A/N: READ. THANKS! SMILE. It's been very long, well for me, that is, since I last updated anything. Now now, I didn't forget, and there is no way I'm abandoning my stories. Well, for now, I won't. As the usual excuse for any author, I've been very busy. Aside, from getting sick all the time, I'm still trying to finish college. Haha! Anyway, this is my first Naruto fic! Please be a bit merciful with all the reviews. This story would have 20-25 chapters, I think? :)

Warnings: SasuNaru (yes, Sasuke is seme, and Naruto, an uke). This would contain violence, sexual content, psychological whatchamacallit and some tearjerkers.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, OKAY?

"Conversation"

Inner Thoughts

"Flashback conversation"

His life was never that kind of 'good' that people always dreamed for their lives. If anything, his life was mundane, sad even. Flashes of happiness were rare in his life, like glittering gems in a sea of white sand. Being forced to move from one orphanage to another, no one could blame him that he had become who he was now. Withdrawn, alone, and pitiful.

Whoever said that kids in orphanages were in good hands? It was all a delusional lie of make believe that he, at a young age of eight, sadly realized. Being beaten to submission, worked like a pig, and fed like a rat were hardly anything as 'good hands.' You'd think they would at least be sympathetic to children who had already lost their loved ones, but no, they didn't even feel the least bit kind.

From when he was still a fledgling awkwardly living through his childhood, Naruto knew. Life wasn't a garden of roses, not as sweet as their smell and beautiful as their projected image. Like his mother was. Life definitely wasn't a field of daisies, not as peaceful as they swayed against the wind and calm as their simple appearance. Like his father was. Life was actually a vivid maze, full of twists and turns, and at every corner, something lurks. Either good or bad, depends on your luck really. If you had any at all.

Well, to one Uzumaki Naruto, he didn't have any. Sure, he should be thankful that he was adopted by someone as 'great'—he rolled his eyes—as Tsunade, but he couldn't find it in himself to accept what he just heard from the mouth of his guardian.

"Could you repeat that?"

Tsunade's eyes burned like embers as she stared at him. Naruto had always found her beautiful. With long corn blonde hair, tied back in a low ponytail, larger than normal breasts, petite frame, and delicate contours, she was naturally beautiful. You wouldn't think that this thirty-ish looking woman was actually in her fifties.

Naruto shuddered to himself. Genetics worked in scary scary ways. Charming as her appearance was, Tsunade's personality was as evil as they came. A gambler, drunkard, and an immature hag, she just loved annoying the hell out of him just for the fun of it. All the respect he had for her was crushed in an instant. He will never tell her that for an instant he thought of her as an angel. If he did, she would never let him live it down. Who knows what she would make him do?

It was an orphanage in Amegakure that he was given the chance to meet her. Without even trying to, that strong, imposing, and beautiful blond captivated him, and lulled him to believe in fairy tales once again. But he knew better, and though he was only eleven at the time, he already learned to never trust any adult he would come across. They were deceitful, cruel, and frightening, and the woman he had seen wouldn't be any better. Never judge a book by its cover, as they say.

Naruto was proven wrong. Every day she came to visit the orphanage he was housed in, she never stopped talking to him—calling out to him, though she did them by bickering with him like a kid, and hitting him with her fists. Damn, she packed a punch. He always wondered if she was a gorilla in human's skin. That would have been more understandable. Naruto could hardly believe it when he found out that she was a doctor, and an amazing one at that.

Six months of arguing and fighting like cats and dogs, he begrudgingly opened up to her. She listened to him quietly as she did, her biting and sarcastic remarks disappearing into thin air, as he shared his secrets, his life, and just everything. She understood him, and he with her. She brought out that brave side he thought he had lost long ago. Naruto felt at ease with her, and at times, he wondered. Is this what it feels like to have family? On his twelfth birthday, Tsunade dropped the bomb that changed his life forever.

"Wanna come with me, brat?"

