Ucchan is Mine

by thesweeper1957

A sequel to Asylum. Ukyo takes in an unusual little girl. The little girl becomes attached to Ukyo, and sees every man as a threat; Tsubasa in particular. If that's not bad enough, a little boy, who happens to be Kuno's cousin, fall in love with her. Things get interesting when Tatewaki and Kodachi Kuno come for a visit, and Ranma shows up as well.

Ucchan is Mine

I was sitting at the counter in Ucchan's restaurant eating okonomiyaki while Ucchan was at the grill preparing okonomiyaki for a crowd of hungry customers, and Miki, the pretty lady who owns the clothing boutique next door, was sitting next to me, eating okonomiyaki and telling me all about a shipment of children's clothing that just arrived that day.

"Rina," she said, "will you come over tomorrow and model for me?"

"It'll have to wait 'til after karate," I said. "Is that okay?"

"Sure thing, cupcake."

"Miki, are you sure you want me to come after karate? I'm going to be kind of sweaty."

"A little glow is okay. It adds to the allure."

Adds to the allure?

Just then, someone burst in through the door of the restaurant. "Ukyo, darling," said that someone, "I'm here to be a father to your precious child." When I saw who it was I wanted to hide.

"Tsubasa," said Ucchan, shaking a spatula at him, "go away. Rina has a father."

Tsubasa placed his brown leather handbag on the counter, adjusted his skirt and blouse and pushed back his long bleached blond hair with his hands before taking a seat.

"Where is this so-called father?" he said. "Why isn't he here taking care of his child? My darling Ukyo, your baby needs a real father and that's why I'm here."

"Tsubasa," said Ucchan, with fire in her pretty eyes, "I've told you a thousand times I'm not interested. You might as well take yourself right back out that door."

"Ukyo, darling, don't be that way. I've traveled all the way from Nerima to offer you my love and help you raise your lovely daughter. I'll forgive you your indiscretion and I'll love her like she's my own. Won't you reconsider?"

"No." The muscles were tensed in her lovely little jaw.

Miki leaned over to me and whispered, "What is that lady going on about?"

"That's not a lady," I said. "That's a guy."

"Oh really?" she giggled. "A pretty fellow, isn't he?"

"I suppose."

"Where is the child?" asked Tsubasa, gazing around the room. "Oh, there she is. Well, there's no mistaking her is there? Come here child and let me look at you."

I shook my head.

"A shy little thing, isn't she?"

"Tsubasa," said Ucchan, tapping a spatula on the grill, "are you going to order something?"

"Oh yes, yes, yes. I was fantasizing about your okonomiyaki on the train. Ukyo, darling, you wouldn't believe how ecstatic I was when I found out where you were.

Ucchan ladled some batter on the grill and began to add the ingredients. I could tell she wasn't ecstatic about him finding out where she was. Tsubasa was one of the reasons she moved away from Nerima to the southwest coast of Japan. The other reason, unfortunately, was me.

"Now where were we?" said Tsubasa. "Oh yes. Ukyo darling, I'll be a better lover and father than you ever imagined. Won't you reconsider?"

"No, no, a thousand times no," said Ucchan.

I was grinding my teeth and punching my right fist into my left palm repeatedly. How dare he come in here and talk to my Ucchan that way! If I was still a man I would have slugged him.

A New Day

The next morning after breakfast, I stood on a stool at the bathroom sink in our little apartment and washed my face, brushed my teeth and brushed my hair. Then I went to the bedroom and put on my white blouse, blue and white plaid pleated skirt, dark blue socks and black shoes and dark blue blazer. After that, I went to the kitchen where Ucchan was waiting. She got down on her knees and tied a blue and white plaid bow around my neck. Then she hugged and kissed me and said, "Have a wonderful day, honey." I snuggled up close to her with my little arms around her slender waist and let out a long sigh. I love my Ucchan.

When I first moved in with Ucchan, she told everybody she was my cousin, but when everybody believed she was my mother regardless of what she said, she decided to go ahead and be my mother. Somewhere Akane is smirking smugly. Oh yeah, if you're wondering about a certain woman who would want me dead if she knew who I was and won't have anything to do with an illegitimate grandchild… I don't want to talk about her. Let's move on.

I never had girls as friends before. I suppose it was because of my manly pride or something. And, of course, Akane never would have allowed it. Now that I no longer have manly pride (or Akane), I have lots of girls as friends. I missed out on a lot of fun back then. My best friend is Ami. Ami is a tall athletic girl with long hair she keeps it tied up in pigtails with pretty ribbons. The most charming feature on her round face is the cute lopsided grin which matches perfectly with her playful personality. We're in the same class at school and we also practice karate together after school. It was friendship at first sight.

My route to school runs through a picturesque neighborhood filled with shops, houses and apartments. Ami lives in a house about halfway. We walk to school together every morning. That morning, I was telling her about a party Ucchan and Miki were planning for my ninth birthday.

"But I'm really going to be twenty-three," I said.

"Really Rina," said Ami, with an exasperated look on her face, "that is so lame."

"Well… what about what Fumiko said about Yoshiko? Wasn't that lame?"

"Ha, ha, ha, that was lame. Ha, ha, ha…"

"Ha, ha, ha…"

"Are you going to invite them to your party?"

"I'm going to invite everyone in our class."

"Even the boys?"

"Yes."

"Even the pest?"

"Yes," I said, shuddering. "I can't invite everyone without inviting him."

"He'll probably try to kiss you."

"I'll give him a good sock in the jaw if he does."

"I know you will. Ha, ha, ha…"

"Ha, ha, ha…"

We were still discussing the party when we passed by a large brown urn with a dragon carving on it sitting in front of an antique store. When the urn said, "Hey little girl" we stopped and stared at it.

"Are you talking to me?" asked Ami.

"No," said the urn, "I'm talking to Rina."

I walked up to the urn and kicked it.

"You're being awfully familiar," I said. "I must insist you call me Miss Kuonji."

"Do you know this urn?" asked Ami.

