Disclaimer:
These characters don't belong to me, but to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all related entities with a rightful claim to them. Aurora is a character I have created myself, placed in their universe.
This is a sort-of sequel to "Destinies". It stands alone as a love story, but connects with two prior stories I wrote, namely "Protection" and "Destinies". (I hardly do any exposition here, so any confusing details can be cleared up by checking out those two.)
This story takes place around the same time as The Gift and There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb. Rated PG for some implied sexual situations. Events in Buffy season 5 and Angel season 2 remain essentially intact, with the addition of events from the previous stories mentioned above.
Special dedications to luckystarsdpc and lisa. This may not be the continuation you expected, but I *am* working on it!
Send feedback please to slayerbelle@go.com
Heartbeats
by Slayerbelle
Well, would you look at that.
Aurora Halley wasn't sure he'd see her. She'd taken the stage at Caritas once before, and realized that with the bright lights on you, you don't see the crowd. They're all silhouettes, shadows in darkness, and you feel like you're alone with only that song, only that music.
She placed her palm over the rim of her glass and concentrated. Slowly, the champagne bubbled. And then the bubbles came quickly, fizzing and popping a soft green glow, culminating in a brilliant flash of green light -- brighter and quicker than a camera's flash bulb. As the bar's patrons looked at one another in surprise, she took her palm off the glass and feigned innocence.
A quick chill fell over the steamy bar. Aurora counted. It lasted only around three seconds, barely enough time for people to notice. As it passed through her, goosebumps broke out on her skin, and then she relaxed.
Balancing nature was a tricky thing, especially with people like her upsetting the scales all the time. The re-setting of the equilibrium was automatic, a reflex, but sometimes it wasn't as simple as cold air after a heat spell.
When he finished his song, there was a smattering of applause. A few appreciative hoots. He was probably performing semi-regularly. Because it wasn't open mic night, as far as she could tell. But she didn't exactly see him peddling wares on MTV either.
She ordered another drink and waited for him. He didn't disappoint.
"You almost made me miss a chord," Lindsey McDonald said, taking the stool next to her. He motioned to the bartender with his finger, and moments later was brought a beer.
"Glad you noticed," she said, smiling up at him.
They looked at each other, both beaming with shades of joy they had no business having, and just took the sight of one another in.
"You look really pleased with yourself," he said.
"And you, you've got a hand."
He lifted it for her to see, flexed his fingers a little. "It's not mine, but I'm stuck with it."
"Do you... perform here a lot?"
"Third time. I know one of the owners, try to drop by whenever I'm in town."
"So you're not from here." She was aware of at least some kind of falling out with Wolfram and Hart. Something to do with the hand, but Cordelia wasn't clear on the details. She made a mental note to call Cordelia from whatever motel she'd be staying in that night.
He paused. "No, I don't live anywhere." He drank from his beer bottle for a second.
"Ah, living the life of a musician."
"Something like that," he laughed. "You're doing magic outside of Sunnydale, I see."
She held up her hand much the same way he did, and flexed her fingers as well. "I discovered that I can. Little things. But based on what you told me, I could probably do so much more."
"You don't want to find out?"
"No reason to," she said. She picked the cherry off the top of her vodka and cranberry juice cocktail and popped it in her mouth. "Is it safe for you, being this close to LA?"
He eyed her a little suspiciously. "How much do you know?"
"All I know is they gave you the evil hand and now you don't work for them anymore. I'm sure they're bummed. How much did that operation cost, a few bucks shy of a million?"
"Well first of all, rumors about the evilness of my hand have been greatly exaggerated. By me." Lindsey said. "And you're right, they're not happy about the wasted investment. I'm sure they'll get they've already appraised my other body parts in preparation for payback."
The imagery bothered her, but he was nonchalant about it so she let it slide. "Interesting," she said instead. "Which brings me back to, is it safe for you to be this close to LA?"
"Business takes me down this road a few times. I don't deliberately avoid LA, I just... But look who's talking." A sly grin took over his features. "Don't you still have a family of crazy witches after you?"
She had to hand it to him -- he remembered. He probably knew more than he was letting on, she had to give him credit for it. Aurora cleared her throat. "Well, business is taking me down this road too."
She had a vision about going to LA. Something to do with the past. She didn't know what to do, how to do it, and when, but she got on the road anyway as soon she as figured out that that was what she was supposed to be doing.
She had to trust these things. They reveal themselves with more clarity sooner or later.
====
He watched as Aurora sprinkled salt on her wrist. "Current place of residence," she said. Lindsey was noticing the curve of her hand, graceful long fingers. Powerful long fingers.
She was watching him, so he made with the salt himself. "I actually crash in three different places now. An apartment in San Francisco. A small house in Las Vegas. And my truck."
"So you just move back and forth between those two?"
"And other places in between, or not in between. I'm going everywhere."
It had taken them another minute at the bar to realize their conversation was going nowhere. The small talk was running out, but he wanted to talk to her. In the month or so that had gone by after he left Wolfram and Hart, he'd managed to avoid meeting all of his so-called LA friends.
