AN: So I decided to write the side story to "Every Day Secrets" just because I adore Karin and Toushirou. LOL Yeah, I'm a sucker for this couple. I swear I write so much for them. I've already done three fics in approximately three months and that in itself is crazy. Probably because it's my last semester of college and I won't be able to keep this pace up forever. Gotta strike while the iron's hot. This isn't a one-shot because 1) my best friend says one-shots are supposed to be short and she thinks I'm crazy for writing so much for only one part anyway and 2) I just really wanted to post this. Haha. So expect the second (but probably no third) part in a few days to a week. Enjoy the fic everybody!
Summary: Companion to "Every Day Secrets." AU. Good girls don't chase after rock stars. Luckily for Karin and Toushirou, they weren't much of either. HitsuKarin and IchiRuki.
Warnings: Read "Every Day Secrets" first! It just makes more sense that way. If you don't want to, just be prepared to be a little confused. Where the plot actually starts is in the second part of that fic. I recommend that you do read it just to be safe though. Plus, who doesn't love a good Ichiruki? =D
Part One: I don't wanna wonder anymore, boy
There were two things that Kurosaki Karin was normally associated with: being a tomboy and her brother.
The former was easy enough to understand. As a kid, she was every bit of the word, her hair cut short just below her earlobes, a pair of soccer shorts and plain tee always on hand, plus a baseball cap she never went without. Her closest friends had been (and probably always would be) boys, and she had none of the interests her sister, Yuzu, had, which essentially boiled down to cooking with their mother, playing dress up and owning a variety of dolls. And while that didn't make her very popular with the female half of her class, Karin soon became well versed with boys' minds. They were similar to open books to her, their thinking rather simple if one got to know them as intimately as she did.
It helped that she more or less looked like one of them as a child, flat-chested and with a distinctly deeper voice that her twin's. Even now at eighteen years old, she still carried a shadow of that childhood self on her. Her physicality had morphed, as she always knew it would, but her attitude and language was much more suitable for a soccer game than a tea ceremony with well-to-do gentlewomen. But she had some pride in that part of herself, if she was honest.
The latter was completely out of her hands, a curse brought down simply because her brother was a very talented actor with a bright future and much too pretty to be walking by himself on the streets. It seemed that all of the Kurosaki children had taken after their mother, formerly a well-known actress in her day who'd retired at her peak to start a family with a small town physician. However, it seemed that a bit of her acting genes had been passed onto Ichigo, who showed great range in school plays and had somehow transitioned into small supporting roles on TV and movies. Now, with his crossing through puberty and into adult roles, he had fully developed into a leading man and the whole country was taking notice.
Stuck between a rising star and a beautiful-by-comparison twin, it was a wonder that Karin hadn't lost herself in self-pity or inferiority, a dark rift that would have turned a weaker person into an abrasive attention-seeker. Perhaps it was a combination of good parenting and a bit of her own precociousness, but Karin knew exactly who she was and what she wanted to be, and that meant becoming someone completely different from her siblings. She wore her individuality as a badge of courage, shrugging off whispers of oddness in high school and growing into the assertive and independent college student she was now. She'd be lying if she said it wasn't a little satisfying to have the last laugh.
Ever since she was a kid, she hadn't put much stock in her older brother's love affair with show business nor did she want to follow him into it, having heard from Ichigo himself about the people who attempted to sweet talk him in order to get favors and the insanity that came with the paparazzi chasing him down busy streets. During the few incidences that she'd been caught in that kind of mess with him, Karin knew firsthand that he wasn't exaggerating, the sea of fans and cameramen as thick as molasses but with even stickier hands. A part of her wondered how someone like Ichigo, who valued his privacy almost more than he enjoyed his work, could deal with the insanity that came with being famous. It was almost as much of a mystery as to how that stone-still face of his could transform into a series of different expressions when he was on camera. Truly there were just some things in this world that she would never understand.
Case in point: one of her brother's best friends, Hitsugaya Toushirou.
