A Gift for the Lord Marshal
"Well, we'll take it as a sign… a good omen." Thorin said sharing a smile with the hobbit, before returning his gaze to a single peak far to the north-east, the light of dawn breaking and bathing the peak in cream, blue and pink.
"You're right. I do believe the worst is behind us." The hobbit replied.
"Not just yet, I'm afraid." Gandalf disagreed. "We are being hunted. Azog and his spawn, Bolg."
"Azog? Azog?! You never said anything about Azog." Bilbo said.
"I wasn't expecting him." Gandalf sighed.
"Well? What do you plan we do about it?" Bilbo asked.
"We will kill him, Master Baggins." Thorin said confidently.
"No, Thorin, you won't." Gandalf said. "He is beyond our capabilities. We need assistance."
"Beyond our capabilities? You think this? Really?" Thorin was startled.
"Yes, Thorin, really. Azog the Defiler is not a being you can kill." He paused. "There is a chance… I may know of someone that can."
"And how is that going to help us now, wizard? We are here, now and your friend is not." Thorin grumbled.
"He is no friend of mine and I, no friend of his… but for the chance to kill Azog? I think he will hear me. And distance is no barrier to him."
"You said, Azog and his spawn Bolg. Can this person kill them both?" Dwalin asked.
"Unlikely, but he would not come alone, anyway. He never travels alone." Gandalf replied.
Bilbo began to wonder. Who was this person Gandalf spoke of? Could it be?
"You said he will hear you. How? How can he hear you, you are here and he is not?" Fíli asked.
"I have the means to contact him."
"Then do so, Gandalf. If Azog hunts us he will not stop." Thorin directed.
The wizard pulled a small black book-shaped box from his satchel and pressed a series of buttons on the flat cover. The box hummed and emitted a low buzzing sound.
"Is that…?" Bilbo never got a chance to finish his question.
The box make a chirp and light flickered, forming an image. As the image sharpened, it appeared to be a room, large and open, everything black and grey. A large throne sat in the middle, bracketed by twisting columns, elaborate arches forming the rear of the seat. A tall black haired Man stood in front of one of the columns, he wore black armour and was very pale, the sides of his head shaved, accentuating his height.
"Mithrandir. Why have you called?" The man's voice was cold and hard, a strong voice, it demanded attention. "You would do well to remember what the Lord Marshal said, when last you spoke." There was no sneer in his voice, but it was very clear that this man had little respect for the wizard.
At the sound of the man's voice, Bilbo startled and pushed his way past Thorin.
"Ah, Lord Vaako. I need-"
"Your needs mean little."
Bilbo grabbed the box from Gandalf's hand, he ducked and twisted away from the wizard that reached for him.
"First Among Commanders." The hobbit said.
"Hobbit?" The man, Vaako Gandalf called him, asked, startled.
"Indeed." Bilbo confirmed.
"Why are you with Mithrandir?"
"I'm consulting on something for someone. Not why we called."
"Why did you call, then, hobbit?"
"I have a gift for the Lord Marshal, of course."
"A gift?"
"A gift, Commander."
"Hmm… the Lord Marshal is in the arena, is it worth my interrupting him, hobbit?"
"Oh, indeed, Commander, most definitely worth it."
The man nodded, before turning and beginning to walk away.
"Stay online, we'll call you back, hobbit." The image flickered and was gone.
"What in Mordor was that?!" Thorin growled.
"Bilbo? I wasn't aware you knew Lord Vaako." Gandalf said.
"I could say the same, Gandalf." There was a coldness to Bilbo's voice that made Gandalf straighten and take a step back.
"Should I ask?"
"No, Gandalf, you should not." The hobbit turned from the wizard to Thorin. "That was a long range holographic communication." Bilbo began.
"No, not that. The man. He was not like any man I have ever seen, what was he?" Thorin asked.
"That was Lord Siberius Vaako, First Among Commanders." Bilbo said.
"And he's the one Gandalf was talking about?" Kíli asked.
