Author's note: Thanks to everyone who supported my other snowbarry oneshot :D I know they are probably not endgame, but I ship them anyway. They are too cute together. Here's another oneshot with some snowstorm. Hope you like it.
It was shock for everyone to find out that Ronnie was actually alive and that he was now a meta-human. No one knew what had happened to him, nor why hadn't he come back before. They just knew he was alive and they were relieved and shocked.
Barry noticed the pain in Caitlin's face the moment he dragged an unconscious Ronnie towards S.T.A.R labs and she rushed towards them to see if he was okay. Barry couldn't imagine how hard it was for her. Finding out that her dead fiancé was actually alive might had been a real shock for her.
It might have been really traumatic to relive those moments in which she last saw him and those moments in which the particle accelerator exploded. Barry couldn't imagine how hard it was for her, watching her not so dead fiancé walk back into her life.
"We still don't know much about his powers, you have to be careful Caitlin" Barry warned her, worried about what he could do to her. He knew they used to be lovers, but he couldn't risk her. They knew nothing about what Ronnie went through the time he was disappeared, so it was not safe.
"He wouldn't hurt me, Barry" Caitlin said softly, but he was still unsure. He looked at her with a worried expression but he knew no matter what he told her, she wouldn't listen. And he couldn't blame her, Ronnie was her fiancé after all.
Caitlin carefully laid Ronnie on the bed were Barry spend his nine months of coma and started checking his condition. Barry could only stand there and watch and it was so damn painful. He had never had more desires to run away than in that moment, to speed out of that suffocating room in a flash. However, he couldn't leave Caitlin alone. Not if she could be in danger.
He didn't know how it happened but for the past months, he had developed feelings for Caitlin. He had tried to fight them, knowing that she was still getting over the loss of her fiancé, but it had been inevitable. He had easily brought down her barriers, just as she did with his. They found things in common like dealing with the loss of someone special and had opened up to each other. Barry found himself sharing personal things about him he hadn't done with anyone that weren't the Wests.
Their relationship became much lighter after that. They became good friends and shared smiles and jokes. He helped her when she needed him and she helped him when he needed her. It was like an unspoken agreement. And they understood each other better than anyone else. Before he even knew it, he started seeing Caitlin Snow in a different light. Little did he know, he had completely moved on from Iris.
He felt silly the moment he realized he had fallen in love with Caitlin. Because, once again, it was impossible. However, wasn't he the one to make the impossible possible? In this case though, he couldn't say the same thing. He hadn't told her about his feelings because he was afraid that she was still in love with Ronnie. Barry had been afraid of having to fight against a ghost. What he didn't expect was that that ghost was more alive than ever.
Barry knew the moment they had found Ronnie, that his relationship with Caitlin wouldn't be same anymore. He was going to lose her. But how could he could lose something that was never his in the first place?
"Caitlin…" the hoarse voice of Ronnie snapped him out of his thoughts and he turned to look at him. He was awake now and was looking at Caitlin lovingly. She looked back at him with tears in her eyes.
"Hey" she said.
Barry suddenly felt as if he couldn't breathe, almost as if the air had been completely sucked away. He couldn't stand there and continue watching, so he decided to wait outside. He should have seen it coming. He had broad experience loving a person that was in love with someone else. First Iris and now Caitlin. However, that didn't make it less painful.
An awkward silence had engulfed them as Caitlin examined his vital signs and found that everything was normal. She was relieved to see that he was okay, but that didn't make things less awkward.
She had never imagined that she would one day see Ronnie again. She had lost all her hopes the day of the explosion. All that time, she thought he was dead and she had learned to live with that idea. Now, she didn't know what to think. What she knew was that things weren't the same anymore.
"I missed you" he whispered in a sweet voice and she smiled
"I missed you too" she mumbled. Ronnie then sat up and leaned closer, in an attempt to kiss her lips. The kiss landed on her cheek and it wasn't because he had aimed incorrectly. Caitlin had moved her head just when he had been about to kiss her.
"What's wrong?" he asked, obviously hurt by that fact that his fiancé had refused to kiss him. Caitlin simply looked away, not daring to meet his eyes.
"I thought you were dead, Ronnie" she said as tears threatened to fall from her eyes "I mourned your dead and I tried to live by everyday with the awful sensation of you being gone"
"But I'm here now" he said softly as he cupped her cheeks and wiped away her tears "And I'm not going anywhere"
"That's the problem" she said "You were alive all this time and yet you are back just now. You let me believe you were dead. Do you know how awful it was to wake up everyday and know you weren't there anymore?!"
"I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner, Cait" he said soothingly as he pulled her into his embrace. "I couldn't control my powers and I was afraid I could hurt you"
"We could have helped you!" she said, now very angry "You could have at least told us you weren't dead!"
"I'm really sorry" he said and looked away as he pulled away "I swear I'll make up for the lost time"
"That's the problem, Ronnie" she said and sighed as she turned around, giving him her back "Things have changed… I have changed"
"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice was shaky. He was afraid to hear what he thought she was going to say.
Caitlin sighed once again. It was more difficult than she thought. She didn't even know what to say.
"For a long time I thought I would never be able to move on and that I would never be able to forget you…." She said hesitantly and sighed once again. She didn't know how to tell him. She didn't even know what to tell him because she didn't even know exactly how she felt at the moment. She just knew everything had changed and that it would never be the same. She didn't feel the same anymore. "But it happened… I don't know how exactly, but things have changed"
Ronnie clenched his fists and closed his eyes tightly. He couldn't believe what he was hearing and it broke his heart. He knew he was too late. Maybe if he hadn't waited so long to come back, things would be different. Yea, things would definitely be different.
