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Dora la Idiota
by JAPB of X1-1R
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It was a sunny day just like every other day. Dora, now a middle-aged woman, just got out of rehab because of drug was an explorer back then, but because of the show's cancellation she became depressed and now she is better known as Dora la Idiota. She still had her apple cut hair ,violet shirt,and pink was expecting her cousin Diego el Tonto,who supplies her with cocaine, to come before with Diego was Dora's best friend, Boots, who now was a mutated ape.
"Waddup bitch!" said Diego while handing her a big black bag full of cocaine.
Suddenly, the phone across the room rang.
"Hey ape pick it up!" she said.
"No! You pick it up!" said Boots.
"Alright! Calm your asses I'm gonna get it" said Diego, then ran to the phone across the room and picked it up. Isa was on the phone.
"Hello? Dora?" shouted Isa.
"Hey, this is Diego speaking. What do you need Isa?" said Diego
"I … I need help Diego…" then the phone was cut. Diego wondered what happened to Isa. He then rushed back to them to tell the news.
"Hey guys, Isa needs our help." said Diego.
"Alright, we're going on an adventure then," said Dora, "Diego, give me your telescope."
Diego then handed his magical telescope to Dora. It was the same telescope he used back when he was a kid. Dora took a peak into the telescope and was shocked at what she else is watching her silently with silly expressions on their thought it was just a prank.
"I-i-Isa, she turned into Godzilla." said Dora, "She is at the Purple Mountain wreaking havoc all over the town."
"But how do we get there Dora? How!" shouted Diego , he was shivering with fear.
"Who do we ask for help if we don't know which way to go?" asked Boots
"The Map!" Dora interrupted , she then rushed to her room and went to her treasure chest. She left her backpack and the Map there after the show got cancelled. Her Backpack and the Map was covered with dust. The Map also turned brown because it was stuck there for a couple of decades now.
Everyone else was waiting for her , Boots is scratching his head and Diego is still came rushing to the room along with her Backpack and the Map.
"Yo Dora, what up, why you leave me there?" cried the Map, this is how you get to the Purple Mountain. First, you go to the bridge. Remember, the bridge is guarded by the Grumpy Old Scammer, be careful."
Everyone was listening very seriously to the was combing her hair while the map is speaking while Boots is scratching his head.
"Woops! You hit the very dark tunnel and go through." said the map.
"What!D-d-dark tunnel!Are there any other way around!" screamed Dora , nobody knows she is afraid of the dark. And finally, you are at the Purple Mountain. Okay, so the bridge, then the dark tunnel, and then the Purple Mountain. Remember, don't forget this Dora."
"Okay, okay" said Dora, "Diego, can you stay here and take care of the kids?"
"Uhhh, y-y-yes" said Diego
Diego had no choice but to take care of the kids. He is very afraid of Boots. Then, Dora took her backpack with her and got out of the house. As they were walking, they heard a noise behind the bushes.It was very swift like a sneaky fox. They heard footsteps , it was getting louder and faster.
"Swiper noooo-" Dora started to chant, but Swiper grabbed her by the arm in an instant.
"Because of you, my life has changed. Now I am known as Swiper Snatcher. I would've changed for the better if your show wasn't cancelled." said Swiper
However , Boots started to sneak behind him while he was talking.
"Now give me your mo-" said Swiper but Boots caught him off guard and swept him to the ground.
"Give up Swiper! Or else I'm gonna break your arm," said Boots while holding him in an armlock. Dora started to run , she was startled by the sudden appearance of Swiper.
"Alright, I give up. This will not be the last, Dora! We will meet again." laughed Swiper
Boots then let go of Swiper, who ran back to the bushes, and started to call Dora. Dora was still shocked , her eyes looked straight to nowhere. Her lips very dry , she murmured words random words.
"It's okay Dora! He's gone now" said Boots and hugged her tightly.
They continued walking along the trail to the bridge. After a few minutes of walking, they saw the bridge. It was very old , missing a few planks at the middle. It was very dangerous to dare cross it.
"Let's go before the Grumpy Old Scammer sees us" said Boots.
"Okay," said Dora. "Come on,vamanos!" Dora and Boots ran to the bridge but halfway along it, they started to hear a groaning voice. They started to run faster but the bridge is shaky. Suddenly, someone jumped from behind.
"Aha! You sneaky addicts! Before you may pass my bridge, you must eat these! "
"Uhm , what are those? Are those safe? " said Dora , she never trusted the him and started to change her mind.
"These are cookies, they won't poison you I promise." said the Grumpy Old Scammer while slowly walking towards them. He had a silly grin on his face.
"Good, I'm very hungry!" said Boots then took the whole basket of cookies.
"Okay, eat them first before you may pass" said the Grumpy Old Scammer with a malicious grin on his face.