"I doubt it, more likely Gandalf meant Riddick, the Lord Marshal. But no one speaks to Riddick without going through Vaako. So…"
"How long? Before they call back, I mean." Kíli was curious.
"No idea, Kíli. Depends entirely on how curious the Lord Marshal is. Could be five minutes, could be five hours. But I'm not moving until they do, so get comfortable, lads."
For the next hour or so the dwarrow sorted through the few weapons and supplies they had left, they each had their primary weapon and a few hidden blades, but little in the way of anything else.
Finally there was a chirp from the communication box. The image was basically the same, only this time there was a second man, he sat on the throne, negligently sprawled out, Vaako at his side. He was muscular and deeply tanned, wore a black undershirt and vambraces that matched those of Vaako. Interestingly he also wore a pair of eye coverings, they rested above his eyebrows and contrasted dramatically with his shaven skull.
"Hobbit?" The man to Vaako. "Vaako? Is that the hobbit? Why are we talking to the hobbit?"
"He says, he has a gift for you, Lord Marshal." Vaako's voice was still strong, but no longer cold or hard, now it was amused and almost seductive.
"A gift. For me." The Lord Marshal stated, his voice was a low rumble.
"Of course, Lord Marshal." Bilbo said. "But if you don't want it…"
"I never said that, hobbit." The Lord Marshal replied. "What is it?"
"Azog."
Both men blinked. Vaako turned to the Lord Marshal.
"Did he say… Azog?" Vaako asked.
"He did." The Lord Marshal never took his eyes off Bilbo.
"I did." Bilbo confirmed.
"Where are you? Vaako, where did we dump the hobbit, this time?"
"The Erú system, Sector 4." Vaako supplied.
"Arda." Bilbo adds.
"Where… exactly… are you?" The Lord Marshal wants to know.
"Head up to that fancy map table of yours and I'll show you." Bilbo suggests.
The image moves then, it stays with the two men, in front of them as they walked, a flight of stairs and a doorway were passed, the men stopped in a smaller room, a table with what looked like black water in the middle of the room. With a few touches, shapes rose from the surface of the table, spheres rose and fell, until only one remained.
"Eastern continent." The sphere enlarged until a mass could be seen on it. "Mountain range." The sphere broke and more detail was visible. "River to the East." The sphere piece changed again and the details were clearer.
"Tracking." Said Vaako. A beep was heard. "Located." The image showed the sphere piece light up with a point blinking steadily.
"Where do I find Azog, hobbit?" The Lord Marshall was once again sprawled over a seat of some sort.
Bilbo reached out and grabbing Thorin, he dragged the dwarf closer and beckoned Fíli and Kíli to join them.
"This is Thorin, he hired me and Azog is hunting him and his nephews. Stay with us and Azog will come to you, Lord Marshal." Bilbo smiled gently.
"Him? Why would Azog hunt him?" Vaako all but purred as Riddick stood and moved to his side.
"Very simple, Vaako. He and his nephews are the last of the Line of Durin."
The dark haired man's eyebrows rose and even the Lord Marshal eyes widened.
"Durin's, huh?"
"Durin's." Bilbo agreed.
"Hmm… Vaako? How long with it take the Armada to get there?"
"The Armada, my Lord Marshal?" Vaako asked. "Why not just a troopship or the Basilica?"
"Oh, no, Vaako." The Lord Marshal's voice lost the rumble and became harder and colder than even Vaako's had been, when he'd been talking to Gandalf. "Azog doesn't deserve that sort of respect, Vaako. They call me an animal, a beast, but I don't target those that can't fight back. Azog specialises in those sort of targets. I don't intend to challenge him, I intend to put him down… just like the animal he is. This 'verse is better off without him. It's time he died… before his due time."
"Absolute loyalty, obedience without question, until Underverse come." Vaako said, the words sounding like a ritual, a promise.
"Yes, yes. Absolute loyalty, obedience without question… but how long will take you to get here, Lord Marshal?" Thorin wondered if Bilbo realised what he'd just said, even Kíli was snickering at the hobbit's choice of words.
