FAGE 007
Title: Safe
Written for: Dolphin62598
Written By: JessyAnne
Rating: T
Summary/Prompt used: pic dot twitter dot com/d4X0kK8jLB and pic dot twitter dot com/60DE1yLTtH
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"I feel so vulnerable, but you make me feel safe," I told him as he held me in his arms. "You have no clue how scared I am every day, but with you, I'm able to let my hair down and not be afraid."
Edward and I sat in the tub after an especially trying day. He was a handsome man with copper/brown hair, the brightest emerald eyes a person could ask for, and a beautiful body that was littered with tattoos, but the best part of him, even above his eye-pleasing aesthetics, was the heart of gold beating in his chest. "Babe, I'll always be here. I know you went through some things with your ex, but I won't let that happen to you again." He held me closer as I shuddered, remembering the not-so-distant past.
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I knew I was in deep trouble when Jake shouted, "Bella, get out here. Now!"
What had I been thinking? I knew I wouldn't get away with buying something I didn't need. I know his rules and I broke them, spending money on something that wasn't essential. I should have known better. "Coming! I just want to finish the kitchen real quick." I called back, hoping against hope that making sure the house was spotless would lessen his ire.
"Now! Right fucking now!" He was furious and, by the sound of it, drunk. I was in so much trouble.
This was nothing new for us; the smallest infraction would result in a black eye or a bruise on the arm. He'll apologize tomorrow morning, of course, but still manage to place the blame for my injuries squarely on me. He'll say that if I would just listen to him and not make him angry then he wouldn't have to correct my behavior. Nevertheless, I love him and know I won't ever be able to find someone who loves me like Jacob does.
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Chills ran down my spine and Edward held me tighter. I hoped he couldn't see the ghost of my past flash through my head. Jacob had been a nice guy in the beginning and I don't even remember when he started getting bad, but once he had, our relationship had been a steady, gradual progression into hell.
I was so lucky to be protected. Edward had come in and saved me. Jacob hurt me, but, at the time, it had felt like true love. Now I see that was not the case. With Edward, I don't know if it's love – after all, who could love me – but it feels more like love than it did with Jacob.
"Bella?" Edward tried breaking through to me to get me out of my head.
"I'm sorry, Edward, I just completely spaced." It was a lie, of course, but he tries so hard to keep me from that place, and I don't want him to feel like he's failed. He does so much for me.
"Sweetie, you're fine. I just want to make sure you're taken care of. You're an angel and deserve only the greatest out of life. I want to give it to you."
"I'm so happy with you. You came into my life when I didn't even know I needed you. You helped me to see the reality of what was going on. I will never be able to tell you how much I appreciate everything you do for me."
I really don't know what I can do to show him what it means to me that he tries every day to show me how safe I am now that I don't have my ex looking over my shoulder every night, every hour, every minute. I didn't even remember what it meant to be free when I was with Jacob.
"As long as you're happy, baby girl, then I will always do it. Your smile could light up an entire house. I know that you think you need me, but baby, I need you. I need your chocolate eyes to melt, your smile to shine like a star in the night sky. You have no clue how thankful I am every day that you let me in."
He looks so sincere, like I'm actually something worth the trouble. I never knew that I could feel this good about myself. I am so lucky. "Lay down, hon." I wanted to give him a massage to pay him back for everything he's done for me.
"Baby, you don't need to do that." He seemed reluctant to lie down. Little does he know that I really want to do this for him.
"Please? Just let me take care of you for a little bit."
"Okay, baby girl, anything you want."
I started at his neck and shoulders, using just enough pressure to feel good, but not so much that I would hurt him. The massage oils relaxed both of us even more than our earlier bath had. I worked my way down each of his arms, relishing the feel of his skin beneath my fingers. "You really deserve to be pampered, honey. I always want you to know exactly how much I appreciate you."
"You don't need to do anything for me to know that."
I kissed his neck as I got out of bed. He stopped me then pulled me into the safest place I've ever been – his arms. I snuggled close and said quietly, "I like making you feel good. I love knowing that I can do this for you. There are tons of women out there who would kill to be in my position. Even if they were being paid and you were not paying a single bit of attention to them. Just to touch you would make any woman very happy, but here I am with you taking care of me. You're always making me feel like the safest person on this planet with every move you make. I have to be the luckiest woman in the world."
"I don't want them. I'm not one to tolerate fakeness. I like the honesty in your eyes, and the fact that you are, by far, the most beautiful person I've ever laid eyes on is just a bonus," he said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Thanks for being so sweet, as you always are. That's just one of the reasons I'm falling for you." Shit! I don't even know if anyone can love me and here I am telling him that – where my heart is heading. That'll have him running for the hills for sure.
"Isabella, I can't believe that you could possibly be falling for me. After everything you've been through, I didn't think this day would be here for a long time. I've been falling for you since the day I saw you at the diner. You were trying to hide your face in your hair, and at first, I thought you were just shy, but then I saw the bruise on your cheek that you were trying to cover. I was instantly filled with a rage I hadn't ever thought possible. I just wanted to protect you, make you so happy that you would know without a fraction of a doubt that no one should or ever will lay a finger on your flawless being. Something changed in me that day."
I felt my eyes welling up as he finished and I wished I could be worthy of his love and the kind words formed by his perfect lips. "Thank you. I do not know how I got lucky enough to meet you, let alone have you feel this way for me. Just… thank you."
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It has been over a year since the day I admitted I was falling, and I have yet to reach the bottom. It feels more like flying than falling, though. There is no pain in soaring through the sky, and there is no pain in being with Edward. We are just as happy now as we were then, maybe more so.
Since then, I have started seeing my worth and beauty. There are days when things do not go quite as smoothly, but there are not nearly as many bad days as there were. Then again, there are days when my past all seems like it was just a horrible nightmare, as if nothing could have possibly been as bad as the flashes of horror that I had to deal with.
I've gone back to school to pursue a career making other people aware that they do not have to let a significant other make them feel like Jake made me feel. I want to make a difference.
The journey is far from over, and I know there will be bumps in the road, but I have a life worth living now. I know that it's only a matter of time before Edward and I have children, a house, and all that American dream stuff, but, for now, we're focused on making the best life together that we can. There is not a day that passes that I don't realize how lucky I am to have been found by such a sweet man.