided to come live here.
TOM: And the Andalite?
RACHEL: He's Elfangor's younger brother. His name is Ax.
TOM: Nice to meet you all.
ARBRON: They kept Tom in the cabin until his Yeerk died. But I suppose you're wondering why Tobias and Erek didn't find them. The answer is this: they had taken their headquarters to a different location. A small place through a cave. It was a nice place that no one else knew was there, so no one would find them and report it to the police. In Tobias and Erek's HQ...
EREK: I thought you'd have that Escafil device reconfigured by now.
TOBIAS: What do you think I am, a rocket scientist?
EREK: Well, you are pretty good at that sort of stuff...
TOBIAS: That doesn't mean that I'm a rocket scientist.
EREK: So when will you have it done by?
TOBIAS: Five hours ago.
EREK: You mean that you've finished?
TOBIAS: Uh huh. You want to use it now, or wait until tomorrow?
EREK: Tomorrow will be soon enough.
TOBIAS: Okay. What do you want to do now?
EREK: Well, the others are holding Tom in the shack in the woods, so maybe we could go spy on them?
TOBIAS: Sounds like a good idea to me.
ARBRON: So Erek and Tobias went to spy on the others. In the shack in the woods, Tom's Yeerk had recently died, leaving him free. They were still there.
TOM: Thanks for freeing me, guys.
JAKE: No problem. We'd give you the morphing power like we did Christopher and April, but...
TOM: But what?
MARCO: The Escafil device disappeared. We think Erek and Tobias stole it.
CHRISTOPHER: Remind me again why we think that?
APRIL: (Rolling her eyes) Because, no controller would take it from Ax's scoop and not hang around to kill him; and also that, unless you know what to look for, if you don't know where Ax's scoop is you can't find it.
CHRISTOPHER: Oh yeah, I forgot that.
ARBRON: Suddenly, the Ellimist appeared.
ELLIMIST: Hiya, guys!
RACHEL & APRIL: Hi there, Ellimist!
MARCO: You two do practice that, don't you?
RACHEL: April already said that we did.
MARCO: She said occasionally. You obviously practice more often than that!
APRIL: Okay, so we do. Shoot me.
MARCO: Bang! Bang!
APRIL: Grrrr.
JAKE: So what do you want, Ellimist?
ELLIMIST: Just to say hi.
TOBIAS: (Coming out of hiding with Erek right behind him) Since when do you appear just to say hi?
RACHEL & APRIL: Tobias! Erek! What are you doing here?
MARCO: Bang! Bang! Bangbangbangbangbang!
APRIL: I only said that you could shoot me the once!
MARCO: Grrrr.
ELLIMIST: Ah! Tobias, Erek, I'm glad that you're here! I have an invitation for all of you.
TOM: Even me?
ELLIMIST: Sure! Unless, that is, you have something better to do with your Friday night than to come to Crayak's birthday party?
TOM: Nope, not a thing.
EREK: How old is Crayak turning?
ELLIMIST: He's turning seven hundred thousand.
TOBIAS: Wow! He's even older than you!
ELLIMIST: I think I'll take that as a compliment.
MARCO: I would, if I were you.
ELLIMIST: So, who's going to come?
RACHEL & APRIL: I will!
MARCO: Bang!
RACHEL: Grrrr.
MARCO: I don't think I'm busy.
CHRISTOPHER: I don't have anything better to do.
TOM: Jake, how about you?
JAKE: Sure.
CASSIE: I need to feed the werewolves first, but I can make it.
AX: I believe that I will be able to attend.
EREK: Well, Tobias and I don't have much to do, so we can probably get there too.
TOBIAS: Erek, what about that thing we were going to do?
EREK: We can do that when the party finishes. Okay?
TOBIAS: Whatever. We'll be there.
EREK: So Ellimist, when is the party?
ELLIMIST: Day after tomorrow, at three o'clock. Ends at five, five thirty.
TOBIAS: Of course. It would be stupid to do it at a different time.
ELLIMIST: Well, since you are all going to be there, I have to go find some other people to invite.
JAKE: Okay, see you later.
ARBRON: So the Ellimist left to invite some other people to the party.
JAKE: So, what have you two been doing?
TOBIAS: Oh, nothing much.
EREK: Yeah, just nothing. Um, you guys aren't going to tell the police or anyone where we are, are you?
RACHEL: We wouldn't do a thing like that!
APRIL: Besides, we don't even know where you're staying. All we know is that you're here now.
EREK: True.
RACHEL: So, what time are we going to the mall tomorrow?
TOBIAS: Rachel, do you really think that it's a good idea for Erek and me to be at the mall?