Until this day, he still couldn't figure out why he accepted her outstretched hand without hesitation. He accepted wholeheartedly. Yes, he was scared, doubtful, and just downright nervous but he didn't pass up the opportunity. To feel that warmth and contentment from someone who truly cared for you, it felt blissful. It was a leap of faith, and it was a chance he decided to take with his whole being. With all the legal matters taken care of, Tsunade flew him off to the States where his life began once again.

He was almost seventeen now, and five years had passed since then. They struggled but they survived every obstacle thrown their way. Tsunade was her sister, mother, and grandmother as he so fondly calls her. She didn't know how grateful he was of her, not that she would ever know that. However, now, as she spoke such dreadful words, he could only try not to hate her even just the tiniest bit.

"Don't make me repeat it, brat."

The spite and flare she usually intoned with his pet name were replaced with anger and a hint of frustration. Naruto knew though, but he refused to acknowledge it. Instead, he turned his head away from her, his gaze firmly rooted to the wall. He felt his eyes stinging from trying to hold back his tears. His fists clutched the bench he was sitting on, trying to stem whatever it was he was feeling from bursting out. Naruto wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he broke down in front of Tsunade of all people. Not that he hadn't before; it just hurt his pride every single time.

"Naruto…"

Tsunade whispered, and he tried not to flinch. She only called him like that when she was serious, and right now, the situation was more serious than serious. Naruto sighed, his shoulders slumping before turning to face her. He stared at her, taking note of the pallor of her skin, before his eyes met hers. He swallowed, she looked like she had aged, looking the way she should at fifty, and he could only feel guilty. Tsunade's usually fiery irises of golden embers now looked dull against her face as she stared at him pleadingly. Naruto's mouth opened hesitantly.

"I know, baachan…"

His voice was hoarse and he could only wonder, how long has it been since he felt this way? Too speechless for words as if something was lodged in his throat, disabling him to speak freely. Pale, thin arms wrapped around him suddenly, his face crushed against Tsunade's generous bosom, and for the first time, he didn't protest. He nuzzled her breasts, as crystalline tears flowed down his face. Naruto cried, whined and sobbed for all he was worth, not holding anything back.

His mismatched emotions crashed down on him, washing over him like an icy waterfall over his warm body. He was sad, angry, lonely and terrified at the injustice of his situation. Yet, at the same time, he was just as glad, relieved, and content that everything would pass soon. Naruto was confused, and even with all these conflicting feelings, he couldn't help but feel a bit hopeful that something good would come out of this. He closed his bright sapphire eyes, dampened by his tears, as he burrowed himself further in Tsunade's embrace.

"I'm sorry, Naruto…I'm so sorry…"

Tsunade whispered brokenly, over and over again like a mantra in his head. She had nothing to be sorry for. If anything, he should be the one saying sorry for causing her such grief. If he knew this was going to happen, then, he would have done everything just so he wouldn't be in her care right now. At the thought, his fists clutched her clothes. I'm sorry baachan…

Naruto released a quivering sigh, his eyes still closed, savoring the warmth emitting from Tsunade's shivering form. From there, the fox-lover felt that indescribable urge to start anew. It was time he let go because he knew a year and a half were far too short for him to continue being the recluse that he was.

It was time for change, and a time for him to do all the things he wished so deeply in the core of his being. Right that instant, Uzumaki Naruto had decided. His new life would start and end in his hometown in Japan, Konoha.

…

Sannin Tsunade never thought her life would turn out the way they did. It was true she was hailed as one of the most legendary doctors of her time, and she was proud of that, who wouldn't? But what use was being a doctor if you can't even save the people you love? It was like a doctor's curse. Being able to save people, but never being able to do so when it came to your loved ones, it was just as horrible as any fucked up curse there was known to man.

In their field, it was an unspoken rule. A doctor should never operate on the people they're closest to, though some still did. It wasn't as if it was an established rule, but it was preferred if they stick to it. Why? Knowing your emotions are running wild every second they lie there bleeding, your ability to think rationally and logically would be affected.