The two boys had met when they were both in high school, totally opposite sides of the spectrum. Kurosaki Ichigo was then the misunderstood actor kid, on the brink of making it big and a constant source of both adoration and animosity to his schoolmates, depending on who you asked. And he wasn't the type to just sit in the background either. Even when he was stooped low in his seat, taking notes after missing a week of classes, there was something about him that made it hard for a person to turn away. How he ended up in the class that housed all of academic-minded students (and managed to stay in it) was still an enigma to her. But he wasn't the only one in that class who drew much unwanted attention.
Early on, Hitsugaya had gained a reputation for being the ice-cold genius with a perpetually arrogant look on his face, known as the boy who had just transferred back to Japan after studying in Europe. He was placed among the most scholastically gifted and stayed at the top with ease that others envied. But that strange, almost foreign perfection of his gained him admirers, not friends. He kept everyone at a distance, only half-listening when a conversation was started and playing polite so as not to ruffle the oversensitive feathers of his peers.
What was funny was that Ichigo had no idea who Hitsugaya was until they were tasked with a paper, and Hitsugaya couldn't have cared less who the overtly popular Ichigo was outside of the classroom. That was how Karin first met the white-haired teen, as she walked into her living room one day only to see the two of them engaged in a battle of words, standing and looking ready to trounce each other. Tilting her head to the side, her school bag in one hand and her soccer gear on the opposite shoulder, she deemed this a good enough time to interrupt.
"I'm back, Ichi-nii. Ichi-nii's friend," she nodded to each of them, walking into the kitchen as they both separated. There was always something about a younger person watching that made one ease off the anger a little, but the way they were both glaring said that they were only doing this for propriety's sake.
"Karin, this is Toushirou from my class. He'll be staying for dinner 'cause we're working on a project," he said, gesturing to the smaller boy to his left. The gesture was rather reluctant but she knew better than to say something.
"It's Hitsugaya to you," the other interjected gruffly, frowning discretely at his host. But Ichigo waved him off, completely uncaring of the technicalities of the situation. Trust her brother to break centuries of tradition merely because he didn't like them.
"Well Yuzu'll be back in an hour to make dinner so let her know," Karin interrupted before her brother could. But the look she gave them contrasted deeply with her light words, a glare that no thirteen year old should give anyone, much less two men who were older than her. It was a half-lidded warning mixed with the promise of dark retribution if they didn't comply with her orders, which were no killing each other in the house and finishing up their project as soon as possible. It seemed to do its job, as both closed their mouths begrudgingly and turned away to keep from saying anything else.
And funnily enough, that little essay for their history class bonded the two of them for life, completely unintentional and just a little bit against their wills. Not that either would say anything about their newly formed friendship, as both men vehemently denied that they liked each other, only that they had few friends in school other than a selective group. Of course Karin let it slide, letting them live happily in their denial. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day but neither was a long lasting relation, at least not the kind that these two had.
So she grew up with the snow-haired genius, getting through high school as Ichigo's weird little sister, Yuzu's much odder twin, the tomboy who played on the boys' soccer team, and a host of other names that she didn't recall. Karin refused to define herself, refused to listen to all of the naysayers and conform into some special little box so she could maintain some imaginary status quo. She had a brother who was worshipped on a daily basis, who hated the typecasting that came with his name, who fought for each and every role he wanted because people wanted him only as the romantic hero and never the treacherous villain. So she refused to boil down all her quirks and flaws just so a bunch of kids with nothing better to do would stop talking about her.
But one particularly hard day during her third year had the ever-strong Kurosaki Karin at her limit. Just after winning their division's championship, she had gained the title as 'Most Valuable Player,' a complete surprise but a joyous one. Her teammates were congratulatory, honestly so, and supportive, patting her on the head and dumping water bottles in her hair. But then there were those murmurs from the spectators, other teams who eyed her with disdain and mild disgust. After all, what teenage boy wanted to know that they'd been bested by a younger girl?
