Guilt, Aggression, and Despair

Prologue - The Downward Spiral

[Just a quick author's note, this story is potentially triggering for some people, especially ones who have went through suicide attempts, lost someone from suicide, those who self harm, and those who have had drug problems. Just a quick warning. I hope you enjoy the story, any and all criticism is welcome. Even harsh.]

"Why did things have to be this way?" was the thought that raced through Jordan's mind. All he remembered was hearing something break in the bathroom, only to find her body on the cold floor. Lucy's eyes were dilated, and her body was practically motionless, save for some shallow breathing. He screamed for help as soon as he saw the vial of pills on the floor, scattered. It only took a minute for the entire house to panic and call an ambulance to pick the girl up.

To Lucy, the last things she heard until she lost complete consciousness were distant sirens and the worried voices of her family.

As soon as Lucy was rushed to the hospital, Jordan took it upon himself to start packing Lucy's things from her room at the request of her parents, wanting her to be transferred to another school as soon as she got out of the hospital. He also called the office of Roseville High to break the news to her class... On the condition that they don't tell them what happened. He personally wanted his family to grieve by themselves. Eventually, everything was packed in boxes or moved to another room.

He kept telling himself that she'd die. He blamed himself that he couldn't help her. But he also blamed the Korat kid... none of this would have happened if he didn't open his jaw. It was his fault.

His fault.

"...It's all your fault, you know..." He choked out as he clenched Mike's shoulders, his grip starting to give out until he eventually let go, tears welling in his eyes and streaming down his face. Jordan fell to his knees, his hands almost desperately holding onto Mike's arms as he started to sob. "I just don't want to lose my little sister..." And in a moment's notice, the scarfed cat bolted away from Jordan and to find the hospital as fast as possible.

The bus stopped at the hospital, and Mike walked in only to be met with Lucy's mother grieving, and Sam on the verge of tears. Obviously horrified, he reached out to them, only to be met with the stoic voice of Lily, yet her eyes said otherwise about her feelings. "Go away, Micheal." She bluntly said. Mike only stared down at her in horror. "What happened to Lucy?!"

She stayed silent and pointed at Lucy's mom and Sam, already starting to break down in tears. "It was too late for any treatment." Lily mused somberly. "Her body must have given out just before you got here." Absolute shock and terror was displayed on Mike's face as he slowly brought a hand to his mouth, already feeling his stomach churn as he understood what exactly happened. But the expression on his face quickly turned to fear as he heard the angry yell of someone in despair attempting to dash straight at him.

"Sam, please-!"

"DON'T YOU GET IT, MOM?! THIS LITTLE SHIT KILLED HER! IT'S HIS FAULT THAT SHE'S DEAD!"

"Samuel-"

Sam turned to face Mike, fuming with rage and anguish as he screamed at him behind tears. "YOU LISTEN TO ME! YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD, YOU HEAR ME?! DEAD!" He yelled before collapsing onto the floor, sobbing out Lucy's name. Despite his body not wanting to move, Mike staggered out of the hospital, leaving the rest of the family behind.

Right when he walked out of the hospital's doors, Mike felt his legs slowly grow weak and give out as he thought about Lucy. Her quips at him, her teasing, her laughter... Her worry for him, her appreciation for him, her compliments towards him...

Her love for him.

Falling onto his knees as he remembered Lucy's confession months back, he clawed at the wall, sobbing silently until he finally screamed in absolute anguish. Tears fell to the concrete as he pounded his fist against the ground below him until his knuckles started to bleed. It was his fault, if he wasn't such a selfish, immature brat, Lucy would still be alive. Lucy would be okay. Everything would be okay.

But he went and fucked things up.

And now he was on the side of the street, tears and blood staining the concrete, pained screams filling the air as people looked at him, wondering what happened.

This would be the day that Roseville changed.