RACHEL: Tobias, you can morph a different human, and Erek can change his hologram.
TOBIAS: Oh yeah!
EREK: I almost forgot about that!
RACHEL: I thought you might have.
JAKE: I'm busy tomorrow.
TOM: (Confused) No you're not.
CASSIE: He just doesn't want to go.
MARCO: Of course he doesn't, even Jake's not that stupid!
JAKE: (Sighs and rolls eyes) Why do I get the feeling I'm being insulted?
CHRISTOPHER: Maybe because you are.
JAKE: (Rolls eyes again) Duh. I knew that. I was just trying to be funny. I guess that no one other than Marco is allowed to tell jokes around here!
EREK: Well, not exactly. It's just that you can never tell a very good joke, Jake.
TOBIAS: You just aren't a funny sort of guy.
APRIL: Hello, people! We were trying to figure out a time to go to the mall?
TOBIAS: Hm. Maybe just before lunch? Then we can eat first and then go shopping.
EREK: Well, it's the best plan anyone has come up with. Any objections?
ARBRON: There weren't any. After agreeing to meet in the food court, they left Tobias and Erek and went back to Cassie's barn. Back at the barn, Marco and Chris had begun a game of monopoly. Jake, Ax, Cassie and Rachel were playing Guess Who. Tom and April were attempting to fix a cage that had been broken. Suddenly, a knock sounded on the barn door, and a figure stepped into the room.
ELLIMIST: I forgot something!
MARCO: What did you forget?
ELLIMIST: It's a fancy dress party. We'll have Crayak do the voting on the best costume.
CHRISTOPHER: That sounds like fun.
ELLIMIST: See you there!
ARBRON: The Ellimist left. The Animorphs began discussing costumes.
MARCO: I want to go as Spiderman.
RACHEL: I'm going as Xena.
JAKE: I'll be Batman.
TOM: I'll be Visser Three!
ARBRON: Everyone stared at him.
TOM: Okay, maybe not.
RACHEL & APRIL: No, no! It's just that it's such a brilliant idea!
MARCO: BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!
APRIL & RACHEL: Grrrr.
MARCO: Bang!
CASSIE: Who can I be?
MARCO & CHRISTOPHER: Catwoman!
CASSIE: Okay!
CHRISTOPHER: What about me, then? Can anyone think of something for me?
TOBIAS: I have an idea.
RACHEL & APRIL: Tobias! What are you doing here?
MARCO: Bang.
TOBIAS: Well, Erek and I decided that we'd come over here to discuss the party costumes.
EREK: We'll be keeping ours secret, of course, but we figured that you idiots would need help coming up with costumes.
CHRISTOPHER: Sorry to disappoint you, but Jake and Marco have already got costumes.
JAKE: Am I being insulted again?
MARCO: You and me both.
JAKE: Huh?
MARCO: (sighs)
TOBIAS: Riiight. Anyway, Chris, you should go as a psychiatrist!
CHRISTOPHER: Good idea!
APRIL: What about me?
EREK: Ummm.a calendar! You know, because your name's April.
APRIL: Okay!
AX: What about me?
MARCO: I know! A Telly Tubby!
ALL EXCEPT MARCO & AX: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
AX: What is a Telly Tubby?
ARBRON: Meanwhile, back at the ranch - oh, I mean, at Chapman's house, Jalil was trying to keep from yelling at the moron he was working with. Unsuccessfully, I might add.
JALIL: DAVID!!!! For the last time, the bloody steamers were supposed to be red, not pink!!!
DAVID: But I like this colour.
JALIL: (sighs) I don't give a kangaroo's tail what you like! I want the red ones, and I want them now!!
DAVID: (meekly) Okay.
ARBRON: David went and got the red streamers, and Jalil continued to set up for the party. A few minutes later...
DAVID: Jalil?
JALIL: What now?
DAVID: What's a kangaroo?
JALIL: David? SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET TO WORK!!!
DAVID: (scared) Okay, sure, whatever you say, Jalil...
ARBRON: David and Jalil got back to work, while the Animorphs, Erek, Christopher, April and Tom worked on their costumes, as were Visser Three, Kyra, Chapman and Melissa. Crayak was on holiday with his sister, while the Ellimist and the Drode...
DRODE: Hey Ellimist? What do you think of us going as Australian animals?
ELLIMIST: Cool! I wanna be a kangaroo!
DRODE: Sure, I'll be a koala.
ARBRON: ...Were deciding on their own costumes.