She had more than enough experience to believe that, yes, doctors were the finest among hypocrites. The irony of it was that doctors were sworn under the Hippocratic Oath—a man of medicine shall heal anyone without bias. It was stupidly amusing, yet obviously painful.

After Nawaki and Dan, she no longer operated on anyone close to her, and kept to herself, choosing a rogue life. It was an oath, one that had not been broken for twenty-five long years. Her career flourished, and her hands saved many, but that lingering fear never vanished. And now as she stared at his charge, all the feelings she had bottled up, everything that she had hidden so meticulously within her just sprung up all at once. It left her breathless and weak, and just so broken.

Naruto stared at her, his eyes swirling with emotions she could clearly read. Anger, sadness, and hate. She couldn't even bring herself to feel angry, that a part of his blond charge, blamed her. Tsunade felt the same way too, and after so long, the legendary doctor, was at a loss for words. It wasn't supposed to happen that way. Not after Nawaki and Dan.

Tsunade had met Naruto in Amegakure. Why she was even there in the first place was still blurry at best. It may have been because that place housed one of the best sake, she could ever taste in her damned life, or just because she felt like it. Either way, both reasons appealed to her. Then, on her many scavenger hunts for sake, she had stumbled upon an orphanage.

What she saw right away was a brat, who was being beaten to the ground by the other kids. Tsunade could remember, she had wanted to punch all the kids away, the blond included since he was so weak, but she stopped in her tracks. She watched as that battered kid stood up, and grinned as if all his wounds were merely decorations on his skin. His eyes shone determinedly as he shouted.

"Give me all you've got! I'm not cowards like you!"

His eyes then held that fire so alike to them, that she was in a trance for some time before she intervened, and shooed the kids away.

"I don't need your help!"

Naruto had been such a sore loser then, and without meaning to, he had captivated her. Six months later, she knew she needed him in his life. It had been so long since she had anyone to call family, and she had decided that he would take him along with her to the States.

Five years had passed, and looking back on it now, she could only smile as fond memories crept their way to her head. What worried her then was his lack of interaction with other people. He never acted the way he was with her to others. Naruto had shut people out of his life, and if she didn't know his history, she would have been dragging his sorry ass outside.

Naruto deserved better in life, she had thought in passing. But now…why was life so unfair? Why couldn't she have noticed the symptoms early on? If she had, she could have done something. Now, it was too late, and to be the one delivering his prognosis, she felt like she was the worst person in the world. Even more so when she had seen tears shine in his bright cerulean eyes. It had been five years since she last saw Naruto cry.

"Naruto…"

She watched as he sighed before turning to her once again.

"I know, baachan…"

It had been instinctive; mother's instinct, as they would like to call it. Naruto was within her arms in an instant, and when those sobs made its way into her ears, she felt tears fall from her eyes. Her voice desperately asking for his forgive ness. I'm sorry, Naruto. I'm so sorry. It was happening all over again. Soon, she would be alone again, and she would be left wallowing in despair. This time, when it happens, it won't be long before she followed Naruto along. She had already lived life, and losing another person so dear to her would probably do her in.

She would cause her own self-destruction one way or another, like she had years before he had met Naruto. As her brat cried for all he was worth, she swore that she would do anything for him. No matter what it was, she would make it happen. Absolutely. Being a legendary doctor had its perks too. They may live in a two-bedroom apartment, but she was filthy rich. She liked to live simply, though she spent her fortune on gambling and liquor.

This time, it was all for Naruto, and if she had anything to say about it, she would prolong his life expectancy. Tsunade would do anything for Naruto, and knowing him, even if he was breaking now, he would stand again. He would definitely refuse being cooped up in their humbly home.

Tsunade pulled away once he felt Naruto's sobs cease, and felt his breathing against her neck. She watched as he slept peacefully. Running her hand through his golden blond locks, she smiled sadly. He had grown so much, but she was still his little brat. He was her son, grandson, and everything else that a woman could hope for in her family. She will be there for him, until the end. Then, it was her time to go as well.

