Warning: This story contains yaoi, BL (Boys' love), shounen-Ai, boyxboy (What else? XD). If you don't like it, then don't read! XDD
Contains manga spoilers from chapter 219, 225-227
Credits: Mangafox for the flashbacks
Kain (Pixiv id: 445409) for the cover
Disclaimer: Characters' names and some references are originally made by Fujimaki Tadatoshi-sensei. I do not own anything aside from the story itself.
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Last Regret: 最終後悔
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- ― - CHAPTER I - ― -
Recurring Memories: 定期的な思い出
"If it weren't for that happening, you won't be in this state today. It was
.
.
.
all my fault, right?"
It was all grey that day, one where you can't tell what time it is. The sky was filled with dark clouds and the rain poured hard as it drummed the earth's surface with an unusual melody of sadness and gloom. It was another day where a red-head man holding a black umbrella walked his way to visit someone in the hospital. The scene was not different at what happened that time. It was raining too when he saw in his own eyes how awful, how dreadful had happened to Kuroko. The only difference was, before, the clear rain shifted to red once it touches the ground.
As he got into the marbled building, he closed his umbrella and rode to the elevator as he nonchalantly pressed the button going to the eleventh floor without looking. Yes, he was used to it; more like it was part of his schedule. While waiting, he only looked down into the dirty white Victorian themed tiles as he let his umbrella drip water into the floor.
"Akashi-kun." That's how Kuroko called him. And whenever his mind recalls that calm voice, the sound carries the desolating catastrophe he deplores. He's remembering it again, the happening ten years before. They were on their third year in middle school and it was their National-Interschool Sports championship, their last tournament. Kuroko, before the final game, took injury as he was hit by a strong blow from their opponent. Shortly after that, he fell and fainted as the medics quickly took action on him. He slowly regains his consciousness as he woke up in a white room after he got enough rest. As he turned his head to the right side, he saw Teikou's basketball club captain sitting in a chair beside his bed and staring at him with his heterochromatic eyes.
"Tetsuya, how do you feel?" Akashi asked.
"Akashi-kun, the match…" Kuroko anxiously said.
"We won of course." Akashi ensured. "The finals will be starting in five minutes that's why the others aren't here right now." He continued.
"I'll play too!" Kuroko said as he emphasized his determination.
"I won't allow it. The doctor said you should rest. Don't make a fuss about it and sleep." Akashi ordered.
"But…" Kuroko complained.
"I know. It's about Ogiwara-kun right? I just met him in the hall. He said that you two should definitely play again." Akashi delivered.
"I see." Kuroko relented. "Ah– Akashi-kun…" he called out.
"What is it?" Akashi asked.
"The finals, please take them seriously. Please!" Kuroko pleaded.
Akashi only looked at him. "Are you sure, despite of the point difference?"
"Yes." Kuroko bowed down.
"…"
"I understand, I'll show them, Teikou's strength." Akashi only said with his back facing Kuroko as he went out.
But all of that was just a bluff; Teiko players just gave away points. And their opponents in the final game lost their spirit in playing basketball, just as much as what happened to the other players who faced the strongest basketball team. As the announcer declared Teikou's three-row win, Ogiwara can only stare blank as he saw Kuroko.
"Akashi-kun, why?" Kuroko said in grim as tears started to flow in his face. "Why? Why did you trampled on my promise to my friend? You hear nothing of the voices of your teammates. Even though we won, my chest aches, it hurts to breathe. Can something like this… really be called victory?"
"Why? Why you played the match like that?" Kuroko interrogated.
"Why you said? The difference in our strengths is too great either way. The results would have been the same no matter what." Akashi answered.
"Even though, I asked you not to go easy on them." Kuroko insisted.
"We merely controlled the match, compared to when we were just scoring haphazardly; the others were much more focused." Akashi defended, trying to make Kuroko understand his point.
"That's not it! What I meant was–" Kuroko argued but Akashi cut his premise.
"If all you hear is sophistry, it matters not to me. But I must ask if you must insist on us not going easy this time, why have you not said the same for our other matches?" Akashi asked. "To avert your eyes when the opponents have no relationship with you and only say things of that sort when your friends have some involvement, to me that is sophistry." He continued.
"Eh?! Kuroko-cchi's friend was our opponent in the finals? If that's the case, you should've told us earlier…" Kise said. "Ah– but I guess, it still would've been impossible with that large point difference. I don't know if I could've kept my concentration till the end." The blonde continued as he changed his mind.
"Isn't it obvious we'd get bored of just scoring~? It's not like we're volunteers you know~ Right, Mido-chin?" Murasakibara, the tallest player added.
"Hmph, I have no interest in how the rest of you play. I only need to fulfil my own purpose." Midorima said in his tsundere character.
"It's not that we don't want to be serious. It's that we can't because they're too weak. We're just trying to cure the boredom a little you know." Aomine said. "Why can't the strong have a little fun too? It's their fault for being so damn weak. Or are you trying to say that even with that kind of a difference, we can have a match where everyone does their best and both the winners and the losers leave satisfied? If that's what you want, how do you expect us to make that happen?" he continued.
"That… I don't know." Kuroko answered. "But to me, our victory was more painful than any of my past failures. Even I there were no other paths we could've taken, I do not want to experience that kind of feeling ever again. Nor can I forget it. Therefore, I quit basketball."