Clutching the metal in her hand, she felt her fingertips rove over the perfectly melded ledges and letters, a sense of ambivalence in her. Karin knew that she'd earned it. She'd played her best season to date, beating out competitors that pushed her well passed her physical and mental limits. She didn't mind the hate (she'd been dealing with it since she first joined her own team, after all), but it certainly left a bad taste in her mouth. Maybe that was the cause of this melancholy, an uncharacteristic moodiness that dampened her spirits and made her leave the celebration early in favor of her thoughts. Or hormones. Normal girls acted really weird on occasion, right? It wasn't as if she could escape her own biology.
"Is that you Karin?" A very familiar voice broke her reverie, as she turned her head to see Hitsugaya, a plastic bag in his hand. She noticed that he was in casual dress and looked decidedly different in it, too used to seeing him in his former school uniform. She nodded at him silently.
"What're you doing here by yourself?" he asked, eyeing her and her new behavior suspiciously. This was a completely different Karin he was encountering, not full of her usual bursts of boisterous energy or sarcastic replies. No, she was much more contemplative, almost sad if he had to attach an emotion to it. Inwardly he decided he didn't care much for this side of her.
"It's nothing," she shrugged, her eyes going back to the setting horizon, taking in the smearing of orange, red and yellow with unseeing eyes. But he didn't buy it, especially not when she looked that troubled.
"I have time," he offered, climbing over the railing and putting the bag down on the cool grass. His groceries could wait. His granny had only asked him to buy a few things for dinner tomorrow and there was nothing that was going to expire. Besides, he didn't feel right leaving her alone when she was so obviously not herself. It just didn't sit well with him.
Instead of saying anything, she held out the newly minted award, passing it to him with reluctance. Taking it, he couldn't hold back the confused frown, even as he read the achievement. It certainly didn't answer his question; if anything, it only left him with more.
"So, you're upset that you're MVP?" He left his usual snark out, knowing that the younger girl was more than a little sensitive right now. It would've been so much easier if she was her normal self, that brash self-confidence always rubbing him the wrong way and causing him to lose his temper. He'd trade just about anything for that girl back, as he handed it off and she eyed it disdainfully in her small hand.
"No, of course not. Who doesn't want to be MVP of their division?" It was a question, but he felt it was less rhetorical and more along the lines of convincing herself. A glance at the half-angry, half-helpless stare on her face was more than enough for him to figure it out. After all, it was a look he knew well, one he wore throughout his own high school existence.
"Let me guess. Some of the other teams didn't take it too well when you received it." When she didn't make a move to agree or disagree, only frowned a little more at the clunk of metal, he knew he'd guessed right. He'd been on the same end of similar heat-seeking comments, remembering the biting remarks whenever he garnered some sort of academic recognition or an approving word from a teacher.
To his jealous classmates, he was skating by in subjects. Even if they all shared the same advanced courses, they saw it as him not being deserving of the esteem because of his 'genius.' He hated that term with a passion, as if his gifts were merely God-given and not of his own hard work. It wasn't his fault that words and numbers came easily to him, settled themselves into his mind with remarkable ease that he actually enjoyed opening his text books and discovering that he had much more to learn. He had never taken learning as a challenge but as an adventure. In fact, the only other passion that rivaled his curiosity was rock music, his unlikely love for that perfect symphony and meaningful lyrics plus the sound of an adoring crowd made even his most skeptical critic look twice.
"Can I give you a piece of advice?" he asked, making sure he wasn't about to tread on any toes. Karin was notoriously self-sufficient, depending on no one but herself when it came down to the bare bones of a situation. But she was surprisingly receptive, as she glanced up at him inquiringly, looking as if he might have an answer to her problem. Taking the medallion again, he pulled the strap so that it became a triangle, stepping in front of her as did. He almost chuckled at the distrustful look in her eye, and somehow it made him infinitely more comfortable, as he placed the gold around her neck and smirked down at her with a conspirator's gleam in his eye.
"Don't let a bunch of guys who don't even know you tell you what you deserve and what you don't. They just didn't want to lose to a girl and in a few years, they'll probably be chasing you down for other reasons."