Seeing her, however, was a strange comfort. She used to be an enemy, and recent turn of events led him to trust his enemies more now.
"I'm surprised you didn't up and leave the coast, or the country, or something." Aurora continued.
"I'm sure Wolfram and Hart have other things to be concerned about." Lindsey replied. "But that no longer covers the residence question. Now you."
"Ah." Aurora cleared her throat. "OK. The Sunnydale part you know. But now I rent a room from Rupert Giles."
"The British guy from the Watcher's Council."
"They're all British, but yes." The corner of her mouth formed into a smirk.
"How does that work out for you?"
"Giles is wonderful. Very accomodating." Her eyes dropped for a second. "He's been teaching me some martial arts, you know. Kicks and stuff."
"Slayer training. That's got to be an experience. But your powers, they protect your life anyway."
She shrugged. The alcohol had started to take effect (as it should, they had already gone through a bottle of tequila). Aurora was not a peppy person to begin with, but the liquor was peeling off what was actually a layer of pep from when he first saw her that evening.
She was sad.
"The power is a weapon. It's only as good as my aim. I believe we've finished the residence question." Aurora raised her shotglass, as did he.
Tequila was had by all.
"OK," he said. "The next question one better be the last. I shouldn't be drinking this much."
Aurora laughed. "This is not much. Or, well, *too* much. Bartender keeps bringing us drinks, though. They really like you around here."
"It's an economy that runs entirely on favors. I believe the last question is mine?"
"Fire away, attorney."
He reached across the table and touched her hair, pushing it back. Aurora didn't expect it, until she realized what he was doing. He hadn't seen her up close again since that day at the beach.
It was the first time he saw her scars.
"Tell me what it's like," he said.
"You realize by posing that question you're going to have to answer it as well."
"I don't mind."
Aurora sighed. "What's it like. Being hurt by Angel."
"Can you talk about it?"
"Of course. I can't say I was surprised, because you told me it was going to happen. I just... didn't expect it to be him."
"You have to admit, stroke of brilliance."
"Oh yeah. Standing ovations all around." She smiled. "They tell me I died at the hospital. I didn't feel it, but I know it happened. I remember the process of it, though. It was like... I was riding a rollercoaster."
"A rollercoaster."
"Yeah. Angel was drinking from me, and my body, it was like everything came on all at the same time. It was like I was running, screaming, riding a rollercoaster, doing all these strenuous things."
"You were fighting for your life, it happens."
"I guess that was it. But it wasn't fighting. It was just... flailing. Helpless flailing. And then everything kind of stops. Slows down."
At some point he touched her hand, and realized that she was shaking.
She looked at him then, appreciative of the gesture. "I don't hate him."
"I wouldn't blame you if you did, though."
"Yes, well. I don't."
"I know he made you drink his blood, Aurora."
Something flashed in her eyes. Pain. "That part I don't remember. I mean, I remember it, but I don't remember how it felt. My memory of it -- it's like I was watching from across the room. Don't know how it tasted like, or felt like. I just saw, and heard. And eventually I was in Wesley's arms... and then in the car... and then in the hospital."
"It's still painful for you."
She nodded. "I have nightmares about it. It's not possible, how I survived it. I couldn't have lost that much and still be alive. That, and he hurt me. I love him a lot, and he hurt me almost as much. It's hard reconciling that, how that soul just makes or breaks him. It's hard looking at him... it's just hard."
A low hum traveled up Lindsey's arm. Something like an electric current had traveled up from Aurora's hand, went up through him, and then into the table. All the ice cubes in the half-empty bucket next to them exploded, showering them in snow-like crushed ice.
Aurora gasped, and then giggled. "Oh God. My bad. I'm sorry."
He brushed some crushed ice off her eyelashes and grinned back at her. "That Watcher better be teaching you about controlling your magic too."
"It's your fault, you know. A lot of this is your fault."
"I did a lot during my tenure at Wolfram and Hart, you better remind me why this Winter Wonderland is all my doing."
"You told me I could do so much more with my magic. I'm starting to realize that. I don't want to, I have no reason to. But I know that I can. It's coming out little by little."
"Hence the crushed ice."
"I have to be careful. Sometimes I just think it and..." Aurora looked down at his hand, the same one that was holding hers at the moment. "But I've answered the question. Your turn."
And as if to punctuate what she just said, a cold spell fell on both of them.
He looked up, almost expecting snow to fall. "After effect of the spell?"
"Yeah, everything has consequences, all that." She squeezed his hand. "Your turn."
"You've forgiven him; I haven't." He said. "I did what I was supposed to do, we all know we just play our parts. Forces at work, we're just pawns. But him, he made it personal that day."
Suddenly they were speaking in hushed tones.
"He made it personal for me too," she whispered.
"Well, he didn't have his soul when he did that to you."
"That's true."
"And he apologized to you, I'm sure."
"That's also true."
Lindsey realized that he didn't know what else to say. You'd think a life-altering experience like losing a hand would inspire much more hate and regret. It didn't. It was a deep pain, but he had already come to terms with it.
She picked up on that. "So that's it. You realize you're wasting a big revelation moment here."