"No, but I know the man inside."

"Actually," said the urn, "we've never been formally introduced."

"Pardon the oversight, Mr. Kurenai," I said, with a bow. "I'm Miss Kuonji and this is Miss Nakajima."

"Don't call me Mr. Kurenai. Call me Dad."

"I'll never call you that!"

"Is your dad an urn?" asked Ami.

"No, Ami, my dad is not an urn."

"No," said the urn, "your dad is a bum."

"I wish I had a sledge hammer right now."

"You wouldn't even be able to lift it."

"Lucky for you."

"Is he talking about himself or your real dad?" asked Ami.

"He must be talking about himself because my dad is not a bum."

"Where is your dad?"

"I don't know."

"Rina's dad abandoned her," said the urn.

I rapped on the urn and shouted, "I told you not to call me that!"

"You might as well get used to it. I'm going to be your new dad soon."

"You'll never be my dad!"

"Never say never."

I grabbed Ami's hand and dragged her away. She stumbled along with me for a while then dug in her heals and pulled me to a stop. "What's the matter?" she said, "Why are you angry?"

"If that creep ever gets near my Ucchan I'll scream!"

The Pest

A few minutes later, Ami and I walked through the front gate of the school and saw a boy from our class named Akio Kuno standing in the courtyard. That boy is a Kuno through and through; from the thick mop of hair on his head to his cocky attitude. When I saw him, I stuck my nose in the air and tried to get by without talking to him. He ran up to me and blocked my way.

"Rina, Rina, I've been waiting for you," he said excitedly.

"I'm not talking to you unless..."

"I call you Miss Kuonji. Right, I know that."

"Then why don't…?" I stopped the sentence because it was useless to go on.

"Rina…"

"What did I just say?"

"Miss Kuonji, will you do something for me?"

"No."

"You haven't even heard what I have to say."

I glared at him but it did no good.

"The thing is, Rina, my cousin Tatewaki is coming for a visit and I really want to impress him."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"I want you to tell him you're my girlfriend."

The thought of seeing Tatewaki Kuno again sent chills up and down my spine and I don't mean in a good way.

"Please?" said Akio.

"No way!"

"But it's just pretend."

"I'm not playing your silly games. Come on, Ami, we'd better hurry or we'll be late for class."

We walked quickly through the halls. Akio walked with us because I didn't know how to stop him. All along the way the moron tried to change my mind. I shook my head and sighed.

I'm only eight years old. I shouldn't have to put up with this kind of thing, should I?

Later…

Miki pays me to model; unlike somebody who sold photos of me and never gave me a yen. I know what you're thinking but it's the only way I can make money. Ucchan was kind enough to take me in and support me so I feel the need to help out when I can. It's only right.

That afternoon, after the modeling session was over, Miki took me out to a fast-food place to get some hamburgers. While we were eating, she filled me in on all the latest news from the fashion industry. When I could get a word in I told her about Akio and his crazy request. She sympathized with me.

I was still complaining about Akio after Ucchan and I went to bed that night.

"I know you're annoyed, honey," said Ucchan, "but you can't stop a boy from liking you. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about."

"But I constantly tell him no and try to avoid him and give him the cold shoulder and all of that but nothing stops him. He's just like his hard-headed cousin."

"Try to cope with it the best you can. I sorry. I don't know what else to tell you."

"I just want to be left alone. Is that so hard to understand? And now that stupid Kuno is coming to town. I feel like hiding under the bed."

"Why? What's he going to do?"

"He's in love with me, remember?"

"He's in love with the twenty-two year old you, not the eight year old you. Wow! I can't believe I just said something like that."

"There's only the eight year old me now."

"So don't worry about it. He won't even know it's you."

"Are you sure about that?"

"You would have to grow quite a bit taller, develop some curves and let you hair grow longer and tie it back in a pigtail in order for him to recognize you."

"I sure hope you're right."

"You don't need to worry, honey. Now get some sleep."

We said goodnight and I snuggled up close to her with my eyes closed. She felt so soft and warm and smelled so nice. I fell asleep like a little baby in her arms.

Off the Wall

Ami and I were walking to school the next morning and she was telling me about a karate movie she watched with her family the night before. "Pow! Bam! Pow!" she said, while punching with her arms, kicking with her legs and whipping her pigtails around. "Then he jumped in the air in slow-motion and spun around and sent the other guy flying."

As I opened my mouth to make a comment I heard someone say, "Hey little girl."

I stopped and spun around and looked all around. There were some shops and houses nearby but I didn't see any people.

Where did that voice come from?

"Little girl, over here."

I stopped spinning and stared at a nearby wall.

"That's right, little girl, over here."

Ami said, "Are you talking to me?"

"No," said the wall, "I'm talking to Rina."

"Miss Kuonji to you!" I said, stamping my feet, crossing my arms and glaring at the wall.

"Dads don't have to call their daughters miss."

Ami asked, "Is your dad a wall?"

I yelled at the wall, "You're not my dad!"

"But I will be soon," said the wall.

"Never!"

"That's not necessarily so. I feel my darling Ukyo is relenting."

"Ha… ha… ha…."

"How long have you known this wall?" asked Ami.

"Do you remember that urn we saw yesterday?"

"Is this that same man?"

"Yes."

"Today he's in the wall?"

I knocked on the wall and asked, "Mr. Kurenai, what do you want with my Ucchan?"

"I want to marry her of course," said the wall.

"Why?"

"Because I love her."

"But she doesn't love you."

"She could learn to love me."

"Wouldn't it be easier to find someone who loves you and learn to love them?"

"What would a little girl like you know about it?"

"Come on, Ami, let's go. I feel like I'm talking to a wall."

"Ha, ha, ha, good one," said the wall.