The Lord Marshal didn't answer, but he did look up at Vaako and raise an eyebrow. It took Vaako a few seconds to press on a flat surface and touch lights.
"Sector 4 of the Erú system is adjacent to the Hades system, sector 7, where we are now, so… It should take nine hours. Unless, of course, you decide to wait and watch the World Burners end Hades?"
"No need. Get us moving. Hobbit? Can you stay where you are for nine hours or will you have to move?" The Lord Marshal questioned.
"Zoom in a bit further with your map, Lord Marshal and you'll see, we're safer up here than we are on the ground. We'll stay here… but you'll need a transport to get us off of here."
"Fair enough. How many of you are there, hobbit? Including you and the Durin's?" Vaako paused in his movements to ask. "How big a transport will we need?"
"Well, including the Durin's, there's thirteen dwarrow, myself and… Mithrandir."
"Mithrandir? What's the storm-crow up to now? Why are you with him?" The Lord Marshal growled.
"Thorin hired me as a burglar." Bilbo replied.
A sharp laugh was pulled from both, Vaako and the Lord Marshal.
"Old times." Said Riddick.
"How ironic." Added Vaako, amusement still clear on both faces. "We will see you in nine hours, hobbit."
"Best warn your friends." Said Riddick as the image faded.
Bilbo and Gandalf looked at each other.
"That went well." The wizard said.
"Riddick keeps his word, when he makes a deal… if you keep yours."
"So he's going to kill Azog?" Kíli asked puzzled. "Why would he do that?"
"He owes Azog for killing someone important to him."
"So do I. He killed my grandfather and quite likely my father." Thorin reminded them.
"For heaven's sake don't tell Riddick or Vaako that." Bilbo warned.
"Why not?" Ori was curious.
"It's their most sacred law…Keep What You Kill. If you tell them that Azog killed Thrór and Thrór was king of Erebor at the time, by their laws, that makes Azog king of Erebor, now." Bilbo told them. "If you kill someone, you get to keep… everything they had, position, wealth, property, everything."
"Wow." Said Kíli. "What would that make Smaug, then?" Everyone looked at the dark haired dwarf. "What? Smaug kept the mountain, but he didn't kill the king to keep it."
Bilbo leapt to his feet, he rushed over to Kíli and grabbed a handful of hair on each side of the dwarf's head and pulled him down.
"You wonderful dwarf." Bilbo kissed Kíli full on the mouth. "You marvellous dwarf." he kissed Kíli again. "Fabulous dwarf." A third kiss. Kíli's eyes had opened wide when Bilbo kissed him for the first time, they stayed that when he was kissed for the second time, by when Bilbo's lips pressed against his for the third time, his eyes fluttered and an almost silent sound emerged from his lips.
"You've just solved all our issues, you lovely, lovely dwarf." Bilbo kissed him again, but this time instead of a fast hard press of lips, it was a slow deep merging of mouths. Bilbo was the one that drew back and smiled as he looked at Kíli.
"What was that for, Master Baggins?" Thorin wasn't impressed with the hobbit manhandling his nephew, even if the lad seemed to enjoy it.
"Kíli just reminded me that by the Necro's law, Smaug is unlawfully squatting."
"So? What's so important about that?" Fíli asked, watching the hobbit kiss his brother was a surprise and something he would like to avoid seeing again.
"Dwarrow have lots of laws, don't they, Thorin?" The dwarf nodded. "What if they only had one. Just one law. Then imagine, if you will, that someone broke that law, deliberately. How do you think the rest of your people would react?"
"Hmm.. fair enough. What did he mean when he warn us? Warn us of what?"
"Ah…" the hobbit paused for a bit. "Let me tell you about the Lord Marshal." He began to tell the story of how the Lord Marshal became the Lord Marshal.
Hours later the sun was closing in on the Mountains to their west when a humming sound was heard, it was similar to the sound of air leaving a set of bellows, but it didn't stop, it just kept humming. Lines of black smoke became visible, but very quickly Kíli realised it couldn't be smoke, it was something else, air was being sucked down and as it descended, it became lines of black vapour. The lines rose above the pointed end of the Carrock and the hum increased in volume.
