SUMMARY: What if Bella was only the quiet, insecure introvert we all know when around Edward and Alice? What if, when away from the Dominating Duo, she was strong and confident, with a steel backbone and a smart mouth? Around Emmett, she was the competitive little sister with the dirty mouth when smack-talking him over a video game. Around Rosalie, she had an answer to everything, and matched each one of the vampire's malicious glares with a wide, bitchy smirk. Around Carlisle and Esme, she was the witty daughter with a smart remark to any topic. Around Jasper… Well, she never was, as Edward saw him as the weak link; most likely to go after her blood. But she found a way to communicate with him, heightening certain emotions for him to feel, to which he would respond with a different emotion. It was a conversation, of sorts. One only they knew about. Based off many confidence inspiring songs, but named after 'BO$$' by Fifth Harmony. "Those Gossip Girl princesses had nothing on me. I was a class A bitch." Sarcasm, sexual innuendos and super-hot vamps this way.
A/N: THIS IS A REWRITTEN CHAPTER. AS OF THIS DATE – THE TWENTY-NINTH OF JUNE 2017 – IT IS THE FIRST OF TWO UPDATED, REWRITTEN CHAPTERS POSTED. This means that, though the plot hasn't changed, the style of writing will be completely different to the following chapters. Just a warning so no one is confused.
Next order of business: WELCOME [BACK] TO MY STORY! I place this, within the Twilight timeline, just after Edward comes back in New Moon. Now, in my mind, Jake is gay as hell and not a wolf and has been best friends with Bella since youth (I've made them the same age), Bella is a sassy-ass independent bitch who (whilst understandably was upset) did not fall apart when Edward left her. I think that covers everything so on with the show.
Chapter 1 – It Takes Two to Tango, You Don't Wanna Dance with Me
"Boo, you whore," Jake quoted through the phone as his perfectly annoying best friend, Bella Swan, informed him that she wouldn't be coming down for drinks later. "You never come over anymore, bitch… I miss you. And your tits that distract Mr Murphy enough that he doesn't ask for ID when we get whiskey."
Affronted, said best friend, who was holding the phone between her ear and her shoulder due to her hands being busy typing away on her laptop, pouted, despite the fact that he couldn't see it.
"Ho, don't make me hang up on you," she threatened, though both knew full well that she'd be bored instantly and would call him back.
"Okay, okay, sheesh, I'm just sayin'… I mean, seriously, how long has it been since you had your cute, white ass down here anyway? I get bored without you, Bells."
Her answering quip was instantaneous. "That's because you don't have any other friends."
Jacob scoffed, placing a hand over his heart in mock pain. Even without seeing it, Bella knew he was doing just that. "Ouch, that hurt, bitch. Plus, it's not like you're exactly a social butterfly; other than me and your creepy-ass boyfriend's family, you don't have friends either."
Shifting the laptop off its perch on her knees and onto the table beside her bed, Bella rolls her eyes, not surprised in the slightest when her best friend makes a rude comment about her boyfriend. There was a time she used to defend the boy she loved; but she soon learned that it did not stop Jacob Black and his boyfriend-hating comments, so now she simply brushed them off.
"Yes, I do!" She argued in defence. "There's Angela, and Jessica, and Lauren, and Mike, and – "
"Uh huh, and exactly how many of them do you actually like?"
"Hey! Angie's nice! And that doesn't mean they're not my friends – I mean, I don't like you most of the time and you're my best friend."
As she glanced at the clock on her wall, Bella could practically hear his answering pout as he spoke. "Harsh, bitch."
Laughing as she stands up from her bed, she rolls her eyes and placates her best friend of over a decade. "Aw, sweetie, I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean it. Listen, I have to go now but I promise I'll get my cute, white ass down there soon, okay?"
"Fine," Jacob brightens, consoled by the promise and amused by his next thought. "Off to shag your prude?"
Shocked, though she knows she shouldn't be when it comes to him, Bella's jaw drops open and an indignant scoff escapes. "You're gross."
She hangs up quickly, cutting off his answering cackle.
Cackle. Like a witch. Aren't all witches female? Oh, gross, Jake as a woman. Oh, gross, Jake with a vagina.
Shuddering in disgust, Bella does her best to shake the thought from her mind as she walks downstairs, knowing Alice will have seen her decision to pay the Cullens a visit and would already be on her way. The brunette passes her father in the living room, eyes glued to the television, as he gives a half-hearted wave in what he hopes is her direction. It isn't.
Chuckling, Bella tells him she's going to see Edward and that she'll be back later.
With a smirk, Charlie casually nods and answers. "Use protection."
Scoffing at her dad's idea of a joke, she answers in turn. "Nah, only the boring people do. I'm too cool for that."
"Alright, but trust me, I know from experience the horrors of having a child. You're on your own with that one."
He didn't even bat an eyelid. Actually, he didn't even bat an eyelid and he also insulted me at the same time.
Opening her mouth to reply with an equally sassy remark – because Isabella Swan does not back down from a challenge – she is cut off by the doorbell and all is forgotten.
"See you later, dad," Bella calls out as she opens the front door and steps outside.
"Hey, Alice."
~*~BOSS~*~
After numerous hours of torture – Alice style – Bella is freed, only to land in the clutches of Emmett and his array of video games. On the one hand, the now primped-up brunette is happy because playing video games is shit she can dig most of the time – with her equally-human friends – but playing against someone with vampire reflexes makes it extremely difficult for her and her competitiveness.
As the hulking form of Emmett grins over at her, victorious again, she pouts, huffing. "Shut up, bitch, you might beat me at video games but I'm prettier than you."
The mountain of a man barks out a laugh, and his much smaller, much less supernatural side-kick joins him, rolling her eyes at herself and her tantrum.
Their banter continues back and forth as they carry on playing until eventually Emmett's teasing drives Bella to throw a sofa cushion at him before storming off in faux outrage.
In the kitchen, she comes across the most mysterious member of the family and, without even looking at him, she initiates their kind of conversation – intensifying her brotherly love for Emmett and combining it with mischievousness. This immediately tips Jasper off that she's plotting revenge and he can't help the smirk that grows on his face nor the twinkle of humour that glints in his eye as he silently leaves the room.
Bella, grinning and plotting, hops up to sit on the kitchen counter, counting down the days until she grows the balls to tell her controlling boyfriend that he isn't her father and can't stop her from speaking to Jasper if she so wishes. And she does so wish.
Now, what to do to Emmett…
A/N: Let me know what you think of the rewrite in the form of a review. I hope you enjoyed it and I promise to do my best to get the next rewrite up soon.
Also, serious question, guys. I really don't have a vision of where I want this story to go, so I was thinking of making it like a request/prompt sort of thing? Like you guys give me a phrase/idea/word and I turn it into a chapter and sort of shape it all into one big story. I don't know, but if you guys are interested let me know and start sending your prompts (for Chapter 10 and onwards)! Just an idea, let me know what you think.
I am currently looking for a Beta so if anyone's interested, just PM me!
Disclaimer: Yep, it's all me, I wrote Twilight (are you kidding me? Of course, I didn't). Also, the titles of the chapters are taken from previously mentioned confidence inspiring songs. This chapter is from 'Jealous Girl' by Lana del Rey.
Thanks and kisses, Lianne.