With that said, Kuroko ran away. He didn't want to face his teammates. He doesn't want to take up the tragedy. Many eyes followed his track as Akashi chased after him. It was a bit foggy outside because of the rain. As Kuroko got into the road intersection, people who saw that moment can only scream as he got bumped by a car. Akashi widened his eyes and dropped his jaw as blood, Kuroko's blood splattered on his jersey and legs. In his front was his own student, lying in red pool of gore. The driver couldn't be blamed much too as the stoplight showed green and signalled vehicles to go and with Kuroko's weak presence, one could barely see him.
Akashi can only shout Kuroko's name. It was a grievous day. If he didn't say that, if he didn't do that, if he didn't lie to Kuroko, would this happen? No.
Akashi sighed. His flashback ended as the elevator opened. After he arrived into his designated floor, he headed to room 415. The steps of his shoes can be heard into the entire corridor as he was the only person in there. As he got into the room, nothing crucial changed. Kuroko was still sleeping. But that doesn't mean he's sleeping in peace. He might be unconscious right now, but the pain remains engraved in his mind and heart. Akashi can only look at Kuroko's pitiful condition. His pallid body injected with dextrose tried its best to keep living as his slightly parted chapped lips covered with breathing apparatus puffed air. He barely had any life and Akashi can only curse himself for depriving it from him. Kuroko deserved to live. It was him who destroyed Kuroko's future. All Akashi can do is stop the phantom's life from running out. But is letting Kuroko live a right choice?
"Tetsuya, just wait a little longer." Akashi consoled for the umpteenth time as he brushed Kuroko's light-blue hair and held his pale hand. If before, he'll do anything just to win, now is different, he'll do anything just for Kuroko. He learned victory doesn't have any worth compared to the bluenette. It was something he only realized after Kuroko almost died. And Akashi knew to himself that Kuroko, if ever he'll open his eyes again in this cruel world, will loathe him. He was sure of that fact, but is he prepared enough to face it? Living while your loved one hates you is painful. And no one will comfort you as the person you need is not there. Despite of that, he knows that Kuroko's life is more valuable than his feelings.
Suddenly, with all that deep cogitating, Kuroko's index finger jerked a bit. It caught Akashi's utmost attention. For the first time after ten years, he moved, even it was just seconds, he moved. It was not just a simple muscle contraction; it was what Akashi had been waiting for. Week after week as it continued, Akashi had to report it to the doctor.
"Slight body movements are signs that he slowly begins to regain his senses now. The verisimilitude of him waking up is highly possible." The doctor said.
"Tetsuya, you'll finally be awake." Akashi said to himself as unknown to him, he made an anxious face."
"Akashi-san?" the doctor cut him out in deep thinking.
"Ah–? Hai. Arigatou gozaimashita." Akashi said.
"Then, I'll be excusing myself." The doctor replied before leaving.
Akashi slumped into the chair beside Kuroko's bed. "Finally, he'll be awake. But why? Why do I feel uneasy?" Akashi thought as he stared at the ceiling before finding himself in a deep slumber.
"Kuroko." Akashi called out as he found Kuroko in an empty gym, silly pinching his own cheeks.
"Eh?!" Kuroko flinched before he faced.
"There shouldn't be morning practice today." Akashi reminded.
"Akashi-kun, you're right. But somehow, I seem to have woken up early today." Kuroko answered.
"I see." Akashi said. "By the way, what were you doing just now? Pinching yourself like that." Akashi teased.
"Y-you saw that, huh?" Kuroko said in embarrassment.
"How do I put this, it doesn't feel real. This time last year, I was still in third string and on top of that, no matter how much I practiced, I barely had any effect. I could only dream on being promoted and even considered quitting the club. But I'm in first string now and I've been able to play alongside everyone. I was even allowed to experience victory. This goes beyond happiness… It's like a dream I can hardly believe. And I was thinking about all this, the person who was the cause of all of this appeared before me. So, I'd like to take this opportunity to say… It's all thanks to you Akashi-kun… Thank you very much." Kuroko said. "Because Akashi-kun is the reason, Akashi-kun is the reason why I'm like this right now, right?" he continued smiling as tears of blood came out of his eyes.
Akashi's eyes snapped open to reality as he felt his phone vibrating loudly in his pocket, signing that he have to return into his office in few hours. "A d-dream?" Akashi said wiping the cold sweat in his face as he turned to Kuroko. "He's still here… He's not crying blood. He's fine right?" he said trying to calm himself down as he caressed Kuroko's wan cheek gently.
After few days, again, Akashi visited Kuroko to the hospital. "I'm here, Tetsuya." Akashi greeted as he entered Kuroko's room. As usual he will stare at Kuroko's face and watch him, but this time it's different. After sleeping for a decade, Kuroko's eyelids slowly opened, revealing tranquil light-blue orbs that resemble a clear, vast sky. Blurry to his vision, he can hardly see his surroundings. But slowly, it became clearer and clearer until he can see the figure of the man standing before him. Akashi can only gape his mouth as he witnessed how Kuroko got awake.
"Te…tsu…ya?" Akashi stuttered.
Author's Notes: And yeah, this is my first yaoi fanfic. And it's AkaKuro! *floating hearts* so I hope you do enjoy in reading. T_T OTL Even though it's just full of flashbacks OTL Really, gomenasai... *cries* the real story begins on the next chapter! :D