the lost days, a kingdom hearts fanfic

I'm supposed to be doing my English essay whoops. I've never written really romance-y things before oh wow help me.
a/n: the line breaks weren't working properly at all so some of it is all chunked together eugh.

the lost days
ten days with you
[ hollowbastions ]

She would draw places and people she had never met and he would fight the darkness and heartless he knew too well.

She would place a potion bottle on the smooth white table, careful not to stain it with finger tips dipped in bright wax and he would gracefully flop into a chair and resist the urge to drink it all at once, letting the cool green liquid slide down his throat.

She is Naminè and he is Riku and sometimes he'll forget that she's the empty shell of his best friend.

He is Riku and she is Naminè and sometimes she'll forget that he's not hers to keep locked away in a heart she doesn't have.

Sometimes Naminè would watch Riku, watch how he's changed. In Sora's memories he's this confident boy who walks with his shoulders back and has a cocky grin on his face, but this Riku – the one she knows is different. His shoulders are hunched and his cocky grin has transformed into a downcast sort of scowl and he's so quiet, only speaking a quick word or two when he has too.

He left Castle Oblivion to find the road to dawn. Sometimes Naminè wants to ask if he ever found it, but she already knew the answer when he turned up on her doorstep with a thick woollen blindfold covering those aquamarine eyes of his.

But sometimes, ever so rarely something will happen and the corner of his lips will twitch upwards in a light smirk and for a second Naminè will wonder if that Riku from the islands is still somewhere close by after all.

Naminè understands that a big part of the reason she feels the way she think she might feel is because of Sora and Kairi – of course she knows that. After all, no one in all the worlds can love Riku as much as his two friends from the islands can, it's impossible. Doesn't mean she won't try though.

She's gotten good at ignoring Kairi's memories once they've been triggered, the smell of salt still shoots her into a world where the sand is between her toes and the salty sea wind whips her red hair out behind her, even though she knows it's actually blonde. Sometimes she can hear Sora's chuckling as he runs in front of her, out towards a fifteen year old Riku with shorter hair wading in the knee deep crystal blue water.

Naminè understands that she is not Kairi but in a way she is also not Naminè so in the end she just feels like a confused mish mash of both as she slumps against the wall with the sound of Riku and Sora's laughter still ringing in her ears.

She was colouring a stain glass window when it happened.

He charged through the front doors of the mansion, the stomping of black boots could clearly be heard from her own white room. When her own door burst open he stood with crimson blood dripping from a cut beginning at his hairline and ending in the middle of his cheek, other angry gashes could be seen on his arms under the tattered remains of the sleeves on his cloak.

"Potion." He says, voice gravelly and straining. One of his arms is wrapped tightly around his stomach, the other leaning against the door frame to keep the rest of him upright. Really, Naminè thinks. He's dead on his feet, a potion can only fix so much.

She gets up from her chair and walks towards Riku, taking the arm that was resting on the door frame and guiding him towards the chair. Last she checked there were three elixirs in the storage room, DiZ won't even notice if one's missing because that would mean he'd actually have to take note of supplies for once, which he doesn't.

Naminè leaves the room and heads towards the library, yellow crayon in hand. She draws the symbol on the table out of instinct now and heads down the stairs to see DiZ sitting in front of the large computer as usual. He won't stop her, it would involve him actually accepting her existence within the mansions walls.

She reaches into one of the cupboards, taking one of the small golden bottles and heads back to the white room for Riku who is hopefully not comatose from blood loss.

When he sees the elixir in her hand he frowns. "We only have three of those." He grumbles and Naminè rolls her eyes. "Yes, and after this we'll have two and you won't have a giant scar across your face." She says.

"It's just a cut, I don't want the elixir."

"Fine, where are your bandages?"

Riku digs into his pocket and grabs a handful, placing them on the table next to him. Naminè begins to untie the blindfold but his hand snaps up and grabs her arm, stopping her. "What are you doing?" he asks. Naminè blinks. "The blindfold is in the way of the cut, I need to see it properly if I'm going to-"

"No. No you can't take it off otherwise-" he almost sounds afraid.

"Otherwise I won't... bandage it?"

Riku frowns. "Fine," he says. "But I'm just lifting up one corner, so please stop untying it." He lets go of Naminè's arm and lifts up the corner of the dark blindfold, half of it already has a giant tear through it anyway. One of his eyes peek out and Naminè hums while sticking the bandages over the cut with one hand and wipes away blood with the other.

When she's done he slides the blindfold back over and gingerly starts to move one arm away from his stomach, wincing when he moves too quickly and it's so obvious he's in pain.

"Riku?"

"Hm?"

"Just drink the elixir."

She never stops working, Riku notices. She's always doing something, whether it be checking the supply cupboards, fixing his careless injuries or working on Sora's restoration. She never rests, that much is obvious from the small bags under her eyes or the way she'll sometimes stop and lean against a wall, hand pressing against her forehead and her eyes squeezed shut.

Sometimes after a long day he'll walk the familiar stairs to her room and find her small figure slumped in a chair, her head resting on the table and a crayon still held loosely in her fingers. Sometimes he'll walk towards her, brush a stray flaxen lock from her cheek and try not to snigger when there's a blue wax stain across it or the way she'll mumble little words like 'stupid' or 'just drink the elixir, Riku' – which to his credit, he usually does eventually.

Other times, it's not as peaceful.

Other times he'll be awoken from his slumber to hear quick panting and whimpering, the almost frantic whispering of 'no! Marluxia don't hurt him stop no-!' So he'll walk towards her room and open the door to see her head lying across the table in her usual position but with tear tracks across her cheeks instead of wax and he'll brush his fingers across her face and her hair until she calms down and her breathing returns to normal.