STAY TUNED, THE NEXT EPISODE OF ANIMORPH INSANITY WILL BE POSTED AS SOON AS I WRITE IT...HOPEFULLY WITHIN THE NEXT MONTH OR SO, I'M NOT THAT GOOD AT WRITING LOTS REALLY FAST WITHOUT IT BEING TOTAL CRAP.
Did you happen to wonder why there was a wolf in Erek and Tobias's cell in the psychiatric hospital? Did you ever wonder how old Crayak is? Do you want to see Marco pretend to shoot April and Rachel? Did you happen to wonder why Jake is always broke? Prepare to find out.
WHY THERE WAS A WOLF IN EREK AND TOBIAS'S CELL
(PART ONE)
By Silver Wolf
CHARACTER LIST
MARCO (AN ANIMORPH- OWNS TOBI-LEE, BEST FRIENDS WITH JAKE HAS AN ONGOING FEUD WITH RACHEL. DARK HAIR AND EYES)
TOBIAS (AN ANIMORPH-OWNS SADIE, BLOND HAIR, GREY EYES. EREK'S BEST FRIEND, RECENTLY ESCAPED FROM THE LUNATIC ASYLUM WITH EREK)
MAC: (THE AUTHOR'S PET WOLF. TRIES TO HELP EREK AND TOBIAS, AS WELL AS KEEP HIS OWNER FROM EATING TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE)
CHRISTOPHER (AN EVEWORLDER-GOOD FRIENDS WITH TOBIAS, ALWAYS TEASING APRIL AND RACHEL)
APRIL (AN EVERWORLDER-LOVES DOGS, GOOD FRIENDS WITH RACHEL, LIKES IRRITATING CHRISTOPHER)
JALIL: (AN EVERWORLDER-THROWS A BRILLIANT PARTY, THE DRODE HIRES HIM FOR CRAYAK'S PARTY)
DAVID: (AN EVERWORLDER-GETS ON REALLY WELL WITH JAKE, HELPS JALIL WITH THE PARTY)
RACHEL (AN ANIMORPH-BLOND, BLUE EYES, CAN'T STAND DOGS, GOOD FRIENDS WITH APRIL.)
EREK (AN ANDROID-HELPS THE ANIMORPHS, TOBIAS'S BEST FRIEND, LOVES DOGS, RECENTLY ESCAPED FROM THE LUNATIC ASYLUM WITH TOBIAS. BOTH ARE CURRENTLY ON THE RUN FROM FIXATED PSYCHIATRISTS)
JAKE: (THE ANIMORPH'S LEADER-MARCO'S BEST FRIEND, RACHEL'S COUSIN. LIGHT BROWN HAIR AND EYES.)
CASSIE: (AN ANIMORPH-RACHEL'S BEST FRIEND, TOTAL ANIMAL NUT. BLACK HAIR AND DARK EYES.)
AX: (AN ANDALITE, ALSO AN ANIMORPH-TOBIAS'S UNCLE, LOVES MOST HUMAN FOOD, ESPECIALLY CINNAMON BUNS. BLUE FUR, STALK EYES, FOUR LEGS, NO MOUTH.)
TOBY HAMEE: (FIRST NARRATOR. ALSO A HORK-BAJIR, AND HAS SOMETHING AGAINST PIZZA.)
ARBRON: (SECOND AND PERMANENT NARRATOR. AN ANDALITE. LIKES PIZZA AND DISLIKES PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITALS.)
VISSER THREE: (THE YEERK LEADER. HAS AN ANDALITE HOST BODY.)
CHAPMAN: (THE ANIMORPHS ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL. A CONTROLLER.)
KYRA: (VISSER THREE'S FIANCÉE, AND MARCO'S COUSIN.)
MELISSA: (CHAPMAN'S DAUGHTER. A CONTROLLER.)
DRODE: (CRAYAK'S RIGHT HAND ALIEN. DOES A LOT OF CRAYAK'S DIRTY WORK FOR HIM.)
MR. PSYCHIATRIST (ONE OF THE TWO PSYCHIATRISTS THAT IS FIXATED WITH CAPTURING TOBIAS AND EREK.)
DR. BRIAN (THE OTHER FIXATED PSYCHIATRIST. HE OWNS THE TEN STAR PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL)
ELLIMIST: (AN ALMOST ALL POWERFUL BEING. LOOKS LIKE A GLOWING BLUE OLD MAN.)
CRAYAK: (ANOTHER ALMOST ALL POWERFUL BEING. ELLIMIST'S ARCHRIVAL AND ROOMMATE. IS GOING TO APPEAR TO BE A HUMAN WITH A BLACK CLOAK ON, WHOSE ONLY VISIBLE FEATURES ARE HIS TWO GLOWING RED EYES.)