"I say we drink to it and call it a night."
"So be it."
They raised their glasses.
Aurora did that amusing shake of her head post-tequila shot. Lindsey realized that she was probably only a few blocks away from drunk. "You're not going back to Sunnydale tonight are you?"
====
"There's something I should be doing," Aurora said as she closed the door behind her. "But I can't remember what."
"How about, lock the door." Lindsey reached behind her and did just that.
"No, at the bar, I told myself I'd do something when I got to the motel, I just can't remember..." she trailed off, now looking at the locked door. "But we're not talking about that, are we."
"I'm sure it's not urgent if you can't remember it."
"Or I'm losing brain cells at the ripe old age of twenty-four." Losing them, it seemed, even as she spoke. She turned around, and he was still there. Inside. Her locked motel room.
A wave of deja vu hit her.
Or was that even fair?
"But... but that's not what we're talking about either," she said.
"I don't think we're supposed to be talking."
"Lindsey," she started to say, which was actually nothing anyway, and which inevitably didn't matter.
The kiss was not an attack, but neither was it gentle. It was claim, confession, revelation, and Aurora was neither helpless nor flailing, but had she been asked to describe how she felt now, being held like this, she would have described it the exact same way.
There was still something she wasn't remembering, and it bothered her.
She broke away from him to breathe and managed to say something. "Consequences."
"What?"
"Consequences," she said it breathlessly, looking up at him. "I... I don't know why I said that. Is there anything I should know? Gypsy curses? Evil hand issues?"
He smiled at her, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Your job is getting the better of you. Last time that happened to me, I quit."
She didn't feel any better. Granted, she was feeling better than she'd ever felt in a long time, but something about the dim lights and the alcohol and the handsome man and that thing she couldn't remember...
"It's nothing," she said, trying to shake the feeling away. "I don't know what I'm doing."
"Not supposed to be talking," he repeated softly. His hand was on her throat in moments, his finger tracing the length of her scar.
She kissed him this time. In no small part to stop him from fixating on the mark. It was too easy, to fall into that trap. To cop to a shared pain, a common tormentor. To admit to that was to have Angel in the room with them, that third person, all the time and she didn't want that.
His arms tightened around her and she sighed. Who was she kidding? The pain was still there. He had it, so did she, and they were together because of it.
His lips, they were on her cheek, her throat, the curve of her neck. Was he thinking about it? Did he only want to heal? To be with someone who shared it?
She'd always been alone, and even prepared herself to live it. It was easy when she knew she was going to die. It was easier when she only had Angel to devote her time and energy to. Without meaning to, he became the love of her life and without that it was like she was lost. This thing called free will, it was new and strange to her.
"You're not here," Lindsey tipped her chin so she was looking at him.
She shook her head, shook the memory of whatever it was away. "I am, I am."
He didn't believe her. He didn't say anything, but his finger traced her neck again, settling on the base of her throat. Aurora became painfully aware of her pulse, beating strongly against his finger, echoing loudly through her skin and in her ear.
Angel had made her aware of her heartbeat. It was all she heard when she was dying, when he was taking her life from her. It was like music in her head, the soundtrack to her slipping away, and for a long time it was like Angel owned it. He had marked that moment in her head and burned it in, like everything about it was his.
And then she understood the deja vu. It wasn't just the locked room and the intimacy. It was the beating of her own heart. That night Angel possessed it, controlled it, made it stop. Tonight Lindsey was making it his.
Damn it. It was hers, and she wanted it back.
"I'm here," she said, and kissed him fervently.
====
The red room was more dimly lit than usual.
In fact, Aurora could hardly see.
"Hello?" she called.
"I'm here," the young woman said.
Aurora was standing in the middle of the room. She didn't know why she thought she was alone. There was a young woman with her, and they were wearing the same dress. Aurora knew of her, but they were never introduced. She wondered why Rebecca wasn't offering her name.
"But of course you are."
The girl smiled at her. "You don't know."
"I don't know what?"
"It's time."
By instinct Aurora checked her wrist and saw she wasn't wearing a watch. "Time for what?"
"It's time, Aurora."
====
The red room was more dimly lit than usual.
In fact, Aurora could hardly see.
"Hello?" she called.
"I'm here," Buffy said.
Aurora was standing in the middle of the room. She didn't know why she thought she was alone. Obviously Buffy was there. Maybe it was the dress. Her dress was a different color.
"But of course you are."
Buffy smiled at her. "You don't know."
"I don't know what?"
"It's time."
By instinct Aurora checked her wrist and saw she wasn't wearing a watch. "Time for what?"
"It's time, Aurora."
====
"What time is it?"
It was a full second of disorientation, like she didn't transition post-vision too well even after years of practice. She sat up abruptly, all senses alert, noting that the sun was shining, and almost nothing else.
Lindsey stirred beside her and a wristwatch came into eye view. "After eight," he said, hand lightly resting on the small of her back. "You late for something?"
She sighed. "I'm sure I am. I just don't know..."
Deep breath. Let it all come together.