Boots then ate all of the cookies and after this they were allowed to pass the bridge. They didn't know what the Grumpy Old Scammer was up to. He isn't called a scammer for nothing. After a few minutes of walking, Boots felt something in his stomach.
"Uhh, Dora? Uno dos tres please" said Boots. He didn't know what he was saying, Dora didn't teach him Spanish.
"What?You stupid ape!" shouted Dora
"My tummy feels bad, I need to poo." Said Boots
"Not now ape! Isa needs our help" said Dora.
Boots wasn't able to complain. Dora raised him since he was a little monkey so off they went to the dark tunnel. It was very dark , voices echo through it and bats were inside. However, Boots knew Dora was afraid of the dark. She imagined every dark place full of ninjas. As a child, she developed the fear of ninjas because when she was 7 years old she was kidnapped and abused in Japan.
"Oh hell no!" screamed Dora.
"C'mon Dora! Let's ask backpack for help" said Boots, "Backpack, backpack, backpack yeaaah!
The backpack started to move and slowly its dry,big lips started to whisper words.
"Hola! What do you need Dora?" asked the backpack,swinging sideways with a very big grin on its face.
"We need bombs, ohh, and guns too please," said Dora with a silly smile on her face.
"Okay, easy there bitch. I got this" said the backpack and handed Dora the weapons she needed.
Then, Dora open fired on the dark tunnel. She was right! There were ninjas all over the place, all of them died.
"See that Boots? That's why I'm afraid of the dark" said Dora, Boots didn't believe what he saw.
"How did you know there were people there Dora?" asked Boots
"You gotta use them, instincts, you stupid ape! Who would just go past through a dark tunnel like that? " shouted Dora with a very high pitch voice
"Oooh , alright! Let's go forward" said Boots
And off they went to the Purple Mountain that is not really purple. From afar, they saw a big green monster. It had vicious fangs, enough to cut a person in half. It also had claws, which were not so scary at all.
"Roar! D-d-Dora! Ahhhh! What is happening Dora?!" exclaimed Boots, He was transforming. Slowly, he grew in shape and his muscles suddenly became developed. He was becoming vicious teeth became fangs and his claws started to grow longer.
"No! Boots! You're becoming a monster! " said Dora, she was shocked at what she saw.
Then suddenly a man singing "Payphone" came to the scene. It was Adam Levine! But why?
"Everything is going as planned!" said Adam Levine, while laughing like a maniac. Boots started to walk very straight.
"What do you mean?" asked Dora
"Don't you get it? I'm the Grumpy Old Scammer! I was only wearing a costume you dumbass girl!" shouted Adam Levine then sang "Payphone."
"Hola master, hola stupid girl!" said Boots in a very robotic voice
"What did you just say, you stupid ape?" shouted Dora
"Good! Now listen to me Boots! Annihilate Godzilla first then kill Dora la Idiota" said Adam Levine then ran away to the forest.
"Yes master" said Boots
Nobody knew Adams plan. He was really evil. He hypnotized people with his oh-so-beautiful songs. Now, he hypnotized Boots with the cookies he gave at the bridge. Boots then ran to the Purple Mountain and fought Isa Godzilla.
"Ola Isa, I'm gonna kill you" said Boots in a very weird and funny way
"Rawr! No, B-B-Boots I can't control myself! Ahhhhh" said Isa. Indeed, she can't control herself. The monster is eating her soul.
"No! I shall kill you" screamed Boots and put her in a guillotine choke.
Boots then tried to choke her out but Isa is too strong. Isa threw Boots to the ground and smashed him to a nearby McDonald's. They didn't knew that Adam Levine was in favour of McDonald's. He came out of nowhere, very angry.
"No!My beloved Mcdo! " screamed Adam , he loved McDonald's since he was a little boy. He devoted his music career to the expansion and development of McDonald's.
"Alright, boss! Ill finish her for you." Said Boots
"Good, you better kill her fast then kill Dora next heh heh heh" said Adam and started to sing Payphone on the way to the top of Purple Mountain. While all this was happening, Dora was searching her backpack for weapons. She was going to kill Boots.
"Hola Dora! I have an RPG here!" said backpack with a silly grin on its face
"Good, let me have it!" said Dora, she really wanted to stop Boots streak.
Dora then aimed at Boots butt, she knows this is the only weakness of Boots. She waited for the right timing.
"Alright, you're gonna die stupid ape" Dora then pulled the trigger. But because of Boots fast reflexes, he dodged it and instead Dora killed Isa.
OH no! What has Dora done?! She killed her friend Isa and now Boots is going to kill her.
"Thanks for helping me kill her" whispered Boots
Then Boots leaped on Dora and slit her throat with his claws. He then ate the guts out of Dora but he didn't know that Dora's blood is a few minutes ,he too dies. This was Adam Levine's plan. Now, without Dora he would be able to conquer the world. Adam Levine will be able to have his reign over the world