THE REPORTER: (REPORTER FOR THE NIGHTLY NEWS)
CASSIE'S DAD: (CASSIE'S DAD)
TOM: (JAKE'S CONTROLLER BROTHER.)
SCENE ONE
TOBY: When we last left the Erek and Tobias, Dr. Brian had just brought a large grey wolf into their cell and they had asked him why. Would anyone like to find out?
DR. BRIAN: I don't know why he wanted to come in here, but do you really think that we were going to tell him no?
EREK: Well, I certainly wouldn't say no to him. I just hope he doesn't want to eat us.
TOBIAS: Me too. I've been nearly eaten by a wolf several times before. I wouldn't like to have the experience completed by actually being eaten.
DR. BRIAN: I'm not going to stay here to find out what he wants, so, bye!
TOBY: Dr. Brian left Erek and Tobias to the wolf. The wolf did a rather unexpected thing. He spoke.
MAC: Hi there! I'm glad he's gone; I was very tempted to eat him.
TOBIAS & EREK: ...um...
MAC: Let me introduce myself. My name is Mac, and I represent the author.
TOBIAS: You mean K.A.A?
MAC: No, I mean Silver Wolf. The one who put you in here?
EREK: Can you tell her that we don't appreciate the whole psycho thing?
TOBIAS: Yeah, it's not like we actually did anything wrong.
EREK: I thought Silver Wolf liked us. She always stars us in her scripts.
MAC: Yeah, well...when I said that I represent the author, I don't actually mean that she knows that I'm here. I'm here to apologize to you on her behalf. You see, when you mix Silver Wolf, and too much coke/chocolate/lollies, she gets rather hyper.
TOBIAS: If she gets hyper on coke, what was she on when she wrote the last two scripts?
MAC: I honestly don't know.
TOBIAS: I don't suppose, that while you're here, you'd help is escape?
MAC: To be quite honest, that was my main reason for coming here. I just needed you to ask me. It's some dumb rule about being a fanfic writer's pet. You two wouldn't have a plan, would you? It would make things a lot easier.
TOBIAS: I don't, what about you, Erek?
EREK: I'm starting to get an idea. Give me a few minutes to think about it and I'll let you know if it'll work.
TOBY: Erek thought about his plan for approximately thirty seconds before grinning at Tobias and Mac.
EREK: I think I have the perfect plan.
TOBY: While Erek told Tobias and Mac about his plans, Cassie was telling Marco and Rachel one of her own.
CASSIE: What I want to do is get some money. I was broke before the Ellimist's party, and now.
MARCO: So how can we help? Not to mention get some cash of our own.
CASSIE: I say we rob a bank.
RACHEL: And how exactly are we supposed to do that?
CASSIE: We morph. And we only take money out of the account of someone we know.
RACHEL: Who?
CASSIE: I don't know.
MARCO: Jake's parents give him heaps of pocket money, and he puts half of what he gets each week in the bank. He's almost as loaded as Tobias, except that he doesn't spend it.
RACHEL: Where does Tobias get all that money anyway?
CASSIE: Who cares? Let's just rob a bank already!
TOBY: So Cassie morphed a wolf, Marco morphed a gorilla and Rachel morphed a grizzly bear. They robbed Jake's account and went to buy ice creams to celebrate their bank robbing success. Meanwhile, back at the Ten Star Psychiatric Hospital...
MAC: You want me to WHAT???
EREK: Steal the Escafil Device out of Ax's scoop. Tobias and I will break outta here and you'll meet us in the deserted shack in the woods.
MAC: Is this really a good idea?
TOBIAS: No, but it's the only one we've got.
MAC: True
SCENE TWO
TOBY HAMEE: Back in Cassie's barn, the Animorphs were trying to come up with a plan to fight the Yeerks before Visser Three's wedding to Marco's cousin Kyra, when suddenly the door flew open to reveal two really ticked off looking men in white lab coats.
JAKE: Who are you and what do you want?
DR. BRIAN: I'm Dr. Brian, and this is Mr. Psychiatrist. We're from the Ten Star Psychiatric Hospital, and we're looking for some former companions of yours.
CHRISTOPHER: Do you mean Erek and Tobias?
MR. PSYCHIATRIST: Yes. Are they here?
APRIL: What do you mean? They were taken away by you men in white coats a few months ago!
MARCO: Why did you think they would be here?
DR. BRIAN: They escaped. A few days ago. We still haven't found them.
RACHEL: (in alarm) Has the public been warned that there are dangerous psychos on the loose?