First, though, she let herself slink back into bed. Lindsey was observing her, half-amused. She could tell because he was grinning. Half-concerned as well. She could tell because he asked.
"Did you have a vision?"
"Yes, I did. I'm supposed to be doing something."
"Do you know what it is?"
"It'll come back to me, I know."
She cherished all of this. His fingers on her skin. His breath against her ear. It was all surprisingly comforting, and she didn't want to leave it. It almost hurt her that she was going to have to.
She couldn't help it, she slapped his chest. "It's your fault," Aurora declared.
Lindsey caught the errant hand and held it prisoner. "Again, I have a long list of crimes, you better remind me which one you're talking about now."
"The Slayer hates me."
Lindsey laughed. "Oh, that one."
"She hates me, and she doesn't trust me. It makes the work so much harder. Anonymously, I could probably swing it. But no, you had to go ruin that." She wasn't whining, though. It was a statement of fact, they both knew it, and both knew there was nothing they could do, really.
Lindsey must have noticed the regret that passed her face again. He pulled her to him, stretching her against him in that way she found surprisingly comforting. Her palm braced her body against his chest and she felt it, his pulse. It wasn't beating in sync with her own. It was going its own languid pace.
Aurora was quiet for a long moment, mesmerized by it.
He was slightly amused by this. "Are you surprised I have one?"
"Clever, clever man." She said dryly. "I'm surprised that no one owns it."
"Well, if you act like you don't use it, other people don't value it in you either."
She remembered what they talked about when they first met face to face. Something about doing the same job, for different bosses. Apparently it didn't matter for whom you worked, the job was thankless in and of itself. She kissed his forehead. "They're wrong."
And then it all came back to her, the visions in her head during the night. As well as the thing she had told herself not to forget. "Call Cordelia," she whispered.
====
"Just let me know if we're supposed to be gunning the engine and doing some serious car chase sequences," Aurora said cheerfully, right after asking Lindsey to pull over next to a hip little outdoor coffee shop in downtown LA.
He tossed a cautious look over one shoulder, quickly. "If Wolfram and Hart wanted my head, they'd have it right now. I think we're pretty much safe. You, any gypsy relatives hanging around?"
She shook her head. "No, not that I notice. And I'd see them, I know it."
"So. Tell me."
"One second," she said, shushing him with her finger. "There."
Aurora pointed back to the coffee shop, just as a young woman took an outdoor table. She had a cup topped with whipped cream and a fashion magazine.
The reaction wasn't entirely unexpected. He did a double take, and looked at her suspiciously. "What the hell is this, Aurora?"
"You know her, don't you?"
"Rebecca Luzt. Eighteen years old. I believe she's a relative of yours. I opened the file on her and updated it until I quit."
Aurora nodded. "Assigned to protect Angel after I botched up the whole thing. I know you've got the file on her. I know also that she's not doing this whole covert thing very well."
"Why, has she kissed Angel yet?"
That earned him a light slap on the wrist. "If Wolfram and Hart have a file on her this quickly, she's not going to last. You have to tell her, Lindsey. You have to tell her what you told me."
"This is a vision thing," Lindsey backed away from her ever so slightly. "Last night, the bar. That wasn't by chance."
"You used to create these 'accidents' for a living, Lindsey."
"Is this a recruitment campaign? Did the Powers tell you to do everything to rope me in?"
For some reason, it was coming out all wrong. Aurora shook her head vehemently and grabbed his wrist. "I can't believe you're even suggesting that," she hissed. "I'm telling you this now because I trust you. And because you what you did for me then was an important part of what I'm doing now. You gave me that choice, Lindsey. That's all we have to give Rebecca. The choice. She's in the same situation I was, she doesn't know what's going to be done to her."
"You can do this yourself, Aurora."
"You forget that I have to stay away from LA."
"Are you forgetting I'm not safe here either?"
She sighed. "I know how not safe you are. I just wanted you to know that I want you to do this. You realize you're the only one I can ask. Angel should stay out of this."
The name was enough to silence them both, and they looked at each other now with an intensity she didn't want to flinch away from. It didn't matter whether or not he agreed, really, she just wanted him to believe her sincerity.
Because most likely the night that had seemed like a wonderful accident probably wasn't. He had to understand that.
He cleared his throat. "I can't promise you anything."
She sighed. "I don't expect you to."
"And this surprising revelation comes to you the one and only night we spend with one another."
She nodded. "Yes."
"And this, in no way, involves me in the redemption of Angel."
"It doesn't," Aurora said. "Lindsey, I've lived long enough under that cloud, and so have you. This is just about us now."
"I'll think about it."
"OK."
Hands found each other, fingers intertwined. "You've changed, Aurora." He was looking at her, in that way she found strangely comforting.
Small words, small gestures, and it did wonders for her heart. This was her plan now. One where the choice did not involve Angel, or Buffy, or anything remotely apocalyptic. It was like a whole new life, and she was grateful Lindsey was open to being part of it. "It's this lovely thing called free will I discovered recently."
"So where else do you need to go?"
Aurora smiled. "The Hyperion Hotel. You won't have to do anything, I promise."
