Tara's hands are still shaking as she clutches the steering wheel. The image of the dried up whore riding her husband's dick is burned into her memory and no matter how much distance she puts between them, it will never be enough to wipe that memory away.

She thinks of nothing but the morbid satisfaction she had felt at finally having somebody to take her anger out on. The feeling of her knuckles splitting open as they connected with the whore's soft skin as the possessive anger burned through her veins. It was an old friend that she had embraced with welcoming arms. It had been a regular feeling back when she was nineteen and in love with the bad ass biker who looked at no other girl but her, but that hadn't stopped the jealous girls going after her man anyway. That burning anger had been a constant in her life in her cat fighting days, something she had thought had been deeply buried the moment she left Charming. But just one look at Jackson Teller had brought back the possessiveness she had spent ten years burying. It didn't matter that they hadn't laid eyes on one another in a decade, he was hers and she was his, always and forever.

But once the anger dimmed, the pain pushed through.

She had never felt so much pain as when she found him with Ima. This was so much worse. To actually see him with another woman was a torture she had never been prepared for. There were no excuses to be made this time, it wasn't to protect her or to push her away. He fucked that whore to hurt her, to punish her. But she could have handled that. Understood it, even. She had hurt him, and he had wanted to hurt her the only way he knew how.

No, what broke her heart was the look on Jax's face before the shock of seeing her standing there in the doorway set in. He had looked at the blonde with such desire, with a fierce longing that had been absent from his eyes for weeks. What hurt her beyond comprehension was that he did it because he wanted to. Because no matter how much she wanted to get out of Charming with her boys, leaving Jax was not something she wanted to do. She loved him, more than her own life but not more than her sons. She would have readily followed him down the path to hell, but her innocent boys made her see what he couldn't. Charming was poisonous, and if they didn't get out now, then her sons would be stuck here to repeat history all over again.

She would rather rip out her own heart before she let that happen.

The tears spring to Tara's eyes and though she keeps them shut, a couple of tears manage to escape anyway. She pushes them away impatiently and tries to think of anything other than Jackson Teller. But it's no use. If she tossed back a bottle of vodka, the image would still come to her and it will forever remain in her mind.

She knows what she should do. She should crawl on her hands and knees and beg Patterson to make a new deal to keep her boys safe. But no matter how many times she talks herself into finally doing it, she just can't bring herself to commit that final act of betrayal.

Suck it up, you stupid bitch. Your boys need you.

It doesn't matter how much time or distance she puts between them. Jackson Teller was hers, and nothing would ever be able to change that.

And it's with that thought that she turns her car around and heads back to Charming.

The image of Clay Morrow's bullet ridden body is something she can't get out of her head. The man who had caused them all such pain, prevented Jax from leaving the club, destroyed her career, tried to have her killed, was finally out of there lives. She escapes to the bedroom to clean herself up after Bobby is stable, but in truth she wanted to get away from Jax's brothers crowded into one room.

She hears him enter the bedroom but she can't bring herself to look at him. This man just killed his step-father for many reasons, but she is sure that one of those reasons was because of her and she loves him for it.

God, what has happened to her?

She feels his eyes burning holes into the back of her skull. It's the first time they've been alone since she found him in bed with another woman and proceeded to pull a gun on him. Not knowing what to say, she continues looking down.

"I made a deal with Patterson. I gave her the Irish, and she's gonna stop looking into the club. All charges against you have been dropped. You're not going to jail, Tara."

Tara turns in shock. He's staring at her intently and she can't help but notice how worn out he looks.

"I understand. Why you did everything. I'm sorry that being with me took you to that place."

She remains silent because what is she supposed to say? Thank you seems pretty inadequate right now. But then he's turning to leave and she can't leave it like this. She's throwing herself in his arms before she can stop herself and holding onto him with everything inside of her. They are so fucked up right now and in truth she doesn't think that they will ever get back to how they were, doesn't even know if she wants them to. But no matter what, he's given her back her future with her boys, and she will never be able to repay him for that.

She doesn't want to let go, and when his arms tighten around her she has the feeling that he doesn't want to either. In this moment, it's just them, Jax and Tara. They aren't the biker and the doctor, they aren't mommy and daddy.

Just for that moment, he is the man she has been in love with for half of her life.

But then he's pulling away from her and saying, "I'll drive you home," and the moment is over, and they are back to reality where painful silences and distrustful looks are the highs of their relationship.