"Yeah? Like what?" She cocked her head to the side, just the slightest bit perplexed. He couldn't help but laugh, ruffling her hair and causing her to yelp at the rough form of affection. It only made her scowl, but not before she turned pink at his explanation.
"Trust me, a guy never forgets a pretty girl, Karin, especially not one who beats him in a sport." And somehow the older man was able to make her hours-long rumination make sense in only a few minutes.
It had been well over a year since then, and yet the memory still gave her butterflies and perhaps even a few bumblebees whenever she let herself remember. It was also the last real conversation she'd had with Hitsugaya, who returned to college a week later to finish his junior year as well as to continue promoting his independent band. It grated on her nerves, how easily he came to mind when she had a moment of weakness, holding onto that bit of kindness like a lifeline.
Eventually she graduated a year later, going off to her first year of college and finding that the white-haired man was absolutely right (as he oftentimes was). More than a few boys had remembered the firecracker named Kurosaki Karin from high school, and each of them had been from some rival team within her district. It also meant she had been asked out for coffee, lunch, dinner and a number of other things she had no particular interest in going to more than a few times. While being known for her inability to hold tact in a bottle, Karin had pleaded out of the majority of the invites, trying not to scare off every boy that came to her so she wouldn't gain some reputation as a senseless heartbreaker. She merely had no interest in the ones that had approached her.
Unfortunately, Karin was one of those deeply-in-denial, closet romantics, the ones that believed in true love and faith and all that good stuff. It was almost embarrassing because while her younger sister could say it without a hint of shame or doubt, she shuffled around those kinds of questions with a shrug and blew it off with an easy dismissal. She'd never been the type to flirt shamelessly or smile for no reason and that had made her less attractive to the other gender in high school, especially when compared to the perpetually happy Yuzu.
So between her boyish upbringing and her brother's super star status, Karin was just so plainly herself. Pretty and smart and athletic, but overall lacking if one looked at the eldest Kurosaki sibling's national and international achievements. But she'd never change any part of herself, not for anything in the world or for anyone else's satisfaction.
But if only she could catch one person's eye…
As she watched her brother's dark-haired companion follow him out of the room, Karin felt immensely better about who Ichigo was spending him precious extra time with. She'd seen enough girls on his arm that refused to stick around, not because he liked to toy with them but because he couldn't seem to find one that fit into his hectic life. A number of non-celebrity girls he'd tried dating had ended up being either fame-hungry and/or money-hungry or terrified of the spotlight and decidedly not as into Ichigo as they'd thought. And while the former was all types of annoying, it was the latter that most oftentimes broke his heart, finding that no matter how good of a guy he was those girls had deemed he was he wasn't worth the trouble that went with his status.
On the other end of the spectrum, he did have a few relationships with certain celebrities, mostly models or idols. His last one, Orihime Inoue, had been beautiful and kind, though occasionally a bit lacking in the common sense department. Karin had thought they'd last but it just wasn't fated to be, as she found out that Ichigo himself had ended the courtship just as things were starting to get serious. When she asked him why, his straightforward answer left her a little surprised, less at his reasoning and more at his unadulterated wisdom. He had looked her in the eye over the dinner table and said in an unusually hushed tone of his, "We weren't meeting on the levels we were supposed to. I think she was falling in love with me more than I was with her, and it wouldn't have been fair to lead her on like that."
In that moment, Karin got a lesson in love she knew she wouldn't forget; that there was more to romance than chemistry and compatibility. It was also about timing. A girl could be the happiest person on earth in love, but if her lover didn't feel the same, then everything would be for naught. They had parted ways as friends, but even Karin knew that the older girl was heartbroken, hiding it behind a tearful smile and gentle, encouraging words.
It seemed that even the most honest loves could end ugly.
But that girl... Kuchiki Rukia was it? She wasn't quite sure what it was about her, but Karin had a good feeling about that one. It was something in the way she talked, loud and authoritative that was in contrast to her size, and the way her eyes seemed to follow Ichigo with a seriousness that belied her age. There was no way that this was a woman who did things half-hearted, but was instead sure of herself and comfortable in her own skin. She was most definitely a woman who, if she wasn't in love already, would fall hard and fast for her brother, someone who would see that all the good Ichigo offered far outweighed any of the bad. As for the redhead himself, Karin knew he was far too deep to escape his feelings now; she'd bet everything she owned that she was right. Years of manipulation left that head of his vulnerable to her eyes and completely at her disposal.