It was only days after that it occurred him that, hang on; Nobodies shouldn't be able to cry. Nobodies shouldn't be able to feel anything, let alone fear.

She was drawing again, she was always drawing until her hands were stained with wax and her fingers ached and sometimes Riku would have to pull the sketch book away and she'd always grumble of course and say 'this is my job, Riku. I have to do it.'

Riku flicks through the pages, stopping on the one the depicts Sora asleep in his pod, eyes closed and face peacefully blank. When he looks up at Naminè she's already staring at him, her eyebrows creased. "See?" she says, reaching forward to take the sketch book back, running her fingers across the drawing before flipping to her current page. "This is why I have to fix this. You need him, Kairi needs him. The worlds need him." She finishes, her lips curving into a small, almost sad smile.

It's at this point that Riku realizes that seeing Naminè upset actually bothers him, maybe even as much as her occasional night terrors do. He also started to wonder what the hell he had gotten himself into when he turned up on the Twilight Town mansion's doorstep all those months ago to see a girl in a white dress with violet eyes smile and say 'I didn't think I'd see you again so soon.'

"Sora got that crown necklace when he was eight," He begins and he see's Naminè look up at him through the blindfold. Everything in the white room practically glows, conveniently enough. "It was even bigger on him then, kind of like it was weighing his whole body down." There's curiosity dancing in her eyes now, good. She's interested.

"I said it'd stunt his growth and he got so angry he stomped onto his boat and tried to row himself off the play island by himself only to get stuck out in the middle of the water because his arms were tired."

"How'd he get back to the main island then?"

Riku snorts. "I had to row out there myself and help push his boat forward with one of my oars. He didn't speak to me for hours."

Naminè laughs, almost loud enough to echo through the white room and when she stops her face is flushed and she's breathing heavily and there's a grin on her face and she's so happy and Riku thinks idly that it's far too late to go back, he's already fallen somewhere between getting told to drink an elixir and seeing her smile at him like she's saying thank you.

Their first kiss was so feather light that a part of Naminè wonders if she had just imagined the last thirty seconds. When they pull back neither of them really question it, there wasn't any point. Not really.

Naminè is still sitting in her chair, so she tugs the fabric of Riku's cloak, pulling him back down towards her and their lips meet each other halfway, one of Riku's hands resting on her shoulder and Naminè's own arm twined around his neck. He can feel his heart thumping through his ears and Naminè wonders if it's normal for a Nobody to feel like their chest is going to explode, but she likes the feeling of it so she's going to keep kissing him anyway because it's soft and warm and all these other wonderful things she doesn't have names for.

Riku doesn't go out that day. Naminè doesn't mind in the slightest, she doesn't do much drawing that day either.

"You're in love with him." DiZ states and Naminè just smiles and says "Yes." Because she doesn't care if she's a Nobody who isn't supposed to have the capacity to love, she knows that the beating in her chest is real and the way her stomach curls and does back flips during an exceptionally good kiss is too.

"Foolish girl, you're a Nobody. Everything you feel is just a product of your Somebody's memories."

"If that's what you think."

Riku has been coming back to the mansion more and more tired as of late, feet dragging through the front door, his legs feeling like lead by the time they climb up to Naminè's white room. She doesn't mind, he needs his rest anyway.

There's a heap pillows on the floor now, a makeshift bed-couch-thing for her to sleep on, now him too half the time. Usually she ends up sleeping on his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist while he listens to her breathing.

On the islands a child Riku imagined the future as him travelling across the worlds with his two best friends. He finds himself wondering occasionally whether Naminè would like the islands, but quickly dismisses the thoughts – the life of a keybearer and those lives connected to them were too uncertain, so easily thrown into disarray. He has everything going on now to focus on anyway.

A part of him still feels undeserving of course, after all hasn't everything that's gone bad been partially his fault? The one time he actually voiced those thoughts Naminè glared at him, saying 'No, it's Ansem's and the Organization's fault. Everything would have happened anyway, regardless of whether you saw that keyhole in the secret place or not.'

He's surprised when he almost starts to believe her.

Thank you, Naminè.

Naminè is surprised to see Riku sitting in his chair across the table when she walks into her white room. "You're back early." She says with a smile, leaning over to peck him on the cheek.

"I have to go out later so I figured I'd come back early," he says. "Xion's... gone, so it's time to get Roxas." He exhales a shaky breath, like he's been left out in the snow for days, not inside a warm room.

"You'll be fine, so will Sora when he wakes up."

He tries to smile, "Of course."

"Can you do me favour?" she asks and Riku almost says yes without thinking before noticing the strange glimmer in her eyes. "I.. think so?" he says warily.

"Let me see your eyes." She says softly, careful of what his response will be.

Riku freezes, looking up at her. "I can't the darkness it'll-"

"It won't. You can fight it, Riku. I know you can." She says as she reaches her hands around to the back of his head to untie the blindfold, letting the thick black fabric fall into her hands. His eyes flicker open slowly, squinting at first as he adjusts to the light streaming through the window.

You miss a lot when you're wearing a blindfold, he discovers.

Like the light smattering of freckles across Naminè's nose.

He reaches up to touch her face and kisses her softly, her lips warm against his. "Told you could do it." She whispers and Riku smiles because she has a habit of being right about these things.

Eventually, Riku has to go complete his final mission and Naminè has to finish the last of her drawings. He slips the blindfold back over his eyes, and tries not to laugh when Naminè slips an elixir into his cloak pocket. "What?" she says innocently. "You might need it and who knows maybe if you actually use it you might come back completely uninjured."

"But then there'll only be one left and-"

"Yes one left and no broken leg, or arm or giant cut across your face." She laughs and Riku just sighs and holds onto her hand.

"I'll be back soon."

"Be safe."