THE END.
These characters don't belong to me, but to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and all related entities with a rightful claim to them. Aurora is a character I have created myself, placed in their universe.
This is a sort-of sequel to "Destinies". It stands alone as a love story, but connects with two prior stories I wrote, namely "Protection" and "Destinies". (I hardly do any exposition here, so any confusing details can be cleared up by checking out those two.)
This story takes place around the same time as The Gift and There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb. Rated PG for some implied sexual situations. Events in Buffy season 5 and Angel season 2 remain essentially intact, with the addition of events from the previous stories mentioned above.
Special dedications to luckystarsdpc and lisa. This may not be the continuation you expected, but I *am* working on it!
Send feedback please to slayerbelle@go.com
Heartbeats
by Slayerbelle
Well, would you look at that.
Aurora Halley wasn't sure he'd see her. She'd taken the stage at Caritas once before, and realized that with the bright lights on you, you don't see the crowd. They're all silhouettes, shadows in darkness, and you feel like you're alone with only that song, only that music.
She placed her palm over the rim of her glass and concentrated. Slowly, the champagne bubbled. And then the bubbles came quickly, fizzing and popping a soft green glow, culminating in a brilliant flash of green light -- brighter and quicker than a camera's flash bulb. As the bar's patrons looked at one another in surprise, she took her palm off the glass and feigned innocence.
A quick chill fell over the steamy bar. Aurora counted. It lasted only around three seconds, barely enough time for people to notice. As it passed through her, goosebumps broke out on her skin, and then she relaxed.
Balancing nature was a tricky thing, especially with people like her upsetting the scales all the time. The re-setting of the equilibrium was automatic, a reflex, but sometimes it wasn't as simple as cold air after a heat spell.
When he finished his song, there was a smattering of applause. A few appreciative hoots. He was probably performing semi-regularly. Because it wasn't open mic night, as far as she could tell. But she didn't exactly see him peddling wares on MTV either.
She ordered another drink and waited for him. He didn't disappoint.
"You almost made me miss a chord," Lindsey McDonald said, taking the stool next to her. He motioned to the bartender with his finger, and moments later was brought a beer.
"Glad you noticed," she said, smiling up at him.
They looked at each other, both beaming with shades of joy they had no business having, and just took the sight of one another in.
"You look really pleased with yourself," he said.
"And you, you've got a hand."
He lifted it for her to see, flexed his fingers a little. "It's not mine, but I'm stuck with it."
"Do you... perform here a lot?"
"Third time. I know one of the owners, try to drop by whenever I'm in town."
"So you're not from here." She was aware of at least some kind of falling out with Wolfram and Hart. Something to do with the hand, but Cordelia wasn't clear on the details. She made a mental note to call Cordelia from whatever motel she'd be staying in that night.
He paused. "No, I don't live anywhere." He drank from his beer bottle for a second.
"Ah, living the life of a musician."
"Something like that," he laughed. "You're doing magic outside of Sunnydale, I see."
She held up her hand much the same way he did, and flexed her fingers as well. "I discovered that I can. Little things. But based on what you told me, I could probably do so much more."
"You don't want to find out?"
"No reason to," she said. She picked the cherry off the top of her vodka and cranberry juice cocktail and popped it in her mouth. "Is it safe for you, being this close to LA?"
He eyed her a little suspiciously. "How much do you know?"
"All I know is they gave you the evil hand and now you don't work for them anymore. I'm sure they're bummed. How much did that operation cost, a few bucks shy of a million?"
"Well first of all, rumors about the evilness of my hand have been greatly exaggerated. By me." Lindsey said. "And you're right, they're not happy about the wasted investment. I'm sure they'll get they've already appraised my other body parts in preparation for payback."
The imagery bothered her, but he was nonchalant about it so she let it slide. "Interesting," she said instead. "Which brings me back to, is it safe for you to be this close to LA?"
"Business takes me down this road a few times. I don't deliberately avoid LA, I just... But look who's talking." A sly grin took over his features. "Don't you still have a family of crazy witches after you?"
She had to hand it to him -- he remembered. He probably knew more than he was letting on, she had to give him credit for it. Aurora cleared her throat. "Well, business is taking me down this road too."
She had a vision about going to LA. Something to do with the past. She didn't know what to do, how to do it, and when, but she got on the road anyway as soon she as figured out that that was what she was supposed to be doing.
She had to trust these things. They reveal themselves with more clarity sooner or later.
====
He watched as Aurora sprinkled salt on her wrist. "Current place of residence," she said. Lindsey was noticing the curve of her hand, graceful long fingers. Powerful long fingers.
She was watching him, so he made with the salt himself. "I actually crash in three different places now. An apartment in San Francisco. A small house in Las Vegas. And my truck."
"So you just move back and forth between those two?"
"And other places in between, or not in between. I'm going everywhere."
It had taken them another minute at the bar to realize their conversation was going nowhere. The small talk was running out, but he wanted to talk to her. In the month or so that had gone by after he left Wolfram and Hart, he'd managed to avoid meeting all of his so-called LA friends.
