Based on „The Journey to Mikeys Mind" S4E6

Raph, Leo and Donnie got to meet Mikeys true self, as well as Angry Mikey, Playful Mikey, Crazy Mikey and Hungry Mikey. But there is one Mikey they never thought even existed, and never really wanted to meet. Sad Mikey.

–

Hearing Mikeys different aspects of personality rap was not really a piece of high art to listen to. But Donnie figured out the clues anyway. The key to Mikeys true self was to find the door to his imagination.

„Where is this goddamn door?", asked Raph, fed up with searching Mikeys subconscious. „Could be anywhere", answered Donnie, „but we're already in Mikeys subconscious, so it should be close by."

„You are close indeed, brothers dearest."

Leo, Donnie and Raph suddenly stopped, looking around. The voice had sounded like their little brother, but.. kind of wrong.

„I am down here. Please do not stop on me, I would be so very grateful."

The Turtles looked to the floor of Mikeys imaginary theatre stage of a subconscious and could not believe their eyes.

It was their brother all right – the size of a hamster and with a spark in his eyes none of them noticed.

„Another Mikey?", Leo asked, kneeling down on the floor to inspect his little brother closer.

„And what part of Mikeys personality might you be?"

The little Mikey bowed. „I am Michelangelos intellectual side. I may be small, but I do have my moments. It is nice to talk to you."

The three brothers exchanged confused looks. It was true that Mikey sometimes showed wisdom they did not believe he had – and he did have genius ideas and intelligent outbursts sometimes.

„Well, nice to meet you too – uh – smart Mikey.", Donnie said, also sitting down on the floor. „You said we were close to your imagination?"

Smart Mikey nodded, but his eyes clouded with sorrow. „Yes, it is just a bit further down the road. But I fear it is guarded by a side of my personality you might find a bit – let's say – disturbing."

Raph laughed. „More disturbing than crazy Mikey? I think we can handle it."

„On the contrary Raphael. I think it might even be hardest for you to encounter him."

The red masked turtle frowned. „Why? What do you mean? We have already met angry Mikey, crazy Mikey, hungry Mikey, 'I'm-not-making-any-sense-Mikey', and you! We know all of your personalities."

Smart Mikey sighed and shook his head.

„That is exactly the point. You have met all of my personality streaks that you see almost everyday. What you haven't encountered is the side that the outside Mikey keeps to himself. The side of him he doesn't show. And frankly, it is also the side he never wanted any of you to see. But I believe under these circumstances, he does not have a choice."

Suddenly, Leo held up his hand.

„Listen, guys. Do you hear that?"

„Hear what?", asked Raph.

„Shush. Listen!"

Donnie and Raph closed their eyes, and after a few seconds, there it was again. A sound they were not quite familiar with – but it felt really wrong.

Smart Mikey sighed again, but had a sad smile on his face.

„It will be very uncomfortable for you to meet him, but I have confidence in you, my brothers. Do not forget that we love each other. He tends to forget that sometimes."

And with that sentence, small little smart Mikey was gone, vanished into thin air.

„Oh. I kinda enjoyed talking to intelligent Mikey.", said Donnie, getting up from the floor.

„Still.", said Leo. „I don't like what he said. What did he mean we wouldn't like seeing what we would find?"

„Only one way to find out!", said Raph and picked up the pace into the direction of the strange noise.

It seemed to get a little darker, the more they walked. The bright red curtain of their brothers imaginary theatre changed from a bright tomato red to a deep blood red and the light seemed to vanish.

And soon, they found out why.

„Look! There he is! Mikey!", shouted Leo.

„Go away.", Mikey mumbled, their face away from them, only showing his brothers his shell.

He was normal sized, but his knees were tucked to his chest and he buried his face in his arms.

„Mikey?"

„I said 'go away!' Leave me alone!"

Their brother had turned around, and the single movement and the look on their brothers face made them gasp. The face of a crying Mikey pierced their hearts.

„Why are you still here?", Mikey asked, hiccuping and wiping his tears from his cheeks. „You don't want me around anyway. Don't pretend like you really want to rescue me."

