"A²"

Disclaimer: We own DeathNote. Yes, in our dreams. Maybe this is our dream... if it is, then what are you doing here? Also, what are Matt, Mello and Near doing in my bedroom?

A/N: So, yes, this is the second Mello's ABC's. But, it's all right if you haven't read the first one. All you have to know is that they are in Wammy house, and Mello is really random. Also, if you want to read the first one, it's on whitetyger123's account. Now, with no further ado, bring on the hilariousness!

Matt came running into Nears room, breathing heavily. He sat down on the bed to catch his breath. 'Ea... ear... ear...'

Near tried to understand the red-head sitting on his bed, but to no avail.

'Ear plugs.' He finally managed to cough out. 'He's... starting again.'

Nears eyes went wide. 'Oh no...'

Any doubt about the meaning of that dark sentence was washed from Nears mind as Mello walked in, black leather and all. 'Matt! Where did you go? I haven't finished telling you about my story... Near! Now I can tell you, too!'

'Actually, I must get going. I... have class.'

Mello's eyes shrank to slits. 'On a Saturday?' Near was too slow coming up with another lie, so Mello moved him and Matt farther into the room. 'So, I was halfway through my story, but since you didn't hear it, Near, I will start over. So, while I was in the common room, I decided to talk to the girl beside me. So, when I politely tried to make conversation, she said that I was azygous. I don't actually know what it means, but it sounds cool. But, since I am hot, cool, and perfect, I'm sure it means something along those lines… So I was like...'

Near, in order to hear a different voice, said, 'It means not one of a pair; having no mate; odd.'

'You lie. It means hot, confident, and ruler of the world.'

'No.'

'What, do you read a dictionary for fun, or something?'

'Yes, because unlike you, I can keep more things in my mind then the seasons new black outfits, and remember it for longer then a gold fish.'

'Well, I will change the meaning of it to suit my purposes. So, from now on, Azygous means hot and sexy. In the dictionary, there will just be a picture of me. And, maybe an apple. A caramel apple. But instead of caramel, it will be covered with chocolate. Ya, I think that will be good. Do you know that Shinigami like apples? I mean, apples aren't as great as me, but they're not bad. I wonder if they have black...'

His attention was stolen by someone walking past the door. 'That guy had an afro!' He then proceeded to follow the man. Leaving Matt and Near to frantically look for ear plugs. Not running was the biggest mistake of the afro guy's life. 'You have an afro! Do you use a lot of conditioner? Do you tease it, or does it just do that? You know, there is a guy named Aizawa. He has an afro. But then he cut it. Do you feel sorry for people sitting behind you in the movie theater? When you get your height measured, do you add your hair?'

The man with the fro blinked. 'Do you want an afro or something?'

'What? No, I love my hair.'

'Oh. Well, then to answer your questions; yes; no, it just does that; sometimes; and I don't get measured that often.'

Well, the man had to have some reason that he was in Wammy house.