MR. PSYCHIATRIST: Uh, well, that was our next step if you hadn't seen them.
TOBY: That evening, on the nightly news... In Cassie's lounge room...
THE REPORTER: And an urgent warning for the citizens of Ten Star. Two escaped mental patients are on the loose. Citizens are warned that these certified lunatics are extremely dangerous. If sighted, they should not be approached. They are armed, insane and very unpredictable.
CASSIE'S DAD: That doesn't sound good, does it, Cass?
CASSIE: No, Dad, it doesn't.
THE REPORTER: The names of these two are Erek and Tobias The Police and the psychiatrists of the Ten Star Psychiatric Hospital believe that the two will stay together.
MR. PSYCHIATRIST: (on the TV news) Erek and Tobias are extremely close friends. We believe that they will devise a way to get out of the country. They may be insane, but they are also extraordinarily smart.
THE REPORTER: and to other news, wild animals raided the local bank...
TOBY: Cassie quickly turns the TV off and hopes Jake wasn't watching. She didn't want him to know that she, Marco and Rachel had robbed the bank. Mainly because they only took money out of Jake's account. In Jake's bedroom...
JAKE: I can't believe it! All of my money has disappeared from my bank account! (Jake turns on the TV just in time to see the beginning of the report about wild animals and the bank)
THE REPORTER: and to other news, wild animals raided the local bank...
TOBY: Jake watched the report, and then called Marco, Cassie and Rachel. He convinced them to give him his money back. It only took him a few minutes.after threatening to attack them as a tiger while they were asleep.
SCENE THREE
TOBY: In a shack in the woods, we find two certain escaped mental patients, devising a plan of some sort.
TOBIAS: How do you expect me to be able to make this?
EREK: I just thought that if you can build bombs, you'd certainly be able to reconfigure the Escafil device.
TOBIAS: The bomb was a piece of cake compared to this!
EREK: Speaking of cake, I'm starved. When can we get something to eat?
TOBIAS: Well, by now the shrinks will have told the media that we're loose, so we'll need your hologram to disguise us. Where do you want to go?
EREK: I was thinking maybe Pizza Hut? What do you reckon?
TOBIAS: Sure, sounds good to me.
TOBY: So Erek and Tobias, disguised by Erek's hologram, went and bought a large pizza with absolutely everything and a bottle of Pepsi. They then went back to the shack in the woods to eat it.
EREK: So, Tobias. When do you think you will have that Escafil device finished?
TOBIAS: Didn't I mention that I couldn't do this?
EREK: Several times. So?
TOBIAS: Oh, day after tomorrow, probably.
TOBY: While Erek and Tobias were pigging out on pizza, their friends, both Animorph and not, were also having fun, although not all of them were together. At Marco's place...
MARCO: I'm hungry.
CHRISTOPHER: Me too.
MARCO: Wanna order a pizza?
CHRISTOPHER: With everything?
MARCO: Naturally.
TOBY: Marco ordered his pizza, and he and Christopher ate until they couldn't eat any more. They ran out of pizza. At Jake's house...
TOM: You hungry, midget?
JAKE: Starved. Say Tom, a friend of mine recommended this new pizza restaurant. Do you want to go?
TOM: Sure. Dad left us money to order, but I'm game to try the new place.
JAKE: Then let's go.
TOBY: Yep, that's right, Jake and Tom ate pizza too. At Rachel's place...
CASSIE: So you still game to go eat that pizza you owe me for?
RACHEL: Well, I'm hungry, so the pizza sounds really good.
APRIL: Sounds good to me too.
CASSIE: Then we'll go to the mall, and then we eat the pizza at the food court.
RACHEL: Sounds good to me.
APRIL: Come on, let's go.
TOBY: I'm wondering if there's a pizza conspiracy that I wasn't warned about. At Ax's scoop...
DRODE: Checkmate.
AX: Damn you Drode!
DRODE: Huh?
AX: Damn is a mild human swearword.
DRODE: Oh. You hungry?
AX: Starved, actually. I ate some grass, but I'm in the mood for pizza.
DRODE: Hm. Let's order some!
AX: Sure!
TOBY: Even the aliens are getting into the act! Grrrr! At Chapman's house...
MELISSA: Visser Three, when I pass Go, as the banker, you have to give me $200. It's in the rules!
KYRA: She's right, sweetie. See? (Shows him the rules). Right there.
VISSER THREE: Oh, all right. Chapman!
CHAPMAN: Yessir?
VISSER THREE: Could you order a pizza? We're all hungry.
CHAPMAN: No problem Visser. I'll order it now.