From Out of the Past

I tried to forget about the wall as we were leaving the wall behind and ended up thinking about something else that was bothering me instead. I asked Ami, "What would you do if a boy you didn't like was chasing you?" She thought about it for a minute, then said, "There aren't any boys I don't like." That didn't seem to help me at all but before I could comment she added, as if to herself, "I wonder if any boys will ever chase me?" So I told her I would chase her if I was a boy and she said, "If you were a boy I'd let you catch me" which I thought was an interesting thing for a real eight year old girl to say.

We were still talking about boys when we walked through the front gate of the school and saw Akio and Tatewaki Kuno standing in the courtyard.

"Oh poop," I muttered. "Why did this have to happen?"

"Huh?" said Ami.

"You see those two bozos standing over there?"

"Oh, I see, that must be the cousin he was talking about."

"Yeah, probably. Do you think we can get by without talking to them?"

"No."

"Me either."

We tried to get by them anyway but Akio jumped in front of us.

"Rina, this is my cousin Tatewaki," he said, waving a hand toward his cousin.

"I'm not talking to you unless you address me as Miss Kuonji," I said irritably.

"Miss Kuonji, this is my cousin Tatewaki."

"That's better," I said, then strained my neck looking all the way up at Kuno's face. "Hello sir."

Kuno was staring at me like he had seen a ghost. I mean he stood there looking stupid for almost a whole minute.

"Is your cousin dumb?" I asked.

"No," said Akio, "he's as smart as they come."

"No, I mean, can he talk?"

Some noises began to emanate out of Kuno; something like a motorboat starting, "P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pigtailed girl?!"

"Is he talking to me?" asked Ami.

"You're the only one here with pigtails," I said, with a shrug.

Kuno began to cry. Tears were streaming down his face.

"What's the matter with him?" I asked, jerking my thumb toward him.

"I have no idea," said Akio, shrugging his shoulders.

"My apologies, Miss," said Kuno. "You look just like my dearly departed lover."

Lover?

"Only quite a bit younger and smaller actually," he muttered to himself, then added in a normal voice, "The dear girl passed away on an expedition to China. She was an archaeologist you know."

That's news to me.

"Oh how I miss her. She meant everything to me."

I almost felt sorry for him.

"Sir, are you talking to me?" asked Ami, tugging his sleeve.

"No, my dear," said Kuno, pointing at me. "I'm talking to her."

"But she doesn't have pigtails."

"No, my dear, she has the face of my angel."

He broke down again. It's an odd thing to be cried over by a man I detest. We watched him uneasily and none of us knew what to do or say. His tears soon subsided and he wiped his eyes with a handkerchief.

"Tatewaki, do you like my girlfriend?" asked Akio.

I stamped my feet, clenched my fists and yelled angrily, "I'm not your girlfriend!"

Akio put his hands together like he was praying and whispered, "Please, please, please…"

"No!"

"Akio," said Kuno, patting him on the back, "I think she's very pretty. You've done well."

I stood on my tiptoes and waved my hand in front of Kuno's face. "Mister, Mister, hello, I said I'm not his girlfriend."

"Whatever you say, my dear." He gave Akio a wink.

I stamped my feet and growled, "Come on, Ami, we're going to be late."

We sprinted toward class. Akio yelled, "Wait for me" and ran behind us. We had to stop and walk when a teacher yelled at us and barely made it in time.

My Hero

On our way home from school that day, I was telling Ami how frustrating it was that grownups didn't take little girls seriously. She agreed that it was true. As we rounded a corner, Kodachi Kuno stepped out from behind a tree and blocked our way. I asked her nicely to move and she refused.

"I wanted to see Akio's girlfriend for myself," she said, with a sneer. "Ugh, you're even more hideous than you were in the picture."

What picture?

"I've never seen an uglier girl. What hole did they dig you out of? It's just pathetic. What's wrong with the men in our family? They simply have the worst taste in women."

Ami stepped forward. Her muscles were tense, her fists were balled up, her face was red and steam was rising out of the top of her head. "I don't know who you are," she said, shaking a finger under Kodachi's nose, "but I can't allow you to talk about my best friend that way."

"What are you going to do about it?" asked Kodachi, looking down at her like she was a bug.

"I'm going to beat your sorry ass!"

Kodachi placed the back of her left hand next to her right cheek, threw her head back and laughed, "Aaaaaa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, aaaaaa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, aaaaaa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, aaaaaa…"

That laugh is worse than nails on a chalkboard.

Kodachi suddenly stopped laughing and said, "Don't make me laugh."

It's a little late for that, isn't it?

Ami shouted, "Take back what you said or I'll give you a beating you'll never forget!"

Kodachi glared down at Ami and Ami glared right back. The air was full of tension. I wondered if I was going to have to step in. Before I could, Kodachi said, "I have better things to do than beat up little girls" and ran off, laughing and spreading black rose petals around.

Ami screamed, "Chicken!"

I threw my arms around her. "You were awesome!" I said.

She was trembling and crying and that caught me by surprise.

"Rina," she said, clutching me tightly, "I was so scared, but I just couldn't let that horrible woman talk about you that way."

"Ami, you're a true friend." I wiped her wet face with my little hands.

She gave me a teary smile.

The man inside of me wanted to kiss her tears away but I didn't want to risk our friendship.

Male in the Mail

Ami and I soon forgot about Kodachi and played a game of tag on our way home. As usual, she was hard to catch because her legs are longer than mine. When she was chasing me, I had to hide behind objects near the street in order to avoid her. I got behind a mailbox and Ami chased me around it. Around and around we went until the mailbox said, "Hey little girl."

We stopped and stared at the mailbox and forgot about our game.

"Are you talking to me?" asked Ami.

"Am I ever talking to you?!" yelled the mailbox.

"Hey!" I said, kicking the mailbox. "Don't talk to my friend like that!"

"Pardon me."

"Is this that same man?" asked Ami.

"Yeah, it's Mr. Kurenai."

"Don't call me Mr. Kurenai," said the mailbox. "Call me Dad."

"Mr. Kurenai, I only have one thing to say: Stay away from my Ucchan!"

"Hey, Rina, I was wondering: Why do you call your mother Ucchan?"

I was momentarily thrown off by the question.

