Lexa is slumped against the bar, feeling completely defeated. She is already three drinks in and her head is already feeling fuzzy; she knows that she's going to regret this in the morning. Just like she does every morning for the last few months. Every
day after work she comes by Polis to drown her sorrows in whiskey and cheap beer, but it's never enough. It will never be enough to dull the ache in her heart that has been ever-present since the day that Clarke left. She supposes that it only makes
it worse, alcohol making her senses dull but somehow not helping her forget the love of her life. All she can think about is Clarke, this will probably never change. Lexa hears the scrape of a barstool as someone takes the seat next to her, already
knowing who it is. She sits up while heaving a deep sigh as she orders another drink from the bartender.
"Are you still moping around about Clarke?" Lexa visibly flinches at hearing the name spoken out loud. Anya notices this and sighs, knowing that her best friend will not get over Clarke easily. She's tried to get her back into the dating scene, but Lexa
won't have it and simply refuses to go anywhere that's not work or Polis. Anya won't take no for an answer this time, "Come on, Lex, you're better off now than you ever were with her." The glare that Anya receives for that comment does not go unnoticed
by the blonde, but she chooses to ignore it and tries again.
"I'm sure a few drinks will help you to forget her," Anya offers with a small, sympathetic smile. Lexa simply scoffs at that 'what do you think I've been doing for the last three months'she thinks, but accepts the new beer from Anya, while quickly
downing the glass of whiskey in front of her. The alcohol continues being shoved toward Lexa, as she steadily begins to lose her grip on reality. The more alcohol that enters her system the less that she can control herself and her thoughts begin
racing, 'am I better off dead? am I better off a quitter?'.
Lexa's vision begins to blur and she wonders how much she has had to drink. She quickly stands, stumbling toward the exit and running into one too many tables on the way out and finally bursts into the street. She orients herself, still trying to see
clearly. Anya walks out shortly behind her friend, now slightly regretting encouraging Lexa to drink herself into a stupor. As Lexa walks down the street, practically dragging her feet in her drunkenness; Anya follows patiently, understanding that
Lexa may need this in order to move on.
Suddenly Lexa begins to attempt to shout, her words coming out slurred and way quieter than she intended. "Clarke! Please forgive me, I'm so sorry. I'll do anything, please Clarke!" She lets out broken (and drunken) sobs as she repeats this, slowly getting
quieter the more they walk. Anya notices as Lexa begins to pull her phone out of her pocket and goes to stop her, as she is sure that Clarke does not want to hear from a drunken Lexa. Lexa simply shakes her off slurring about how she has to do this
and something that sounded like incoherent mumblings followed by, "she'll take me back for sure". Anya just let her call, and watched as Lexa dialed Clarke's number and confess to her that she was still in love. After her confession Lexa stopped and
listened; Anya thought that maybe Clarke had answered, maybe she was reciprocating Lexa's regret for the end of their relationship.
"NOTHING!" Anya jumps, surprised by the outburst and just watches as Lexa throws the phone toward the ground in her anger. Lexa then drops her head into her hands as she stands there looking more defeated than ever.
Lexa quickly turns to Anya, almost as if only now noticing that she's there and addresses her, "I can change her mind. I can turn it all around."
"Lexa, you're drunk", Anya tried to reason with her.
"I know! I know that I'm drunk, but I'll say the words and she'll listen this time!" Lexa seemed so sure this time, as if Clarke couldn't turn her down this time. This wasn't the first time that Lexa has harassed Clarke looking for reconciliation.
Lexa then took off, running with more fervor than Anya has ever seen from a drunk person. Granted, she was still stumbling with every step, holding onto the railings and fences of houses as she walked by looking for the right one.
"I know if we're face to face, she'll come to her senses" Lexa whispers out as she slows to catch her breath and Anya finally catches up to her. Lexa then continues on her journey, with every drunk step leading her to Clarke's door.
Finally, they arrived at Clarkes house. Lexa stopped and admired the place where she used to spend so much time, a place that could've been home. Lexa takes a deep breath and then slowly walks up to the front door of the familiar house. She lightly knocks,
wanting to see Clarke but unsure if she can handle it. After minutes of waiting in silence Lexa knocks again, this time louder. Still she heard nothing. Lexa was unsure of what this meant, she didn't know why Clarke wouldn't answer the door. She begins
to pound on it, slowly losing herself as she can feel the hot tears running down her face. Anya quickly runs up and grabs Lexa, forcing her into a hug that she soon gives in to. Loud sobs rack Lexa's body and Anya has a hard time holding her up. Mixed
in with the heartbroken sobs, Anya can hearLexa calling out her ex-lovers' name. Anya knows that this has broken Lexa, and that she may never recover from this.
As Anya pulls Lexa away from the hauntingly familiar house, Lexa looks back one more time. She wanted words and all she heard was nothing.