„M-Mikey.", Raph said, trying to take a step forward. „What are you saying?"

Donnie, always the smart guy, sighed. „Guys. I think we have found sad Mikey."

„Sad Mikey?", Leo asked. „Mikey is never sad. He's always happy!"

Donnie continued: „On the outside, maybe. But everybody is sad sometimes, Leo. And you know Mikey, he wears his emotions on his sleeve, he's an open book. But not when it comes to being sad and lonely."

„Lonely?"

„Oh, don't pretend like you don't know, Raph!", Mikey shouted suddenly and stood up from the floor. „Of course I'm lonely!"

„But- but why? You have us! We would never leave you, you know that?" Raphaels confusion was real. Mikey felt lonely? When?

„Oh please. Every time you guys say I'm a screw up, every time you say „Shut up, Mikey", every time you say 'not now, Mikey.', how do you think that makes me feel? I know I'm not wanted! I know you don't appreciate me. And I know, sometime soon, you'll leave me. You have plenty of other people to care about. What do I count for?"

Leo felt his heart ache so bad, a slight moan escaped his throat. Donnie put his hand on his chest and Raph was so shocked by his brothers outburst, he took two steps back. But Mikey wasn't finished. Still, rivers of tears escaped his eyed. He shivered and hugged himself closely, but couldn't make eye contact with his brothers.

„You all think you know me, but you don't. You all think you know how much I love you, but you don't. You just ignore me, every time I try to show you."

„Mikey, you have to believe us.", pleaded Leo, trying to hold back tears himself. He never thought he would hear his youngest brother say words like these. „Why would we leave you? We love you!"

„Donnie has April!", Mikey shouted and turned around again. „He loves her and that is great. But what about me? He never has time for me anymore. Same with you, Raph. All you do these days is take Casey out to defeat purple dragons. And when you come home, you're too tired or annoyed to even pay attention to anything I say."

„But-",

„Don't 'but-' me, Leo. You're even worse than them. All you care about is what dad and Karai think of you. All you think of is your training and how you can be a better leader. How about thinking how to be a better brother for a change?"

Leo wanted to answer him. Raph wanted to say something. All of them wanted to tell him that it was not true. That they loved him. That he was insecure for no reason. But deep inside themselves they knew, that even if they would never hurt their brother on purpose, never leave him behind, there was a little bit of truth in his words. And that hurt the most.

„I've had enough of you. Just – leave me alone already.", Mikey sad, sat down again and tried to hide in his shell.

Raph wanted to run and hug his baby brother, but Leo held his shoulder and shook his head.

„There's nothing we can do, Raph. It's part of his personality. We can't change how he feels in his subconscious."

„But we can't just leave him like this. Leo, don't you see him? He's suffering! He needs us!"

„And that's exactly why we need to get out of here.", said Donnie. „We can only change how he feels when we get him back. Look. There's the door."

They did as their lonely brother wished. They left him alone. But it was the hardest thing they ever had to endure, harder than they had ever imagine. Leaving Mikey behind to cry and be alone, unable to do anything.

As they reached the door, Mikeys inner theatre got brighter and more colourful again. But the turtles were discouraged.

„Listen, guys.", Leo said, his voice silent, almost a whisper. „When we get out of here, we can't tell Mikey that we ever saw this."

„What? Why not? Leo, you saw how he feels. We need to do something."

Donnie interrupted and tried to calm his brother down. „You heard what smart Mikey said. There's a reason why we never see Mikey like this. Because he doesn't want us to see how insecure and lonely he can be sometimes."

„Donnie's right. All we can do is get him out of here and remember this. We need to show him more often that we appreciate him, that we love our brother. This side of him may control him someday. And we don't want that."

The only thing Raph could do was agree.

They all turned away and tried to ignore that the others were trying to wipe tears from their faces. Finally, they reached the door.

Of course, the password was Pizza. But as the three brothers got sucked into little Mikeys childish imagination, they asked themselves if the pizza sometimes had a bitter aftertaste, when Mikey had to eat alone, because his brothers were to busy doing other things. Busy ignoring him.