"Um… well… What's it to you?"

"It's terribly disrespectful. When I'm your dad I'll put my foot down."

"I think I've had enough of this conversation," I said and ran away.

The mailbox yelled, "You'll learn to respect me too, Rina!"

I ran all the way to Ami's house. Ami must have thought we were racing because she sprinted by me and touched her front door first. I just can't beat her in a race no matter how hard I try. It's so frustrating.

We took a minute to catch our breath, then Ami said, "Rina, I've often wondered why you call your mother Ucchan too."

"It's because I was her boyfriend before I became a girl," I said without thinking.

Anger flashed across her face and she turned her back to me and crossed her arms.

"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid," she said.

"But I was."

"Listen, Rina," she said, turning around and pointing a finger at me, "people think you're weird because you say stuff like that."

"I don't care what people think."

"My mom says you make up stories because your mother doesn't spend enough time with you and you're lonely."

"That's not true. Ucchan spends a lot of time with me and loves me better than anybody's mom."

"Wait. Wait. Don't be angry. My mom likes your mom; she really does. She just says it's hard for a mother to work as much as your mom does and take care of a child. She likes your mom, really. Don't be angry. Okay?"

"Okay. Whatever. Are you ready to get your butt kicked at the dojo?"

"You wish," she said, then added, "I'll see you down there" as she ran inside her house.

I went home wondering what else people were saying about my Ucchan.

Flowers

The next morning, on our way to school, Ami was telling me about a funny anime she watched with her family. There was a boy in it who could change into a girl and he had both boys and girls in love with him. As I listened, I wondered who made a show about my life and put it on TV.

"That show is about a real person," I said, and she said, "Ha, ha, ha. No boy can turn into a girl. That's just silly." So I said, "It's not silly. Boys can turn into girls. And that's not all. I happen to know people who can turn into animals like pigs and cats and pandas and ducks" and she looked at me like I was crazy. "There you go again," she said, rolling her eyes.

We were still discussing the anime when we walked through the front gate of the school and saw Akio and Kuno waiting with flowers in their hands. It reminded me of the first time Kuno told me he loved me. That was the worst day of my life. Well, one of the worst days anyway.

As usual, I grabbed Ami's hand and tried to hurry by without talking to them. And, as usual, it didn't work. They stepped in front of me and offered me the flowers. I refused to accept the flowers so they strewed them along the sidewalk and sang my praises as I tried to get to class. I told Kuno he was too old to be doing this sort of thing but he claimed he was only teaching Akio how to woo a woman. Ami was standing off to the side and giggling. What a big help. Teachers and student came running over to see what was going on and it was causing quite a stir. The principal came out and took me and Akio to his office. Somehow Kuno managed to escape. Ami waited for me outside the office door. "We can't have this sort of thing going on at the school, yadda, yadda, yadda…" said the principal wagging a finger. I was thoroughly embarrassed.

All of my girlfriends were teasing me in class. "Rina and Akio blah, blah, blah." You know how it goes. That is what I was trying so hard to avoid.

Akio tried to make up with me but I refused to speak to him. I suppose I shouldn't have been angry. He only wanted to give me flowers. In a way, it was flattering. I'm not sure how I feel about Kuno though. I really don't buy his story.

Oh Those Men

Ucchan was tired of hearing about all the nonsense with Tsubasa and Kuno so she walked with me to school the next day. She was looking particularly attractive in her light cotton dress and sandals with her long hair flowing down over her shoulders. The men we passed on the street were checking her out as we walked by. She seemed oblivious to all the attention but I noticed and didn't like it at all. You might not believe what I'm saying if you knew Ucchan in her teens but she really blossomed when she reached her twenties; I mean, really blossomed; I mean, really, really… Anyway, many men have asked her out since I arrived but she turned them all down.

So, along the way, Ucchan was telling me how Tsubasa had been trying to get her to change her mind. I asked her if there was any way she would ever change her mind and she said, "I suppose there could be a way" with a strange little grin on her face. I was deeply disturbed by that and asked her what she meant. "Oh, I didn't mean anything, honey. I was just teasing." I was not so sure that she was just teasing and began to worry about losing my exclusive rights to her affection.

When Ami joined us, we talked about school and friends and stuff but that conversation with Ucchan was still nagging at me and I was feeling a touch of anxiety.

As we neared the school, I saw a trashcan on the sidewalk that seemed out of place so I stopped by the can and said, "This is below your usual standards."

"Are you talking to me?" said the can.

"Look, Ucchan, a talking trash can."

"What will they think of next," she said as we walked on by.

"Wait," said the can. "Come back."

We ignored it.

Ami stopped for a second to wave at the can then ran to catch up with us.

When we arrived at the school, Ucchan and I had to stop in the principal's office and talk to the principal. We sat in some chairs in his office and the principal pulled up a chair next to Ucchan. She told him she didn't think I should be in trouble for something a couple of knuckleheads were doing and he assured her that I was not in trouble. Then he started getting just a bit too friendly and flirtatious with Ucchan; smiling like a used car salesman and patting her hand and stuff. I almost blew a gasket. It was an appalling way for a grown man to act and I couldn't get Ucchan out of there fast enough.

After School

That afternoon, after class was over, I ran to Ucchan when I saw her come through the classroom door. She got down on her knees and gave me a hug. I held her tightly. She felt soft and warm and smelled like okonomiyaki. "How was your day, honey," she asked. I told her it was fine. Ami joined us and we left the classroom together.

Akio and Kuno were waiting by the front gate as we were leaving the school grounds. "Who's this?" asked Kuno, and I answered, "This is Ucchan." He offered her his hand. She shook his hand and they exchange greetings.

Ucchan and Kuno talked about Nerima as we were walking home. He was surprised to find out she used to live there. I was getting really annoyed because he was much too close to her and actually touching her while they talked. My eyes were narrowed, my fists were clenched and I was grinding my teeth. Grrrrrrr! Ami startled me with a nudge and said, "What do you think, Rina?"