"Ah… time to go." Bilbo jumped to his feet and grabbed his pack. The dwarrow rose and stood in front of him.
An object rose into sight, surrounded by the streaks of black vapour. Bilbo had tried to describe it but, most of the dwarrow had failed to grasp just how big the thing was, it was larger than a Man's house. It had small wings on each side at the rear, they curved out and down, the front of the thing was arched like the beak of an eagle. It rotated around so it faced away from the point of the Carrock, edged closer and a panel at the rear folded down until it stopped a foot or so above the edge of the cliff.
A man dressed like Vaako stepped forward, his face hidden by a helmet with cheek-guards. He held a weapon of something kind, cradling it in his arms like a babe.
"The Lord Marshal requires your-" the man's voice cut of mid sentence as Bilbo shoved Fíli to one side and stepped forward. "Hobbit?" The man took a step back, caution clear in every movement. "Ah… the Lord Marshal sent us…"
"Of course he did, Toal, I did tell him that he'd have to send a transport for us."
"Oh, thank UnderVerse, I don't want to go through that again. This way, hobbit, bring your people." Toal waved them aboard.
Kíli followed Bilbo, he wasn't getting left behind, he really wanted to see a city that floated in the sky… and those kisses were pretty good too. Alright, really good and he wanted more.
"Take a seat, gentlemen, the Lord Marshal awaits." Bilbo said, pulling Kíli down beside him.
Trilogy of nine stories.
1
A gift for the lord marshal
How does the hobbit know the lord marshal and why is toal afraid of him. What happened last time.
2
Smaug no one messes with a hobbit's kitchen
Smaug
Talking Riddick into killing Smaug. Bilbo steels dagger from Thorin without his knowledge, throws at Vaako, Riddick catches it just in front of Vaako's face, weighs and studies blade, throws it back at hobbit, Bilbo catches it same and passes back to Thorin.
This is a sample of Thorin's ?talent?
No one messes with a hobbit's kitchen.
Is the kitchen still in the same place?
3
Battle of no armies, we don't need an army we have Riddick
Azog
Bofa, we don't need an army, we've got Riddick
4
Yes, uncle hobbit
Yes, uncle hobbit
At the end of the day Bilbo says 'boys time for bed' Fíli n Kíli say 'yes uncle Bilbo' and Riddick and Vaako say ' yes uncle hobbit' the two look at each other, Riddick – what just happened. Vaako – he ordered us to bed. Riddick looks at hobbit, looks at Bilbo and says – it's not worth it.
5
Thranduil in hiding
Thranduil in hiding
Legolas wants to know why Thranduil is hiding in his room, refusing to answer the door.
6
Killing scones doesn't mean keeping spoons
Killing scones doesn't mean keeping spoons
Bilbo taking Riddick to Bag End for tea.
Lobelia keeps stealing Bilbo spoons, Riddick objects. Killing scones doesn't mean keeping spoons.
7
What do hellhounds and scones have in common
What do hellhounds and scones have in common?
Kíli want the story behind getting the hellhounds back. How does a hobbit Burgle six hellhounds? Scones. Lemon cake.
8
A pup for Vaako
A pup for Vaako
Ori gives Vaako a warg pup. Bofur says they're good at fetching.
Vaako calls Bilbo what do I feed it on. Bilbo replies goblins, but you don't have any so necro-traitors will do fine.
A year later it's taller than Vaako, calls back how big do they get? And how do I stop it from fetching people when I say their names.
9
Things I do for the lord marshal
The things I do for the lord marshal
Vaako wants to make dinner for lord marshal but can't cook. Wants lessons. Wearing apron, cause Bilbo won't let him in kitchen without it. Things I do for the lord marshal. Have you got one without flowers – are they daisies. Pup knock Vaako off his feet and he's covered in flour. Don't tell anyone. I don't have to, as Bilbo takes picture. Send it to Riddick.