As her thoughts finally filtered back to reality, she realized just where she was again and that it was probably time to go. Madarame was already packing his stuff and Ayasegawa wasn't primping himself as per usual. Definitely a sign. She turned back to them to say her goodbyes, once again thanking the feathered man for the extra ticket and backstage pass. The fake ID she'd bought a few months ago would go into hiding again at the bottom of her sock drawer, its use only for good and not evil (... most days).
"How're you getting home, Karin-chan?" Hisagi asked, as he grabbed his wallet from the table and clutched his phone in the other. She shrugged by force of habit.
"Not sure. A taxi? Actually my dorm isn't too far so I can walk," she replied, as she checked for the time. 12:24 AM. Late but not so much that it should be any problem. A fifteen-minute walk was hardly a far distance and even that was a bit of a stretch. She could probably jog it in seven.
"You are not going to walk."
Turning to the disgruntled voice, Karin couldn't quite hold back the sneer at his commanding tone. If it wasn't sarcasm then it was authority that underlined half his words, and they were the only two emotions she could force out of him. Other than that one of act of kindness she couldn't remember a time when he hadn't handled her with kiddy gloves, always at arms' length and with knowing condescension in his gaze.
"I really don't think you have a say." Flipping her phone shut and shoving it into her small bag, she waved goodbye to the last of the group's backstage personnel who were departing for the night. In a few minutes, it emptied until only she and Death to the Party stood in the small sitting room.
"I think he's right, Karin. It's not beautiful for a girl to walk home alone, especially if she's leaving the company of four men," Yumichika offered, making her cluck her tongue against the side of her cheek. With an approving nod from the bald man and the bassist, she knew she had no other choice. It was either go willingly or forcibly, and she was pretty sure she'd cause too much of a stir in the early morning with the second one.
"Okay then. Can I go with you, Hisagi-san?" she asked, not noticing she'd given him a pretty smile as she asked, nor did she fully comprehend the reason for the drizzle of red on his cheeks. All Karin knew was that she didn't want to end up with Toushirou, not after he so thoroughly dismissed her only moments prior. Knowing the two of them together, they'd probably end up fighting the entire way back and that would be all bad.
"Uh, no, I think you should go with someone else…" he stuttered, catching the overprotective gleam in their leader's eyes. But it wasn't as if anyone could blame him. When an attractive young woman looked at a guy as endearingly as she had, was he not supposed to react? He wasn't Hitsugaya, after all. That kid could turn down women like he was rejecting overcooked bean sprouts, nonchalant and without a hint of regret. Well, all except this one, of course.
"I'll take you," the white-haired man said decisively, nodding as the other three dismissed themselves. The not-quite maniacal grin of glee on Madarame's face said more than any words possibly could. And when their next practice rolled around, he knew he'd be fighting off a number of inappropriate innuendos and working them into the ground as punishment for their impertinence. When it was finally just the two of them, he motioned for her to follow him out to the back parking lot.
It was with reluctance that she did so, and she knew he could tell even though she was behind him. But it wasn't because she didn't want to go with him. It was because he made her feel like a chore, as if he was only looking after his friend's sister but wasn't particularly interested in the actual girl himself. Was it really so hard to separate her brother from the equation?
He opened the door of his red Ferrari for her and it hurt her pride to think she was more than a little impressed. It was common knowledge that Hitsugaya Toushirou wasn't like normal humans, but just how much would surprise even the most seasoned of journalists and others who were supposedly in-the-know. Not only was he a prodigy and an indie rock icon, Toushirou was also the sole heir to a conglomerate whose earnings could dwarf a number of small countries' Gross National Products. As to why he was allowed free reign when he was set to inherit the 'family business' (as his father so quaintly put it) was still a mystery to her. Not that she'd ever ask the older man. They weren't close enough for her to inquire without looking like she was prying, nor did she have some excuse like inebriation to soften the blow. So she kept it to herself, wondering if one day she'd gather enough courage to ask him after sitting on the question for so long.