"About what?"

"We were talking about the sports festival."

"Oh, right, it's going to be awesome. I'm sure our class is going to win with you on our team."

Her whole face was smiling when I said that.

"What about me?" asked Akio.

"Oh, yeah, you too."

He jumped around like he had just won a prize or something. What a weirdo.

We stopped for a minute at Ami's house while she ran inside to get her karate gi. Then, after a short uneventful walk, we arrived at our home. Ucchan went into the restaurant with the guys while Ami and I changed into our karate gies in the apartment. At first it shocked me when girls would change and even get naked in front of me after I told them I was a man. I mean, it's not like I minded or anything, but it took some getting used to.

When Ami and I went to the restaurant, Ucchan had a snack waiting for us. Kuno was surprised to see me in a karate gi.

"You practice martial arts?"

"Karate."

"A dainty little thing like you?"

"You should see my trophies."

"Where can I see them?"

"At the Jin dojo."

Akio and Kuno insisted on coming with us to the dojo. Ucchan couldn't come because she had to work. Master Jin took me aside and said, "Your mother called and asked me to keep an eye on these two." I thanked him. Akio and Kuno watched me workout and applauded when I was finished.

"Rina, Rina," said Akio, "you were awesome!"

"You're skilled beyond your years," said Kuno.

"She's a prodigy," said Master Jin, winking at me.

"Indeed she is."

I was extremely gratified.

Ami gave me a hard punch on the shoulder and grinned that crooked grin of hers with a playful look in her eyes. I chased her around the dojo.

The Return of… Dad?

That evening, I was sitting at the counter in Ucchan's restaurant with Miki, Ami and Ami's mom and dad when the whole Kuno family came into the restaurant and sat at one of the tables. Akio and Kuno waved at me and I pretended I didn't see them. Kodachi gave me a dirty look. Ami tensed up when she saw Kodachi. I tried to distract her by telling some jokes. It sort of worked.

The Kunos ordered their meals and nothing particular happened until Ranma came through the door and shouted, "Hey Ucchan, Rina, I'm back."

When I heard his voice, I looked up from my okonomiyaki and waved. Ranma smiled when he saw me and walked toward the counter. Kuno stood up and blocked his way.

"Saotome," he said, with gritted teeth and clenched fists, "what are you doing here?"

"Oh, hey, Kuno, long time no see," said Ranma.

Kodachi leaped out of her chair, ran over to Ranma and threw her arms around his neck. "Ranma, darling," she said. "Did you come here just to see me?"

"No."

"Oh, ha, ha, ha, you're such a tease." She nuzzled her face up against his.

What a weirdo.

Speaking of weirdos, Tsubasa, who happened to be sitting at another part of the counter, said, loudly and sarcastically, "Well, if it isn't the derelict father?"

"Father?" said Kuno.

"Father?" said Kodachi.

"Didn't you know?" said Tsubasa, jumping out of his seat and strolling over to them. "Ranma is Rina's father."

"It can't be," said Kuno and Kodachi at the same time.

"But it's true. Ranma is Rina's father. Would you like to hear how it happened?"

"Yes," said Kuno.

"No," said Ranma and Kodachi.

Tsubasa cleared his throat and began, "When Ranma and Ukyo were fourteen they…"

Ranma grabbed Tsubasa's blouse and pulled him up on his tiptoes. "I wouldn't go any further if I were you."

"Y-yes sir."

Ami nudged me and asked, "Who is that lady?"

"That's Mr. Kurenai.

"That's Mr. Kurenai?"

I laughed at the funny look on her face.

"When they were fourteen?" asked Kuno.

"Yes, they did it when they were fourteen," squeaked Tsubasa.

"You're really asking for it," said Ranma, tightening his grip on Tsubasa's blouse.

"They did it when they were fourteen?" screamed Kuno.

"Um hmm," said Tsubasa.

"I told you…" said Ranma.

One of the men in the room yelled, "Hey, don't hit that lady!"

"But…"

"Saotome, you're a monster!" screamed Kuno.

"Brother," said Kodachi, stepping in front of Ranma, "don't believe these lies. My Ranma is as pure as the driven snow."

"They're not lies," said Tsubasa.

"Shut up or I'll scratch your eyes out!"

"Eek!"

"Hold on everyone," said Ranma. "You're blowing this way out of proportion." Then he let go of Tsubasa, pushed him toward his seat and told him to sit down and shut up. Tsubasa stumbled a bit then readjusted his blouse and sat down with a frown on his face.

"Saotome," said Kuno, "I should kick your ass."

"Oh really?" said Ranma. "You and what army?"

Ranma brushed by Kuno and sat in the empty chair next to me. Kuno glared at Ranma and grumbled as he went back to his table. Kodachi clung to Ranma, insisted on joining our party and squeezed in next to him somehow.

Ranma and I exchanged greetings. I introduced him to Ami and her family. He said hi to Miki whom he already knew. We talked about the weather for a little while until Kodachi interrupted.

"Ranma?" she said. "Is this little toad really…? No, it can't be true."

"Hey!" yelled Ami, jumping out of her seat. "Don't talk about my best friend that way!"

"What are you going to do about it little girl?"

"I'm going to beat your sorry ass!" screamed Ami.

"Ami?" said Ami's mother.

Kodachi placed the back of her left hand next to her right cheek, threw her head back and laughed, "Aaaaaah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, aaaaaah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, aaaaaah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, aaaaaah…"

Ami's mother took Ami to the restroom for a little talk.

"Kodachi," said Ranma, tapping her on the shoulder.

She stopped laughing and looked at him.

"Kodachi, if you ever want me to speak to you again you'll stop insulting Rina. She's obviously a very pretty girl. Even you can see that."

"Yes she is," said Kuno and Akio from their table.

Kodachi looked over at them and yelled, "Shut up!"

"No!" they shouted back.

"Harumph."

"Kodachi," said Ranma, "are you listening?"

"Well, darling," she said, with a grimace, "I suppose I could be kind to her for your sake."

