A.N.—as much as I love the R/S romantic fluff, I needed to show the angsty, more realistic side of the matter.
So what should I do
Just lay next to you
As though I'm unaffected
And who should I be
When they're judging me
As though I'm unaffected
--Hoobastank
"Sirius, what are we going to do?" Remus asked hoarsely.
Sirius shook his head, desperately trying to think about anything else but their current situation.
Because everyone knew, and it was all Snape's fault.
The conniving Slytherin had been wandering the halls late one night on prefect duties when he accidentally stumbled upon a disheveled Sirius Black and Remus Lupin in a very compromising position.
By morning it seemed, the entire school had heard.
Homosexuality was not something they looked in favor upon. Most had gone as far as to being downright vicious in their remarks towards the couple during breakfast. Even James and Peter, their best friends, wouldn't look them in the eye.
Sirius had had enough. Without bothering to finish eating, he had retreated back to the Gryffindor dorms, with Remus not far behind.
And there they lay entwined together on Remus' four-poster, enjoying the temporary absence of their classmates' loathing.
"Maybe...maybe we should just...end it." Remus decided, his voice cracking slightly.
Sirius gray eyes shot over to his companion's amber gaze.
"That's what you want, Moony?" Sirius whispered.
Remus sighed. "Does it matter?"
"Yes!" Sirius nearly shouted in a broken voice. He untangled himself from the other boy and stood up.
"Look, Remus, we're in love. We're happy together...we just fit. Why should we give a shit what everyone else thinks? It's their problem if they can't accept this!" he continued angrily.
Remus rose from his bed and padded over to where Sirius was pacing across the room.
"Sirius." Remus grabbed his arm to make him stand still. "You know that things are always more complicated than that. Stop being so naïve. I wish this could work, but..."
"Aren't you willing to at least try?" Sirius asked.
Remus stared at him calmly.
"We can do this, Moony. Whatever happens, we'll be in it together. I don't see why we have to be so ashamed about who we are."
Remus offered him a sad half-smile. "That's how the world works, Sirius. Haven't you figured that out by now? People reject what they can't understand. Society makes us feel angry with ourselves for being different even though we don't always have control over what it is that sets us apart. Like how I turn into a monster every month...or how I fell in love with my best friend," he said quietly.
Sirius was heartbroken. He hated seeing Remus like this.
Sirius wrapped his arms around his lover in comfort.
"Let's make them understand, Moony," he whispered.
Remus broke away reluctantly, avoiding the other boy's eyes. He took a deep breath as the stoic words slowly formed on the tip of his tongue.
"I don't think I can do that, Sirius. I'm not strong like you."
As Remus walked away from Sirius, feeling tears welling up in his eyes, he began to wonder if he had just made the biggest mistake of his life.
As though I'm unaffected...