As he pulled out of the parking lot, Karin could feel her nerves sting in the cool air of the convertible, wondering if she should try to make some conversation. Tonight had been their first real meeting since that previous encounter, all the meaningless drive-bys so few and far between that they barely even greeted each other because they were so fleeting. After all, they both lived very different lives on two separate, almost alien planes, as if there was an invisible barrier between them that she wasn't sure either could transverse or knock down.
"You guys put on an awesome show," she started, her eyes going to him as she tried to ease them into some sort of talk. He grunted, acknowledging it but offering little else. She almost tsk-ed, partly upset that he hadn't even said thanks. "You know, you could at least pretend to be nice to me. It's not like I'm asking for a miracle whenever I attempt to have a decent conversation with you."
"You shouldn't have come tonight," he replied, not taking his eyes off the road but giving her essentially what she wanted, a topic for discussion. Unfortunately, it wasn't one that she really wanted to talk about, knowing that it was bound to turn into an argument.
"Oh really?" She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him through her front bangs. "Why? Was I in the way or something?"
"You're underage at a bar by yourself with a bunch of half-drunk people. Did you really think about what you were doing when you left your dorm?"
"It's not the end of the world, Toushirou. Eighteen year olds have been sneaking into clubs for years now. I'm pretty sure the rest of the universe won't fault me for this one little transgression."
"I'm not worried about those people, I'm worried about you."
The words catch her train of thought, halting the slow boiling of indignant anger and making way for something else entirely. Shock might be it but she's not one-hundred percent sure; it feels like it might be something else as well. She twisted her neck to face him fully, an indescribable look on her face as she watched him with unsure eyes. And although he would've liked to meet that gaze, he made no reaction, as he pulled up to her building and stopped in front of the entrance. She'd forgotten that a short walk meant an even shorter drive, as she looked out to her complex with irritation. But she didn't let it faze her, as she turned back and pretended that they hadn't arrived at all.
"What do you mean by that?" Her voice had an uncharacteristically hardened edge to it, as if she was steeling herself against him. He tried not to read too far into the action.
"Exactly the way it sounds. I don't want you getting into trouble," he shrugged, as if it was that simple. But things were never as they seemed between them. There was always more, some sort of subtext that they couldn't help but use whenever it was just the two of them. Their conversations may have been few but they weren't the kind of dialogues that were used to just fill the silence. Maybe that in itself was the problem. They were free-falling into something and they had no idea what it was or where the hell they were going.
"Like Ichi-nii, right? You're watching out for me because I'm like your younger sister." Her eyes narrowed dangerously, drawing the conclusion out of thin air after having nothing else to go on. But it was the only reason she could find because their underlying words were always encrypted, a language that neither of them seemed to understand, much less speak. Her accusation only made him glare right back, his answer little more than a growl of annoyance.
"No, I don't see you like that at all."
Before she could ask something else, he gave her a pointed look, one promptly saying that she'd overstayed her welcome. It forced her to open the door, silent as she put one foot out and then the other. But while she may have been quiet, her defiant stare back at him was anything but. They were going to finish this conversation one day soon, it promised. After she shut the door, she could only watch as the car peeled out onto the street, carrying their half-completed conversation with it.
AN: Soo... thoughts? :) Review/favorite/alert if you enjoyed! It feeds the hungry Karin!muse who abuses me on a daily basis. No lie. She feeds off my life force if you don't. And for anyone who might be looking for it, don't worry about the IchiRuki. There will be a special place for it in the second part.
And! I have a (not-so-secret) surprise! I do plan on doing a new multi-chapter IchiRuki and I'm going to add the summary at the end of the next chapter. So yes that means I will be working on two fics simultaneously. Wish me luck!
Thanks for reading, everyone!
P.S. Do you know what song my story and chapter titles come from? (Which I don't own by the way.) ;D