TOBY: Okay, now it's just plain not funny. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the Ellimist and Crayak were eating a pizza! Somewhere in the universe...
ELLIMIST: Hey Crayak!
CRAYAK: Yeah?
ELLIMIST: I'm hungry. What do you feel like eating?
CRAYAK: Well, I wouldn't mind some pizza.
TOBY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!
ELLIMIST: What's wrong with her?
CRAYAK: (Shrugs and creates a pizza right on the spot) I don't know.
TOBY: IS EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE EATING PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAARRRRGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!
AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET ME AWAY FROM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs around wildly for a few seconds, then runs off stage.)
SCENE FOUR
ARBRON: Hi there! My name's Arbron. I'm going to be the narrator from now on, because Toby went insane when everyone was eating pizza at the same time. It was sort of freaky, but... Okay, I got off track there. Anyway, Rachel, Cassie, April, Marco, Christopher and Ax were in the barn when Jake got there. He had Tom with him.
RACHEL & APRIL: TOM! What are you doing here?
MARCO: Do you two practice that?
APRIL: Occasionally.
TOM: I'm here because Jake dragged me here. He told me you had some sort of problem...
CHRISTOPHER: We do! We need your help moving some stuff to a cabin in the woods. Will you help?
TOM: Sure, no problem.
ARBRON: So they led Tom to the cabin in the woods, while they were all carrying some stuff in sacks, but they didn't tell Tom what it was. Once they got there...
APRIL: Hey! It looks like someone has been staying here!
CASSIE! But no one other than the Ani.us.knows where it is!
MARCO: I have a bad feeling about this...
CHRISTOPHER: So do I, Marco, so do I.
JAKE: Like what?
CHRISTOPHER: Well, we aren't the only ones who know about it.
TOM: Who else does?
JAKE: Yeah, who?
MARCO: Tobias and Erek!
TOM: You mean those escaped mental patients? How do they know?
CHRISTOPHER: Because they're our friends...
TOM: Have you had any contact from them since they escaped?
RACHEL: No. Anyway, Jake, don't we have something to tell Tom?
JAKE: Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that!
TOM: What do you have to tell me?
CASSIE: Just that we need you to go inside and grab a rope for Chris to use to hang hi -
CHRISTOPHER: Don't say it!
CASSIE: Say what?
CHRISTOPHER: You were going to say; for Chris to use to hang himself, weren't you!
CASSIE: Actually, I was going to say for you to hang your clothes on to dry when you washed them...
CHRISTOPHER: Oh yeah, heh heh, I forgot.
TOM: Sure, whatever.
ARBRON: So Tom went into the cabin, grabbed the rope, and turned to leave.
JAKE: NOW!!!
ARBRON: Jake, Cassie and April slammed the door shut and locked it.
TOM: HEY!!! What do you think you're doing??? Open the door right now!! Jake!!
JAKE: We aren't going to let you out yet, Tom. Not for a few days, in fact.
TOM: What are you going to tell our parents?
JAKE: Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. They wont have any idea.
TOM: Jake, why are you doing this?
APRIL: Simple. We don't like slugs.
TOM: Huh?
RACHEL: You heard her; we don't like slugs. Or snails.
MARCO: And you are a slimy slug. Controlling Tom. So we don't like you.
TOM: (Laughing a little nervously) What are you freaks going on about?
CHRISTOPHER: You know what we're talking about, Yeerk.
TOM: (Staring) How - how do you know about us?
AX: (Demorphs to Andalite) Because of my brother. Irritating moron that he was.
TOM: Andalite! But...
JAKE: But what, Yeerk?
TOM: Jake, how do you know about us?
JAKE: Because of Elfangor. He gave us the power to morph, yada yada yada, all of that, you were there at the construction site...
TOM: That was you? Who else was there, Jake?
JAKE: Me, Marco, Rachel, Cassie, and...
TOM: And?
MARCO: Tobias. You know, the dangerous psycho.
TOM: You four used to hang out with a crazy guy?
RACHEL: He wasn't always crazy...
TOM: He wasn't?
MARCO: Not until he and Erek built a bomb and started plotting world domination. They went mad shortly before that.
TOM: Oh. So, who are you're other friends?
CASSIE: Christopher and April. They lived in EverWorld for a while, but then decided to come live here.
TOM: And the Andalite?
RACHEL: He's Elfangor's younger brother. His name is Ax.
TOM: Nice to meet you all.
ARBRON: They kept Tom in the cabin until his Yeerk died. But I suppose you're wondering why Tobias and Erek didn't find them. The answer is this: they had taken their headquarters to a different location. A small place through a cave. It was a nice place that no one else knew was there, so no one would find them and report it to the police. In Tobias and Erek's HQ...