I looked over at her and smiled. She frowned and turned her head away.

"Kodachi," said Ranma, "why do you hate her? You don't even know her."

"If you must know," said Kodachi, "she looks like that hideous pigtailed girl."

"My precious pigtailed girl was a stunning beauty," said Kuno.

"I told you to shut up!"

"And I told you I won't!"

She stuck her tongue out at him and he did the same to her.

"That's why you hate her?" asked Ranma. "She looks like someone? Kodachi, are you really that petty?"

Yes she is.

"Ranma, darling," said Kodachi, placing a hand on her chest, "you cut me to the quick."

"If I saw someone who looked like your brother should I hate him for it?"

"Don't talk about me over there," grumbled Kuno.

"What kind of woman picks on a little girl?"

Kodachi didn't answer.

Ucchan put some okonomiyaki in front of Ranma and chatted with him for a few minutes before going back to the grill.

"Ranma, darling," said Kodachi, "when we get married, will your… l mean, will she have to live with us?"

"If that ever happens," said Ranma, "and I'm not making any promises, no. She lives with Ucchan."

"And Ucchan is…?"

"That would be me," said Ucchan, turning toward them with a smile and a wave.

"You?! Ranma darling…"

Ranma put up his hand. "Don't say it."

Kodachi sagged noticeably. "As you wish, my darling."

She crossed the line when she insulted my Ucchan. I mean, I really wanted to slap her silly. And I could have if I wasn't so small. Sure, I can fight and beat other eight year old girls but a full grown woman would be impossible. How can I defend Ucchan's honor like this? What am I supposed to do? Bite her ankles or something? Life can be so frustrating.

Over the Edge

Late that night, after we came home from the bathhouse and put on our pajamas, Ucchan and I sat next to each other on some cushions in the living room. I asked her to leave the TV off because I had something on my mind.

"What's wrong, honey?"

"It's about your reputation."

"Oh?"

"People are saying you did… you know, but you've never done… you know, and it's just not right, you know?"

"Rina, honey, I hate to burst your bubble but I'm not a virgin. I mean, I don't sleep around or anything but I have done it."

"You have?"

"Uh huh."

"You have?!"

She burst my bubble alright. Something popped inside my head and I lost my mind. My insides began to boil and I went off on her. I screamed, "How dare you! You're mine! You belong to me! Nobody else can touch you!" while I grabbed her roughly by her pajamas and wadded them up until my fingers hurt. Then I buried my burning face in her chest and drenched her pajama top with my hot tears. "You're mine," I cried. "You've always been mine. Mine, mine, mine…"

She held me until I calmed down and came to my senses.

"Rina, honey, are you finished?" she said softly.

"Um hum," I whimpered.

"I dated a man after I'd given up on you. I knew you didn't want me so I looked for someone else. Can you really blame me? He seemed like a nice guy and I thought I loved him. He said he loved me too but he lied. He dumped me right after he got what he wanted."

I sat up and looked into her big, beautiful and, at that moment, sad eyes and felt like a fool. The thought of my Ucchan in the hands of a callous man who simply used her and tossed her away stabbed my heart and cut me deep inside.

She caressed my wet face with her soft hands. "I love your passion for me," she said. "You didn't have that kind of passion before you went to China." She leaned over, put a finger under my chin and softly touched her lips to mine. "These are a mother's kisses for a little girl I adore."

I accepted her tender kisses and wept.

Oh how I wish I was still a man and these were more than a mother's kisses.

A Talk with My Former Self

Ranma met me outside of our apartment the next morning. He was wearing dark blue sweatpants, white sneakers and a sleeveless shirt that showed off his bulging biceps. I mean, he was totally bulked up. I was really quite proud of him.

"I thought I would walk you to school this morning," he said, taking my hand.

"Okay," I said.

We walked together for a while without saying anything. Then I asked, "Do you like staying with Master Jin?"

"Oh yes," he said. "Master Jin is a very interesting man."

"Yes he is. How long are you going to stay?"

"I'll stay until the Kunos leave."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"So you like me now?"

"It's not that I didn't like you. I was just angry because I got the short end of the stick."

"Do you still think you got the short end of the stick?"

"Well… maybe not so much as before," I admitted grudgingly.

"You're such a little cutie. I bet all the boys are crazy about you."

"As if I wanted that," I muttered.

"You might change your mind someday."

"Not likely."

"I'm crazy about you."

"Huh?"

"I mean," he chuckled, "I'm crazy about my daughter."

"But I'm not really your daughter. We're just pretending."

"Are we?"

"What do you mean?"

"Weren't you born in that spring?"

"Born in the spring? What a crazy idea."

"It's not so crazy when you think about it."

"But we have all the same memories, don't we?"

"It could be my memories were implanted in you when you were born in that spring."

"I'm sure you would like it if that were so."

"You're not me anymore, Rina. Why don't you just be yourself?"

"Easy for you to say. You're a big strong man."

"Is it really that bad being an adorable little girl?"

"Would you trade places with me?"

"Well… no."

"I didn't think so."

I released his hand, crossed my arms and pouted. I didn't like where the conversation was going at all. I didn't want to be completely stripped of my true identity. Even though I knew I had no chance of going back to who I used to be, there was still a part of me that refused to let go.

But that's not all that was on my mind. Tsubasa and all those men after my Ucchan were still bothering me and I wanted to find a way to keep them away from her. But how? An idea struck me and I asked Ranma, "Why don't you marry Ucchan?"

"Marry Ucchan?" he said. "Where did that come from?"

"Just answer the question."

"Rina, I don't love Ucchan."

"Why not?"

"I just don't, that's all."

"But I love her. Why don't you?"

"Of course you love her. It's as plain as that little nose on your face. Can't you see how different we are now?"

"Stick to the subject, okay?"

"Okay, have it your way. I don't love Ucchan and she doesn't love me; no marriage can work that way. Don't worry, Rina, she'll meet a man and fall in love when the time is right."

"But none of the creeps around here are worthy of her. You're the only one I approve of."