"This is about him, isn't it?" he asked with sadness and resignation in his voice. Caitlin's eyes widened in shock as she was taken aback by the sudden question.
"What are you talking about?" she asked.
"I'm talking about Barry Allen. I've seen the way you smile when you are around him" he said and she avoided his gaze once again, before sighing. Her cheeks immediately turned red. Barry? Did it had to do with Barry? "He has changed you"
For the past months, he had gotten closer to him in a way she had never imagined she would. She had always been a guarded person, even before Ronnie appeared in her life. It took Ronnie a while to bring down those walls and make her feel comfortable with him. Barry Allen, however, brought down her barriers without even trying. He managed to make her smile and open up to him without much effort. He just had to be himself. He was, indeed, the fastest man alive and she found herself bonding with him in a blink of an eye.
"I'm sorry, Ronnie" she said, biting her lip. She felt guilty and she couldn't help it. She felt like she was betraying him and all those years they were together, even though she wasn't. "I didn't want this to happen, but it did"
"I understand, don't worry" he said. He was sad and heartbroken, but he wanted what was best for Caitlin and seeing the way Barry had managed to make her smile again without much effort had been enough for him to see how much things had changed. "I can't blame you for moving on when you thought I was dead" he said and sighed "I'm sorry Caitlin, if had come back sooner, things would be so different"
"I'm sorry" she said once again, before she stormed out of the room.
Yeah, things would be so different if Ronnie had come back sooner. She wouldn't have had to deal with lost and grieve. She wouldn't have had to deal with the trauma of seeing her dead fiancé walking back to her life. And most definitely, she wouldn't have had to deal with her growing feelings for Barry Allen.
Everything was wrong. Things shouldn't have happened that way. She should have gotten married to her beloved fiancé and they should have lived happily. However, her future changed the night the particle accelerator exploded. Her life changed the night Barry Allen had been struck by lighting.
When she walked outside, still lost in her thoughts, she was startled to see Barry still standing there with his back rested against the wall, almost as if he didn't want to see what was going on inside. Her eyes widened in shock. She flushed instantly, afraid that he had heard the whole conversation with Ronnie.
"Jesus Barry, you scared me" she said and he chuckled. He could be smiling, but the sadness in his eyes was obvious. She could tell by the look on his face that he hadn't heard anything of her conversation with her ex fiancé and she didn't know if she should feel relieved or not.
"Sorry" he said , before he made a long pause. He stared at Caitlin, almost as if making sure she was completely unharmed. "So, is Ronnie alright?"
"Yeah, perfectly fine" she said and gave him a faint smile.
Awkwardness filled them suddenly. Neither of them knew how to deal with the situation and maybe Barry was right, things between them would never be the same.
"You might be really happy" Barry said as he gulped the sudden lump on his throat. Caitlin simply looked at him with a questioning look and then smiled faintly once again. "You can be with him now"
"Oh I'm happy that he is alive" she said and for a second, his heart broke. He knew it was wrong to have thoughts about wishing they had never found Ronnie, but he couldn't help them. "But we are not together anymore"
"What?" he asked surprised, and for a second, excited. He then cleared his throat and looked at Caitlin, waiting for an answer "Why?"
"It's just…" she made a pause as she thought of it "Things aren't as they were before"
Caitlin then sighed and Barry looked at her in a comforting way, before pulling her into a tight embrace. Caitlin was taken aback at first, but then hugged him back. Somehow, she felt so safe in his arms. She felt a sense of reassurance and belonging.
"Are you okay?" he asked sweetly. Even if deep inside he felt relieved to know Caitlin wasn't Ronnie anymore, he felt that it was wrong. He didn't know how she was coping with it. What if she wasn't happy with the idea? What if she wished things were different?
"Yeah, I'm fine" she said and gave him a reassuring smile "It was for the best, since I don't feel the same anymore"
"So… you don't love him anymore?" he asked, a little bit surprised, and she looked at him with amusement.
"Didn't I say that?" she asked and he laughed at his own silliness. "Why else would I have ended the relationship then?"
"Oh" he said and couldn't contain his smile.
"Don't get me wrong, Ronnie will always have a special place in my heart, but things have changed" she said and then sighed "I just fell in love with someone else"
"Who?" he blurted out suddenly, curiosity winning over him. His eyes widened when he realized he was pushing the matters a little too far. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to… I mean, I'd like to know but you don't have to say it…"
There he was again, babbling like an idiot because he got nervous. Caitlin didn't seem to mind though. She simply giggled.
"It's okay, Barry" she said and smiled "You are allowed to know"
"Really?" he asked excitedly and he didn't know why his heart started beating so fast. Almost as fast as his feet ran, if that was even possible. Deep inside his heart, he had hopes of hearing her say that he was the one she had fallen in love with.
"It's you Barry Allen" she said "I fell in love with you"
Barry smiled brightly as his heart skipped a beat. He couldn't contain his happiness and pulled her into another tight embrace, this time, not wanting to let go.
"That's good because I fell in love with you too" he whispered and she smiled in a way that melted his heart completely.
In that moment, he knew. He knew things between him and Caitlin would never be the same anymore, because everything had changed. Everything had changed for the best. Maybe he was right after all.