…

Beneath the dark covered sky, one man stood, his silver rings glinted as he kicked off the grime and blood that splattered over his shoes. He turned around when footsteps neared him, and he could only stare at his uninvited guest with blank eyes. Shikamaru sighed and shook his head, his slouched posture and his lazy eyes not even batting an eyelash at the many unmoving bodies scattered around them.

"What is it this time?"

His footsteps were soundless as he approached his bike. He didn't even spare the spiky-haired man a glance when he walked past him.

"They were annoying."

He offered uselessly. Shikamaru sighed, his eyes taking in the damage, he had done once again. Ten men were scattered on the floor, all sporting bloody faces, their limbs twisted behind their backs, and their eyes rolled to the back of their heads. If it weren't for the slow rising of their chests, he would already have assumed they were dead. He didn't even feel the least bit disgusted at the grotesque display. He had been seeing them for years already.

"Your brother would throw a fit when he finds out."

"Hn."

Shikamaru resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and by instinct, he raised his hand, catching the black helmet thrown his way. Without another word, he put on the safety gear, mounted his bike behind him, and clutched the back of the vehicle.

"Where to now?"

It was a force of habit. Asking these petty questions when he already knew the answers. Being this person's 'friend' already taught him everything there was to know about him. Even without that, his intelligence wouldn't let it get past him.

"The club."

He ignited the engine, and his bike roared to life.

"Neji will be his mother-ass self again, you know that, right?"

"He could just go and fuck himself."

Shikamaru sighed. Why was he with them again? Right, he had to take damage control even if he was a lazy bum who could care less if the world ended right that instant.

"Whatever."

He held on tight as the biked swerved a corner, and they fell into silence. No words were spoken as they drove through the deserted streets of Konoha, leaving nothing but the smoke from the bike's exhaust. The shadows gave way to the moon, and its celestial light revealed the brutally beaten bodies scattered around the secluded alley. A blond haired man stepped from the shadows and took one look at the mess before shaking his head.

"Itachi will definitely not like this. And damn, I'm on cleaning duty again, shitty munchkin."

He fished his phone from his jean pocket, dialed an awfully familiar number, and waited impatiently.

"What the fuck do you want?"Peachy.

Deidara rolled his eyes before answering.

"Oi Kisame, get your stinky ass down Ichiraku street, the little Uchiha did it again."

"It's fucking one in the morning art hoe; I'm not in the mood to move mangled limbs when I haven't slept for four fucking days!'"

Deidara winced and pulled his phone away from his ringing ears. Kisame was definitely not in a good mood. The man seldom used foul language. Hmm…rough day. But did he give a damn about what he says? Nope, definitely not.

"Yeah yeah, and Itachi will have your ass for not doing your job."

He heard rustling from the other side, and Deidara could only smirk. It always worked like a charm. Nobody can say no when Itachi was involved. It would be way too soon when you see hell on earth when you disobey him.

"Fucking gay blond."

Kisame hung up and Deidara happily closed his phone and stretched. He took in the morbid sight once again before sighing. Sometimes, he really hated his job. He caught sight of the moon, taking note of its red-tinged glow. A red moon, huh? It usually meant something ominous would be coming. He smiled wryly. As if this town wasn't bad enough, more trouble would be coming?

It was highly laughable, and he could only wonder, was it really an omen or something else entirely? Deidara shrugged, it wasn't as if anything could be done in this town. The people here were in way too deep, that only a miracle—if it really does exist—would save this hellhole. He already sided with the dark side of things. It was easier that way anyway. He turned around and smiled a cruel smile.

"Now then, what do I do about you trash?"

…

Naruto stepped onto the baggage platform of the airport, his eyes bright, and his whole body screaming with energy. It had been more than ten hours, and that stupid metal contraption didn't make his journey any better. If he spent another hour in the plane, he would have exploded!