"I am truly honored, my lady," he said, with a laugh. Then he grabbed me suddenly and hoisted me up onto his shoulders.

"Wait, wait, my skirt."

He lifted me up so I could adjust my skirt then plopped me down straddling his neck. Then he bounced me around down the street like I was riding a horse. We giggled and laughed. I mean, I giggled and he laughed.

Ami smiled when she saw me on Ranma's shoulders.

"My dad used to do that with me," she said.

"Used to?" I said.

"My dad is not as strong as your dad and I'm not as little as you are."

"I bet my dad could lift you."

"You think so?"

Ranma lifted me off of his shoulders and placed me gently on the ground. Then he grabbed Ami and hoisted her quickly up onto his shoulders and bounced her around. Ami smiled and giggled and I did too. I never knew Ranma could be so much fun.

Man vs Machine

The horseplay was over and the three of us were walking calmly together down the street. Ranma was telling us about his recent adventures. I really didn't want to hear about his adventures because they were supposed to be my adventures. Yes, I know I'm not reasonable.

As he was telling us a particularly interesting story, we passed by a row of vending machines. One of the vending machines said, "Oh how cute! Father and daughter are holding hands."

Ranma let go of my hand, walked over to the machine and pounded on it. Tsubasa fell out of the back of the machine holding his hands over his ears and yelling, "What are you doing that for?"

Ranma shouted, "Stop stalking Rina or I'm going to beat your scrawny ass!"

"I'm not stalking Rina. I'm just sitting here minding my own business."

"Tsk, tsk, I knew you were a pervert but I didn't know you were that kind of pervert."

"I'm not that kind of pervert. I don't want Rina. I want Ukyo."

"Then why don't you go talk to her? Why don't you go find out what kind of man she's looking for? Maybe she's not looking for a cross-dressing fool!"

We moved on, leaving the cross-dressing fool staring at us with his mouth open.

Some Kind of Crazy

That afternoon, after classes were over, Ami and I walked quietly through the halls then broke into a run when we got outside. Ranma was waiting for us by the gate. Ami tagged him first and I was mad. Ranma picked me up, tapped his finger on my little nose and said, "Why the pouty face?"

"I can never beat Ami in a race," I said. "Her legs are too long."

"I'm sure you beat her in some things."

"She beats me in lots of things," said Ami.

"See?"

I slid out of his arms and said, "You're right, of course. I was only mad for a second."

We told Ranma all about our day as we walked toward home. He acted like he was interested. Akio met us along the way. He bowed low and showed Ranma much respect.

"Mr. Kuonji," he said, "I want to marry your daughter. Please give me your consent."

Is this boy a lunatic or what?

Ami was giggling, Ranma was chuckling and Akio was standing there with an anxious look on his face.

"Son," said Ranma, "you kids are only eight. Come back in ten years and we'll talk it over."

Akio smiled. I'm sure he thought the marriage was as good as done. He bowed again, thanked Ranma, gave me a wink and a thumbs up and ran off.

Ranma nudged me and said, "It looks like I'll be walking you down the aisle someday, kiddo."

"Don't count on it," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I want to be a part of your wedding someday," said Ami.

"Ami, if there ever is a wedding, you'll play the most important part."

She smiled her cute little crooked smile and giggled. I didn't tell her I was talking about her wedding. Why spoil a young girl's dreams.

An Old Grudge

"See you later at the dojo," I said to Ami as she went into her house. She smiled and waved as she closed the door. I ran back to Ranma and he told me I had a really nice friend. "Yeah she is," I said, "She's the best." I took hold of his hand and we set off again. A little ways down the street we came upon the whole Kuno family. They looked like they were waiting for us. Kuno was holding a sword in his hand.

"What's this all about?" asked Ranma.

Kodachi ran swiftly over to Ranma, threw her arms around his neck and said lovingly, "Ranma darling, you just can't stay away from me, can you?"

"Oh, hello, Kodachi."

She stuck her tongue out at me while she was hugging him.

"Saotome," said Kuno, "now that I know she's your daughter, I can't allow her to marry Akio and join the Kuno family."

"Kuno," said Ranma, "I'm not too thrilled about her joining the Kuno family either."

"What? She would be lucky to join the Kuno family."

"As if!"

"Brother," said Kodachi, "she'll be a part of the family when Ranma and I get married."

"Do you really think I'm going to allow that?" screamed Kuno.

"How are you going to stop it?"

"Oh, I'll stop it alright!"

That started a big argument which lasted until Akio said, "But Tatewaki, I love Rina."

"Fine, fine," said Kuno, waving his arms dismissively, "but there's something I just have to do."

"You're not going to hurt her, are you?"

"Don't worry. No harm will come to the sweet little thing. I'm just going to give her father a good thrashing."

"Dad, can't you stop him?"

Akio's dad stepped forward and said pompously. I mean, it sounded pompous to me. "While I agree this would be an unsuitable match…"

Hey! Why is it unsuitable?

"…I don't understand why you must beat up her father, Tatewaki."

"It's a very old grudge," said Kuno, brandishing his sword. "A very old grudge."

Kodachi jumped in front of Ranma with her arms outstretched and screamed, "Don't you dare lay a hand on my darling Ranma!"

"Kodachi," said Ranma, gently taking her by the hand and leading her off to the side, "let me fight my own battles, please."

"As you wish, my darling." She lowered her eyes and bowed meekly.

"You too, Rina. Move out of the way."

I nodded my head and moved to a spot under some trees. People from the shops and kids from the school were running over to see what was going on. A large crowd was gathering in the street. They sensed something exciting coming and I did too.

"Kuno," said Ranma, with an exaggerated bow, "your serve."

"Saotome," said Kuno, "you make light of this but it's no laughing matter." When he spoke his voice was full of emotion. "I get so angry when I think about how you took advantage of an innocent young girl just to satisfy your unbridled lust. And I can't bear to think about the horrible things you must have done to my precious pigtailed girl. You are a lout and a cad and a reprobate and… and… I can't even think of enough bad names. Prepare yourself. I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget."