Seeing her, however, was a strange comfort. She used to be an enemy, and recent turn of events led him to trust his enemies more now.
"I'm surprised you didn't up and leave the coast, or the country, or something." Aurora continued.
"I'm sure Wolfram and Hart have other things to be concerned about." Lindsey replied. "But that no longer covers the residence question. Now you."
"Ah." Aurora cleared her throat. "OK. The Sunnydale part you know. But now I rent a room from Rupert Giles."
"The British guy from the Watcher's Council."
"They're all British, but yes." The corner of her mouth formed into a smirk.
"How does that work out for you?"
"Giles is wonderful. Very accomodating." Her eyes dropped for a second. "He's been teaching me some martial arts, you know. Kicks and stuff."
"Slayer training. That's got to be an experience. But your powers, they protect your life anyway."
She shrugged. The alcohol had started to take effect (as it should, they had already gone through a bottle of tequila). Aurora was not a peppy person to begin with, but the liquor was peeling off what was actually a layer of pep from when he first saw her that evening.
She was sad.
"The power is a weapon. It's only as good as my aim. I believe we've finished the residence question." Aurora raised her shotglass, as did he.
Tequila was had by all.
"OK," he said. "The next question one better be the last. I shouldn't be drinking this much."
Aurora laughed. "This is not much. Or, well, *too* much. Bartender keeps bringing us drinks, though. They really like you around here."
"It's an economy that runs entirely on favors. I believe the last question is mine?"
"Fire away, attorney."
He reached across the table and touched her hair, pushing it back. Aurora didn't expect it, until she realized what he was doing. He hadn't seen her up close again since that day at the beach.
It was the first time he saw her scars.
"Tell me what it's like," he said.
"You realize by posing that question you're going to have to answer it as well."
"I don't mind."
Aurora sighed. "What's it like. Being hurt by Angel."
"Can you talk about it?"
"Of course. I can't say I was surprised, because you told me it was going to happen. I just... didn't expect it to be him."
"You have to admit, stroke of brilliance."
"Oh yeah. Standing ovations all around." She smiled. "They tell me I died at the hospital. I didn't feel it, but I know it happened. I remember the process of it, though. It was like... I was riding a rollercoaster."
"A rollercoaster."
"Yeah. Angel was drinking from me, and my body, it was like everything came on all at the same time. It was like I was running, screaming, riding a rollercoaster, doing all these strenuous things."
"You were fighting for your life, it happens."
"I guess that was it. But it wasn't fighting. It was just... flailing. Helpless flailing. And then everything kind of stops. Slows down."
At some point he touched her hand, and realized that she was shaking.
She looked at him then, appreciative of the gesture. "I don't hate him."
"I wouldn't blame you if you did, though."
"Yes, well. I don't."
"I know he made you drink his blood, Aurora."
Something flashed in her eyes. Pain. "That part I don't remember. I mean, I remember it, but I don't remember how it felt. My memory of it -- it's like I was watching from across the room. Don't know how it tasted like, or felt like. I just saw, and heard. And eventually I was in Wesley's arms... and then in the car... and then in the hospital."
"It's still painful for you."
She nodded. "I have nightmares about it. It's not possible, how I survived it. I couldn't have lost that much and still be alive. That, and he hurt me. I love him a lot, and he hurt me almost as much. It's hard reconciling that, how that soul just makes or breaks him. It's hard looking at him... it's just hard."
A low hum traveled up Lindsey's arm. Something like an electric current had traveled up from Aurora's hand, went up through him, and then into the table. All the ice cubes in the half-empty bucket next to them exploded, showering them in snow-like crushed ice.
Aurora gasped, and then giggled. "Oh God. My bad. I'm sorry."
He brushed some crushed ice off her eyelashes and grinned back at her. "That Watcher better be teaching you about controlling your magic too."
"It's your fault, you know. A lot of this is your fault."
"I did a lot during my tenure at Wolfram and Hart, you better remind me why this Winter Wonderland is all my doing."
"You told me I could do so much more with my magic. I'm starting to realize that. I don't want to, I have no reason to. But I know that I can. It's coming out little by little."
"Hence the crushed ice."
"I have to be careful. Sometimes I just think it and..." Aurora looked down at his hand, the same one that was holding hers at the moment. "But I've answered the question. Your turn."
And as if to punctuate what she just said, a cold spell fell on both of them.
He looked up, almost expecting snow to fall. "After effect of the spell?"
"Yeah, everything has consequences, all that." She squeezed his hand. "Your turn."
"You've forgiven him; I haven't." He said. "I did what I was supposed to do, we all know we just play our parts. Forces at work, we're just pawns. But him, he made it personal that day."
Suddenly they were speaking in hushed tones.
"He made it personal for me too," she whispered.
"Well, he didn't have his soul when he did that to you."
"That's true."
"And he apologized to you, I'm sure."
"That's also true."
Lindsey realized that he didn't know what else to say. You'd think a life-altering experience like losing a hand would inspire much more hate and regret. It didn't. It was a deep pain, but he had already come to terms with it.
She picked up on that. "So that's it. You realize you're wasting a big revelation moment here."