EREK: I thought you'd have that Escafil device reconfigured by now.
TOBIAS: What do you think I am, a rocket scientist?
EREK: Well, you are pretty good at that sort of stuff...
TOBIAS: That doesn't mean that I'm a rocket scientist.
EREK: So when will you have it done by?
TOBIAS: Five hours ago.
EREK: You mean that you've finished?
TOBIAS: Uh huh. You want to use it now, or wait until tomorrow?
EREK: Tomorrow will be soon enough.
TOBIAS: Okay. What do you want to do now?
EREK: Well, the others are holding Tom in the shack in the woods, so maybe we could go spy on them?
TOBIAS: Sounds like a good idea to me.
ARBRON: So Erek and Tobias went to spy on the others. In the shack in the woods, Tom's Yeerk had recently died, leaving him free. They were still there.
TOM: Thanks for freeing me, guys.
JAKE: No problem. We'd give you the morphing power like we did Christopher and April, but...
TOM: But what?
MARCO: The Escafil device disappeared. We think Erek and Tobias stole it.
CHRISTOPHER: Remind me again why we think that?
APRIL: (Rolling her eyes) Because, no controller would take it from Ax's scoop and not hang around to kill him; and also that, unless you know what to look for, if you don't know where Ax's scoop is you can't find it.
CHRISTOPHER: Oh yeah, I forgot that.
ARBRON: Suddenly, the Ellimist appeared.
ELLIMIST: Hiya, guys!
RACHEL & APRIL: Hi there, Ellimist!
MARCO: You two do practice that, don't you?
RACHEL: April already said that we did.
MARCO: She said occasionally. You obviously practice more often than that!
APRIL: Okay, so we do. Shoot me.
MARCO: Bang! Bang!
APRIL: Grrrr.
JAKE: So what do you want, Ellimist?
ELLIMIST: Just to say hi.
TOBIAS: (Coming out of hiding with Erek right behind him) Since when do you appear just to say hi?
RACHEL & APRIL: Tobias! Erek! What are you doing here?
MARCO: Bang! Bang! Bangbangbangbangbang!
APRIL: I only said that you could shoot me the once!
MARCO: Grrrr.
ELLIMIST: Ah! Tobias, Erek, I'm glad that you're here! I have an invitation for all of you.
TOM: Even me?
ELLIMIST: Sure! Unless, that is, you have something better to do with your Friday night than to come to Crayak's birthday party?
TOM: Nope, not a thing.
EREK: How old is Crayak turning?
ELLIMIST: He's turning seven hundred thousand.
TOBIAS: Wow! He's even older than you!
ELLIMIST: I think I'll take that as a compliment.
MARCO: I would, if I were you.
ELLIMIST: So, who's going to come?
RACHEL & APRIL: I will!
MARCO: Bang!
RACHEL: Grrrr.
MARCO: I don't think I'm busy.
CHRISTOPHER: I don't have anything better to do.
TOM: Jake, how about you?
JAKE: Sure.
CASSIE: I need to feed the werewolves first, but I can make it.
AX: I believe that I will be able to attend.
EREK: Well, Tobias and I don't have much to do, so we can probably get there too.
TOBIAS: Erek, what about that thing we were going to do?
EREK: We can do that when the party finishes. Okay?
TOBIAS: Whatever. We'll be there.
EREK: So Ellimist, when is the party?
ELLIMIST: Day after tomorrow, at three o'clock. Ends at five, five thirty.
TOBIAS: Of course. It would be stupid to do it at a different time.
ELLIMIST: Well, since you are all going to be there, I have to go find some other people to invite.
JAKE: Okay, see you later.
ARBRON: So the Ellimist left to invite some other people to the party.
JAKE: So, what have you two been doing?
TOBIAS: Oh, nothing much.
EREK: Yeah, just nothing. Um, you guys aren't going to tell the police or anyone where we are, are you?
RACHEL: We wouldn't do a thing like that!
APRIL: Besides, we don't even know where you're staying. All we know is that you're here now.
EREK: True.
RACHEL: So, what time are we going to the mall tomorrow?
TOBIAS: Rachel, do you really think that it's a good idea for Erek and me to be at the mall?
RACHEL: Tobias, you can morph a different human, and Erek can change his hologram.
TOBIAS: Oh yeah!
EREK: I almost forgot about that!
RACHEL: I thought you might have.
JAKE: I'm busy tomorrow.
TOM: (Confused) No you're not.