"Kuno," said Ranma, with a mischievous grin, "I was one with your precious pigtailed girl… and she loved it."

Oh Ranma, really?

Kuno's head exploded.

Kodachi gasped.

Ranma threw his head back and laughed, "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…"

Kuno let loose with a blood-curdling scream and charged toward Ranma with his sword upraised. He swung wildly and Ranma evaded. The battle had begun. The crowd was getting into it and cheering. I was shadow-boxing along with Ranma; punching and kicking with my little arms and legs. "Oooo, what a punch. Wow, what a kick. Oh my, I've never seen that move before. Come on, Ranma, you've got him on the ropes!"

In the middle of it all, Akio sidled over to me and tapped me on the shoulder. I stopped what I was doing and looked at him.

"Rina, do you want to go get a milkshake?"

"Okay."

We wove our way through the crowd and headed to the ice cream shop. I heard police whistles behind me.

A Changed Man

Later that night, Ucchan, Miki and I were eating dinner at a local café. Ucchan was complaining about having to spend part of her day off bailing Ranma out of jail. "Ranma and Kuno were arrested for disorderly conduct," she said. "I guess they're stricter here than they were in Nerima." Then she pointed at me and laughed. "And you were out on a date when all that was going on."

"Ucchaaaaaan, it wasn't a date!" I whined.

"I thought it was so cute when I saw you two together in the ice cream shop," said Miki, with her hands clasped together and a big grin on her face. I can still see her staring at us with her nose pressed up against the glass. She can be so embarrassing sometimes.

As we were talking, a young man walked into the café and stood by our table. He was tall and thin, his hair was short and handsomely styled, and he was wearing dress slacks with a dress shirt and a plain blue tie. He fidgeted and bit his lip before he spoke.

"Ukyo… um… do you think you could like me if… if I wasn't a cross-dressing fool?"

Ucchan stood up and faced him.

"You know," she said, adjusting his tie, "I think I could."

Tsubasa furrowed his brow and stared at Ucchan for a brief moment.

"Is that all it took?" he said. "I just had to cut my hair and dress like a man?"

"Yep," said Ucchan.

"Why didn't I think of that before?"

"Don't know."

"So… you'll go out with me?"

"Yep."

"Tonight?"

"Why don't you join us?" She pointed at the empty seat next to hers.

The smile on his face as he took a seat could have lit up the sky.

Miki and Ucchan seemed happy about it but I wasn't. My arms were crossed and I was pouting.

Thanks a lot Ranma!

A Beautiful Day

Ucchan and Miki threw a birthday party for me. They rented a hall and decorated it with ribbons, bows and balloons and filled up several tables with food and sweets. They even hired a clown. My teacher and all of the kids in my class were invited. All of them came. Ranma and Tsubasa were there looking manly. I mean, Ranma was manly and Tsubasa was trying to be. Kuno and Kodachi came with Akio. I didn't want them there. They were gate-crashers as far as I was concerned. But Ranma and Ucchan seemed okay with it so I let it pass. Kodachi said she didn't want to miss a party for her soon-to-be step-daughter and was actually trying to be nice to me. She even apologized to Ami. And Ami, being a sweet girl, accepted her apology graciously. But I still don't trust Kodachi. I know she'll be a wicked step-mother if Ranma is ever foolish enough to marry her.

Kuno, sporting a black eye and various injuries, wanted to give me a birthday kiss. I reluctantly offered my cheek and he gave me a bear-hug and planted a yucky wet one on my face. Akio was so jealous he grabbed me and slobbered all over the other side of my face. I ran crying to Ucchan for comfort and refuge. Ranma gave the Kuno boys a stern lecture about taking liberties with his daughter. What a nice dad.

When we finished eating, Ucchan put a cake with nine candles in front of me. I made a wish and blew out the candles and everybody cheered. After cake, we played party games with the clown. I was the first one out during musical chairs. Ami offered me her spot but I told her to win for the both of us. She didn't win. After the games, I opened up a pile of gifts and thanked everybody as I did. I got quite a lot of really nice stuff. It was the best birthday party I've ever had.

After the party, I went to Ami's house to play because Ucchan and Miki wouldn't let me help them clean up. Ami and I practiced karate in her back yard but it turned into a wrestling match. She always resorts to brute strength when she's losing. It's a good thing I changed my clothes before I went over there.

Later that night, after a much needed bath, Miki took me and Ucchan out to a fancy restaurant. She insisted that we wear little black dresses and get all dolled up. Ucchan and Miki looked awesome. Tsubasa wanted to come along but was told it was girls only. I was hoping he would revert back to his old ways and try to come with us but he didn't. Why did I want him to revert back? Because I didn't want Ucchan to like him, that's why. Yeah, I know what I am.

The wait-staff at the restaurant made a fuss over me. The head-waiter professed his undying love. I know they were just having fun with a little girl but I do like the attention. The food was delicious. We had steak and potatoes and fancy vegetables. Ucchan and Miki ordered wine and gave me a little taste. Technically, I'm old enough to drink wine but there's no way anyone would ever serve it to me. After dinner, the entire wait-staff brought out a small cake with nine candles, sang 'Happy birthday' and the whole restaurant joined in. I mean, it sounded like the whole restaurant. I made a silent wish that I could be with Ucchan forever then blew out the candles. Everybody cheered. It was the best birthday ever.

I fell asleep with my head on Ucchan's lap during the taxi ride home.

My Decision

The sun was shining through the bedroom window when I opened my eyes and dragged myself drowsily out of bed. Ucchan was sitting at the table in the living room drinking a cup of coffee. I plopped down on a cushion next to her and gazed up at her pretty face. She met my gaze with a smile.

"I love you Mom," I said.

Her eyebrows shot up. "Mom?"

"I want to call you Mom now. Is that okay?"

"Nothing would make me happier."

She gathered me into her arms.

There's no place I'd rather be.

-The End-