"I say we drink to it and call it a night."
"So be it."
They raised their glasses.
Aurora did that amusing shake of her head post-tequila shot. Lindsey realized that she was probably only a few blocks away from drunk. "You're not going back to Sunnydale tonight are you?"
====
"There's something I should be doing," Aurora said as she closed the door behind her. "But I can't remember what."
"How about, lock the door." Lindsey reached behind her and did just that.
"No, at the bar, I told myself I'd do something when I got to the motel, I just can't remember..." she trailed off, now looking at the locked door. "But we're not talking about that, are we."
"I'm sure it's not urgent if you can't remember it."
"Or I'm losing brain cells at the ripe old age of twenty-four." Losing them, it seemed, even as she spoke. She turned around, and he was still there. Inside. Her locked motel room.
A wave of deja vu hit her.
Or was that even fair?
"But... but that's not what we're talking about either," she said.
"I don't think we're supposed to be talking."
"Lindsey," she started to say, which was actually nothing anyway, and which inevitably didn't matter.
The kiss was not an attack, but neither was it gentle. It was claim, confession, revelation, and Aurora was neither helpless nor flailing, but had she been asked to describe how she felt now, being held like this, she would have described it the exact same way.
There was still something she wasn't remembering, and it bothered her.
She broke away from him to breathe and managed to say something. "Consequences."
"What?"
"Consequences," she said it breathlessly, looking up at him. "I... I don't know why I said that. Is there anything I should know? Gypsy curses? Evil hand issues?"
He smiled at her, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Your job is getting the better of you. Last time that happened to me, I quit."
She didn't feel any better. Granted, she was feeling better than she'd ever felt in a long time, but something about the dim lights and the alcohol and the handsome man and that thing she couldn't remember...
"It's nothing," she said, trying to shake the feeling away. "I don't know what I'm doing."
"Not supposed to be talking," he repeated softly. His hand was on her throat in moments, his finger tracing the length of her scar.
She kissed him this time. In no small part to stop him from fixating on the mark. It was too easy, to fall into that trap. To cop to a shared pain, a common tormentor. To admit to that was to have Angel in the room with them, that third person, all the time and she didn't want that.
His arms tightened around her and she sighed. Who was she kidding? The pain was still there. He had it, so did she, and they were together because of it.
His lips, they were on her cheek, her throat, the curve of her neck. Was he thinking about it? Did he only want to heal? To be with someone who shared it?
She'd always been alone, and even prepared herself to live it. It was easy when she knew she was going to die. It was easier when she only had Angel to devote her time and energy to. Without meaning to, he became the love of her life and without that it was like she was lost. This thing called free will, it was new and strange to her.
"You're not here," Lindsey tipped her chin so she was looking at him.
She shook her head, shook the memory of whatever it was away. "I am, I am."
He didn't believe her. He didn't say anything, but his finger traced her neck again, settling on the base of her throat. Aurora became painfully aware of her pulse, beating strongly against his finger, echoing loudly through her skin and in her ear.
Angel had made her aware of her heartbeat. It was all she heard when she was dying, when he was taking her life from her. It was like music in her head, the soundtrack to her slipping away, and for a long time it was like Angel owned it. He had marked that moment in her head and burned it in, like everything about it was his.
And then she understood the deja vu. It wasn't just the locked room and the intimacy. It was the beating of her own heart. That night Angel possessed it, controlled it, made it stop. Tonight Lindsey was making it his.
Damn it. It was hers, and she wanted it back.
"I'm here," she said, and kissed him fervently.
====
The red room was more dimly lit than usual.
In fact, Aurora could hardly see.
"Hello?" she called.
"I'm here," the young woman said.
Aurora was standing in the middle of the room. She didn't know why she thought she was alone. There was a young woman with her, and they were wearing the same dress. Aurora knew of her, but they were never introduced. She wondered why Rebecca wasn't offering her name.
"But of course you are."
The girl smiled at her. "You don't know."
"I don't know what?"
"It's time."
By instinct Aurora checked her wrist and saw she wasn't wearing a watch. "Time for what?"
"It's time, Aurora."
====
The red room was more dimly lit than usual.
In fact, Aurora could hardly see.
"Hello?" she called.
"I'm here," Buffy said.
Aurora was standing in the middle of the room. She didn't know why she thought she was alone. Obviously Buffy was there. Maybe it was the dress. Her dress was a different color.
"But of course you are."
Buffy smiled at her. "You don't know."
"I don't know what?"
"It's time."
By instinct Aurora checked her wrist and saw she wasn't wearing a watch. "Time for what?"
"It's time, Aurora."
====
"What time is it?"
It was a full second of disorientation, like she didn't transition post-vision too well even after years of practice. She sat up abruptly, all senses alert, noting that the sun was shining, and almost nothing else.
Lindsey stirred beside her and a wristwatch came into eye view. "After eight," he said, hand lightly resting on the small of her back. "You late for something?"
She sighed. "I'm sure I am. I just don't know..."
Deep breath. Let it all come together.
