The first hint I had that Helga G. Pataki was in love with me was during the 4th grade school play. I played Romeo, she played Juliet. During the final scene, she kissed me for a suspiciously long time. I knew something was up.
I guess I always knew on some level that Helga didn't actually hate me. After all, I had never done anything to her to justify any kind of hatred. Heck, my biggest offense to her was having an oddly shaped head. Her behavior towards me was always paradoxical at best; she claimed to hate me, and yet she expended all this time and energy to making my life miserable. Almost to an obsessive degree.
The first time I started to realize I felt the same way was when she hit her head on the water fountain. Though I later learned she had been faking amnesia, we had been spending a great deal of time together. This was due in part to my guilt and fear of leaving her alone in her fragile state. She took this opportunity to really cozy up to me in a way that she hadn't been able to before; I could finally see her as she truly was, with all her walls down. The more time I spent with her, the more relaxed I became around her and the more amused I became with her antics. She was really quite charming and playful when she wasn't putting up the act of a tough bully.
I noticed that I wasn't at all bothered by her holding my hand, which happened to fit perfectly in hers. I found myself feeling warm and flushed by her touch. Whenever she would nestle into my chest for guidance and protection, I would experience a curious sensation that would linger long after she had left my side. I cherished the small, sweet moments we spent just picking flowers, eating pudding, without a care in the world. Even after she confessed to me that she was faking it, I still longed for more.
Incidentally, I did end up getting more from her on the top of the FTI tower. It was then and there that she fully elucidated her feelings for me. The news itself was already shocking enough but then. . .she kissed me. Long and hard. The sensations I had been feeling when she had faked amnesia had increased tenfold in a fiery explosion.
Naturally, this was a scary thing to process for a young kid. Falling in love with your childhood tormentor is a rather perplexing phenomenon. The truth is I wasn't fully ready to face those feelings. Even if I did like Helga, and I knew she (really) liked me, it was much too deep and intense for me to fully comprehend at that moment. So, I gave her an out; the option to take it all back and continue to torment me. It wasn't ever as bad as it was before the confession. While it was all pretty overwhelming at first, I'm glad she put it out there.
It's been 12 years and I wouldn't do a single thing over. Helga and I have been happily dating for a little over 7 years now. Though it took us both a while to fully mature and come to terms with our feelings, once we did, everything fell right into place. There was no need to doubt or rush into anything, no more lingering insecurities, just a lot of goofy, transparent love. Who knew that I, at 9 years old, would end up with Helga G. Pataki of all people? Ah well, stranger things have happened.