CASSIE: He just doesn't want to go.
MARCO: Of course he doesn't, even Jake's not that stupid!
JAKE: (Sighs and rolls eyes) Why do I get the feeling I'm being insulted?
CHRISTOPHER: Maybe because you are.
JAKE: (Rolls eyes again) Duh. I knew that. I was just trying to be funny. I guess that no one other than Marco is allowed to tell jokes around here!
EREK: Well, not exactly. It's just that you can never tell a very good joke, Jake.
TOBIAS: You just aren't a funny sort of guy.
APRIL: Hello, people! We were trying to figure out a time to go to the mall?
TOBIAS: Hm. Maybe just before lunch? Then we can eat first and then go shopping.
EREK: Well, it's the best plan anyone has come up with. Any objections?
ARBRON: There weren't any. After agreeing to meet in the food court, they left Tobias and Erek and went back to Cassie's barn. Back at the barn, Marco and Chris had begun a game of monopoly. Jake, Ax, Cassie and Rachel were playing Guess Who. Tom and April were attempting to fix a cage that had been broken. Suddenly, a knock sounded on the barn door, and a figure stepped into the room.
ELLIMIST: I forgot something!
MARCO: What did you forget?
ELLIMIST: It's a fancy dress party. We'll have Crayak do the voting on the best costume.
CHRISTOPHER: That sounds like fun.
ELLIMIST: See you there!
ARBRON: The Ellimist left. The Animorphs began discussing costumes.
MARCO: I want to go as Spiderman.
RACHEL: I'm going as Xena.
JAKE: I'll be Batman.
TOM: I'll be Visser Three!
ARBRON: Everyone stared at him.
TOM: Okay, maybe not.
RACHEL & APRIL: No, no! It's just that it's such a brilliant idea!
MARCO: BANG BANG BANG BANG!!!
APRIL & RACHEL: Grrrr.
MARCO: Bang!
CASSIE: Who can I be?
MARCO & CHRISTOPHER: Catwoman!
CASSIE: Okay!
CHRISTOPHER: What about me, then? Can anyone think of something for me?
TOBIAS: I have an idea.
RACHEL & APRIL: Tobias! What are you doing here?
MARCO: Bang.
TOBIAS: Well, Erek and I decided that we'd come over here to discuss the party costumes.
EREK: We'll be keeping ours secret, of course, but we figured that you idiots would need help coming up with costumes.
CHRISTOPHER: Sorry to disappoint you, but Jake and Marco have already got costumes.
JAKE: Am I being insulted again?
MARCO: You and me both.
JAKE: Huh?
MARCO: (sighs)
TOBIAS: Riiight. Anyway, Chris, you should go as a psychiatrist!
CHRISTOPHER: Good idea!
APRIL: What about me?
EREK: Ummm.a calendar! You know, because your name's April.
APRIL: Okay!
AX: What about me?
MARCO: I know! A Telly Tubby!
ALL EXCEPT MARCO & AX: NOOOOOOO!!!!!
AX: What is a Telly Tubby?
ARBRON: Meanwhile, back at the ranch - oh, I mean, at Chapman's house, Jalil was trying to keep from yelling at the moron he was working with. Unsuccessfully, I might add.
JALIL: DAVID!!!! For the last time, the bloody steamers were supposed to be red, not pink!!!
DAVID: But I like this colour.
JALIL: (sighs) I don't give a kangaroo's tail what you like! I want the red ones, and I want them now!!
DAVID: (meekly) Okay.
ARBRON: David went and got the red streamers, and Jalil continued to set up for the party. A few minutes later...
DAVID: Jalil?
JALIL: What now?
DAVID: What's a kangaroo?
JALIL: David? SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET TO WORK!!!
DAVID: (scared) Okay, sure, whatever you say, Jalil...
ARBRON: David and Jalil got back to work, while the Animorphs, Erek, Christopher, April and Tom worked on their costumes, as were Visser Three, Kyra, Chapman and Melissa. Crayak was on holiday with his sister, while the Ellimist and the Drode...
DRODE: Hey Ellimist? What do you think of us going as Australian animals?
ELLIMIST: Cool! I wanna be a kangaroo!
DRODE: Sure, I'll be a koala.
ARBRON: ...Were deciding on their own costumes.
STAY TUNED, THE NEXT EPISODE OF ANIMORPH INSANITY WILL BE POSTED AS SOON AS I WRITE IT...HOPEFULLY WITHIN THE NEXT MONTH OR SO, I'M NOT THAT GOOD AT WRITING LOTS REALLY FAST WITHOUT IT BEING TOTAL CRAP.