He took in his surroundings with curiosity and awe. Konoha had changed. 'Change' was putting it mildly. Everything was different, and his hometown had expanded so much that it looked more like a city than a small village. Well, he had been away from this place for ten solid years; surely, things would be changing one way or another.

"Oi brat, do me a favor and stop gawking like an idiot."

Tsunade chided behind him, and he scowled. She took off her sunglasses and smirked at him while he fumed silently. Sometimes, his relationship with his guardian bordered on hate, than 'familial love.' Naruto huffed and stomped towards her, snatching the bags she carried along with her.

She carried their luggage as if they were candy bags. It was no surprise when he found people staring their way; they must think Tsunade was a monster with her inhumane strength. Naruto didn't even know that they were actually attracting attention because they looked so out of place. With their matching blond hair, one of pale sunflowers, and the other almost golden in the light, they were definitely not locals of Konoha. Aside from their eye-catching hair, together, they looked too good to be true.

Tsunade was still her beautiful self with her shapely figure, large mounds, and fiery eyes, and her reputation that exceeded many. Who wouldn't know of her when her name was known throughout the world? In Naruto's case, gone was his shy demeanor, and he exuded maturity with a twinge of playfulness. His rounded face had slimmed, his cerulean eyes no less bright, and his tanned skin shone healthily against the artificial lights. He was handsome, elegant, and he oozed with charisma.

Not that the blond youth ever realized that, but Tsunade knew better. She smiled secretly as she watched him move from one place to another. His days of being a recluse ended that fateful day, and now, he was officially a hyperactive idiot at the age of seventeen. It had taken almost five months for her to accomplish the legal papers for their migration to Japan. Usually, it took no less than three years. With the right connections, you can get far in life.

"Oi gaki, let's get going. I'll leave you here if you don't stop wiggling your worm-infested ass."

Naruto cringed, her crudeness never ceased to amaze him. He could only wonder how he was able to remain pure when it came to language, despite living with her. Tsunade wasn't the best when it came to teaching kids the right way to speak.

"Yeah yeah, old hag, whatever you say."

She glared at him before scoffing and proceeding towards the exit. Naruto rolled his eyes. So immature. He clicked his tongue and followed after her, his eyes still roaming around. It wasn't the Konoha he was expecting. His hometown back then was ultimately smaller than this place. They didn't even have an airport then! It was exciting and nerve-wracking as well.

To be back to the place he both abhorred and loved most when he was young. Only a little more than a year left. Naruto shook his head, and grinned to himself. He shouldn't be thinking about those depressing things. He had a mission to do, and he'll be damned if he didn't accomplish the list he had painstakingly written once he starts school. The bucket list he had written. It was depressing, he knew, but he already got over that stage when he was told that he had only a year and a half to live.

He will live now with no regrets, and he'll accomplish each damned thing he had written over the past five months. Of course, not even Tsunade knew he had a list to do before he died; it would only make her more depressed. That, and she'll make sure that she helped him accomplish them. The young blond couldn't have that. It would lose its meaning if he didn't do them with his own strength.

It was his own little secret, and he would take that list with him to the grave. Naruto looked up once he was outside. He covered his eyes with the back of his hand as the sun's rays hit his sensitive eyes. He grinned, his determination shining in his ocean irises. Better be ready for me Konoha! Uzumaki Naruto is back and ready!

Another A/N: I was inspired to write this when my friend just blurted out that she wanted to make a bucket list. I already had one, mind you, but it's still not finished. How about you guys? Care to tell me what your bucket list consists of? It could help me with ideas to this story. :)

Heads-up:

- I named Tsunade with Sannin as her last name because you know, I really don't know her last name.

- Amegakure came up and because I like the rain with the village added to that, you get Amegakure. Haha stupid logic, I know!

- Naruto's illness will be revealed later on.

- For now, the genre would be Romance/Drama. I'll change it later on as the story progresses.

Happy Happy Reading! Reviews would be GREAT! DATTEBAYO!