First, though, she let herself slink back into bed. Lindsey was observing her, half-amused. She could tell because he was grinning. Half-concerned as well. She could tell because he asked.
"Did you have a vision?"
"Yes, I did. I'm supposed to be doing something."
"Do you know what it is?"
"It'll come back to me, I know."
She cherished all of this. His fingers on her skin. His breath against her ear. It was all surprisingly comforting, and she didn't want to leave it. It almost hurt her that she was going to have to.
She couldn't help it, she slapped his chest. "It's your fault," Aurora declared.
Lindsey caught the errant hand and held it prisoner. "Again, I have a long list of crimes, you better remind me which one you're talking about now."
"The Slayer hates me."
Lindsey laughed. "Oh, that one."
"She hates me, and she doesn't trust me. It makes the work so much harder. Anonymously, I could probably swing it. But no, you had to go ruin that." She wasn't whining, though. It was a statement of fact, they both knew it, and both knew there was nothing they could do, really.
Lindsey must have noticed the regret that passed her face again. He pulled her to him, stretching her against him in that way she found surprisingly comforting. Her palm braced her body against his chest and she felt it, his pulse. It wasn't beating in sync with her own. It was going its own languid pace.
Aurora was quiet for a long moment, mesmerized by it.
He was slightly amused by this. "Are you surprised I have one?"
"Clever, clever man." She said dryly. "I'm surprised that no one owns it."
"Well, if you act like you don't use it, other people don't value it in you either."
She remembered what they talked about when they first met face to face. Something about doing the same job, for different bosses. Apparently it didn't matter for whom you worked, the job was thankless in and of itself. She kissed his forehead. "They're wrong."
And then it all came back to her, the visions in her head during the night. As well as the thing she had told herself not to forget. "Call Cordelia," she whispered.
====
"Just let me know if we're supposed to be gunning the engine and doing some serious car chase sequences," Aurora said cheerfully, right after asking Lindsey to pull over next to a hip little outdoor coffee shop in downtown LA.
He tossed a cautious look over one shoulder, quickly. "If Wolfram and Hart wanted my head, they'd have it right now. I think we're pretty much safe. You, any gypsy relatives hanging around?"
She shook her head. "No, not that I notice. And I'd see them, I know it."
"So. Tell me."
"One second," she said, shushing him with her finger. "There."
Aurora pointed back to the coffee shop, just as a young woman took an outdoor table. She had a cup topped with whipped cream and a fashion magazine.
The reaction wasn't entirely unexpected. He did a double take, and looked at her suspiciously. "What the hell is this, Aurora?"
"You know her, don't you?"
"Rebecca Luzt. Eighteen years old. I believe she's a relative of yours. I opened the file on her and updated it until I quit."
Aurora nodded. "Assigned to protect Angel after I botched up the whole thing. I know you've got the file on her. I know also that she's not doing this whole covert thing very well."
"Why, has she kissed Angel yet?"
That earned him a light slap on the wrist. "If Wolfram and Hart have a file on her this quickly, she's not going to last. You have to tell her, Lindsey. You have to tell her what you told me."
"This is a vision thing," Lindsey backed away from her ever so slightly. "Last night, the bar. That wasn't by chance."
"You used to create these 'accidents' for a living, Lindsey."
"Is this a recruitment campaign? Did the Powers tell you to do everything to rope me in?"
For some reason, it was coming out all wrong. Aurora shook her head vehemently and grabbed his wrist. "I can't believe you're even suggesting that," she hissed. "I'm telling you this now because I trust you. And because you what you did for me then was an important part of what I'm doing now. You gave me that choice, Lindsey. That's all we have to give Rebecca. The choice. She's in the same situation I was, she doesn't know what's going to be done to her."
"You can do this yourself, Aurora."
"You forget that I have to stay away from LA."
"Are you forgetting I'm not safe here either?"
She sighed. "I know how not safe you are. I just wanted you to know that I want you to do this. You realize you're the only one I can ask. Angel should stay out of this."
The name was enough to silence them both, and they looked at each other now with an intensity she didn't want to flinch away from. It didn't matter whether or not he agreed, really, she just wanted him to believe her sincerity.
Because most likely the night that had seemed like a wonderful accident probably wasn't. He had to understand that.
He cleared his throat. "I can't promise you anything."
She sighed. "I don't expect you to."
"And this surprising revelation comes to you the one and only night we spend with one another."
She nodded. "Yes."
"And this, in no way, involves me in the redemption of Angel."
"It doesn't," Aurora said. "Lindsey, I've lived long enough under that cloud, and so have you. This is just about us now."
"I'll think about it."
"OK."
Hands found each other, fingers intertwined. "You've changed, Aurora." He was looking at her, in that way she found strangely comforting.
Small words, small gestures, and it did wonders for her heart. This was her plan now. One where the choice did not involve Angel, or Buffy, or anything remotely apocalyptic. It was like a whole new life, and she was grateful Lindsey was open to being part of it. "It's this lovely thing called free will I discovered recently."
"So where else do you need to go?"
Aurora smiled. "The Hyperion Hotel. You won't have to do anything, I promise."
THE END.